Blog Award - Q&A fun

The Liebster Blog Award is given bloggers who have less than 200 followers. 

Liebster is a German word meaning sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, pleasant and valued.

It is a casual award to show appreciation for the blogs that you follow and a fun way to be more involved in the blogging community.

The rules…

Create a new blog post similar to this one. Start off by writing 11 random facts about yourself, and then answer 11 questions which were left for you by your nominator. Then you can nominate up to 11 blogs and leave 11 questions for them to answer in return.

Don’t forget to link back to the blog of the owner who nominated you!

And that would be Samantha of Samantha’s Blog. Her blog is a good read, nice and varied, open and honest. Here she is: http://samanthatgirl.blogspot.co.uk/

11 random facts about me:-

1. I still have a bump on the back of my head which I grew just after falling off a pram which I was trying to use as a stepladder, age 3.

2. I was (and I believe that technically I still am) a member of the Airfix Modeller’s Club and still have all my certification and vouchers, and a welcome letter signed by the president, Dick Emery. (He liked models so much he actually married a few.)

3. I like travelling on the London Underground. It’s true, I actually do. Maybe this makes me a Boris Babe (oo-er, missus).

4. I love mushrooms.

5. I never found it strange to play with toy soldiers whilst wearing a dress.

6. I never eat pudding unless it has chocolate in it.

7. My favourite colours are grass green and cerise. But they don’t go together.

8. My favourite form of entertainment is live theatre of all kinds.

9. In 1985 I bought myself the cheapest electric kettle in the Argos catalogue. It has been making my tea every day since.

10. I still have no idea what algebra is all about.

11. Despite having first been aired 30 years ago, this sketch still cracks me up every time I see it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iS2N1mBsEdM

Samantha’s questions and my answers:-

1.  What are your Religious beliefs? Are you Spiritual or Atheist?

            Convinced atheist.

2.  Favourite Cartoon growing up?

            This is the hardest question here. So many great cartoons. My tastes developed as I grew so I guess I’d go for Mary, Mungo & Midge, Wacky Races and progress to Dangermouse. You said cartoon, not animation (in which case, how about the Clangers, Camberwick Green, the Herbs, and Morph)

3.  What trait(s) do you deplore in other people?

            Rage, shouting, domineering and aggression. Save them for the sports pitch.

4.  What was your favourite subject at school?

            Believe it or not (in the light of the answer to 1), Scripture. OK, so things went wrong.

5.  Astrology... Load of Horseshit or perfectly believable?

            I’m an astronomer (albeit an amateur one), so astrology makes me cringe. But, to be fair, astrology was mainstream science once. It would be great, though, if we could really plan daily life according to the motions of the planets.

6.  What sort of traffic warden would you be?

            I’d make a terrible traffic warden as I’d be way too compassionate. Besides,  those polyester khaki uniforms some councils supply now – no way! This girl has standards!

7.  Every xmas people always seem to say "You're difficult to buy presents for" and your left thinking 'Eh? You could have bought me this or that'...

    What xmas present would you buy yourself every year because nobody else ever buys it for you?

            I actually do buy myself two presents each year that no-one else buys me. One to appeal to my feminine side, and one to appeal to my boyhood side that I can’t quite shake off. The feminine gift is always fancy hosiery, the boy gift is usually a book about London’s transport history.

8.  What is the funniest thing that has happened in your job?

            Caption competitions: we used to cut dull photos of staff doing worthy things out of the in-house mag, paste them on a sheet of paper and circulate them for people to write captions to. Some were hysterical, and much better reading than the mag itself.

9.  What is the best internet enabled 'SmartTV' around at the moment?

            Err … I guess TV here stands for Television not Transvestite. Apart from that, I’ve no idea what the question means. It’s something modern. Now pass me that chisel, I must continue with the Pharaoh’s blog inscription.

10. Have you ever cheated death or serious accident?

            Yes. When I was 5 I ran across a road in Italy. A van driver did the world’s most award-winning emergency stop. The burnt rubber on the tarmac was there for ages after, and it was constantly pointed out to me as an admonition. A few days after my non-death we happened to encounter the driver, a local baker, in a car park. He ruffled my hair and said he was glad I was OK, though he’d been pretty shaken. Guess Italians aren’t all bad drivers!

11. Hypothetical scenario: How long would you let this go on?....

An anonymous billionaire is privately funding this.

You will never meet them. They are not filming or recording any aspect of this; they simply enjoy knowing they have this kind of power.

Each day you are woken up by a man peeing on you. This man has been hired by the billionaire to pee on you. They are regularly checked by doctors to make sure they are healthy and infection-free. Regardless, urine is sterile. Stinky, but harmless.

As soon as the pee hits your face (and oh yes, he'll aim for the face) you can jump out of bed and go to the shower. While you are showering the man who pees on you will switch your mattress, put on new sheets and leave £300 in cash on your dining room table.

The above situation will happen every single day for the rest of your life until one evening you decide you do not want to be peed on the next morning and cancel. Then it can never start again. Ever.

A few conditions:

-You may have as much or as little interaction with the man who pees as you want

-The man who pees will act as an alarm clock/wake-up call. You can tell him to begin peeing at 6:30am and that's exactly when he will start.

-If you share the bed with someone he will be aiming for you. Spashback onto the sleeping partner is a possibility.

-If you go on vacation he travels as well. He will typically stay in the hotel room next to yours.

The question is: How long would you let this go on?

            Samantha, you do worry me sometimes!

            Well, let’s turn this question around. In order to earn £300 a day (£110,000 a year, though arguably taxable) and have someone else make the bed, all I have to do is get peed on. Since on many days in my life I’ve had a far worse time and earned a hell of a lot less, I’d go with it. Get up late, spend £300 very enjoyably through the rest of the day – beauty salon, lunch in a smart restaurant with a girlfriend (salade de pis-en-lit?), theatre … – then come home to a crisp, newly made bed. Thanks, Billionaire! Although I know my friends would take the piss, I’d say your canny wee scheme gives new meaning to the term ‘executive jet’.

Here are my 11 questions to 11 other bloggers:-

1. What does the number 11 mean to you?

2. Look up at the moon. What do you think of?

3. What’s your favourite kind of holiday: beach, city break, skiing, adventure … or what?

4. What’s your possession which carries the most sentiment for you?

5. What sort of cheese do you like best and do you like to eat it with anything? (If you don’t like cheese, feel free to condemn it here)

6. Must bra and panties always match?

7. What’s the thing you like most in other people?

8. What’s your favourite tipple? (No, I’m not buying, just curious.)

9. Why does Superman wear his underpants outside his trousers?

10. Which TV programme had the most influence on you as a kid?

11. Congratulations, it was a tough selection procedure but you have been appointed captain of Trans World Spacelines’ first mission beyond the bounds of Earth. Your spaceship is ready; all life support systems, hyperdrives, suspended animation pods, defence shields, engines, computers, etc are state-of-the-art and can take you anywhere; your crew, some of whom are listed below, are fit and drilled (and proud to wear those fabulous uniforms you designed); the ground staff and mission controllers are in position; and the people of the World are excitedly pressing their noses to their TV screens awaiting the launch. The choice of destination is yours, Captain. Where will you fly to, and why?

So my 11 bloggers of choice ("Blake's 11") are …

Emma “Sarah Jane” Walkey http://moreearththansea.blogspot.co.uk/

Lizzie “Leia” Byrne http://elizabethbyrne.blogspot.co.uk/ [NB discontinued]

Becca “Trinity” Pink http://rebeccas-introspective.blogspot.co.uk/

Grace “Trillian” Johnstone http://stateof-grace.blogspot.co.uk/

Tina “Scully” Scott http://tinastparty.blogspot.co.uk/

Kay Denise “Uhura” Green http://kaydenisepublicblog.blogspot.co.uk/

Diana “Ripley” Richards http://dianasreflection.blogspot.co.uk/

Kara “Starbuck” Rowe http://karalouise.wordpress.com/

Bobby “Cassiopeia” Sox http://bobbysox1965.blogspot.co.uk/

Lucie “Padme Amidala” http://lucys-wittering.blogspot.co.uk/

Ann “Barbarella” Drogyny http://transfastic.blogspot.co.uk/

And anyone else feel free to join in.

Sue x

Another week in the life ...

Well, last month's posts here seemed to generate huge interest, especially the Our Different Journey answers. In fact, I've just now reached 10,000 hits on this blog (as the insistent stats inform me when I log on). The Our Different Journey site now has several more stories, which are fascinating. I'm sure most other TGirls will enjoy reading the contributions and any non-trans person will be enlightened. Lynn, Bobby and Stella are good friends of mine so I feel I know them better now, but Caroline and Becca are very interesting. Here's the link again.

http://ourdifferentjourney.wordpress.com/ [NB Site no longer active]

This week has been a mix of stuff. Work, of course, punctuated by a day off on Tuesday to go shopping (at last) and meet up with Susan Sometimes, a TGirl of eminent good sense and taste. I bought a stretchy black skirt, some floral print leggings, a pair of black court shoes and a sexy pair of seamed tights to go with my burlesque outfit. Jonathan Aston are always the best range for eye-catching hosiery.

Later in the week someone who likes to crossdress as a woman but has few resources or experience came over. I think my new friend was very happy with the outfit, although lessons in makeup and how to walk in heels will have to be dealt with another time. And by the way, don't put a woman's wig on a man in drag without makeup or he ends up looking like a superannuated '70s rocker!

But a big family reunion today meant that all my lovely red nail polish had to come off and I had to check carefully that no signs of femininity were left and be a bloke. I won't go into why I can't come out to them about my being trans, but the results of my doing so would be disastrous. Oh well, it's a rare event so I can tolerate it every so often.

And so life goes on in this kind of way here ...

Sue x

I have felt a disturbance in the Force ...

You know, I write this blog partly as a diversion, partly as a record, partly because it's the done thing, partly to entertain, but often just to show other TGirls that there's a world out there waiting to be discovered as your feminine self. But since putting up the answers to the Our Different Journey questionnaire two weeks ago the number of hits on this blog has gone through the roof.

Now, I was going to give you exciting news about the 150th anniversary of the London Underground with some Top Tips for the Tube-Travelling TGirl, and some grumbles about how the winter sales just aren't what they used to be. In fact, I was quite honestly about to change the title of this whole blog to Sue's News and Reviews since, frankly, I review a lot of things and sharing views is (so I thought) a bit dull and I've never really done so.

But I've had quite a number of queries on religious matters so I may post something about that soon, and provide some more detail about growing up transgendered, which is something so many of us do alone. Or did alone before the internet came along. I guess my girlhood was a mix of sadness, excitement, fear, puzzlement and amusement.

So, I'll be putting up something more cerebral soon.

In the meantime, I just wanted to say how fascinating I found Petra Bellejambes' and Justine Time's accounts were on the Our Different Journey site. I know Justine personally and I feel I've got to know her a bit better as a result. I'd like to encourage others to write about their experiences. Especially you, Lynn, who put us all up to this.

http://ourdifferentjourney.wordpress.com/ [NB Site no longer active]

Sue x

Our Different Journey

A little while ago, Lynn Jones invited me to participate in her “meme-tag” based on the "Our Different Journey" site’s portrait of transgendered lives. Here’s the link to that site.

http://ourdifferentjourney.wordpress.com/ [Site no longer active]

and the link to Lynn’s blog post about her meme-tag and answers to the questions

https://yatgb.co.uk/2012/11/im-on-mission-in-destination-unknown.html

As it happens, answering the questionnaire was not difficult as I was able to cut and paste largely unaltered from the biography page of a personal website I had hoped to set up a while back but which is still with my web designer friend (who either owes me a website or lunch in lieu!)

So here are the questions and my answers. They could be tweaked for ever but let’s run with these for now.

AWARENESS: When did you first feel trans? How did it make you feel? Did you embrace or run from it?

My story will be familiar to many trans people as it follows a well-documented pattern. I first wanted to be treated as a girl (admittedly just an honorary one in my mind) at a very early age, probably from about 5 or 6 years old. I would often dream of a kindly woman, known or fictitious, who would invite me to select suitable girl’s clothes from her wardrobe and, having dressed me, would invite me to join her in her plans for the rest of the day, however mundane they were.

It wasn’t until two or three years later that I first realised that I didn’t just have to think about being treated as a girl but that I could come a little closer to being one by dressing as one. I distinctly remember putting on a sister’s red skirt and blue woollen tights the first time I tried crossdressing. It felt strange, yet wonderful and somehow right. Dressing as a girl became an activity so regular throughout my childhood that it almost became second nature but, like so many other trans people, I was sometimes told (and it was generally understood) that it was wrong, so I kept it secret. My stashes of girl’s clothes were discovered on more than one occasion, though no direct accusations were ever made. I became adept at hiding stuff in very unusual places around the house.

Naturally, I tried on my mother’s and sisters’ clothes but, from about the age of 11, I began to buy my own, starting with simple pocket-money items like sheer tights, and would ‘rescue’ old items destined for reinvention as dusters or cushion stuffing.

ADOLESCENT COPING: How did you cope with growing up? What about puberty? How was school, or teenage life?

OK, so boyhood wasn’t so bad. Toy cars, soldiers, football, space stuff … it was all good. But I liked the idea of playing with dolls and skipping ropes, too, and often did in secret. I just wished there’d been a Barbie or a Cindy in the house that you could dress in pretty clothes rather than the masses of plastic babies that my sisters kept being given. But when out with my boyhood friends, I’d frequently dress in knickers and tights under my trousers. I was so tempted to dress like that at school, but I realised that, when you are sent to an all-boy school, there are certain things that will get you killed, and being discovered with girly kit on was definitely one of them.

And so I grew up a transvestite – I think I first came across the word when I was about 12. It had a certain grown-up frisson. I loved being a transvestite, loved how I looked, loved how the clothes felt on my body, and loved how I felt more like a girl. Between the ages of about 6 and 12 most children regard the opposite sex with suspicion and contempt. So I had to pretend I did too, but secretly admiring the life of the girls around me and wanting to be part of it.

Generally speaking, I perceived adolescence at the time as not too bad (though with hindsight I realise that my upbringing was unconventional and repressive). I survived without too many apparent scars, but without huge enthusiasm either. And being trans had to be a total secret. Whoever said that childhood represents the best years of your life is talking nonsense; being an adult is much better as you have more choices, more freedom, more money and more control over your destiny.

Religion was important in the house I grew up in. And, as far as transness goes, the god that they told me about wanted only boys or girls and anyone that had pretensions to be the opposite of that appointed, or neither one nor the other, was so abominable that hideous punishments awaited those who did not conform to the dictated norm. I spent my teens and 20s trying to justify who I felt I was to this brutal deity who was evidently wracked with hatred for his creation. I tried thinking that some kinds of behaviours and some kinds of clothes might fall below the god’s Damnation Radar. “Surely the Scots proudly wear kilts?” I said to Him (definitely a him). “Look at King Louis XIV in this history textbook of mine. He’s got high-heeled shoes on. And those acrobats at the circus were definitely wearing tights. A pleated skirt, a pair of tights and a nice pair of heels is near enough to the costume of any Franco-Scottish king who lives in a circus, surely?”

Nothing doing. Guilt wracked me all the time, as did fear of discovery and punishment.

EARLY LIFE/ UNIVERSITY / COLLEGE: Having grown up - at least physically, how was life? Did you fit in or fall out? Did you stay home, work away or go to University, college or work?

University was great, but the religion was there very strongly, only it was now becoming clear that the version I had been brought up with was at odds with the mainstream and so it was a struggle to be myself and please the deity, a sort of Orwellian Big Brother. Like many in their late teens and twenties I purged my stuff, i.e. got rid of all those clothes I had accumulated, and lived like the man I was required to be. But relapses into femininity and crossdressing were frequent and the god would thunder angrily. I once managed whole year without dressing as a woman and consciously banished all thoughts and desires of being a woman whenever they arose. It was the hardest thing I have ever done.

But I managed in the end to work through the theology of this awful religion that hated me and cast it off altogether. I was 29.

CAREER: What you do and how you think it has shaped you (for better or worse). Is there something you long to do?

I started a career in the public sector. Initially with enthusiasm, but then things started to go wrong not long after I had dumped my religion and embraced my transness in private. Workplace bullying, corruption and physical injury kept me busy with the help of the union and lawyers. After nearly 18 years, because of cutbacks, I was made an offer I couldn’t refuse and left with sufficient funds to take time out to study successfully for professional qualifications and accreditation, write a book, take on a new part-time and wonderful little job in a shop, and now I work primarily for myself. It also means that I live how I like, mainly as a woman. I have had the opportunity to try some periods of “real life experience” to see if living as a woman full-time is a good course of action. The future looks a contented one, at last.

RELATIONSHIPS: Single, married, long term relationship, divorced, happy to be single? How is family life?

I am currently single and OK with it as it has its advantages, but I have had two delightful if ultimately unsuccessful relationships (with women). I like being one of a couple and am quietly looking to find another partner, hopefully for good. My partner would have to be very OK with my being trans, which has been a sticking point in the past with girlfriends. So it’s limiting.

Sadly, I have had to make a conscious decision not to have children for a number of reasons – a painful decision, but one has sometimes to realise that some bad things may be for the best.

COMING OUT: Have you? Would you? If so, how was it? If not, why not?

Yes, it’s been a gentle, gradual process. I’m not one to rush major things.

I started by going to a dressing service (the Boudoir) in 2004. After a hiatus caused by being in a relationship, I returned there in 2008, twice, and made real progress on my look and understanding of hair, makeup and other things. In 2009 I first went out dressed with women’s outer garments on, though presenting as male – just jeans or leggings, sweater and flat shoes, though it did raise some comments. In January 2010 I had my first ever night out fully en femme and from that summer started going out from home, outings which soon became frequent. Towards the end of that year I started carefully telling all my closest and oldest friends, one at a time.

My long-term close friends, with a couple of exceptions, now know me as both male and female and have been very supportive and encouraging, even enthusiastic. Several have been out with me in female mode and have met several of my trans friends. This is fantastically positive and I am happy and thankful to have so many wonderful people in my life. I have also made dozens of friends in the trans community, who delight me.

THE WAY FORWARD: What’s next for you? What are your hopes - trans, or otherwise?

Carry on as at present. I think I’ve found a good balance. And I’m finding much happiness, at last. I won’t be going full-time female for a while (it was good to have extended periods to see how I felt about it) and have decided to keep my male name, at least for a time, and enjoy a few aspects of maleness that I find OK. But I have dressed at some point during every single day for over 16 years now and I can appear femme most of the time, pretty much whenever I want. The lack of tension over my femininity now is the best thing about my current situation. Let’s try to keep that.

Let’s just make it clear, though. I haven’t been lucky. I’ve actually worked damned hard to create a situation that works for me.

WORDS OF WISDOM: Anything you’d like to share to a younger you or to other trans people?

If I had my life over again I would wish it was all different. And not trans, just plain male or female.

I wish that I had known earlier how to question the absolutism in which I was brought up.

My philosophy of life now is Epicurean: avoid needless pain, seek what gives you lasting satisfaction, think things through, don’t let gods or ideologies interfere in your life, don’t worry about the fact you’ll die one day.

To other trans people I would say:-

- You are not alone. In fact, there’s a lot of us. The variety is immense, but your kind is found somewhere within that variety.

- Although you may stop expressing your gender difference, even for years, it will never go away, it will return; be prepared for that.

- Although you may get episodes when your hormones or thoughts go mad and you feel you must live as your chosen gender or explode, try to hold it, try to approach things and people rationally. The fiercer episodes pass. It’s like the ebb and flow of the tide.

- The world is generally tolerant and accepting, or else indifferent; only a very few people are nasty and bigoted. Some trans people are bigoted also.

- No one can convince you that going out dressed is generally safe, fun and acceptable; you have to overcome your fears for yourself. When you have pushed your comfort zone, you won’t believe what you are capable of.

- Smile. It shows people that you aren’t a threat and that you’re confident and maybe someone worth getting to know.

- There are lots of ways of living a trans life. No one way is better or more right than another.

Finally, Lynn suggests we each nominate seven other bloggers to take up the challenge. So I’d like to invite:-

Tina (of Tina’s T-party) http://tinastparty.blogspot.co.uk/, 

Grace (State of Grace) http://stateof-grace.blogspot.co.uk/, 

Em Vicky (In Transition) http://the-not-so-secret-life-of-emma.blogspot.co.uk/, 

Emma W (More Earth than Sea) http://moreearththansea.blogspot.co.uk/, 

Bobby (Things) http://bobbysox1965.blogspot.co.uk/, 

Lizzie (Liz Indoors) http://elizabethbyrne.blogspot.co.uk/ [Update 28/3/25: Site no longer available] and 

Becca (Mutterings of a half-baked life) http://rebeccas-introspective.blogspot.co.uk/. 

That doesn’t mean that anyone else shouldn’t play if they want to. And you ladies above are, of course, under no pressure to accept.

A recent photo for the site? How about this? I think I scrub up OK, and the smile these days is genuine.

Sue x