Smiles and goodies

 In the interests of positive blogging when the world news is less satisfactory, I'd like to acknowledge some acts of kindness by ordinary people in the last few days. And note some fun girl things I brought home from London. 

I went for a walk around the London neighbourhood I used to live in. In the eight years I have been away, some things have changed and some things are the same. I spotted a shopkeeper who is the smiliest, gentlest and happiest person I have ever met and she recognised me through the window of her shop and was as friendly and welcoming as ever; it was almost like I had never been away. It really made my day. If there were more people like her the world would be very beautiful. 

I arrived at an Underground station yesterday to catch the train to the airport laden with over 40 kg of luggage only to find there was no lift or escalator, only a staircase seemingly as infinite as Jacob's Ladder. I boggled at the mountaineering to be done but a fit young man leapt to my rescue and took the heaviest case up for me. I appreciated his thoughtful kindness very much and said so.

At the airport, where the staff are often acerbic and even abusive, I was given good advice and help on check-in and, at security, one young man who had to check my hand baggage was polite, kind and apologetic for the inconvenience in a way I have never known before. Both, incidentally, were British Asian, the sort of people the current crop of nasty political parties and their many followers detest.

At one of my favourite local restaurants in my old neighbourhood - a Nepalese one - the owner said he no longer offered my favourite dish on his official menu but would make it for me anyway. It was probably the best curry I have ever had.

My cis friends were very keen to know how my trans life was going and if I was getting enough support, and were condemnatory of the transphobia that is prevalent in official circles these days. It's good to have allies who step up without being asked.

And lovely Stephanie, despite the stress and inconvenience, took three crowded buses to meet me in defiance of the London Underground strike when normally she would have taken just a single train. 

It takes very little to make people happy, just a kind word or action at the right moment. 

 

Lips, nails, eyes

I've now bought the stock of new nail varnishes I'd intended to before Christmas but didn't buy at the time as I suffered a very badly broken nail that's taken ages to heal (Pampering & replenishing). There are colours that I've never tried before like lilac, blue and black. 

 

And I got some new smart lipsticks as intended. Rimmel's alarm red has always been my go-to everyday item but there are three others from No 7, in red, pink and plum. I also got some new eye shadow.

Yes, I know they sell makeup where I now live but you get used to certain products and brands so since I was in familiar territory I thought I'd take the opportunity.

 

Clothes store

I still have most of my clothes in storage. It's been a while since they fit me! But I rationalised the packing cases with all my fem clothes so they have been reduced from 18 to 16, including my wigs, now down from two crates to one, and my hosiery from three crates to two. Can you really have too many tights? 

I found and brought home some items I'd forgotten I had, like a black skater dress and a silk wrap. I wonder if the dress will look OK! As for the '80s bubblegum pink leggings, I have no idea what to do with those. Still less the legwarmers. How come so many good things got purged in my Age of Denial and not the stuff that was best left behind in the era from which it came?

Wonderfully, I found a whole unopened bottle of one of my very favourite perfumes, Versace's Crystal Noir. This is great as my current bottle was opened so long ago that it's losing its oomph.

I also bought new underwear and, no, you don't get to see it! 

For now my party frocks, LBDs and evening dresses remain packed away until I can squeeze back into them. I'm getting there ... 

Sue x 

Licence to dress

 You are hereby licensed to crossdress and no one can criticise you. This is because Carnival season is in full swing. 

Like so many other occasions that have arisen over the centuries - Roman Saturnalia in December, medieval Feasts of Fools, mumming and pantomime at Christmas, or modern Hallowe'en - Carnival time is a time when people traditionally get out of the routine and requirements of their culture and can be themselves, or anyone else. Crossdressing is standard. Indeed, the nearby Nice Carnival is offering free access to anyone fully dressed up, illustrated by a bearded man in a ballgown, and there's a special evening when the carnival turns specifically LGBT. I've mentioned before how the Venice carnival with its traditional masks and cover-all costumes, means you can easily disguise yourself as anyone or any gender. All this has been a godsend to genderfluid people through the ages. 

 

(c) Progettato da Freepik

Today is Shrove Tuesday, or as they call it here in Italy, martedì grasso, meaning Fat Tuesday (which I admit sounds like a nickname for a mobster or jazz player). English readers will have heard of the French equivalent, mardi gras. Traditionally, it's when you ate the last of the bacon, sausages, lard and other preserved meat that had seen you through the winter before the lean season of Lent. Hence the name Carnival, which derives from Latin caro (meat) and vale (farewell). Religious seasons often just reflect the practical realities of life before we invented battery farms, factory ships, greenhouses and soy milk for that essential figure-sculpting frappuccino we just can't do without.

 

Hay fever

I'm not feeling too great as I have hay fever. It's not something I've generally suffered from in life, thank goodness, but in the past two or three years something in this area is causing it. Cypress pollen is the main culprit at this time of year. I am surrounded by cypresses - there's one right outside my bedroom - and there are strong winds that don't help, so that could well be it. I'm not the only one I know who is affected. 

This is annoying as I had hoped to wear something a bit carnivalesque just for fun but with this red nose I might just have to go for a standard clown outfit! (No change there then, they snigger!) Thank goodness for antihistamine.

 

Lovers Arch 

In the heel of Italy, the famous Lovers Arch (below, left), a natural stone arch over the sea which is a favourite spot for declarations of love and marriage, has crumbled in rough weather. It's a great loss to local sentiment and to tourism but it's just natural erosion at work. At least it lived for one more Valentine's Day.

(c) Freddyballo

Sue xx 

Winterval, and Elle

 Back in the 1990s the city of Birmingham, England, called its range of winter festivities "Winterval", a conflation of winter and festival. Naturally enough, the British tabloid press, quite possibly the worst media outlets in the world, engaged in their unique form of rabid, frothing rage saying how traditional Christmas was being "banned" (a favourite misrepresentation of theirs) in the name of "political correctness" (which had doubtless "gone mad", ditto). I thought it was quite a good name for winter festivities that include but are not exclusive to Christmas. A more astute city administration could have said the term was coined by local boy William Shakespeare and since your average tabloid journalist probably wouldn't know how to check if that was true, Birmingham could have avoided a lot of aggravation.

Since becoming self-employed back in 2008 and working at home, I too tend to have a Winterval of my own, which stands for winter and interval because nothing, be it workwise or socially related, works in any normal way between early December and mid January. Or, as an old Nigerian colleague of mine put it when I had just started full-time permanent work and he was thwarted in completing something by the usual pre-Christmas chaos, "Oh man, it's Christmas; everything goes beserk!" And what with the severe effect that the short days and cold weather three weeks either side of the winter solstice have on my mood and ability to function, I need a cheerful, bright home at this season. It's not so dark and cold where I now live as it was in London, but yesterday I put up lights and decorations, candles and perfumed things, and set up and decorated the tree. The advent calendar is stuffed with chocolates, because you need these nibbles to keep your strength up every day, right? And so in this way I survive the crazy season, when it's dark and nothing works properly, with a bright, cosy home. Keeping the winter blues away one chocolate at a time... 

That said, it was lovely at lunchtime today and I was able to eat outdoors and get those essential sunrays. Last night, though, I celebrated the first day of Sue's Winterval with a glass of prosecco (which went straight to my head!) wearing another favourite old dress in blue wool (I've had this old faithful at least 25 years but I love it!) and winter boots.

 

 

Elle magazine

Once again - and it's not the first time - I have to pay tribute to Elle Italia for being a non-trans publication that is uniquely and openly supportive of the trans community. 

 

I try to write regular posts about what's happening in the world of the arts that's supportive of trans people or involves related interests but this year it's not been so easy to dedicate time to researching for these posts because of family matters. 

This week I am delighted to hear via Elle of a new exhibition by Andrea Francolini, an Italian photographer based in Sydney, Australia, whose latest exhibition is entitled Eyedentify and specifically celebrates the trans community, focusing on their eyes, the windows to the soul. Elle prints five of the portraits, each one full page. They're beautiful and you can see them online here, though the site seems to provide text only in Italian:

https://www.elle.com/it/magazine/arte/a69542629/eyedentify-andrea-francolini-identita-trans-progetto/ 

 

I'd like to thank Hearst Publishing and Elle Italia specifically for being such constant supporters of the trans community, always presenting us positively and genuinely. We can do with support right now. 

 

New items

I've had an email that my new boots and shoes should be arriving at my local outlet tomorrow. I'm looking forward to trying them on.

I also have a new nightie, a long black satin one with spaghetti straps. Although light, I think it should be warm as well as pretty. 

I'm wondering if I need a party dress for Christmas ... 

 

That's a nice, positive start to December. Yay!

Sue x 

Worried about a trip to Britain

 I am going back to Britain the week after next, as I have done every six months since the pandemic ended, but I am very uneasy about it. The crass political situation there makes me sick and the anti-trans court ruling the other week makes me more determined than ever to remove my remaining personal belongings from there and complete settling in Italy. The same sort of sentiment regards my family whom I will be seeing but whose bigotry gets worse with time. The trouble is, any pensions I am due all come from Britain so I'll never be shot of the craziness and failure there, nor the loss in their value because of the low rate of the pound sterling they will be paid in. I was hoping to go out fully dressed when there but now I'm not feeling it. Not at present anyway. We'll see how I feel when I'm there. On the positive side, I will be seeing friends, too, including one who is having her surgery. I expect there will be some nice things to report back about my meetups.

[Add: I've just had a comment from Dee Williams, one of my very oldest trans friends whom I first met on my very first time out as Sue. Dee lives in South West England now and she's just started a blog, The Other Side of Life, which I have also added to my blogroll. She too is worried about some of the items I mentioned here.] 

You'll notice that I'm increasing my contact with other trans sisters in Europe and I've recently added Carla's blog (Pink Fog - Trans in Spain) to the list on the right. Carla is an English girl living in Spain. 

Other European TGirl blogs I recommend include Violetta's beautiful blog (Violetta Arden's World - this week she's walking in Austrian pastures) and Franzi's classy blog (Franziska Out and About) about crossdressing and culture in Germany.

I'd also like to mention a male friend in Portugal, also British originally, who's been a great trans ally and we've both supported each other in settling in Europe, but he has been struggling on and off with cancer for some years and I'm worried about him. Treatment works for a bit and he gets some respite and then it's back. I've lost so many friends to cancer these last four years that it's like the Grim Reaper has been flicking through my address book for ideas. 

And a shout out to poor trans woman Jen of travel vlog Jen on the Move who has suffered a stroke. I really hope she makes a good recovery.

I mention all these worrying things because my trans positivity resolutions at the moment include giving as much encouragement to other trans people as I can. If not in person, then online. There are so many trans people sharing their lives in one way or another on social media and with the attacks on our community at present I can't help feeling that even the smallest like or thumbs-up or share or encouraging comment can go a long way to helping each of us continue to live authentically and know that there's support out there.

The stats here on Blogger tell me quite clearly that my political posts are not as popular as posts about trans clubs, pretty clothes and girls meeting up so I will be getting back to the more popular themes of trans life. I have not been able to overlook the awful situation that the world is in this past month and its effects on our community as it makes me ill even to think about it. But something lighter hearted and more beautiful is needed and I'll be aiming to deliver that.

Pretty purple and pink chive flowers in my herb garden

 

Look after yourselves, dear sisters, and help one another.

Sue x

A girls' night out, travelling the unknown

 I went to Manchester mainly to meet up with the widows of two beloved trans friends who have died recently. A trip tinged with sadness, therefore, but one that went beautifully for all that.

My first evening out was with Sandy, wife of Bobby Sox who passed away three years ago. I wrote a tribute to Bobby here. 

Sandy sold their home in Wales and moved to Lancashire six months ago. As Manchester was a little far for her we agreed to meet half way, in Bolton. 

I had been to Bolton once before, for work in the 1990s. But that was just straight from train to office by taxi and back so I'd never actually set foot in the town. For those who don't know, Bolton was once the cotton spinning capital of Britain, with over 200 mills, and therefore a city with a significant industrial heritage. All gone now, although those who watched British TV in the 1970s and '80s may recall Fred Dibnah, a Bolton steeplejack who fascinated the nation with the way he dangled off high roofs, his ways of bringing down industrial chimneys without explosives, and his traction engines.

Anyway, we agreed to have an evening there. So I got into a little floral dress over leggings and my beloved old ankle boots.

 

When I first started going out in public as a woman, the prospects of taking public transport made me nervous as hell. And although I have been out very little in the last ten years, the last few trips this year seem to have killed off any recurring nerves to speak of and I merrily set off to do a train journey I'd never done before. Living life as a woman becomes too joyous to worry so much about whether you pass or people will notice you. The increased confidence you get as you go out more and more eventually does away with such niggles. I am a woman getting on with her life, and how I feel about that affects my demeanour and how people treat me. Nobody took any notice of me, which is how it should be. Of course, if you want the attention, I'm not saying you shouldn't get it. But I was just off to have dinner with an old friend I hadn't seen in years so what's that to anyone else? I was just another commuter at a crowded station.

So I bought a ticket from the machine, found Platform 14 and its airport-style waiting lounge where a crowd was gathering and eventually the train came in and rattled its way to Bolton. 

It was so lovely to see Sandy again and looking well. We went straight to the Achari Indian restaurant near the station where they gave us a big table to ourselves and unfailingly referred to us a "ladies" and called me "madam" and what could one possibly want more than this affirming treatment? That is the joy I derive from doing this. It makes all the aggro with makeup and wigs worth it. 

Anyway, we had a lot to catch up on. Sandy seems happy in her new home and is settling into her new work and surroundings. Her son and daughter-in-law are not too far away in Yorkshire. So I'm glad to hear all that. I hope she may visit me in Italy one day. 

The food was not at all bad, by the way. Perhaps not the most memorable chicken balti I've had, but certainly tasty, and I was hungry.

We had a bit of time left and so went to look for a quiet place for a drink afterwards and the York Hotel seemed like a possibility. You can never be quite sure in an unknown place what a pub might be like, what sort of people patronise it, how welcoming it might be. But once inside we found it festooned in Pride flags and that was an immediate reassurance. And the other unexpected find was that they served Britvic 55! For those who don't know or don't recall, Britvic 55 was soft drink that saw its heydey in the 1980s with a hard advertising campaign that touted this mix of orange juice and fizzy water as a drink that was both healthy, fun and very much the 'in' thing. I couldn't believe they still make it but there it was. I felt like I was reliving my student days! So we guzzled our Britvic as we chatted.

It was really nice to see my friend again who has always been a staunch ally of the trans community, frequently joining us girls on our nights out. And I got the benefit of an evening as myself with that positive support.

I'd normally leave my narrative there but I have to describe my journey back to Manchester as it required some innovation on my part. I would never have believed years ago that I could just get on with the outdoor life of a typical woman. But here I am.

The trains to Manchester Piccadilly were cancelled. Typical! The best I could hope for was Manchester Victoria after some wait on the gloomy platform at Bolton. I don't know Manchester well and had little idea of where Victoria was. But it was that or walk. So it was that. I assumed there'd be surface transport from Victoria to Piccadilly and I found on arrival that there was a tram. I've never been on a Manchester tram before and working out the route, timetable and ticketing arrangements took a bit of time. No big city ever really helps visitors work out how their complex transport system functions in any easy way. 

Anyway, having worked it out and got a ticket, I took the tram which was reasonably empty and I took some bad selfies just to prove I'd been on it. I think I'm getting old and ugly and by evening's end my makeup isn't looking so good. But here's the least awful picture. Let me look down on you, little ticket inspector!

 

Apart from a lesbian shouting abuse at a man who'd joked "get a room, you two" when she kissed her girlfriend, there was no trouble. (You can tell I don't really like late-night transport!) So I got back to the apartment later than planned but exhilarated by my adventure. A mundane journey for some, but an uplifting experience for a trans woman who hasn't been able to live as she'd like for years. 

Thank you, Sandy, for your friendship, kindness, support and company. May we meet again soon. And here's to you, dear Bobby, you never-forgotten glamourpuss.

Sue x

Trams for trans

 Two pieces of positive trans news revolving, of all things, around trams.

Last weekend a trans friend of mine went to work as a volunteer conductor (conductress?) on the trams at the UK's national tram museum at the Crich Tramway Village in Derbyshire. It was her first day on the job and she was attracted to it both by the trams and by their LGBT-friendly policies. If you can do the job with competence and enthusiasm then they'll have you, they said. Which is how any job ought to be. 

She says it was tiring but she really enjoyed it. Obviously there's a lot to learn, even in the apparently simple task of giving out tickets, but interacting with families who were enjoying a day out was the best part. She hopes to go more regularly and eventually, if she's up to the job (of course she is!), they'll put her on a course to become a driver.

It's a pity that Britain got rid of so many of its tramways. London, for instance, lost its trams in 1952, which were replaced by buses. Then they realised that trams have merits after all so they introduced the Croydon Tramlink to South London in 2000, although that's more of a light rail system than a streetcar or trolley. New tram systems have also been reintroduced in other British cities like Manchester, Edinburgh and Nottingham, some more successfully than others. 

I have used public transport most of my life and delays in my getting out in public as a girl were partly due to my reliance on public rather than private transport. On public transport, there's nowhere to hide!

I'm writing on this topic partly to praise the trans-friendly employer above and to pay a promise to put up some of the pictures I took of the old trams in Milan that have been in continuous service since 1928. Milan has had an extensive tram network operating continuously since the nineteenth century so, unlike at Crich, they're not museum pieces - I use them to get about. But I wanted to record their presence as they can't stay in service for ever. Last month I mentioned one of these old trams decked out in Pride colours and since there are a lot of trans girls who like transport and vehicles (I guess you can't take all the boy out of the girl!) I agreed to post pictures here. 

Next time I'll try to photograph and film the interiors with their glass lamps and the wooden seating polished to a high shine. But if you want more info, here's the Wikipedia article.

The best places to see them are in Piazza Cordosio, a busy square in the city centre between the cathedral and the castle, and outside the monumental central station. There are about 150 still in service running on half a dozen routes. Route 5 runs closest to home, hence it features more here.

I'm hoping to edit the various film clips together in due course and put them up on YouTube but here's a bit of film of two trams painted with advertising departing, and a tram in standard livery arriving. You get to hear the noises of trams rattling on rails and the wooden doors opening with a hiss and slap. The guy getting on the middle door, which is for exiting passengers, shows typical local behaviour!

I took photos of the three other types of tram to be seen, dating from the late 1950s, the late 1970s and the more recent low-slung caterpillars. I could give you a close-up of the 1950s tram but I couldn't resist keeping the lady in the snazzy jumpsuit in the picture. Now that's an outfit I don't think I'd ever have the guts to wear in the street, so kudos to her.

And here's the old lady in Pride colours (I identify with her!) and the latest type outside the colossal railway station. The city's transport provider, ATM, is an equal opportunities employer and I'm pleased to report, as the second positive item here, that, as of next year, any trans person may used their preferred name and gender on their season ticket. This measure has been brought in thanks to the hard work of our wonderful trans councillor, Monica Romano, who was elected on the basis of locals having tried everyone else so why not trust a trans for once! That trans-positive campaign worked, as I mentioned in 2021. And here we are.

Enjoy your travels, girls.

Sue x

The good stuff

 For all the noisy transphobia in the more macho yet minority sections of society these days, be it populist politicians, extremist media, radical feminists or kids' fantasy writers, I still perceive increasing understanding and tolerance of trans people in more normal, less deranged groups in society. We trans people worry about the haters but I'd like to note here the positive stuff I've read about just this week alone.

Such as the feature length article in my regular science monthly that has an unbiased explanation of our current understanding of the neurobiology of gender identity. Trans people are not mentally ill and being trans is a real and naturally occurring condition for a portion of the population, and always has been in every age and culture. How might this be brought about by biology, by environment, by conditioning, the article asks? The science is in its early days, but biology not social conditioning is the main player and the article debunks fears of detransition or of teen transgenderism as one form of teen rebellion. And this all being the case, how come trans people are still subject to discrimination? The well-balanced article is by Massimo Sandal, a molecular and computational biologist who is cisgender. There is no English translation to link to and I can't put one up myself for copyright reasons but I mention it as I feel his audience will appreciate the properly scientific approach to the subject.

Or Mexico City's new law against "transfemicide" that aims specifically to tackle the killing of trans people, almost always trans women. A much needed step to reduce violent hate crime.

France 24 article

Guardian UK article

My monthly Italian tourism magazine is recommending a drag queen version of Anton Chekhov's play The Cherry Orchard. Chekhov is a great playwright and, well, drag queens like to perform, so it could be a version made in heaven!

 

I also notice a new book, Altricorpi ("Other bodies") by Paolo Armelli, published by Blackie, about finding love in the queer community in an age when love and its pursuit is both changing and flexible. And not just romantic love but acceptance. It looks like a vast range of contemporary experience is covered, whilst referencing past lives, such as that of Julius Caesar, "the world's most famous bisexual". Well, I did know Caesar had certain bedfellows who were politically useful, although I suspect he'll always be better known for clobbering Gauls and invading Britain. But anyway.

 

The review of this I have been reading is in the Sunday supplement to my regular newspaper, which has always treated LGBT themes as a normal part of human life.

A bit of positivity helps us along.

Have a good weekend.

Sue x

For all the transphobia, there's understanding out there too

 Do you remember this cover of Time magazine, from ten years ago?

(c) Time, 29 May 2014

The article is here if you're interested: The Transgender Tipping Point

We really thought we were moving towards a rosier future for trans people. Clearly, in the USA, things went backwards under Trump and are difficult in certain states now. In the UK, even the deranged British Prime Minister Theresa May, for all her hatred of human rights, planned to extend trans rights, but her replacements, the crooked Boris Johnson, the mad Liz Truss and the cruel Richy Sunak have used trans people as a source of abuse. I feel only revulsion at Sunak making a transphobic joke specifically when the mother of a murdered trans teenager was attending parliament the other week. It shows new heights of nastiness.

My blog intends to be positive overall. I was amazingly happy when I first started writing my blog in 2011 as I made my way as a woman in the world. Now I am uncertain. But one thing I do know is that in the European Union I stand a better chance of long-term tolerance than in the English-speaking world. Although here in Italy there is still a way to go, which makes me cautious. 

Nevertheless, I open a recent copy of the Italian edition of Elle magazine and it has an article for parents on how to help your child if he or she is trans or struggling with gender issues, reviewing Emma Mirò's recent book on that very subject.

My December issue of Mind magazine (dedicated to neuroscience and psychology) discusses teenage image and, without judgment, simply talks of gender identity as part of the issues that teenagers face when engaging with the world and with their peers. Later in the same issue, there is a long and emotionally difficult article on electroshock, emetic and other aversion 'therapies' to 'cure' LGBT people, which were used in the 20th Century. None of these treatments worked, they conclude, they simply tortured people and are now rejected by civilized medicine because being LGBT is inherent and not a mental health disorder.

My daily regional paper, Il Secolo XIX, had a long positive obituary on 6 January about Ulla, the last of the grand old "princesas" of the trans ghetto of Genoa, who took so many TGirls under her wing. If you want to know more about the trans ghetto of Genoa, see my page on the photography of Lisetta Carmi: Identities. Ulla was subject to annoyance by the police throughout her life as she never transitioned despite living as a woman, and when an ordinance from the city authorities as recently as 2009 tried to close down certain venues for "immorality", the locals stood with the trans community as the girls actually kept crime out of their patch. 

The paper's monthly health supplement has five pages on the gradual weakening of the Y chromosome that has just been sequenced, on the implications of that for men in the long term, on non-binary people, on gender dysphoria and how begging governments for trans rights is unjust. 

I'm not looking out for articles on trans subjects specifically, these just crop up regularly in my normal reading of mainstream media articles here. And they are all trans supportive, just accepting being trans as a reality of life. For all the noisy hate that some politicians and TERFS spew as a distraction from the chaos and corruption they create, I think society as a whole is broadly trying to understand us and acknowledge our difficulties.

I'll be continuing to post the positive stuff.

Sanremo Festival aftermath

My last two posts on the annual Sanremo Song Festival seem to have generated a great deal of interest, to judge by the stats. The overall winner was Angelina Mango, who will present her song La Noia ("Boredom") at the Eurovision Song Contest in Malmö, Sweden, on 7-11 May. 

For me the champion was Big Mama with her song La rabbia non ti basta ("Anger just isn't enough for you"), a song condemning childhood bullying and abuse. Her support for LGBT people, and those suffering in one way or another, was pretty unequivocal during the show. It's not really my kind of music but I wish her well. Great outfits, too!

Anyway, some are saying it was the best festival ever. The outgoing mayor hopes the event can be extended to two weeks in future. That's all very well for the hospitality industry, but it's chaos for us ordinary mortals who need the bank or the department store or even want a coffee in town during that time as these businesses close so as to be given over to radio execs and TV engineers. "Good for the economy" is a phrase that never quite seems to include me!

Sue x

Influential allies

 For every transphobe, there are a dozen allies.

I was about to sit down and pen this post last night when all the lights went out. There was a blackout of the whole area and while it lasted it was actually quite nice to have dinner by candlelight and see other homes with just a similar flicker in their windows. Strangely, at the same time, the fire brigade came to put out a small fire that had broken out in the telephone exchange opposite. And when I got to my laptop it had somehow got zapped, presumably in some pre-blackout surge and wouldn't work properly. Thankfully, it seems OK now. What a weird evening!

In a world where crazed men like Putin make promoting the international LGBT "movement" (as he calls it) very illegal, with penalties similar to those for murder for people and organisations supporting LGBT rights, you do wonder what we are coming to. But then Putin is rather obviously on the wrong side of history. And there's little doubt that many governments are trying to focus public disaffection about high living costs and other failings onto people other than themselves, such as refugees or minorities like us. For every act of hate, though, I continually see endless open support for LGBT people from influential quarters. All this year I have been able to report on art exhibitions, media promotions and news that shows trans people in a positive light or how they are mistreated and shouldn't be.

This week the monthly health supplement to my daily broadsheet newspaper has a four-page spread on the research into the Y chromosome that suggests its inherent weakness and uncertainty over whether it actually promotes masculinity as previously thought, and on human gender variety being normal and to be expected.

The Pope, leader of a religion that has been an inveterate enemy of ours for centuries, tells his peers to go easy on LGBT people. Maybe he's realising that his church's intrasigence and intolerance are putting people off.

Doctor Who, an amazingly popular and influential Sci-Fi TV show that has been running for sixty years, has a trans character, Rose (played by a trans actress Yasmin Finney), and the show's writer and producer, Russel T Davies, described transphobes thus: "there are some people who are full of absolute hate and venom and destruction and violence and would like to see that sort of thing wiped off the screen entirely... Shame on you and good luck to you in your lonely lives." High-profile actor David Tennant, one of the many who has played the Dr Who character, has been a ferocious trans ally for a long time.

I also enjoyed this article in the UK's Independent newspaper about a trans woman's major influence on the microchip revolution and how she overcame prejudice: Lynn Conway. Well done to her. Now, Lynn, about my laptop going weird on me last night ...

These are just the most obvious pro-trans items I have come across this week alone. It's the same every week. I don't despair yet, though I know we have a fight on our hands. Thanks once again to allies and supporters who keep pushing back against the hate, prejudice and ignorance.

Weight loss

I had hope to lose a bit more weight in November but I made the mistake of eating a chocolate sponge pudding on Thursday and that wrecked my losing streak. Chocolate, the devil of devils! Anyway, in November I lost 9 pounds overall, so I have 41 to lose by May. Still, that's a good loss and I'm not complaining. 

A dip in the archives

Here's another photo from my old memory card. Did they name the street after me? Or do I just gravitate vainly to where I will be recognised?

Manchester, 2014.

Sue x

Identities, 1960s trans photographic exhibition

 I left my post about the exploding bra up for a week as it seemed to gather more than usual interest! I guess if it gave people a laugh then the bra may not have died in vain. One consequence of my post is that the Almighty Algorithm that knows and sees all things has been plying me with adverts for enhancer bras all week. 

Anyway, enough of that silliness. I wanted to tell you about the exhibition I saw in London last week of the photos taken in the port of Genoa, Italy, in the 1960s by Lisetta Carmi. 

As well as dockers and steelworkers, she photographed the lives of girls in the trans community there, ingratiating herself with a normally cautious group of people and recording their existence without judgment or comment. Carmi was well aware of prejudice and hate: as a Jewish girl of 14, she had fled to Switzerland in 1938 when Mussolini decided that some Hitler-style anti-Jewish legislation was what was needed. Given that crossdressing was illegal in Italy from 1931 to 1981, you can understand the community's reticence to be documented.

I have mentioned her photography before here. But this time I got to see it for myself at the Estorick Collection of Modern Italian Art in Islington in North London, a rather nice little museum with a lovely café where they serve Italian food for lunch. I went with my trans-supportive friend Daniela who visited me in Italy recently (see Encouragement) and we were impressed with the amazing photos that documented both people at work and trans girls so clearly and honestly. Some girls are posing in their finery; some are just sitting, indoors or out; some girls are out on the town or at parties; others are soliciting; still others are just musing. What statement fashions they had in the '60s, though!

Some of Carmi's thoughts on the trans community:

I immediately understood that these were human beings who experienced, and suffered deeply from, the contradictions of our society, a minority that was both sought out and rejected.

By observing them, I understood how all that is masculine may also be feminine, and vice versa. There are no obligatory behavioural models outside those of an authoritarian tradition that is imposed on us from childhood.

Her conclusion: we are all human and all merit dignity.

To see some of the photos and read more about them, here are some links.

Here's the link to the gallery's page: Lisetta Carmi at the Estorick.

Here's a review of this exhibition in the UK's daily Guardian newspaper: Lisetta Carmi Identities review.

There are many reviews online of this important exhibition. In my opinion, the best is this one by Anna McNay in Studio International, again with photos and also touching on Carmi's own gender uncertainties: Lisetta Carmi: Identities

And here's another link to the 2019 article from Frieze Masters issue 8 that I included in my post three years ago and that has some photos that didn't feature in this exhibition: The Intimate Lives of Genoa's 1960s Trans Comunity.

I bought the catalogue with all the photos in as I'd like to keep a souvenir.

They also have select postcards:

The exhibition is on at the Estorick until December 17th. It's easy to get to as it's very close to Highbury and Islington Underground station.

I'll end with this meme that someone posted on Facebook which I feel encapsulates every image of a trans person I have ever come across: no matter the era or the fashion or the culture, we have always been here.

Sue x

Roaming and rehoming

 I have just seen another friend off to the airport. It was good to have him stay again and we did a lot of exploring in the area known as the Riviera of Flowers. There are pictures below of some of the more dramatic and unusual sights.

He's my oldest friend; we've known each other since our teens and he's been fully supportive of my trans life and has come out with me and the girls on occasion. His mother died some years ago and although he took a lot of her old clothes to charity shops not long after, he hasn't touched her favourite dresses and better items. He's asked me if I can go through them and give them a suitable home. His late mother was my size in both dresses and shoes so I will be glad to give any ones I like a home with me. I did ask if he was OK with someone else being seen in his mother's clothes as many people are very sentimental about that sort if thing but he chuckled and said he had no such feelings and that his mother would probably enjoy the slightly subversive idea of a transwoman inheriting her wardrobe. So I may have a few additions to my clothes collection soon, and items that suit me less I can offer within the trans community. 

I'm going to Britain next week and that will be one item on the agenda. Another is sorting through my own household effects which were put into storage before the pandemic and haven't moved since. It's time to get them rehomed.

Here are some pictures from our adventures over the last few days.

Passionflowers.

Sanremo from the harbour, with Monte Nero, the first of the Alps, behind.

The lush jungle in the gardens of Villa Ormond, Sanremo: bananas, banyans and more.

 

The root of the problem. Moreton Bay figs ripping up the paths in the gardens of Villa Ormond. The triffids are among us.

Turtlemania! Japanese Garden, Sanremo.

From the beach at Bordighera you can see three countries: Italy in the foreground, France on the right and Monaco on the left.

 

A huge cactus in a private garden in Bordighera. The label says it was grown from seed in 1955.

The world's northernmost date palm grove is at Bordighera, perhaps originally planted by Carthaginians in the first millennium BC. Bordighera is nicknamed the City of Palms and these trees supply palm fronds to the Vatican City for use there on Palm Sunday. They also produce dates for eating! Down the steep valley you can see some tombs in the British cemetery, from the days when a colony of 2000 Brits lived in the town which had only 1000 Italians.

The Beodo trail through the palm grove has a cat feeding station every half mile or so. I assume there is a crazy cat lady who indulges the pussies' whims every day. We met several overfed cats on our walk who seemed quite insistent that we should fill their empty bowls.

 

We followed the palm and kitty trail as far as this soaring viaduct that carries the E80 or Trans-European Motorway. This runs from Lisbon to Mount Ararat where it joins Asian Highway 1 to Tokyo, a total distance of 26,659 km or 16,566 miles. That's a pretty scary distance to drive!

Talking of highways, here is a Roman milestone that used to stand by the Via Julia Augusta, the main road from Italy to Gaul and Spain. DXC on the lowest line of the inscription = 590 miles from the forum in Rome. It was repurposed over a thousand years ago to as a column in the crypt of the church of St Michael in Ventimiglia.

There are two more Roman milestones repurposed as holy water stoops in the church above.

 

I'm now packing to go to Britain. I'm a bit apprehensive but I hope my trip will go well. I like where I now live - the climate suits me very well. But I am missing a lot of my stuff and getting my life back into alignment after several years of chaos would be calming.

Sue x

Encouragement

 I had a very nice time with my trans-supportive friend who came to stay. A woman who has been married for fifty years, with two children and two grandchildren - very much a traditional family person, therefore - but who previously was happy to share an art studio with me and display my transgender artworks at an exhibition she organised, go out with me as Sue and be totally unjudgmental. 

In fact, she has given me a lot of encouragement over the last few days. As well as suggesting that I am not as overweight as I think I am (thank you!), she suggested that moving where I now live was a good idea and that therefore I should settle properly and make closer contact with the trans community here. The latter pretty much matches my own sentiment.

I lent her my pink umbrella for the rain and would have lent her my swimming costume only she didn't, in the end, get a chance to swim. 

There is nothing like having the positive support and encouragement of someone outside the trans community. She doesn't understand why I'm trans but then neither do I. A calm acceptance of people as they are as long as they're not hurting anyone is all that is required. So as allies go, she is tops.

Anyway, we did a bit of sightseeing, ate some very nice food out, hired a two-seat rickshaw on the cycleway, had a good catch up with each other and with a close friend of ours via social media. I have just seen her off on the next leg of her journey to Rome. I may see her again next month if I go to England.

So, all in all, a very happy couple of days.

 

Defuzz 

Well, our pool is now closed until the summer season next year. It's a pity as I love swimming there every day but they can't justify the costs of running it and employing a lifeguard for just the few users you would get in the low season. 

The plus side is that since I no longer have to present as male for pool purposes, I can get rid of this horrid body hair that I've necessarily let grow. I hate it. But now I get to remove it and be much more feminine again.

There's always a plus side!

 

Pretty things

I have been growing lettuces these last few years, courtesy of the local paper that included packets of seeds once a week during the Covid lockdowns so that readers could grow a kitchen garden at home whilst stuck indoors. It was something cheerful and productive to do at that bad time. It turned out to be a massively popular gesture and readers would send in photos of their tomatoes, chilli peppers or whatnot with thanks. So popular, in fact, that we now get seeds in the paper regularly. 

Lenny the Lettuce was a triumph as he was the last of my initial crop of lettuces and went to seed before I could eat him. Lenny's children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and great great grandchildren have continued to fill my salad bowl since.

Here's a different species that's now flowered before being cropped and I post it as the flowers are so pretty. I don't think I'll bother with ornamental flowers next year as my veg are just as pretty and a lot tastier, too!

Spring was very late this year so I have only started to see small lizards regularly among my pots in the last few weeks. There was a big fat gecko the other evening. These reptiles are not to everyone's liking, but they are harmless and eat undesirable bugs. Geckos have such cute toes!

 

I shoo pigeons away from my rail because they make a nasty mess, but there is a pair of collared doves who are very much in love and I let them settle there. They often share kisses there and since I am an incurable romantic I think it's lovely.

There's also a pair of wagtails who visit my terrace regularly, looking for any bugs the lizards have overlooked. They're nice, too.

Sue x

Raising the trans profile

 Despite all the anti-trans hate these days, I am not inclined to despair. You see, there's good news from two of my friends this week, and from others similarly promoting the profile of trans people. Many fields of endeavour accept alternative people readily, such as performing arts and academia. 

 

Trans theatre this summer

There are quite a number of trans themed theatrical performances this summer. Starting with my friend Grace Statton's performance in Gary at the Cockpit Theatre in London on 10 August.

Gary tells a story of love, self-hate and identity confusion when you realise you are what you fear. Looking at bigotry, identity, trans narratives and community, this show will resonate with some and hopefully bring joy to all.

Things are going to change... Just not in the way Gary expects. He wants your vote to make his little piece of London great again. However, after a protest gets out of hand outside a library hosting a drag queen story time, Gary wakes up in hospital. With no memory of who he was, how does he tell the world who he really wants to be? And how will the world around him react? How will HE react when he finds out who he was - someone who would hate everything about the person of the present. And how does he deal with the fact that he is now perhaps she!

Gary has a lot of thinking to do and a very short time to do it.

More info and to book a ticket: Gary

 

Gary is not the only trans play on this summer. Vladimir Luxuria, a very well known trans person here in Italy as she was a member of parliament, is performing at the nearby Borgo Verezzi Festival in Princesa, a play about the life of a controversial Brazilian transwoman, Fernanda Farias de Albuquerque (1963-2000). 

Vladimir Luxuria by Sergio D'Afflitto

The Avignon Festival in France has just hosted a long-running play Giovanni! Awaiting the Bomb, a somewhat surreal solo performance to music about outsider artist Giovanni Galli whose troubled mental state and gender dysphoria is reflected in his life and art. 

Giovanni! En attendant la bombe. Promotional image.

 

Trans academics

The other friend I mentioned, Jan Eldridge, has now become full professor of astrophysics at the University of Auckland, New Zealand, and heads the physics department there, as well as being a visible advocate for trans rights. Her inaugural lecture aimed at non-specialists, "Exploding Binaries", referring to both stars and genders, can be watched here (53 mins):  

Few of my readers will be experts in binary stars but most will know enough about the gender binary already. Jan does emphasise the importance of great hair and pretty nails here, and I'm sure we can all relate to that! I hope to see Jan again next time I visit New Zealand. Here's us in 2011.

So it's good to have another leading academic who is trans. Another professor I know is Sophie Grace Chappell of the Open University in Britain who has a lot to say about being trans (take this in the Guardian newspaper, for instance: Harry Potter helped me become a woman.)

I notice that a new Professorial Chair of LGBTQ+ History has just been created at Oxford University, the first such post in the UK. This is exciting news, too.

Thanks to all these folk for presenting trans life to the real world. And for arts and academic worlds for offering plenty of scope for trans people to lead their best lives. 

Sue x