Body positive (or making a clean breast of it)

 True story. I had a phone number at work that was one digit removed from the Berlei Bras warehouse number and I would regularly get calls from London department stores and lingerie shops wanting to put in large orders. (I mean the orders were large, not the bras.) Sometimes the callers wouldn't check they were through to the right people and would rattle off the lists of pink French lace 40DDs and push-up Eye-Popper™enhancer bras before I could correct them.

My colleagues thought this was funny every time. But it was music to my trans ears, I can tell you. One cheeky co-worker asked me if Berlei Bras were for burly girls. If only she knew!

One day, following an apology from the shop buyer at the other end when she realised her mistake, my tongue disconnected from my brain and I said, "That's OK, we all make boobs."

I was so embarrassed! It just came out unconsciously. That is what comes from watching too much of the Two Ronnies and Dick Emery as a youngster. They say television corrupts the young ... and they're damned right!

Anyway, the point of resurrecting this story is that I seem to have been making boobs ... my real ones. My breasts first appeared in 2010. A classic case of gynecomastia. They came quite fast, they ached quite a bit and a female friend of mine said that's what happens when a girl goes through puberty. That was when I was first getting out of the closet and going out into the world. I wondered if the gynecomastia was psychosomatic, but since it's a very common condition, it may be just have been coincidence. Or my body was changing and the enhanced trans visibility was an unconscious response to that. Who knows. 

So I was happy enough with my A-cup. It was pretty affirming, and I wore breast forms or used various enhancer bras, even the explosive type, to get that ideal shape. But recently, despite losing a lot of weight and expecting my breasts to reduce accordingly, they actually seem to have expanded. I don't properly fill a B-cup but it's harder to add extra leverage in the cup than there used to be. I'm quite pleased with this new development. I hope it will continue. 

To B or not to B, that is the question.

And that brings me nicely to the next body positive event which is my return to a stricter slimming regime after the excesses of the summer - or rather the loss of control over food preparation, which always happens on holiday. Last winter (November to April) I lost 32 pounds. This time I want to complete the job by losing 28 pounds (12.7 kg) by the end of April. That's a pound a week, which should be easy enough. It will bring me well within my healthy weight range and will let me get back into those little dresses I used to love wearing.

Last week I lost 3 lb or 1.4 kg. A good start. Wish me luck.

I'm also setting time aside each and every weekend to epilate fully. It was a bit hit and miss before. Sheer tights over freshly smoothed legs feel wonderful and make the whole palaver worthwhile.

Kids' TV / TV kids

Talking of television influences on children, I was sorry to read of the recent death of actor and voice-over artist David Graham who did so many of the voices for children's TV shows, including Dr Who's nemesis, the Daleks, and Gerry Anderson's brilliant puppet series Thunderbirds where he voiced the genius Brains and, most famously, Parker, who was butler and chauffeur to Lady Penelope. Graham was 99 so we have to say he'd had a long and well-filled life. Rest in peace and thanks for the brilliant entertainment.

I had a real crush on Lady Penelope and wanted to marry her. To be fair, she's beautiful, intelligent and rich. And she has a pink Rolls-Royce! But I was told the pre-nuptial agreement would have too many strings attached. :-p

As if that wasn't enough, here's my age-old joke about Parker and Lady Penelope:

"Parker," Lady Penelope said, "Take off my dress."

"Yes, M'lady," said the obedient servant. And soon the dress was off.

"And now take off my bra."

"Of course, M'lady." And Parker duly fumbled with the clasp.

"Now, Parker, I want you to take my panties off."

The flustered flunkey did as he was bid and dropped the garment at Lady Penelope's feet.

"Now then, Parker," said the mistress, "I'll have to sack you if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again."

Sue x

Top Tips

 I've created a new page which gives direct links to pages on my blog that other trans people might find useful - how to select a perfume, for instance, or what swimwear to choose, or advice for keeping your hosiery neat and snag free. It's on the bar under the main banner. To judge by the stats, they're popular pages.

There are also links to useful trans metasites and news resources.

I'll be adding to it, of course.

I have always wanted to do a big resource page but the fact is that other people do it better than I can. So I'll be adding those other sites that I find especially helpful or interesting. Of course, my fellow bloggers can be found on the blogroll to the right.

I hope you find it helpful. Feedback is always welcome.

Personal news

It's been a busy week and I am looking forward to the weekend with more autumn markets to visit. We have now had two weeks of dry, sunny weather and I am well over the blues I got after all that cloud and ran in September and October.

I have not slept well, though. I dumped some random thoughts on the US election result here yesterday which is what has been troubling my sleep. I am more angry than worried. Although we saw what populism did in the 1930s-40s, with truly catastrophic results, this time round there is the blessing that autocratic and populist leaders are much more incompetent.

I'll be posting about my remaining untold adventures in the UK, describing my old photoshoot experiences and, given how much I enjoyed being a silver witch at Hallowe'en, I'll be contemplating more cosplay fun.

 

Have a nice weekend. How about starting it off cheerfully with an oh-too-true and funny song, this rare little 1940s number, "I caught my husband wearing my dress" that has just dropped from Sus Records. These AI song systems now are incredible. Obviously it wasn't long before someone realised you could write rude or ridiculous songs in older styles and many of the offerings are hilarious because of the incongruity between, say, classic rock and roll and modern sexual interests. However, most are not safe for work or family home time. But this one is clean and I loved it. 

Sue x

Trans-America

 I am not quite sure what to say about the US election. A few random thoughts buzzed round my head last night and I dumped them here.

I am not looking forward to having the world's noisiest narcissist dinning his grotesque ego into all our ears and having it amplified to megaphone pitch by the world's media every goddam day until he finally dies. 

The best way to silence a malignant narcissist like Trump is not to point up each and every single lie or abusive remark or crime or fraud and explain its wrongness. That just keeps him and his narrative constantly in the news, not you and yours. Opponents still haven't understood this. To silence a narcissist, a liar and a bully you should turn off the mike. Ignore them. Without the oxygen of publicity they die.

I think a very large part of the rest of the world has begun to have had enough of the USA. Even here in Italy, a US ally where most families have distant relatives across the pond. Just for instance, and only in terms of US soft power, Italy has a growing Slow Food Movement as a direct reaction to American fast food, which is deemed to be degrading. Eating is a daily pleasure and should be savoured, preferably with family, friends or colleagues, not gulped on the hoof. It's why businesses close for three hours in the middle of every working day here. Not so great for profits but the work/life balance can't be bettered. This week I have heard strong complaints about the import of US Hallowe'en consumerism. Even my recent prizes from the supermarket are US icons: Peanuts character dolls ... and they've not been popular (which is why I got given another). People are tiring of the US Kulturkampf. If the USA wants continued influence, it needs to cultivate friendship and co-operation, not appoint a leader who screams abuse and threats.

Soft power

I'm not sure what to advise trans people in the USA. We'll have to wait and see what actually develops. Like immigrants, trans people are now first in the line of fire. I take in refugees BTW. By analogy, the Brexit referendum led to significant abuse against me by former friends as my work involves liaising with Europe. The rise in crime against LGBT people was immediate, too. So I left. Be prepared to move if you feel safer doing so. That said, I note that one openly trans person has been elected to the House. Well done, Sarah McBride. The one terrific advantage the trans community has in dangerous times is that the overwhelming majority of trans people are too nervous to come out as trans and step out in public even when times are normal. So they are out of the line of fire since they are all but invisible. Maybe those trans people who are out and are worried about increased threat need to buddy up more for enhanced safety (although I appreciate that the bigger the group, the more noticeably trans they are). And seek closer support in communities and among allies, of which there will remain plenty.

Humans direct their lives according to narratives. We are story tellers, and story livers. Most people can't cope with bare facts and raw reality. There's no point in trying to reason with irrational or emotional people, no use presenting the real situation to people set on beliefs. Reason is the wrong tool for the job: it breeds shame in believers and so a need to defend and dig in their heels. For some reason, Trump's half-incoherent narrative appeals to a wide range of Americans, even though he himself is an appalling person. But we look at the brutes of history, the Hitlers and Putins and Napoleons and Caesars and it's the same thing. But I've talked about the importance of stupidity and lies before, in the context of transphobia.

Never underestimate the need for hate. A lot of people like to see other people hurt, especially groups they've decided to take their malice out on, not necessarily for any coherent reason. The conclusion of some historians as to why the Turks massacred the Armenians in 1915 is that some people like nothing more than an excuse to kill their neighbours. It's wasn't rational as the Armenians were a bulwark against Russia with whom the Turks were at war but this natural feral animal instinct took precedence. It was similar with the 1994 Rwanda genocide. I recently read Frans de Waal's book on gender with reference to humans and chimps. It left me disconcerted as extreme mass violence is regular human (and chimp) behaviour, a need even. The group you pick on is just the official public excuse. So, yes, some people will have voted Trump not because of economics but because of an instinct that hate would be tolerated and even encouraged. Inciting hate is also a great way for leaders to distract attention from their incompetence, corruption and robbing. My sister who hates LGBT people has been persuaded to do so by her religious leaders, whilst they have been doing dodgy business deals and assaulting children, which she refuses to believe. Trump and his cronies will rob the USA blind, as Johnson and his chums did in the UK during the pandemic, but as long as trans people are being pointed out as the enemy, the public aren't going to concentrate on the theft.

Well, I've dumped what was in my head and I'm going to watch a silly comedy on DVD. I think that's the best coping strategy at the moment. Although I feel galvanised to fight transphobes after yesterday's disturbing news.

Sue x

Don't worry - get trans life endorsement here

 I am grateful for a beautiful new endorsement from Feedspot, which is metasite that ranks blogs by topic. They wrote:

 “Sue Richmond's blog offers a reflective and often poetic journey through the nuances of gender expression and the transgender experience. Balancing personal stories with wider social commentary, the platform discusses identity, self-discovery, and empowerment. Richmond's eloquent writing captures the beauty of authenticity, inviting readers to reflect on their own identities while exploring the complexities of living as one's true self.”

Thank you, Feedspot, that's a very sweet and considered description. It also suggests that someone there is actually reading blogs, rather than getting some bot to do it. 

I have always felt that, no matter how anti-trans or upsetting things can get sometimes or in some places, there is always something positive to being trans, and I try to reflect that here. I often refer to trans persons, both now and in the past, even the ancient past, who have been true to themselves, such as contemporary artists with a trans slant to their work, or historic rulers with gender variance. Whereas current dictatorships are often (though not always) transphobic, not all countries are dictatorships and whilst some periods of history are more transphobic than others, others are trans positive, or at least tolerant. We have options, and my option here is to point out the good stuff over the bad. I come from a horribly and damningly phobic background so perhaps to me nothing outside that background seems quite so bad. 

The US election tomorrow is a source of worry to many, and to trans people in particular, even outside the US. But I'd expect a pro-trans surge in other countries as a reaction to any anti-trans surge there, that is if the phobic candidate wins.

You can link to Feedspot via the rosettes at the end of the lists on the right (which should be lining up with Sally at the bottom of this post). You can also look at some of the fantastic blogs that they list and which I also endorse via the blogroll on the right, such as the inimitable force of energy that is Hannah McKnight, the lovely Franzi from Frankfurt who shows us how to enjoy a day out, Violetta from Innsbruck whose amazing walks in the autumn leaves are truly beautiful, Lynn's wide-ranging and honest YATGB, Isobel's busy life as a transitioning woman, the amusing broad-umbrella Femulate and useful well-written sites like Crossdreamers, T-Central, Gender Variance Who's Who, Heroines of my Life. Thanks also to other bloggers like Mandy, Susie, Lucie, Jonathan and Miss Twist whose contributions to the trans blogosphere just go to show what a huge, varied global community this is and how trans people are everywhere and always have been. 

Thanks to all my readers and for all your comments. 

I will shortly be putting up a new page listing some trans resources but mainly quick links to the posts here that give tips and share know-how on dressing, makeup, perfume and so forth that are clearly very popular with readers.

Sally

I won a prize from my supermarket because I shop there too much and scored lots of points. This season's prizes are Peanuts characters. You could get a Peanuts dog blanket or dog bowl or plush character doll. I don't have a dog, and they don't sell them, so a dolly it had to be. I chose Sally ... because she's got a pink polka dot dress on, just like the strawberry lolita girls that have been living rent-free in my head for the last three weeks. Sigh! This is how it works, girls!

 

I hope she'll get on with Coco Peru and her friend, Little Miss Alien. Coco looks mean but she's got a heart of gold really.

Oh dear, how old am I supposed to be?

Sue x