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Saturday, 27 July 2013

People who now know I am trans

[ADD: 17 March 2015. It is not my normal policy to censor or change posts in this blog. What happened, happened, is my view. This post, though, has had to be changed as my original impression of this day was altered by subsequent events and leaving it as it is would give the wrong message to other trans people.]

Although I’ve made a lot of friends in the trans community over the last few years, I’ve also gradually been letting the friends who’ve known me longest know about my being heavily trans. Like many of us, I’ve disguised it well, and I think most of us do so through a fear of possible ridicule, abuse or even violence; a fear of unknown reactions to something most other people encounter only rarely.

When two of my closest female friends recently learned of the extent of my transness and, after having read this blog and looked at various other resources that I pointed them to such as Our Different Journey, they were keen to meet me as Sue.

So we met [and had lunch and they asked me many penetrating questions about being trans. I’m not sure I could give full answers, and analysing one’s deepest feelings and experiences is not easy. Whilst I thought that their questioning on this day was partly so that they could be supportive, in fact my answers were stored up and thrown back in my face the following year. The positive comments from blog readers below reflect my original delight that these people appeared at first sight to be on my side.

I guess the message now has to be that the policy of telling people that you are trans strictly on a need-to-know basis is right, since you never know who's actually on your side until something important to you is in their hands. ]

Sue x

Coming soon: fun in the sun

4 comments:

  1. Priceless indeed. Acceptance by others from outside the community is so affirming and on a personal level really lovely

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  2. What great news! <3

    PS: A dress? Too short? Shurely schome mishtake :-)

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  3. Thank you for your comments, ladies. I have generally found the reactions of people outside the trans community overwhelmingly positive, and when close friends remain close friends then it's as good as it gets. Sue x

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  4. The comments above were appropriate to the original post which was happy and positive that some old friends seemed to accept an aspect of me they'd not seen before. Becca is right, that acceptance is affirming, but it does need to be real. I'm sorry that in the end things didn't actually work out as hoped. Sue x

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