So I joined a gym at New Year and today I plucked up the courage to attend. My new power leggings and sporty crop top made me look the part even if I didn't feel it.
But, do you know, despite all my initial misgivings, I think I might get to like it there. This amazing looking machine really caught my eye so I asked the hunky instructor if he'd show me how to use it.
He was so helpful. "It's easy," he said, "you just select the setting, put a coin in the slot, and a snack pops out the bottom!"
Well, I thought I'd start with a little joke! So sue me! No, I haven't joined a gym, and I don't have sporty gymwear. I do have a craving for snacks right now, so don't ask how the weight loss is going!
I do also have potent dysphoria at the moment and I will confess that one of the reasons for planning this little trip across southern France to Barcelona is to get the feel for places that are known for being LGBT havens. Where I live in Italy at the moment is lovely and the climate is ideal, but it's not obviously a place for TGirls to romp unnoticed, which is why I've not presented as Sue out here yet (aside from Covid, of course).
I've been frustrated in finding a makeover service in Barcelona so far. There used to be several but Covid seems to have killed business to the point that they no longer operate. Research continues. It's the sort of place with an easy-going attitude to LGBT life (like London used to be) and a night out with some girls there would be fun despite that language barrier. The same goes, to an extent, for places I'll be stopping at along the way.
As I head towards formal retirement I can't help but want to spend my last years as a full-time woman. My natural caution and some medical and practical difficulties have prevented my transitioning ... so far. But it's not off the cards. For me life works as a woman, it's agreeable as a woman, but not so much as a man. I think that's because being trans is not just about clothes and makeup but about how one feels and how one interacts with the world. That macho, competitive, assured world of men is simply not for me. So I am still looking - without stressing though - for a place where a transwoman might best build her transformative cocoon if she so chose. I'll see what I find, practically and emotionally on my trip, and report back.