Hello, Lugbutts

A number of people commented on my sister having become an anti-LGBT campaigner in my last post, so I guess I should go into more detail.

As mentioned before on this blog, my family are all very religious. Or rather, they are religious fundamentalists, and their faith is not actually very mainstream. They are pretty bigoted and intolerant of many things because their god disapproves. I left their religion over 20 years ago and barely speak to my parents now, partly because of that but mainly because of my father’s violent threats and his race hate that is really horrible to hear. They don’t know I’m trans (not as an adult, anyway) because I fear abuse and, even worse, their attempts to convert me back to ‘the right path’ again.

My sister was telling me of a new group she’s joined within her religion. “It’s my job to deal with the lugbutts.”

“Who on earth are the lugbutts?” I asked. 

“You know, those LGBT people. Lg-bts or lugbutts. They are extremely rich and they use their money to catch out religious tradespeople by ordering things that the trader can’t, in all conscience, provide [presumably double-bed hotel rooms for gay couples or cakes with pro-gay slogans]. They also use their wealth to influence the politicians and schools to corrupt and brainwash people. This turns impressionable people away from reality so children end up saying that they’re not really boys or girls but the other, or you end up with boys dating boys or girls dating girls.

"If your genes are boy genes,” she pronounced, “then you’re a boy. I mean, dur! isn't that obvious? These lugbutts are really persecuting so many people and damaging Britain and I feel really threatened.” 

What … the … hell…? Apart from the fact that my sister has never had a boyfriend or been in a relationship, so interfering with others’ relationships is pretty hypocritical, it’s also pretty vile when persecutors project their own behaviour onto others and yet claim to be victims. 

And there was me in front of her wearing women’s shoes and socks (though very unisex).

I put her right on genetics, but I really do now give up on anything but a nominal relationship with my family. It’s a sad choice – they’re obviously the closest people to me – but her insane, nasty, ignorant rant has made that choice easier.

Many trans people have a difficult time with families but I do wonder if I didn’t pick one of the very shortest straws here, and I feel very distressed about it. 

So, my dear fellow lugbutts, we just have to keep on being ourselves, being visible and, sadly, combating this sort of ignorance and prejudice.

Sue x

Mixed fortunes, mixed gender

I haven't posted for a month because of domestic problems (mainly involving plumbers and engineers) and because I really needed some time out. It's been stressful all right.

Things are getting mended at home - society's requirement seems to be that girls are really not good at heavy domestic maintenance and should leave it to the men. Now I was born with a man's body (and birth certificate to prove it!) but frankly my hunky bod has its limits in terms of energy and competence, so the professionals have been tramping over the Richmond estate for a while now.

I tend to write posts on separate themes so I will go into more detail another time about the relaxing break I took in androgynous mode in the ancient places and trackways of rural Wiltshire, which helped clear my mind and reduce the stress, although as a townie I'm really not used to such long walks and was pretty tired, though it meant I slept like a log!

A small part of the vast Avebury stone circle

I also went to stay with one of my sisters. Again, long walks with her along the River Avon around the city of Bath. But this time I was in brother mode, which requires making up flat-pack furniture because that's a man's job, right? But it was when she revealed that she is a member of a religious group and is campaigning against LGBT rights that I felt very depressed. That merits a separate post as it's a Big Thing.

My work gets very quiet in August and picks up again in September, so I have been easing into it with a gentle start. I work from home so at least I can dress how I please. The recent stresses have made me pick very feminine floral dresses and skirts these last two weeks.

Sigh! How many of us trans people spend our time picking our presentation to match our environment in order to feel safe? It's fine to dress and be ourselves at home alone, it's OK if toned down and alone in public, it's impossible with family. What a lousy way to live.

Sue x