Pride Month - positive press pages

 Certain parts of the world have noisy, aggressive politicians and opinionated media who are transphobic. Other places are improving and supporting trans rights. A few positive examples culled from my reading just this week:-

 

Daily press: transition assistance triples 

In Italy's north-west coastal province of Savona, inquiries to Arcigay (the national LGBT support society) about social and medical transition have tripled in the last four years. In response to this, dedicated medical services are becoming available in local hospitals. Up to now people have had to go to the main hospital in the regional capital, Genoa. There has also been an increase in requests for information from teachers and schools on how best to assist trans students. 

Trans rights are strongly protected by law in Italy, provided you are transitioning. So work still needs to be done to improve trans rights outside the officially recognised transition route. Whilst transitioning in a big city is less socially fraught, Arcigay are seeing how trans people in isolated mountain communities can be better assisted.

(Interestingly, the Arcigay enquiry centre in Savona is financially supported by the Waldensian Church through monies derived from charitable tax relief. The main protestant movements like Lutheranism, Calvinism and Anglicanism arose in the 16th century but the Waldensians are a much older, deriving from Waldo of Lyons in the 12th Century. Despite many attempts to suppress them through violence, as happened to other proto-protestant movements like the Albigensians in France and the Hussites in Bohemia, the Waldensians have kept going, mainly here in the Alps. English poet John Milton's famous sonnet, On the Late Massacre in Piedmont ("Avenge, O Lord, thy slaughter'd saints ...") is about one such Waldensian genocide in 1655. Maybe it's this history of persecution that makes them support other oppressed groups like trans people. Anyway, it makes a nice contrast to the frothing transphobia of our local Roman Catholic bishop.)

 

Fashion press: Elle magazine

I have praised this mainstream women's magazine many times on my blog. It is regularly, consistently and unequivocally pro-trans, with frequent articles dedicated to trans matters. 

This week, Elle Italia has an interview with US-Chilean trans actress, Lux Pascal, especially on her last film role in Queen of Coal, a biopic about Carlita Rodriguez, the first trans woman to be a coal miner in Patagonia in a totally male dominated industry.

 

Science press

This month's Le Scienze, which is the Italian edition of Scientific American, and its sister publication Mind on neuroscience and psychology, have three relevant articles. 

One is a long piece on vocal cord defects of all kinds. There is a very nicely written page on the different vocal cord modification procedures for trans men and trans women. The tone is as matter-of-fact yet compassionate, as it is when describing other forms of dysphonia (i.e. when your voice goes wrong) and the treatments available. Trans is a thing and science treats it as such.

Another article is short but interesting summary of a study concluding that in queer relationships, communication is key. Nothing new there as far as cis and straight people are concerned, but trans and gay people often assume that if they are with someone like them then the communication battle is half won by their both having a similar queer experience. This is a bad assumption as, in fact, queer relationships have fewer standard scripts to rely on than cis/straight ones as each queer couple is, in many respects, breaking new ground.

Finally, there is a drama initiative in the mountain province of Biella in Northern Italy to help address young people's issues. The young actors are invited to ad lib and act spontaneously rather then follow a set script and directions. This has created much more real and immediate drama. Some of the issues include gender non-conformity. Actors and audience have described a visceral reaction against misgendering, even though here it's fictional. There's nothing like showing bare abuse for what it really is.

 

So there you have some pro-trans stories from my press cuttings this week. It's all steady, solid, accepting, even practical support in the print press, which is a shot in the arm, at least for this trans woman. I have some positive items from the world of arts and music to come in due course.

 

Preparing for summer

I continue to lose weight, I am getting tanned and I am looking forward to the outdoor swimming pool opening in a few days. To avoid any dysphoria like I suffered last year, I have made sure I am fully epilated (but I will take off this nail varnish). I'm still experimenting with new looks, nails and makeup - more on that soon.

I have also been doing a lot of gardening. My olive tree - now five years old - looks like it will have quite a crop of olives this year. And I've been admiring the lanes with their prickly pears in flower:

 

Pretty but dangerous. Maybe that's how we need to be! Happy Pride Month. 

Sue x

Whackpotology

 A little parable for grown-ups.

Many years ago I worked in an organisation that assisted applicants for research and development funding. I dealt with universities, research bodies, laboratories, government agencies and the like, who wanted advice on a share of big money (millions) to establish international collaborations to advance science and technology, often in new fields like astrobiology and using incredible facilities such as particle accelerators, rockets, robot surgeons and the like. Serious, cutting-edge, exciting stuff, in other words.

I'm not a scientist but international relations are my field and I speak four languages, hence my working there. One day I got a new boss. She told me she'd got this job away from her home a hundred miles away because she needed to be far from her husband whom she could no longer live with. But being the daughter of an elder in the Jehovah's Witnesses, she could not divorce or she would be renounced by all her family, friends and church. So she was caught on the horns of this dilemma: dump the husband but be dumped by everyone she knew or stay put and suffer. Compassion might have been appropriate were it not for the fact that her faith was opposed to scientific advances such as blood transfusions; she claimed the theory of evolution was bunk, and would have cancelled Christmas leave had she been able since Christmas was, to her, "the work of the devil". In fact, that was her favourite phrase. Having no previous international experience, no language skills, an opposition to science, having left school at 16 but now surrounded by graduates and professors - a real fish out of water, in other words - I asked myself how on earth she had got herself recruited to the post in the first place. Coupled with this was her feral and unpredictable temper that caused her to scream, shout abuse, kick the furniture in the office or on trains and in hotels abroad. Sensitive in the extreme to the slightest criticism, suggestion or even query, you just avoided trying to interact with this raving woman. Needless to say, despite a nod to equal opportunities by the employer, her transphobia, misanthropy and other prejudices were expressed openly. Worst - and this is the bit for grown-ups so feel free to skip to the next paragraph - madame here wanted a child but not with hubby, obviously, and not with another man to whom she was not married as that was forbidden by her religion. That added dilemma she "solved" by vulgar and obvious advances and by quietly fingering herself. 

Obviously, even before we got to that last revolting stage, I had started to make complaints via formal staff procedures. Of course, if you are in an employment situation, even though you are complaining of another's antisocial behaviour, the hidden implication is that your boss's bosses made a mistake in recruitment and, as usually happens in these cases, they accuse you of trying to sow discord in a good team. In the end I took the matter right to the very top where I was taken seriously at last but by then, thankfully, I'd got a new job elsewhere. When I left they were unable (or unwilling) to recruit to replace me and for all I know those millions that local researchers could have had probably went to people abroad. All because of a screaming whackpot who'd be appointed to the wrong job and it was too embarrassing for her or her appointers to admit that.

You can understand how an oppressive upbringing and environment that threatens ostracism for mistakes and imperfections can be terrifying. At the most basic level, before modern social structures, removal from the family or tribe could mean death and modern man hasn't yet lost that instinct for self-preservation (oops, sorry, evolution there, my bad). Not being able to let out your frustrations as a kid and so grow out of them because it is severely punishable, surrounded by a world that you are told is evil and threatening, is awful. Ditto that you feel so much shame if the people around you seem superior. No wonder a big but fragile ego develops creating protective fantasies that you are right in the face of all this imaginary oppression. No wonder you later indulge in the unhinged, antisocial, abusive behaviour that you couldn't express as a toddler.

I mention this unpleasant tale of bad appointments, cover-ups, narcissistic rage, overblown abuse, sexual weirdness, and inability to deal with people in a constructive way, just in case you happen to come across any parallels. You can't change narcissists and bullies - their patterns of behaviour and the delusions they create in order to avoid reality and face their demons, their griefs and upsets, get set by early adulthood. But you can get away from them and leave them and their supporters to their dysfunction. 

 

Remedy 

My remedies this week to rants and chaos, and also winter weather, have included food preparation, quiet pastimes and planning and booking a number of little trips away. 

Sanremo town centre today: cold and damp but still pretty

I've booked a few days in Genoa next week despite possible snow as I want to see some of the Renaissance splendours of the city. There's also an exhibition there on Moby Dick and whales in the arts that I'd quite like to see.

In February I've booked a week on the French side of the Riviera to avoid the overwhelming Sanremo Music festival that blocks normal life round here. I hope to see Antibes, Cannes, Grasse, maybe St Tropez ...

In March I will go to Milan to vote in a referendum (democracy is fun if you can get it) and then plan to go to Rome, which I haven't visited for 20 years. 

In April I hope to be in London. And later maybe Austria, Slovenia and Germany. I did miss out on travel last year so I am trying to make up for that in 2026.

As for food, I have a good rapport with the porter here and he's given me a whole bunch of chilli peppers he's just picked from his vegetable plot. Some I've set to dry, some I've frozen and some I've put in olive oil.

Susie reminded me of jigsaw puzzles recently so, as it's wet and I can't go out to play, I did one that I originally bought to survive the pandemic lockdowns but never actually opened. A calm scene anticipating spring.

 

And always a nice soft dress on. Wear something that makes you happy as often as you can. 

Have a good weekend. 

Sue x 

Autumn mood, photo plans, perfume choices

 Last week I slept badly, ate vast amounts of chocolate and didn't feel like doing anything. I wondered if possibly I might be developing an illness or have caught some virus. But then it dawned on me: it's my old enemy, Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD. I used to suffer very badly from it when I lived in Britain where cloud cover can be total for days on end, even weeks. It's one of the main reasons I moved to the Italian riviera where there are, in theory, 300 days of sunshine a year. When I was in Britain again in September and now back home in Italy it's done little other than rain and after six weeks of low cloud and virtually no sun, it's causing me this depressed mood. 

It's the first time in six years, ever since I moved to Italy, in fact, that I've suffered this, which is why I've only just realised that this is what's going on. If you've not experienced this slump in desire to do anything because the weather is overcast for an extended period, then you are lucky. 

I did have one of those powerful mood lamps that you are supposed to look at in winter to give you a dose of something similar to sunlight but I didn't find it very effective. It made an excellent desk lamp, though!

Fortunately, today the rain gave way to sun again and it looks to be set fair for the rest of the week. I went out this afternoon and it was a pleasant 22C (72F) and the sunshine felt lovely on my face. Hello old friend. So I'm feeling a bit better already.

The other remedy is to do nice things. I spent the weekend reading books, watching comedies and listening to music and podcasts, and to hell with the housework. And I've planned my Hallowe'en when I will be accessorising a witch's outfit. Yes, there will be pictures. But will the reality match the ideal? I'll need to employ a bit of magic, I think.

 

I'm also downloading photos from the original discs of my early photoshoots.

 

Pictured on a tossing ship. Or else my camera lady is drunk!

There are a lot of these photos and most of them have never been shared before. Watch this space on 18 November when it will be the 20th anniversary of my first makeover and photoshoot. 

One of the books I have been reading is a novel written by a sister of mine. She wants feedback. It's chick lit and I love and read a lot of chick lit but she doesn't know that I am trans. I shall have to be cautious in my feedback.

I also tried some of the free samples of perfumes that come with my weekly copy of Elle. I found Chloé eau de parfum quite overwhelming to start with - even the tiny paper sampler knocked me out - but it settled into a very nice warm scent over time, a hint of floral but not too much. There was still a whiff of it on my pulse points even after two showers, so use sparingly and not if you need to be in bloke mode shortly after. But as a fragrance that seems to work pleasantly with my skin, I think I shall add it to the list of perfumes that are suitable for TGirls. If you haven't seen my popular guide for selecting a good fragrance as a transgender women, here's a link to it: Perfume for TGirls.

Anyway, that's my remedy for SAD. Do happy stuff, smell nice and forget the To Do list. Oh, and leave off alcohol and caffeine (but OK I'll admit that choco is impossible to put down!)

Back to the weather. The rain has been serious this autumn. In Britain in September, fields in the West Midlands were under water and I was frequenty woken at night by drumming rain. Here in Italy the rain has been so torrential that it's caused flooding, landslips and damage to infrastructure. Not as bad as Storm Alex in 2020, but still pretty destructive. To be fair, October is storm season here and you do have to expect some trouble.

On Saturday, I checked the state of the clouds and dashed out between showers to get my newspaper and Elle. I was five minutes from home on my return journey when the heavens opened again and the steep uphill road I live on turned into a literal river with a torrent six-inches deep rushing down it that overtopped the kerb, knocked out drain covers and gouged out the tarmac - you could see road chips surging by on the boiling tide. It was spectacular! Fortunately I was under the shelter of the awnings of a small parade of shops and could watch it unfold without being swept away. It eventually eased off and we have several new potholes now. Regional elections have been going on this weekend and today's paper is seriously wondering why turnout was down on last time. Er, I can tell you why, Mr Journalist!

I'm hoping that's the last of it and the weather will stay dry and sunny. If I'm to be a witch you can hardly expect me to fly off on my broomstick in the wet now, can you?

Sue x

The weird world of Hollywood transvestigation, and more

 A mixed bag today: Hollywood transvestigation, mindfulness in schools, fabulous frocks and being a teen again. 

 

Transvestigation

Did you know that Julia Roberts, Sarah Jessica Parker, Heidi Klum, Demi Moore and a whole bunch of other actresses and models are, in fact, MtF transgender people foisted on viewers as stand-ins for the 'real' women you think you're paying to see. Thus the Hollywood indoctrination machine ensures that you get hoodwinked into accepting men as women through this giant transgender conspiracy.

But you knew that, right? You too can tell that all these divas have got telltale square jaws, big hands, Adam's apples, five o'clock shadow and more. And here's the photographic proof! ... etc. etc.

I guess it's the Almighty Algorithm that occasionally suggests bizarre videos or sites to me where self-appointed 'transvestigators' blow the cover of all those men who have been masquerading as women and, somehow, winning oscars (which is a Hollywood scam, too, to reinforce the transgender agenda onto the whole world.)

I won't dignify this mad area of the interweb by providing links, any more than I would to sites for flat-earthers, religious cults, or Donald Trump's fundraising efforts. Conspiracy nuts are weird because they don't trust authority, but for totally the wrong reasons. I don't trust authority either, but not because there's a vast-scale conspiracy. (I'd say it was rather the opposite, in fact; it's the jockeying of individual narcissists and their personal agendas that creates a toxic political situation, not some co-ordinated effort by huge numbers of willfully bad people with a single agenda, as most conspiracists would have it.) And the shape-shifting lizards from outer space who supposedly control it all? Meh, maybe they're transgender, too.

Frankly, most of us MtF trans people can only dream of being some of the world's most beautiful women on a red carpet. I guess we do our best to look good with what nature gave us. But I find it inadvertently flattering on the part of these conspiracy nuts that they believe that all Hollywood stars are trans.

Anyway, I'm not going to delve in depth into this idiocy or try to work out what psychological issues cause it. If you want to gawp in bemusement at this aspect of online paranoia and delusion then by all means use a search engine to look into transvestigation. Or just wait for the algorithm to work out your interests.

Brianna Ghey: Peace in Mind

I was very affected earlier this year by the murder of Brianna Ghey, a trans influencer, aged just 16. Partly because it tapped directly into my own fears such as those discussed in my previous post but also because my beloved trans friend Kate was dying of cancer just a stone's throw away. Yesterday I got an email from Brianna's mother Esther that says:

I’m turning donations off on this page [the Brianna Fundraiser site], so would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone again and to announce the launch of my joint campaign with the Warrington Guardian.

I hope that you all know how much you helped my family during our time of need. Not only did you help with funeral costs, memorabilia and turning Brianna’s room into a special place for us to remember her. You also helped by letting us know that you cared and were thinking of us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so kind

You have sparked my passion about improving society and as a way of thanks to all the kindness my family have received, I have launched a joint campaign with the Warrington Guardian called Peace in Mind. This is Brianna’s legacy.

Our campaign is double pronged. I believe that by bringing mindfulness to schools we can help to create communities built on empathy, compassion, and resilience. I believe this could reduce the number of horrific crimes and create a more peaceful society for us all.

Secondly, Brianna struggled massively with her mental health and there are so many young people right now that continue to struggle. Mindfulness can help reduce the onset of poor mental health and provide tools to better manage existing mental health issues. If we get mindfulness into schools, we can provide young people with coping strategies that they can use in their school years and the rest of their lives.

If you are interested about what we’re doing, please check out our GoFundMe page: https://gfme.co/briannagheymemorial

You have already given so much, and I would greatly appreciate any more support that you can give, even sharing the news of our campaign would be amazing. Let’s all be part of a positive change xxx

Dear Esther, I am very happy to share the news of your campaign here. According to your new page:

 The short-term goal is to raise money to send teachers from Warrington on Mindfulness in Schools Project (MiSP) training courses, which will provide more support for children of all ages.

The MiSP website is here: MiSP. This is how they introduce themselves:

Mindfulness in Schools Project (MiSP) is an international, not-for-profit charity for young people and schools. Our aim is to improve the lives of a generation of children and young people by making a genuine, positive difference to their mental health and wellbeing.

 

Our view is that everyone deserves to not ‘just get by’ but to positively flourish...

Mental distress in school is by no means a new phenomenon but it has new aspects in the 21st century. I had a poor experience in school and whilst some people's attitude is to say that so did they but it was 'character building' and kids theses days have it too easy, my preference is that people should be able to thrive at school not struggle unnecessarily and unjustly. I'm glad other people see it that way, too.

Fabulous frocks

I have to urge you to look at Isobel's latest post on her blog because, frankly, I don't think I've ever seen such a super collection of gorgeous frocks, both contemporary and vintage, all in one place as in her latest post:

Indisputably Isobel: 50s Seaside Fun

Keep up the great work with your friends, Izzy, making the world more alive with trans fabulousness. And keep having fun.

 

A dip in the archives

I've posted this before but this picture does prove popular and dates from 15 years ago. I asked Jodie at the Boudoir Dressing Service to make me look like a teenage girl. (I was over 20 at the time ... quite a bit over 20, in fact.) And this is the result, which I still can't quite believe, but with good makeup, the right clothes and a suitable attitude, I think I pulled it off.

Sue x

 

Kids are merely imagining they are trans, says the psychiatrist

 I mentioned briefly in my last post that I had friends to stay and that one is a psychiatrist who works mainly with children. 

A vein of humour can been mined when a psychiatrist turns up in comedy shows. One thinks of the psychiatrist who stays at the Fawlty Towers hotel describing the acerbic owner, Basil Fawlty, as having "enough material there for an entire conference". Or in the various incarnations of The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy, where the President of the Galaxy, Zaphod Beeblebrox, has a 'private brain care specialist' with a German accent who is often interviewed about the President's state of mind and invariably ends the questioning with the non-committal "Vell, Zaphod's just zis guy, you know". 

I'm pleased to say that my psychiatrist friend also has a strong German accent this makes him authentic in the best tradition! However, what he said about transgender children wasn't all that funny, I thought.

To summarise a long chat, according to his experience, his training and his school of psychiatry, no-one can know they are transgender until they are about 14 so that treating kids as transgender before then is wrong. This is because, prior to that sort of age, kids play lots of games, indulge in frequent role-playing and imagine their place in a made-up world. There is so much fantasy in early years, he said, that swapping gender role is merely an aspect of childhood play and it is inappropriate to treat that as a determinant for the future.

Now, no-one could argue that kids aren't full of fantasy and imagination. They love playing roles and pretending to be all sorts of things. But if this is a game, then I've been playing it for 50 years! The only variation in my feeling trans is the intensity with which that conviction has existed throughout my life. And whilst it is true that some people, especially children, do actually swap gender roles for a little while before reverting to their designated gender, there's a deepset innate sense in a trans person that their place in life is with the gender they experience and identify with, that it's no game and that they're not making it up. We do not have the vocabulary to describe this conviction nor are we able to say convincingly "I feel like a woman/man" since no-one can accurately describe what feeling like a particular sex is. Most people whose sex and gender match never even give this notion a thought.

So I said that gender dysphoria and childhood fantasy games might seem similar to an outsider, but that imagination had no direct connection with the trans experience. I also had to point out that his training, unlike that of a doctor, did not involve studying biology, and that fields like genetics, endocrinology, evolutionary biology, ecology and so forth reveal distinct possibilities that being trans is a natural and inevitable consequence of genetic makeup, of hormonal differences, of environmental factors, of evolutionary pressures and many other physical forces at work in nature which have nothing to do with the mind. I also pointed out that I had taken part in various studies into trans people, including the 2010 Kennedy/Hellen study on when trans people perceive their gender incongruence. The overwhelming majority have done so well before 14. I myself am typical in that I felt I wanted to be regarded as a girl when I was about 5-6 years old (there's a useful chart on p.4 of that study). And that's never changed. The main reason I have never transitioned, even though I would love to live as female all the time, is that the self-preservation instinct and social pragmatism have so far overridden my natural feminine instinct. When you are brought up in a brutal and judgmental environment, and society is not always accepting, acting safely is essential for survival. 

As far as his own field was concerned, I also pointed out that transgenderism was being regarded ever less as a condition requiring mental health intervention but more of a natural experience. The rewrites of the DSM, for instance, bear witness to that.

This all seemed to be news to my psychiatrist friend. He still suggested that the happiest life for me would be to conflate my feminine side with my masculine one and meet in the middle, which annoyed me, partly because I hadn't asked for some clinical diagnosis but mainly because my male side is merely a public mask for self-preservation purposes, whereas my trans feminine side is that actual real me and not some game. Frankly, this discussion left me feeling that psychiatry has limited benefits when dealing with trans people. I can see from my own experience of visiting gender clinics, from general discussions with trans friends especially transitioners, and from everyday interactions, that a lot of people who transition have underlying conditions such as autism or bipolar disorder, much more so than in the general population, and that they could benefit from intervention by psychiatrists to assist with informed, practical decisions on transition rather than the often precipitate or extreme approach that some trans people take as a result of those conditions (or indeed through peer pressure); but as for psychiatrists assuming that trans children are merely playing games, that is depressing and unhelpful and makes me wonder about the value and quality of that profession in dealing with us.

Oh well, I thought I'd mention this.

 

Heat

Wishing all my friends in Europe resilience in this heatwave and drought. I tolerate heat well but I confess that even I am having trouble sleeping in these hot, airless nights.

I let my herbs and salads flower and go to seed, which generates the next crop, and this also attracts little insects that in turn attract the lizards and geckos who eat them. I am now convinced that a tiny lizard has taken up permanent residence among my pots as I see her so frequently, either scuttling about or basking in the sun. I call her Laura. I don't know if the lizard is actually female, but she is to me. Should I see a shrink?

Sue x

Parenting challenges

 It's been a very odd week. I had two significant conversations about trans children, one with a parent, one with a psychiatrist.

I had friends to stay. They were very keen to come in July to enjoy the sea, the swimming, the sightseeing. The weather, the water, the sunlight and the air are scintillatingly perfect right now, in my view. But one, it turns out, can't tolerate heat and spent the week sitting on my sofa trying to get the air conditioning to create an environment that was 18°C or less, and the other one spent his time indulging his partner's whims. Why they come to the Med in summer when it's inevitably going to be more than 18°C, I do not know. So they did nothing for a week. Travelling abroad seems an expensive way of doing nothing to me, but each to their own. As the old Northern English expression goes, there's nowt so queer as folk. The trouble is, I found their lethargy exhausting!

Anyway, one is a psychiatrist who largely deals with children and has developed some strong views about how childhood problems are caused by irresponsible, lazy or stupid parents. And many parents seem to him to be stupid. He has no children himself. Neither do I. It strikes me that parenting in the modern age is immensely challenging, probably more so than in the past when life was more basic and communities more cohesive. Furthermore, there's no instruction manual. That the young generation right now seem to me to be more genuine, responsible and decent than mine was, strikes me as being a testament to someone's efforts to educate, and I'd put parents at the forefront of that achievement. Well done, mums and dads, you seem to have managed well.

His views, based on his clinical work and training, that no-one can know they are trans until they are about 14, is not correct and I had a long conversation with him about this, providing him with evidence from fields other than psychology and from my own experience. 

I will write that conversation up more fully in another post because it merits a closer look and because something else happened this week, and that was a distraught phone call from a very close friend of mine whose teenage child has suddenly and unexpectedly come out as a transman and has demanded everyone use a new male name, wants hormones, breast binding and so forth. It seems there may be a lot of inappropriate peer pressure involved. I am not best qualified to comment on female-to-male transition, on teenagers, on parental rights and responsibilities, but I'm touched she came to me. In the UK my friend and her child can get support from charities like Mermaids, specialising in trans youth and their families, and from her local trans group, so I put her in touch with both (and thank you again to those who responded to my initial queries). She seems glad that there is support out there. My friend and her saintly husband are two of the best people in the world and her child, who has already had support from the school authorities, will, I think, have the best circumstances in which to arrive at their reality on this matter.

I'm getting back to my routine and to enjoying the climate that seems so perfect to me at this time of year - it's why I moved to the riviera, after all. Yes, there is a drought and now we have restrictions on water use. Despite my best care, some of my potplants are struggling. But the sun makes me feel alive, the limpid air is a delight to breathe, the sun- and moonlight sparkling on the sea are mesmerising... the whole season is joyous to me. And it's all free.

 

Sue x

Integrity and the TGirl

 Two years ago I mentioned an exhibition of photographer Lisetta Carmi's work documenting the lives of trans people in the 1960s (link: Trans lives in the 1960s). I'm sad to say that she passed away the other day, although at the grand age of 98. Her book about the subject was very controversial as it highlighted a large subculture that people had preferred to ignore. Having been the victim of anti-Jewish laws and proscriptions in the 1930s-40s, and having felt that she wanted to be a boy when younger, her many projects documenting the realities of the lives of society's underdogs were non-judgmental and the subject matter spoke for itself without much need for commentary. 

 

I am pleased to see that the DSM, that bible of behaviour that has always included much about being transgender, has been updated with some more sensitive definitions (see this post from Crossdreamers here). I do like the definition "experienced gender" replacing "desired gender". For my part, I've never desired a gender, just experienced one that is not so common.

Living one's reality and recording that of others involves integrity. I have never been much bothered about a person's beliefs or politics because if they are a person of integrity they will do the right thing. It's the abusers whose philosophy one needs to watch. No amount of abuse and threats by transphobes alters our reality though it may alter our behaviour to avoid violence or punishment. 

I think it worth mentioning this on the day when a certain Boris Johnson may be resigning as British Prime Minister, "in due course, at the appropriate juncture, in the fullness of time, when the moment is ripe, when the necessary procedures have been completed, nothing precipitate, of course," to quote Sir Humphrey from the '80s sitcom Yes, Minister. Johnson, like Trump, like Putin, is a man with no integrity whatsoever. That wholesale absence of integrity in oneself and the inability to understand when it is advisable to pretend to have it, is a rare trait but you can see the chaos and misery that it brings to millions. The transphobia that has erupted under the premiership of this individual, which was not found even under his psychopathic predecessor, is one of the legacies of his inhumanity. I have found little integrity in government at any level over the course of my life, but we seem to be at the nadir.

Gay old times ahead

I have two friends coming to stay with me for a few days so I may not be able to post again for a week or so. They are the first guests I will have had since moving to Italy nearly four years ago. Thanks Covid! I hope they'll enjoy their time with me. Let's hope the weather remains nice but stops being quite so hot and dry as it has been this week.

They are a gay couple who know I am trans and have met me as Sue, though they don't understand why people are trans. But they accept who I am, and that's what counts. After all, do we ourselves understand what it is that makes us trans? Not really, and the many rewrites of the DSM reflect that. Anyway, here's to fun and mutual respect with other LGBTQ+ folk.

Sue x