On the trail of the authentic French maid ...

 I’ve just spent a few days in France and I came across a couple of French maids. 

One was alive and well and cleaned my hotel room. The other was a dummy in a museum. Neither was wearing the classic French Maid outfit so beloved of TGirls, hen parties and the like. 

Live maid was very slim and wore a sensible top and leggings. It’s what I wear at home for cleaning, too, though I envied her slim frame. 

(That, Sue, is because she does hard physical work all day, and isn't slouched over the computer stuffing her gob with chocolates.) …Sorry, the voice of my Inner Valkyrie interjecting there.

As for dummy maid, well, here she is. 

None of that black minidress stuff. So I don’t know where the modern concept of the French maid came from.

This was in the local museum in Fréjus in Provence, which had a lot of other nineteenth-century female outfits, which I am happy to copy here since I know it sets some readers' hearts a-flutter. Here in Provence a lace cap and lace shawl were essential, though. I like lace myself (see final pic).

Fréjus was very interesting as it used to be a Roman naval base. Despite the huge number of Roman remains scattered everywhere, from harbour walls with a complete lighthouse to monumental gateways, theatre, amphitheatre, aqueduct, and a fort that was so solid it was used again as such in World War II, the town makes very little of it all. There’s scope for a Roman theme park here, especially as it’s where Cleopatra’s fleet was moored after the Romans had captured it. Throw in Astérix, too, if you like!

Roman harbour wall with lighthouse

Aqueduct in a local park

           

Roman tower that's now a block of flats

 

The quays at the new marina are named after the commanders of that war: Cleopatra, Antony, Agrippa … and there are some modern sculptures celebrating the Pelagos Whale Sanctuary, which covers a large section of the Northern Mediterranean. The whales like it here as the water is somewhat cooler than the rest of the Med, which must surely be a consideration if you have to go around with a blubber overcoat. 

For British readers, this is where Agricola, one-time Roman governor of Britain was born.

On a strangely related note, supermarkets in the Med usually have an out-of-the-way rack with “weird” foreign foods like baked beans, soy sauce, maple syrup, tacos and the like, but here at the Intermarché all this stuff, from ramen noodles to pickled gherkins, is labelled “Anglo-Saxon products”.

That made me laugh. Doubtless, Agricola would have approved. Barbarians are all much the same, right? 

Although the nearby Cannes Film Festival has opened with two films on love between women, La Vie d’une femme and Nagi Notes, I didn’t spot any LGBT history in Fréjus, despite having my regular travelling companions, Luggy the LGBT Crab and Lizzy the Lesbian Lobster, to sniff these things out. But here’s Luggy at the Roman arena, ready to take on the gladiators.

There were plenty of hybrid medieval critters painted in the rafters of the cathedral cloister, though. Being neither one thing nor another is a bit similar to being trans sometimes.

And I did have a nice moment when I stopped for a shop owner on the pavement who was taking photos of two prettily dressed models in the doorway of her boutique. “Merci, madame,” she said to me. Despite my having no fem hair and makeup, something made her recognise my status. No, don’t apologise, I’m happy with “madame”.



The food blog

This being France, I wanted to make it a bit of a gastronomic trip, too, and treat myself to some really good food even if it stretched my budget. 

The local cuisine is both meat and fish based, with plenty of fresh vegetables. The best restaurant was L’Amandier where I had a lovely smoked trout and goat’s cheese starter, slow-braised chicken breast, basil gravy and spring vegetables that was amazing, and a banana sorbet with chocolate tart to finish. I had no idea you could sorbet a banana but evidently you can. I must experiment. Nice local white wine, too, and pleasant, unhurried service. Incidentally, the lady in charge had the most beautiful, multicoloured, pleated, floaty, three-quarter length skirt and I really want one like it. 

Autres Ray’son is another specialist in local recipes. A friendly place where I enjoyed a good fresh salad with ham, some grilled fish (not so keen on the garlic rice, though), and a fabulous ice-cream sundae. Also nice was Brasserie Hermès in the pretty main square where I enjoyed the day’s special of pork terrine with crunchy bread, followed by a good veal escalope with mushrooms, and a perfect chocolate mousse. Efficient, friendly service there, too. And a nice location near the mini cathedral, town hall and fountain:

There are few ethnic restaurants in Italy so I take advantage when I go to France. Le Mahana’s Polynesian fried chicken in sauce with an exotic salad was delicious. Great cocktails there, too. 

Vietnamese cuisine is one of my favourites and Viet d’Azur had some nice nems (like spring rolls), and an excellent noodle dish with pork and mixed veg. As for the shredded iced coconut, that was special. Give me coconut and I’m your friend for life! 

By the way, although I rarely drink beer, the relaxed Old School pub by the harbour has an excellent selection of Belgian beers and I enjoyed my favourite beer there, Kwak ambrée. Here’s an old photo from 2018 with a Kwak ... and Provence-appropriate lace. Cheers!

Anyway, I’m home now and back to my favourite hobbies of trying new nail varnishes and testing perfumes. More on that another day …

Sue x

Wiggy thoughts

 Hair is massively important. Sure, it protects the head from the sun, but socially it indicates so much. "I am a woman" or "I am a man" is usually the first item on the hair agenda.

The issue of hair is especially important to us trans women, MtF crossdressers, etc. I came to a realisation recently: that all but two of the many trans women I know who have transitioned had their own hair, not wigs. It has to be a serious consideration that if you transition with little or no hair you will (almost certainly) be wearing a wig every day for the rest of your life, and that's a huge outlay over time. Maybe I just happen to know hairy transitioners so it's just coincidence ... or maybe not.

I really need new hair. By which I mean new wigs. Real hair would be nice but nature forbids. Or rather, nature has given me lots of hair but only where it's no use, rather than on top where it would be ideal. Maybe it's possible to make a wig out of excess bottom hair. The downside is that it might keep blowing off! (An old joke, probably from some student mag.)

Sigh. If only nature would co-operate. But then nature could really do with giving me a whole body morph, in which case the hair is just a detail.

I have some wigs that somehow keep working despite being very old. But I must make an appointment with a wig specialist soon to get new ones and look into new styles as I think I need to start considering looks for older ladies. 

My go-to style that I think suits me very very well is the Noriko "Carrie" range, especially in colours like cappuccino and coffee latte. (I no longer drink coffee but evidently my hair loves it!) I like its length, its body and the easy-going flicks and curls that can be rearranged, though it's sometimes hard to keep everything in place, especially if there's a bit of wind. Yes, I do sometimes add a little spray, but too much of that and you eventually end up with a rigid helmet of hair that takes ages to wash, plump and restyle.

 

A photo of the latte one in action:

And a more recent one: 

 

Tidier cappuccino:

I have bought some cheap wigs over the years purely to experiment with new styles. There's no point buying something costly to start with that then doesn't work so well. I appreciate opinions on this blog, but they've tended to come back negative on these looks so far. I do actually like the silver style I play at witches with and maybe transforming into a silver-haired older lady might be on the cards?

 

Obviously, this is a cheap joke shop wig that sheds nylon everywhere and is probably too long but the colour might work in real life, and I like the bangs, too. It certainly would catch attention. As ever, readers' opinions invited.

 

Sadly, Noriko doesn't have physical outlets in Italy so I hope to visit a specialist when I am next in London in July. I used to visit Trendco in Kensington a lot when I lived in England and I really valued their honest advice and unhurried assistance. They now seem to be the London Hair Clinic behind Oxford Street so I'll try them for new advice and fitting. I notice they have my usual styles and colours in stock. 

 

Trips 

I'm trying to have a few days away every month this year, to make up for last year's cancellations due to care duties, and because I'm finding my explorations are proving fascinating. Next week I'll be in Provence again as I loved my trip there in February. This time I'll be in Fréjus. The location caught my eye in the travel guide as it was a Roman port where Cleopatra's fleet was moored after the Romans had captured it. 

 

I hope it'll provide some interesting material, preferably trans or at least LGBT related. One of the local products is asses' milk soap and Cleo is famously said to have bathed in it, so there's that on my shopping list...

Anyway, here's some entertainment for your weekend with the original trailer for Carry on Cleo. Watch out for her poisonous asp! :-D 

 

Sue x 

Colours of spring

 It's been six months since I had a perfect set of nails. I really wrecked my right index finger last autumn. And I mean wrecked: I've never had such damage so as to bleed and have to bandage it for several weeks. And my right thumb keeps breaking and getting caught on things. I'm not sure what this spate of bad luck is all about. Anyway, last week I bought lots of new nail varnishes in colours I've never tried before, so I'm starting to give them a go and see how I feel about them.

First up: lilac. Or Rimmels' "Lovey Dovey".

 

Quite pretty, and it would go well with some items I've got, like this tunic top. 

 

I'll try out the other colours one by one.

 

Beautiful Sussex 

I got back from my trip to England safely and it was such a success that I've booked another trip there in July. Two weekends ago I went to stay with a friend and former colleague (she was my mentor in an office job once). She retired ages ago and is now 80 but you would never guess to see her aliveness and I wanted to see her before she moves North to be closer to her son.

It was a beautiful spring weekend in the Sussex Weald, the classic rolling landscape of Southern England. She has a very pretty garden full of songbirds, woodpeckers, nuthatches and more. We went to the historic garden of Sheffield Park which was vibrant in the spring sunshine. The background photo on my blog was taken at nearby Painshill Park, also designed in the 18th century by Capability Brown and both are classic English landscape gardens that look natural but are wholly artificial. I'm not sure my nail polish can match some of these colours...

Coot nest with four chicks

Five Canada goslings. They're sweet at this age. Then they grow up and become a pest!

 

David Attenborough

Many happy returns to Sir David "Whispering Dave" Attenborough on his 100th birthday. 

Known all over the world as an excellent broadcaster he is also an approachable, personable man. He lived close to my primary school and came and told us about animals one day. He could often be seen strolling to the shops locally in the same bush jacket he wore on his jungle escapades. Altogether a nice, genuine man and it's great to hear he is in good health at such an impressive age.

I'm not sure my pictures of water bird chicks above will win any wildlife photography prizes, but treat them as a birthday card from an appreciative viewer.

Sue x 

Pink Punters: a tribute

 I am very sad to hear that fire has destroyed the Pink Punters night club in England. 

Like many, I benefited very much from the security afforded by a dedicated LGBT venue when I was a nervous debutante. The owner has indicated he will rebuild and I wish him every good fortune in that. 

Firstly, a tribute to the staff, who have also received praise from the fire service, for evacuating everyone without fuss or injuries (it's a big place spread over three floors and a yard and holds up to 650 people). At a time when one of the chief items of news where I now live is the inquiry into the New Year's Eve fire at a not dissimilar venue at Crans-Montana in Switzerland, where 41 young people died and 115 were injured, not enough thanks and attention is given to people who do things right in these circumstances. Owner Frank McMahon deserves praise for ensuring his staff were properly trained and safety procedures operated correctly. I believe Frank lost his home as well as his business in the blaze. All my love and sympathy to him and the staff for the effects on their livelihoods and for the trauma suffered. Also the distress no doubt suffered by the person arrested on suspicion of arson who has now been released. And the patrons there at the time. The human costs of these tragedies is underestimated.

In the first instance, when LGBT people, and especially trans people, are under open attack from UK authorities, the media and hate groups, it was hard not to attribute malice to the fire. But arson has been ruled out by the police and fire brigade and the blaze is deemed to have been accidental. It does follow a spate of smaller fires at the venue. 

It takes a long time to recover from tragedies like this and I have sent PPs thanks for past times and such hope for their future as I can offer.

Pink Punters was a local institution and many straight and cis people in the Milton Keynes area went there in preference to clubs elsewhere in a city that is often criticised for its poor nightlife because they found it safe, well run and more fun. I recall one evening when my friends and I went on a non-trans night and it was full of local clubbers with us TGirls as a minority. That's good, actually, as I look forward to a day when the term "trans-friendly" is redundant and everyone can feel welcome and at home anywhere.

So thank you, Pink Punters, for being the venue where I had my very first evening out in public and attended my very first event as Sue, in January 2010. The friends I met on that occasion are still good friends. The fact that UK Angels chose PPs as the venue for a national meet-up on their tenth anniversary that day is a tribute to the place. I revisited several times and eventually was privileged to be able to accompany other girls there on their first outings. Like Leeds First Friday, Nottingham Invasion, Sparkle and the like, Pink Punters has been a significant focus for the UK's trans community, and the colourful Pink Punters double decker bus is frequently seen at Pride parades and other events (see below). I wish PPs well in its expressed desire to rise from the ashes, like the brilliantly coloured phoenix bird of legend. 

You can send messages of support to PPs via their message form Pink Punters messages, via PPs' Facebook or Instagram pages, or through local LGBT charities. 

I have only a few photos immediately to hand from the days when Pink Punters was a regular venue for me, in the years 2010-2013, but here are some of those I can muster at present: 

PP's official photo of Ange and me, May 2010

With a bunch of girls including Emma W, Mandy, Tina, Helen ... Feb 2011

With Maddy in the yard, Dec 2012

With Tiff and Ange, upstairs lounge, Oct 2010

With Emma W and Mandy upstairs, Feb 2011

On the main dancefloor. There's another dancefloor deep down in the depths of the dark basement for weird types who like to thrash around to louder noise.

Not playing pool. May 2010

Upstairs, Feb 2011 

Upstairs, Oct 2010

With Tiff, Ange and Gayna in the Yard, May 2010

With Emma H, Gina, Tiff, Maddy and Bobby, Dec 2012

Waiting to go in ...

... and returning to the hotel opposite the club.

The Pink Punters bus at Sparkle 2010 (with Emma doing her thing on stage).

Most of my visits there were before I started this blog but I have previously written about three of the times I went, which present as an illustration of what PPs was to us. 

January 2010 

December 2012

December 2013 

Thank you, Pinks, for all the good times. May there be more.

Sue x 

Smiles and goodies

 In the interests of positive blogging when the world news is less satisfactory, I'd like to acknowledge some acts of kindness by ordinary people in the last few days. And note some fun girl things I brought home from London. 

I went for a walk around the London neighbourhood I used to live in. In the eight years I have been away, some things have changed and some things are the same. I spotted a shopkeeper who is the smiliest, gentlest and happiest person I have ever met and she recognised me through the window of her shop and was as friendly and welcoming as ever; it was almost like I had never been away. It really made my day. If there were more people like her the world would be very beautiful. 

I arrived at an Underground station yesterday to catch the train to the airport laden with over 40 kg of luggage only to find there was no lift or escalator, only a staircase seemingly as infinite as Jacob's Ladder. I boggled at the mountaineering to be done but a fit young man leapt to my rescue and took the heaviest case up for me. I appreciated his thoughtful kindness very much and said so.

At the airport, where the staff are often acerbic and even abusive, I was given good advice and help on check-in and, at security, one young man who had to check my hand baggage was polite, kind and apologetic for the inconvenience in a way I have never known before. Both, incidentally, were British Asian, the sort of people the current crop of nasty political parties and their many followers detest.

At one of my favourite local restaurants in my old neighbourhood - a Nepalese one - the owner said he no longer offered my favourite dish on his official menu but would make it for me anyway. It was probably the best curry I have ever had.

My cis friends were very keen to know how my trans life was going and if I was getting enough support, and were condemnatory of the transphobia that is prevalent in official circles these days. It's good to have allies who step up without being asked.

And lovely Stephanie, despite the stress and inconvenience, took three crowded buses to meet me in defiance of the London Underground strike when normally she would have taken just a single train. 

It takes very little to make people happy, just a kind word or action at the right moment. 

 

Lips, nails, eyes

I've now bought the stock of new nail varnishes I'd intended to before Christmas but didn't buy at the time as I suffered a very badly broken nail that's taken ages to heal (Pampering & replenishing). There are colours that I've never tried before like lilac, blue and black. 

 

And I got some new smart lipsticks as intended. Rimmel's alarm red has always been my go-to everyday item but there are three others from No 7, in red, pink and plum. I also got some new eye shadow.

Yes, I know they sell makeup where I now live but you get used to certain products and brands so since I was in familiar territory I thought I'd take the opportunity.

 

Clothes store

I still have most of my clothes in storage. It's been a while since they fit me! But I rationalised the packing cases with all my fem clothes so they have been reduced from 18 to 16, including my wigs, now down from two crates to one, and my hosiery from three crates to two. Can you really have too many tights? 

I found and brought home some items I'd forgotten I had, like a black skater dress and a silk wrap. I wonder if the dress will look OK! As for the '80s bubblegum pink leggings, I have no idea what to do with those. Still less the legwarmers. How come so many good things got purged in my Age of Denial and not the stuff that was best left behind in the era from which it came?

Wonderfully, I found a whole unopened bottle of one of my very favourite perfumes, Versace's Crystal Noir. This is great as my current bottle was opened so long ago that it's losing its oomph.

I also bought new underwear and, no, you don't get to see it! 

For now my party frocks, LBDs and evening dresses remain packed away until I can squeeze back into them. I'm getting there ... 

Sue x 

Girls day out in London

 (or: this blonde and this brunette went to Chinatown.)

I am visiting England at the moment. It’s been a while since I went out fully femme but I had the opportunity this week and, despite the London Underground being on strike, I arranged to meet up for lunch in Chinatown with my lovely friend Stephanie. 

I have been staying in a hotel in Teddington at the very South Western limits of Greater London. I was nervous about my looks as I think I am getting old and saggy but actually, once I was made up and my hair was fixed, I think I look cute enough.

I wore a short floral dress, a black cardigan and oldest pair of boots I have, which certainly needed a polish after years in storage. 

 

It was only later that I realised this was the exact same dress I wore last time I met Stephanie in London two years ago. D’oh! 

It was a pleasant sunny spring day but not really warm so I had my thick coat and sparkly scarf and was glad of them. I have never felt warm in London which is why I moved south.

I wondered if I’d be nervous after this long time away from the scene but actually I walked out of the hotel feeling confident and happy and took the train up to town. Because of the transport strike I walked to the centre from Waterloo, wandering into a few shops along the way, and through Leicester Square where they were preparing for the première of The Devil Wears Prada II. 

I met Stephanie under the statue of Eros in Piccadilly Circus. The great thing about being out in a big city is that it’s actually in the most crowded places that you are least likely to be outed as a trans woman. That midnight trip to the post box we all start out with is the sure fire way to be spotted, whereas big crowds are too busy with their own business to take notice of you.

Stephanie likes oriental food and I was happy with that so we had lunch in the heart of Chinatown.

Afterwards the tout on the door took our photo with all the lanterns in the street.

And then we went shopping in Covent Garden. I ended up buying some lipsticks and nail polishes as my stocks have been dwindling. We also took a stroll down to the river and sat in the Embankment Gardens where we had had this great photo taken with our friends back in 2013.

We went to Trafalgar Square where we posed under the Fourth Plinth I’d seen last year as it is currently home to an artwork of trans people’s faces. 

And by the fountains. 

We ended our day with a quiet drink in the snug corner by the fireplace at the Chandos pub that’s always been my favourite pub location. It’s become expensive, though. A small bottle of pear cider is over £7.50!

Thanks to Stephanie for being lovely company as ever and for defying the strike and battling her way into the city centre on the buses to meet me. Best wishes to Grace who would have joined us if things had been less fraught. I’ll see you next time.

I finished by trying a Franziska-style elevator shot back at the hotel. Not great, but it’s my first attempt!

Well, that was a shot in the arm. There is nothing more joyous that having a day out en femme for a bit of sightseeing, shopping and lunch with a friend. I felt recharged and very content. 

Sue x