Smiles and goodies

 In the interests of positive blogging when the world news is less satisfactory, I'd like to acknowledge some acts of kindness by ordinary people in the last few days. And note some fun girl things I brought home from London. 

I went for a walk around the London neighbourhood I used to live in. In the eight years I have been away, some things have changed and some things are the same. I spotted a shopkeeper who is the smiliest, gentlest and happiest person I have ever met and she recognised me through the window of her shop and was as friendly and welcoming as ever; it was almost like I had never been away. It really made my day. If there were more people like her the world would be very beautiful. 

I arrived at an Underground station yesterday to catch the train to the airport laden with over 40 kg of luggage only to find there was no lift or escalator, only a staircase seemingly as infinite as Jacob's Ladder. I boggled at the mountaineering to be done but a fit young man leapt to my rescue and took the heaviest case up for me. I appreciated his thoughtful kindness very much and said so.

At the airport, where the staff are often acerbic and even abusive, I was given good advice and help on check-in and, at security, one young man who had to check my hand baggage was polite, kind and apologetic for the inconvenience in a way I have never known before. Both, incidentally, were British Asian, the sort of people the current crop of nasty political parties and their many followers detest.

At one of my favourite local restaurants in my old neighbourhood - a Nepalese one - the owner said he no longer offered my favourite dish on his official menu but would make it for me anyway. It was probably the best curry I have ever had.

My cis friends were very keen to know how my trans life was going and if I was getting enough support, and were condemnatory of the transphobia that is prevalent in official circles these days. It's good to have allies who step up without being asked.

And lovely Stephanie, despite the stress and inconvenience, took three crowded buses to meet me in defiance of the London Underground strike when normally she would have taken just a single train. 

It takes very little to make people happy, just a kind word or action at the right moment. 

 

Lips, nails, eyes

I've now bought the stock of new nail varnishes I'd intended to before Christmas but didn't buy at the time as I suffered a very badly broken nail that's taken ages to heal (Pampering & replenishing). There are colours that I've never tried before like lilac, blue and black. 

 

And I got some new smart lipsticks as intended. Rimmel's alarm red has always been my go-to everyday item but there are three others from No 7, in red, pink and plum. I also got some new eye shadow.

Yes, I know they sell makeup where I now live but you get used to certain products and brands so since I was in familiar territory I thought I'd take the opportunity.

 

Clothes store

I still have most of my clothes in storage. It's been a while since they fit me! But I rationalised the packing cases with all my fem clothes so they have been reduced from 18 to 16, including my wigs, now down from two crates to one, and my hosiery from three crates to two. Can you really have too many tights? 

I found and brought home some items I'd forgotten I had, like a black skater dress and a silk wrap. I wonder if the dress will look OK! As for the '80s bubblegum pink leggings, I have no idea what to do with those. Still less the legwarmers. How come so many good things got purged in my Age of Denial and not the stuff that was best left behind in the era from which it came?

Wonderfully, I found a whole unopened bottle of one of my very favourite perfumes, Versace's Crystal Noir. This is great as my current bottle was opened so long ago that it's losing its oomph.

I also bought new underwear and, no, you don't get to see it! 

For now my party frocks, LBDs and evening dresses remain packed away until I can squeeze back into them. I'm getting there ... 

Sue x 

A day in the perfume capital of France

 Do you like makeup and perfume? 

That's probably a silly question. Of course you do or you wouldn't be here!

Last week I went to the small hilltop town of Grasse in south-east Provence. It's a pretty place with some nice little shops, and a fine view over the surrounding countryside.

Grasse is also the perfume centre of France where traditional plants such as lavender and rose were grown and transformed into perfume. Nowadays, the perfume industry gets natural fragrances more cheaply from exotic locations or in chemistry labs so although it's still the home of companies like Fragonard, the industry is no longer what it was.

They've set up the International Perfume Museum to record that history and the human use of fragrances and makeup. It's a huge, rambling yet well laid out museum and you need a couple of hours to see the thousands of beautiful artifacts. Of course, they have a lot of perfume making machinery, too, but I confess I'm not much into industrial heritage. I was, however, mesmerised by the thousands of perfume bottles and makeup items, and not just modern ones either but lovely Roman glass bottles and beautiful Greek sculptured and painted earthenware ones. I felt there were a few omissions but the topic of posh pongs is so vast they have to be selective.  

Maybe it's simplest just to post a basic commentary with my favourite photos (click to enlarge) ...

... like this stunning ancient Greek perfume bottle in the shape of a warrior's head that you could hold in your clasped hand and would have contained scented oil.

 

Below, kohl pots and applicators from ancient Egypt (top) and mid-late first millennium Byzantium and Syria (bottom). 

I like to use kohl myself, although I appreciate the modern formula is different from the traditional ones. Lead-free is good! Perhaps the best known kohl wearer was Jezebel in the Bible who painted her eyes with it just before her assassination she knew was coming. This is the sort of pot she'd have had on her dressing table. (Another famous queen whose makeup set was her undoing is mentioned below).

The eighteenth-century has the best artifacts, though. Like this box containing beauty spots and an applicator brush. 

Everything in the eighteenth century was not merely functional but beautifully decorative. Like, below, this lady's beauty kit (top) and gentleman's grooming kit (bottom). Obviously, these items were for the very wealthy, but decoration was deemed an essential part of life. I can't help feeling we've lost a lot now that things are functional but 'design' has replaced decoration.

Below, exquisite perfume bottles (top) and steel and gold grooming kit in a column (bottom).

 

 

 

Early nineteenth-century blusher sets. Not so handy as today's plastic ones which fit in your handbag. But that's why you have a maid!

This one belonging to Hortense de Beauharnais, married to Napoleon's brother Louis, who was King of Holland from 1806-10 until his big brother took the kingdom off him. Napoleon was first married to Hortense's mother, the famous Joséphine. Keep it in the family, eh. 

Perfume bottles from the same era. Just wow!

Pomanders from (left) Austria and (right) India. We don't use these any more but you would carry them and sniff them if you came across any bad smells, like undrained streets, people with the plague ... or the lower castes. 

And now for the thousands of perfumes of the last century in case after case arranged by year (left) or style (right: 1920s spray bottles and modern miniatures). 

 

Just a handful of favourite bottles below. Of course, the designer bottle can be as much part of the allure as the contents. Having worked for one well-known fragrance company, I can tell you that the bottle and packaging can represent more of the cost to the customer than the liquid within. The glass and packaging, although machine made now, is often finished by hand.

I'd not heard of Shocking before, but I like the whole look. It's a very expensive fragrance launched in 1937.

 

Calèche by Hermès, as was. Love the chunky bottle, love the colour. Like dousing yourself in absinthe! 

Below, the upper bottles from the 1920s are shaped like cicadas. I couldn't help thinking of the line from Silence of the Lambs with its symbolic moths, "You use Evyan skin cream, and sometimes you wear L'Air du Temps, but not today." 

Love Guerlain's La Petite Robe Noire (Little Black Dress)

Perfumes from Vietnam in national dress bottles.

Beautiful blackberry shaped bottle and case. Good enough to eat.

Two of the items took me back. One was Brut for Men! Advertised in the UK by boxer Henry Cooper with the slogan in his rough, manly voice, "Splash it all over! It freshens you up and makes you smell nice," in a series of adverts in the 1970s with other sportsmen in changing rooms that all the celebrities involved insisted were totally not homoerotic! Some claim the original formula was a chemical hazard!

 

And girls, there's Charlie too (4th from left), which was always something of the female equivalent.

Brut and Charlie together: like Brotherhood of Man in bottled form!

Anyway, the museum has given a special case to the ultimate classic, Chanel no 5, rendered iconic by Marilyn Monroe and Andy Warhol.

As far as the history of local perfume making goes, I was moved and enthralled by these photos of Grasse perfume workers, the first showing women knee and elbow deep in rose petals in the late nineteenth century, the second sorting flowers in the inter-war years. Can you imagine the heady scent of fresh flowers, the delicate petals between your fingers and those wonderful Victorian dresses or the cute hairstyles of the 1920-30s. I can think of worse factory jobs and workwear than these.

 

The most significant item of historic interest there is Marie Antoinette's travelling case, with tea, coffee and chocolate pots as well as necessities for her hair, face and general toilette.

The item is not just a beautiful and precious product; it was her tragic undoing. They made two of these sets and she was dithering which one to send to her sister whilst preparing to flee France as the monarchy lost control over the pace of reform. This was the second set, not quite complete at the time, hence her dithering over which to use herself and which to give away. A maid became suspicious of the queen's motives for sorting her travelling cases, reported her to the revolutionaries and she and the king were intercepted during their escape. They both lost their heads. There's an alternative history to be considered if Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette had successfully made it out of France. As it was, her vanity was their undoing, and here is the awful if elegant proof.

The museum has a pleasant garden with roses, oranges and other fragrant plants in. 

They also maintain a large working fragrance garden you can visit a few miles down the road at Mouans-Sartoux.

In the basement there are rooms dedicated to temporary exhibitions of modern artists. There was a pleasant enough exhibition of local landscapes in watercolour by Ferdinand Springer.

Here's a link to the museum website in English: MIP

Well, it's a beautiful facility full of stunning stuff and the entry fee of only €6.00 is exceptional value. And, as I said, the little town of Grasse itself is worth visiting, with its quirky cathedral in many styles, its walls and old towers, its shops and cafés and other museums. Here's the view from the top over the countryside that was once largely given over to plants for perfume.

 

More on things to see in this area of the Maritime Alps and the Côte d'Azur in my post this time next week.

Smell you later. 

Sue x 

Positive resolutions and dressathon update

 Happy New Year! I wish you a peaceful, worry-free, happy year ahead. Those are my own aims for 2026 anyway. If the world would just comply, that would be dandy.

Actually, in terms of New Year's resolutions, apart from losing weight, finding the ultimate lover, winning the lottery, yadda yadda, you know the drill, I do intend to keep focusing here on the positives and nice aspects of being transgender. It's not easy being trans; trying to find one's way in a world that, at best, merely tolerates minorities or those with less usual circumstances, but I'm finding ways that work for me. If I share anything that helps even one other trans or LBGT+ person in their living or coping or even flourishing strategy, then this blog serves a purpose. Positive blogging is the new cool in this second quarter of the century. 

Sorry, does the word "cool" show my age? Substitute whatever word da kidz say nowadays, then. (Are they even "da kidz" now? I struggle to keep up!) And talking of nomenclature, Lynn over on YATGB and Jonathan on Male Femme and I are discussing the merits of the term Posiblogging. Could we set up a League of Posibloggers perhaps? Or the Goddesses of the Positive Blog League? As a Posiblog Goddess (or Demigoddess, since I am not full time) let me wish you a divine 2026.

 

Dressmas news

So I decided to spend the traditional 12 days of Christmas wearing dresses rather than my usual casual attire and seeing how much time I could spend with makeup on. I struggle with cosmetics that, like many products, can cause me unsightly and painful skin reactions. 

I wrote about my Dressathon choices over Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day here. December 27th was a lovely day: mild, clear and sunny. I sat out in the sun in the short summer dress that you've seen a hundred times before. Really I should wear leggings with it but my current favourite winter tights are just too comfy, so a lot of leg it is in the photo. Those are my new ankle boots that I'm breaking in as they are quite rigid and need softening up. 

 

My chosen perfume of the day was Sì by Giorgio Armani that, thankfully, was only a sample bottle as, to start with, I thought it made me smell a bit like a cucumber sandwich. The aroma did get better with time and was not unpleasant as the day wore on but I don't think I'll be investing in a full bottle of this. Who says TGirls aren't good enough to eat?

Talking of which, I even enjoyed lunch outdoors in the sun, a classic local dish of pasta strips and pesto sauce that's made with basil, pine nuts, cheese, garlic and olive oil. I treated myself to a tiny bottle of prosecco, too, because it's holiday time and because it's worth celebrating being fully feminine. That left one little bottle for New Year's Eve (see below). 

 

The brand name of the prosecco, incidentally, is Maschio, which means "Male" in Italian. Sorry, guys, no matter how much of this I drink, your masculinising potion is not working! 

After four days in makeup, even with the expensive quality primers, foundation, concealers and blushers from Mac, and my gentle removal products from Avène, my skin was very dry and flaky so I decided to give the makeup a rest for a bit. But I did prove that four days with my face on is now possible, which means I could now manage a good long weekend away at some trans event. This is great news after 10+ years of struggling with this problem. 

So I next got made up on New Year's Eve and watched the annual fireworks display (with that last precious tiny bottle of prosecco - yes, I was rationing it because wine makes me fat and I'm tired of being fat).

My camera is hopeless in the dark, especially with moving light displays, so I have no picture of me sitting outdoors that night. Besides, the temperature plummeted, so I was kitted out with puffer jacket, two fleeces, a slip under my long dress and my long boots, all under a blanket. But here's me when I'd come back indoors to toast us all a Happy New Year. 

 

Still, it was a good New Year display with a light show, then a drone show (which we've never had before) making attractive, colourful, moving representations of local landmarks, events, sports, and a gorgeous red rose to acknowledge our winter flower industry. And then, as midnight struck, there was the civic fireworks display which I always enjoy and which is accompanied by as many bangs and flashes as residents can manage from their own gardens and balconies. Apologies to the startled bat trying to go about its evening business whilst illuminated by flashes from every angle like in Dracula's disco. (More on bats below.)

Yesterday, New Year's Day, was really cold with a keen wind and I kept the same long dress, and even the boots indoors. By evening, I finally had to admit that the time had come to turn on the central heating. So for the first time since last April, the radiators are now operating. And as for my gas company who, in the true spirit of the season of goodwill, sent me a bill on Christmas Eve, it looks like the cigars in your boardroom will be smaller this coming year after the many weeks of savings the mild weather has given me. Have a happy new year, won't you!

However, it looks like it's going to be a uniquely cold week ahead and I was hoping to wear another short cotton dress during my Dressmas but that's very unlikely now. I'll try to stick to my Dressmas plans but my lined ski pants are on standby if need be! (Incidentally, if you like skiing, some of the best snow so far this winter is here in the Ligurian and Maritime Alps.) 

 

Dry January

That was my last glass of prosecco for a while. I'm doing Dry January again this year as leaving alcohol off the menu really helps lose weight more than anything. Perhaps that's a pity as someone - who obviously knows me well - gave me a novelty corkscrew for Christmas. 

 

It's a bat! I love it and it gives me the giggles each time I use it and its batty arms unfurl. Apparently, it was designed during the pandemic when bats were bad news so, in a fine example of making lemonade when life gives you lemons (or wine when there are sour grapes, I suppose), they came up with this. 

 

The party continues

In England where I used to live, my main complaint about winter was not so much the cold and dark and wet, which is no-one's fault, but the fact that between New Year and Easter there are no public holidays and no significant public celebrations or activities. Therefore, you have three or more months of doing nothing but working. How delightfully puritanical! By contrast, here in the hotbed of popery that is the Mediterranean, the gloom of winter is combated by a whole lineup of big events. We have another public holiday next Tuesday, January 6th (Epiphany); then Carnival, the Menton Lemon Festival and the gigantic Sanremo Music Festival in February; the Cycling Season opens here in March with the Flower Festival and Sanremo Pride. There's always something to keep your mind off the shorter, colder days. I'll report back. 

Once again, all the best for 2026.

Sue x 

The 12 Days of Dressmas

 How are you? I hope you had a lovely Christmas and that Santa brought you something nice. 

Given the amount of time off there is at this time of year, and given how long it's been since I spent a lot of daily time and trouble on my hair and makeup, I thought it would be a good opportunity to get properly dolled up for as much of the holidays as possible. This is my first report ...

 

To summarise my 15-year old blog in one paragraph: I started feeling feminine very early in life, about 5-6 years old, started dressing as a girl regularly from about 8-9 years old, tried to suppress and purge in my 20s and then finally acknowledged and embraced the fact I was trans and have dressed as a woman every day for the last 30 years or so. I've considered transition and only ever wear women's clothes now, although I now rarely present as female in public, more a sort of andro figure which, truth be told, is not really me but is a compromise that prevents trouble, be it social or medical. The main block to living as a woman, which I did for much of 2010-14, was a bout of eczema on my face in the mid-2010s that made it impossible to wear makeup or remove facial hair. This check on my development as a trans person has been devastating. I've had to be very cautious since, in case the eczema flares up again. But it's been a while and I wondered if I could live as fully as I would like to for the Christmas season, with my nicest outfits that I rarely wear, full makeup, my boldest jewellery and my hair nice and full and long. 

I'm not sure whether to call this experiment after the carol, The 12 Days of Christmas (My True Love Sent to Me) ... Perhaps it'd be the 12 Days of Missmas, the 12 Babes of Christmas, the 12 Days of Dressmas/Frockmas ... hey, how about the 12 Dames of Dressmas? The 12 Drivels of Misnomer. Whatever, this is me being me for as long as I can and hoping that my skin holds out and there are not too many interruptions from causes other than social visits, shopping and the like.

Christmas Eve

On Christmas Eve, after shopping and deliveries, and exchanging presents with neighbours, I wore my floral shift dress (you've seen it before, notably in London last year), a black cardigan, black semi-opaque tights, and some black high-heeled court shoes. The weather was wet and very windy so I stayed indoors.

Perfume of the day: Forever by Laura Biagiotti.

Christmas Day 

Although still windy, Christmas Day dawned bright and it warmed up nicely to the point when I almost had lunch outdoors. Without the wind I would have done. But the finer weather meant I could wear a light cotton dress (the same as in July) and some 20 denier nude tights with open toed shoes and go out in the sunshine.

It was so sunny at the front that I had to squint or close my eyes. But let's face it, sunlight is blissful ...

 

Or I could go out back where it was shady but very windy so my hair got blown about ... 

 

Back indoors and about to start preparing Christmas dinner ...

 

And relaxing on the sofa out of the wind ...

 

I do like this little dress which I bought last year and it's unusual to get to wear it in winter but it's so mild at the moment.

Perfume of the day: Crystal Noir by Versace.

Boxing Day

I don't know why the 26th is called Boxing Day in Britain. When I was a kid I assumed it was because there was boxing on TV, which my grandfather always enjoyed watching. Somehow men like punching each other's heads, and good luck to them with that. Here in Italy it's called St Stephen's (I mean December 26th is called that, not punching heads). 

It was another sunny day but with much less wind. After a clear night, it was quite cool to start with, hence my choosing a warmer outfit than yesterday, a very old blue wool dress, the same black cardi as on Xmas Eve and my lovely and very comfortable knee-length boots which always go well with this dress. I also got out some party tights, a pretty silver brocade pair, which are very warm. Perhaps a bit more warmth than was needed in the end as the afternoon was almost springlike and I was happy to open all the doors to get plenty of fresh mild air into my home. 

Relaxing on the terrace among the herbs ... 

 

Overlooking the sea. You can either face the sun and squint (see previous day) or turn your back to the sun and be in shadow. I've had to correct the light to show any detail and that's given this shot a picture postcard look. I quite like this one.

 

I'm worried I'm looking old these days but it's not so bad in the right light! My makeup is much lighter than it used to be - a single layer of water-based foundation rather than the oil-based foundation and powder of yore - partly so as not to aggravate my skin, but also because my facial hairs grow more slowly and are no longer black. I guess that's one rare benefit of ageing.

Lazy time on the sofa. All this posing outdoors sure wears a girl out ...

The silver brocade tights were in fashion about 15 years ago and these are one of two pairs I got at the time (these by Gipsy). I think this style deserve revival as a party accessory. Strangely, the manufacturers call the colour "gunmetal" ... and if this is what guns look like these days then our armies must be very pretty! I think they go well with the blue and black of the outfit.

Perfume of the day: Poison by Dior. 

 

I'd genuinely like feedback on my style and above all on my makeup that I feel needs improvement. 

More on this experiment as it happens. Essential shopping and a social visit are on the menu today so if I'm back in a dress it'll only be for the evening. 

 

What did Santa bring?

Did Santa bring you something for your feminine side? I hope so. 

Very occasionally I've received feminine presents from thoughtful friends but I usually have to get myself anything I want in that line. This year I bought a pretty and unique ring at a jewellery stall in the Christmas market in Monaco. It's not exactly what I was looking for but I do love the way the stones seem to be stuck on my finger rather than to a ring. A rather clever effect. I rarely wear green clothing but I do like green stones or glass in my jewellery.

The colours were just right although I'd prefer not to have had a heart shaped element, which reminds me a little of an Irish claddagh ring, which you wear with the heart on the ring pointing out or in depending on whether or not you have a lover or are looking for one. There's a heart-stopping true claddagh Christmas story at the end if you want to read it.

 

Conclusion

More on this dressing experiment as it happens. Back in the early 2010s I would think nothing of being fully femme for a week or more at a stretch. I'm just wondering if I can recapture some of that. On Boxing Day I wore earrings that jangled and it was such an affirmation, as was my hair blowing about my face in the wind - irritating, yes, but so affirming, too. This is how life should have been ... as a woman, where even little annoyances feel right.

Thanks for reading and for your feedback. 

 

Sue's Fireside Tales continued: Christmas claddagh story

When I was a student, various university societies provided food and drink for the Christmas concert. Our quota was 60 mince pies. So the day before the concert we set to rolling, filling and baking. The president of our society was wearing a claddagh ring that had been passed down to her by her Irish grandmother. After several hours of hard work we contentedly contemplated our fresh-baked golden goodies, smelling of spiced fruit and warm pastry. And the pres went to wash her hands and cried out that her precious ring was missing. We now looked at our pies in dismay. Surely her ring hadn't got baked inside one? Would we have to break them all apart till her ring was found? And then redo all our work or turn up to the concert empty-handed? We decided to wait till they cooled before setting about the miserable task. So we started washing up the mixing bowls and utensils. And then, miraculously, in a tiny gobbet of unused pastry in one bowl was the ring. Never had any of us felt so relieved. 

So it turned out well in the end but I've never wanted to make mince pies again, or wear a claddagh ring myself. And also explains some of my hesitation with this ring for Christmas.

Sue xx  

My makeovers and photoshoots

 It's twenty years since I had my first proper makeover and some quality photos done. It was the first time I'd ever worn a wig and had my makeup done professionally. It was a revelation and marked another milestone on my road to authentication. I wrote a description of my time at the Boudoir makeover service here. Instead of repeating those details here I'd like to share more of the photos now that I have got them all together in one place.

I've spent a lot of time downloading the hundreds of photos from my first three makeovers and selecting 37 of them to post here. I confess I got quite emotional in doing this: reminders of an amazing time in life, a lament for lost youth maybe, a feeling that I can be beautiful too ... and knowing that there is nothing more blissful than being your authentic self. No wonder I have a knowing smile.

The photos were taken by Jodie at the Boudoir, who's not a professional photographer and they haven't been doctored, apart from some cropping, because I don't know how! So they are 'as is'. 

As much as possible I've tried to include one close-up, one seated and one standing pose from each look.

The point of going a dressing service was to get advice on doing makeup, seeing what hair would suit my face and what styles of clothing would look best. We homed in on a best look over three sessions, a dozen outfits and several hairstyles and here I explain our approach.

Losing weight between session 1 and sessions 2 and 3 helped a lot. 

For my first session, Jodie dressed me in a black semi-sheer striped shirt with flower details picked out in silver, a berry-coloured knee-length skirt and silver jewellery. The patent stretch boots are my own as are the sheer black glossy tights. Underneath Jodie fitted me with a corset, which was a new experience for me - when you're overweight, as I was here, breathing and bending become challenging with that constriction. 

You can see how nervous I was to start with ...

I did relax a bit as the session progressed, though. 

Jodie explained that a wig can work more than one way. She put the hair up with pins.

 

I'm less convinced by this look, as it happens. 

We took some photos standing up ...

... and sitting down in the famous arched window. How many TGirls have sat here? Only the internet knows!

John Lewis 15 denier run resistant sheer gloss tights win my top prize for best hosiery ever! Sadly, they're no longer made. We will be seeing more of these marvels a bit later. The boots were a very favourite pair but, with much heartache, I had to throw them away earlier this year after a good 25 years service due to faux leather fatigue, a subject I intend to talk (complain) about in another post.

Anyway, armed with my photos and new-found wonder at my transformation, I vowed to return and learn more about makeup, hair, styling and so on. Just after this session in mid-November 2004 I started a relationship with someone who wasn't so keen on the whole trans thing and so my return wasn't until April 2008 after I had broken up with her. But I was a lot slimmer and that opened up greater possibilities, as did longer sessions.

I tried four looks in my second session. The first was a cute pink top and a long black skirt with a very high slit. I wore my own 20-denier black hold-up stockings (M&S) and black court shoes (which might well be the same ones I wore as a silver witch the other week). The corset felt a lot more comfortable this time. The wig was quite a big one, the jewellery a bit more noticeable, and this time I had the time to have my nails done. I loved the colour!

A bit daring, that leg. A bit Sixties bouffant, that wig. Brigitte Bardot, maybe? Well, you can pretend, eh?

The one thing I'm cross about is that instead of waxing down my brows like last time, we tried to grey them out, without success. Well, it's part of the learning process.

Sadly, we took no photos of me standing up in this outfit.

Jodie pointed out that with my petite stature (I'm 5'4" or 163 cm), I'd do well in short skirts because showing off my legs would make me look taller. Does a TGirl need encouragement to wear short skirts? I don't think so! And she was right. And, if I say so myself, I think I have quite nice legs.

Close-up:

And sitting:

I was getting relaxed and confident by now. And we tried a complete change of look with hair that was more shoulder-length, a bright floral top and denim miniskirt. Again, the opaque black tights and the knee-length leather boots are my own. (The tights are the second best in the universe: Falke Seidenglatt 70 denier. I still have them after 25+ years - they are immortal! I also still have the boots - they are ideal for when I'm fatter as they have a cutaway at the calf with chain detail.)

Well, it's OK as a look. What do you think?

I hadn't perfected smiling so I look a bit severe, I think.

I've always loved bob hairstyles so we thought we'd try one. 

 

Quite cute. But bobs are always cute.

And we tried a new outfit of sleeveless sequinned black top, chunky belt and shiny red three-quarter length skirt. The boots haven't changed - knee-high boots are recommended with this skirt length.

Actually, the outfit is a bit weird. That skirt certainly doesn't work with the corsetry poking up under it. And I'm not sure a short bob is right as I have quite a thick neck. Longer hair seems better. My shoulders are not large so the top is not too bad. How about sitting down?

I left enthused but with a lot to consider. I think the second outfit worked best and the advice on shorter skirts was now firmly in my head. Shoulder-length hair is good, too. But those brows need dealing with and maybe the makeup may be a bit too thick.

In some ways I got another dressing session just after this by volunteering to be a model for an artist and she dressed me in her clothes with dramatic makeup. I really enjoyed the modelling sessions but it's just as well the films she took of me never made it to any exhibition as she turned out to be a crook! So that doesn't really count as a makeover and photoshoot since there's no evidence!

Six months later, again in mid-November, I was back for my third and final session with Jodie, this time with fewer nerves and a determination to find the best look for me. There are seven looks, all bolder than before. Well, five looks with one of them simply involving a change of skirt and another a change of footwear, but these changes made a huge difference. And this is the point: it's often just the little adjustments that lead to homing in on what really works.

The short bob in the previous session was cute but not right for me. So we tried a longer one, and lighter too. This was much more of a statement hairpiece.

I find the outfit weird, though - a seethrough pink batwing top that shows my practical and not sexy longline bra, a vast patent leather bow belt, and a denim miniskirt. 

 

Here again are those very perfect John Lewis glossy black tights, and my own gold and black shoes. I brought my own shoes to the sessions as I have very small feet (5½ UK size, 38 European, 7½ US) and most trans dressing service shoes are larger. You can't get 5½ in men's sizes; even a 6 is hard to find so I have actually worn women's shoes most of my adult life even when I have presented as male! 

I suggested changing the skirt to a black one, which I am pretty sure is one of mine which I still have. I think this worked better.

You've seen this photo before. It's by far my most popular one, to judge by stats on Flickr and here. I am honestly not sure why. 

Seated in the famous window ...

... and close-up again. I liked the hair a lot but it does make my face look more angular.

OK, time for a change. The skirt and tights stay but the top is now a leopard print, the belt is chunky and the knee-high boots have a block heel. And the hair as now shoulder-length, wavy with highlights.

Hmm, this is working better than that previous outfit. I liked the previous hair but this is better for my shape of face. And I'm working on my smile. That glossy lipstick helps set it off, too. I like the nail colour Jodie picked for me. And that bust ... that's really working for me, even though it's artificial. The legs are my own, mind.

 

How about close up?

I used this as my profile picture on various sites for years. I really think things are coming together now.

This was only the second look, though, and there was plenty of time for three others. So we went for something brash and bold, a biker chick look. But the hair felt so right I insisted on keeping it.

The soft patent knee-high boots of my first session are back and I've layered Jonathan Aston sweet roses patterned tights over my sheer tights. This is not exactly my normal presentation but the fun of a makeover like this is that you can experiment.

I'm really enjoying myself by this stage. That wig really suits. Better than the dead cat I could otherwise have had! (Not really! That's Spike, Jodie's cat, asleep on the left - more on him another day.)

I know I can't go blonde because my darker brows would give the game away but I asked how light my hair could go. This is the suggestion.

A bit too full, I think. We've changed outfit to a black dance skirt with lots and lots of frills and froth, a gold sleeveless top that leaves my shoulders bare and a black cincher belt that really pushes up my boobs. 

Cute but over the top. Well, why not?

Those boots are fabulous and work with the biker chick but not with this outfit so I put on the black and gold shoes I had at the start of the session and these match the rest of the outfit You could actually go to a 1980s retro prom in this now!

Looking quite cutesy in this pose.

Hi!

I was having such fun by this point. I'd booked five hours at the dressing service and there was time for one more look. Totally different and just for fun to see if it's possible to transform a middle-aged trans woman into a teenager by the power of makeup and clothes alone. This is what teenage girls in 2008 were into: long hair, hair bands, coloured tops, microskirts, footless leggings and ballet flats.

I think we pulled it off.

Happy youngster!

 

Jodie let me try on her own black Ugg boots as we have similar shoe sizes. They were certainly comfortable and warm and very trendy then. But I felt the flats were more the look I wanted as they show that the tights are footless. A number of the items worn here were Jodie's personal items rather than from the general racks so, between the two if us, we mixed and matched to create these looks. 

What a blast! In three sessions, I learnt the rudiments of trans makeup, I learned that short skirts work well on me, and that shoes work better than boots, I found a really good hairstyle (I came back a few days later and bought the leopard girl/biker chick wig). Just what I wanted, and the gain in confidence was amazing. Shortly after, I joined the UK Angels forum at Jodie's suggestion and, after ensuring my makeup bag and skills were up to the job, and with the encouragement and example of other girls, I started going out. A recommended experience for those who need help to get going.

I have had various other makeovers and photoshoots over the years and many sessions with wig stylists. More on those another time. This post is just about how I found my way.

Tomorrow is my official trans birthday. A lot of trans people choose a birthday connected with a major event, such as their GRS. The timing of these sessions at the Boudoir is one reason for mine.

Thanks for reading. I hope this post was fun or inspiring.

Sue x