Try-ons - black is groovy!

 I've been going through a lot of the clothes I have to see if there's anything to get rid of, and trying out some stuff that I have bought recently, or that I can't remember ever buying or even wearing before.

The theme at the moment is black as I've tried my new black nail varnish and I'm liking it. A bit vampy, a bit goth, timeless yet modern. 

 

I decided the toes needed the treatment, too. 

 

The varnish has lasted well all week.

It's been hot but I don't do bare legs no matter the weather, so stockings have been preferable to tights/pantyhose. I hardly ever wear stockings as I find suspenders and hold-ups annoying (I know, I know, that admission probably gets me thrown out of any crossdresser clubs, right?) but with the unexpected heatwave it's been worth making the change and some pairs of stockings I've had for many years were put into service. They're still serviceable as they've hardly been worn!

So here's me this week going for an all-black theme and smokey eye makeup. But there's a hint of red in my hair and on my lips.

I prefer tights, ssshhh!

The patent boots are brand new, the leather skirt a couple of years old, the sheer-sleeved top about 10 years old.

 

I've no idea where and when I got a black, long-sleeved skater dress but I really like it. It's good in hot weather and it flows very nicely.

I tried it with a straight black wig for a bit more of a Morticia vibe.

 

But actually this dress came into its own with the longer red/brown wig, lace tights and court shoes. I think gives me a cute, almost Sixties look.

Sixties album cover art. Groovy, baby!

 

I think the dress is a keeper. 

These Jonathan Aston "fleur" lace tights must be 20 years old as they appear in my late 2008 makeover photos (towards the end of this post). But they're beginning to get imperfections and I really hope they still make them as they are very light, very pretty and very comfortable and I'd love to be able to get a replacement pair.

I also tried the dress with fishnet stockings and the patent boots and I think that worked well, too.

 

There's more to come on the black theme and on other try-ons but that will do for now. Comments welcome. 

 

Pride Month needs you

 

Although Pride events are scattered all over the calendar, June is Pride Month to coincide with the anniversary of the 1969 Stonewall Riots. Fellow blogger Carla in Spain has just put it so well as to why Pride matters. 

I shall be posting a host of positive things about LGBTQ+++ themes this month, starting with this enjoyable documentary I watched recently from Sadlers Wells Theatre in London, which is one of the world's foremost theatres that focuses on dance and where I've been thrilled by many performances from unusual places and traditions round the world, such as Georgia, Japan, Libya, Spain.... The documentary is about the Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo, the drag ballet parody company that was formed shortly after Stonewall and which, in its sixth decade, is going from strength to strength. I have little understanding of classical ballet as an art form so even the parody is a bit lost on me but I have always had a thing for ballerinas. I found the film fascinating, honest, impressive, poignant ...and making me wish that I could dance like this (well, it's not so much the dance as the tutu, isn't it?)

"Ballerina Boys" is 55 minutes on YouTube:

 

Happy Pride.

Sue x

Big new boosts for trans youngsters (and older ones!)

 It's not all bad news for trans rights. Here are three very positive news items from the last few days, ending this month on a real high.

 

Scouts and guides

Italy has a large but very fragmented scouting culture and there has always been a number of competing scouting associations. Some are lay or non-religious or non-denominational and others are Catholic and have a religious component to their activities. The largest Catholic association, AGESCI, has around 185,000 members from the age of 8 upwards, and after many years of discussion in committee, it has come all out in favour of LGBT scouts and guides. So if you are a trans girl you can be a girl guide in their association. And trans boys can be scouts. Although I think girls have been accepted as scouts for some time now anyway. 

"We are not afraid of losing members," says the document issued by the AGESCI management committee this week. "For us the acceptance of anyone and everyone comes first and foremost. We make no distinction between boys and girls." They go on to state that homophobia and transphobia have been an obstacle to bringing their scout and guide packs closer together and that they feel that recognition of LGBT rights within their organisation is non-negotiable.

This is a very big step, and obviously a carefully considered one for an organisation that is affiliated to the Roman Catholic church which is one of the fiercest critics of LGBT rights. This move does follow evidence that people in Catholic dominated countries are not prepared simply to take orders from the clergy any more but to act according to their social conscience, as we have witnessed in, for example, recent referendums in the Republic of Ireland and the Catholic cantons of Switzerland where gay marriage has been clearly endorsed by the public.

 

Young people nowadays

It's always been said throughout history that "today's" younger generation is rude, wild and out of control, in contrast to the past. If you read back through opinion pieces, literature, laws and other texts throughout history, this is a repeating meme. It's something the media have always loved to harp on. Logically, this notion can only mean that Ug and Ogga from the Caveman Days had children who were little saints and it's all been downhill ever since. Really?

I read in the science press this month about several peer-reviewed studies of young people's behaviour and outlook, with reference in some cases to crime statistics, historic school records and the like. A very brief summary of the evidence, mainly from the USA, concludes that young people nowadays, far from being on the road to delinquency, are more tolerant, more empathetic, less neurotic and antisocial, more accepting of others (notably in LGBT matters), are less likely to become involved in crime, take drugs or get drunk than in the past; that IQ is rising and that most want to make something of themselves. This is super positive and it may well be that in a post-Trump, post-Putin world, where our young get to thrive, society could be really good.

Just as a footnote on this theme, my grandfather wrote some memoirs of childhood (which he didn't publish, sadly), about growing up in the Nineteen-Teens around the time of the First World War when he and his many siblings used to be pretty wild, playing all sorts of irresponsible pranks and doing dangerous stunts, like picking the lock of the firearms cupboard where rifles for the local Volunteer Training Corps were kept and shooting the fire station bell to make a satisfying clang all over the neighbourhood, or devising a flame-thrower from a garden sprayer that burnt the rose bushes to ash, or riding round on a motorbike wearing monkey masks and doffing their hats to the startled city traffic. Despite this career of violent youthful pastimes, neither he nor his brothers and sisters grew into irresponsible adults. As he said in his defence, given that at the time the grown-ups of Europe were busy gassing and shelling and bombing each other, his generation could hardly be blamed for being a bit wild.

 

Cannes Film Festival

Finally, last week I mentioned a couple of lesbian themed films that opened the nearby Cannes Film Festival. There have been other LGBT films showing there, and very pro-LGBT directors and stars like Pedro Almodovar and Penelope Cruz. 

The one film that seems exclusively dedicated to a trans theme is Cœur secret (A Secret Heart) by Tom Fontenille. The blurb:

Over the last 4 years, Lilou left her secret life behind, becoming a 64-year-old woman who enjoys DIY, gardening, cycling and looking after her grandchildren. As I accompanied her through her transformation [sic], I filmed a family healing its wounds and reinventing a place for everyone. This is my family, Lilou is my father. 

It's not so common to find a view of transition from a child's point of view rather than from that of the transitioner, their partner, friends or support team. It should be coming out in selected cinemas shortly.

 

Long weekend

Tuesday, June 2nd, is a public holiday here so the intervening Monday tends to get filled in with a day of annual leave to create what's called a "bridge". So it's basically a four-day weekend here when life won't be as normal. 

So what's a TGirl to do? Why, get dolled up, of course! I'm just trying out my new black nail varnish and have gone for a vampish look to start with...

 

More photos after the weekend.

I'm also inventing new slimming but filling and nutritious recipes, like this concoction of spinach, chard, escarole lettuce and turnip greens with an egg and some mozzarella cheese, and a chilli pepper thrown in to liven it up. All local ingredients, very tasty and ideal for the season. Here's my dish part-way through cooking.

 

 

Comments

Thank you for all your interesting, encouraging, funny and otherwise worthwhile comments this year. I do appreciate feedback and interaction. The only requirement is to sign up to Blogger, which I've found a very effective way of reducing spam almost to nothing. 

Have a good weekend. 

Sue x  

Why do you want to be a woman?

 Questions, questions. 

I've often been asked "So why do you want to be a woman?"

It's the wrong question. I don't want to be a woman. Being trans is something that I am, that happened to me, that I have no say in, like my genes or skin colour. There's nothing I can do about it. I wish I wasn't trans but there we are. I do what I can with it in the circumstances I find myself in.

"Are you a woman?" 

I'd like to be treated as one.

"What, even though women have worse pay, suffer more violence and are usually second-class citizens?"

Even that. 

"But you have been a man."

We all play our roles in life. Your behaviour as a parent is not the same as your behavior at work or in the gym or whatever other roles you have. You act the part and stay safe.

"But why wear skirts? Most of us women wear trousers."

True, and so do I quite often, but a skirt gives me a more obvious feminine shape, it signals femininity more clearly and, since I've been forced to wear trousers for much of my life, I'd rather have something more obviously different. What we wear is not just for warmth and decency but is also a strong social signal. 

"But can't you wear a skirt for men, like a kilt?"

A kilt is a man's garment and that's not the deal here. 

And so on. I've been interrogated like this many times, usually by women, some out of curiosity, some more aggressively. It's sometimes hard to judge what is interest expressed poorly and what is rude intrusion.

"What's your real name?"

Sue.

"No, I mean your real name."

Still Sue. 

"So, like, have you had the operation?"

Have you always been rude? 

Is this how you normally approach strangers?  

It gets boring, sometimes weird, always uncomfortable, and sometimes nasty. As trans people, I think we've all been there. If you're not trans, please simply get to know your trans person in a normal way, and the answers to your questions will doubtless emerge in due time.

 

Blue nails, and other colours

So I've been experimenting with new nail varnishes and I tried the blue one, a colour I've never used before. But blue is for boys, right? (see conversations above.)

 

It needed two coats as it was very watery, which is one downside of getting a cheap one. The upside of getting a cheap one is that you don't lose much money if you don't like it, and so far I don't like it.

I want to try it with some sporty grey leggings and a matching blue top just to see if it works better in a casual context but the weather's been a bit too hot for that. It should cool a bit by the weekend and I'll try again.

Actually, the weather is reasonable for late May here, about 30C, and not as bad as some other places in Europe, but it hit very suddenly. Even I like a slow run-up to hot weather, or cold for that matter.

Anyway, the plants are loving it and there's a riot of colour in the hedgerows here and on plants clambering over the lampposts.   

 

I think my nails might look better with one of these shades!

The statue of Spring on the promenade:

 

Sue x  

Colours of spring

 It's been six months since I had a perfect set of nails. I really wrecked my right index finger last autumn. And I mean wrecked: I've never had such damage so as to bleed and have to bandage it for several weeks. And my right thumb keeps breaking and getting caught on things. I'm not sure what this spate of bad luck is all about. Anyway, last week I bought lots of new nail varnishes in colours I've never tried before, so I'm starting to give them a go and see how I feel about them.

First up: lilac. Or Rimmels' "Lovey Dovey".

 

Quite pretty, and it would go well with some items I've got, like this tunic top. 

 

I'll try out the other colours one by one.

 

Beautiful Sussex 

I got back from my trip to England safely and it was such a success that I've booked another trip there in July. Two weekends ago I went to stay with a friend and former colleague (she was my mentor in an office job once). She retired ages ago and is now 80 but you would never guess to see her aliveness and I wanted to see her before she moves North to be closer to her son.

It was a beautiful spring weekend in the Sussex Weald, the classic rolling landscape of Southern England. She has a very pretty garden full of songbirds, woodpeckers, nuthatches and more. We went to the historic garden of Sheffield Park which was vibrant in the spring sunshine. The background photo on my blog was taken at nearby Painshill Park, also designed in the 18th century by Capability Brown and both are classic English landscape gardens that look natural but are wholly artificial. I'm not sure my nail polish can match some of these colours...

Coot nest with four chicks

Five Canada goslings. They're sweet at this age. Then they grow up and become a pest!

 

David Attenborough

Many happy returns to Sir David "Whispering Dave" Attenborough on his 100th birthday. 

Known all over the world as an excellent broadcaster he is also an approachable, personable man. He lived close to my primary school and came and told us about animals one day. He could often be seen strolling to the shops locally in the same bush jacket he wore on his jungle escapades. Altogether a nice, genuine man and it's great to hear he is in good health at such an impressive age.

I'm not sure my pictures of water bird chicks above will win any wildlife photography prizes, but treat them as a birthday card from an appreciative viewer.

Sue x 

Smiles and goodies

 In the interests of positive blogging when the world news is less satisfactory, I'd like to acknowledge some acts of kindness by ordinary people in the last few days. And note some fun girl things I brought home from London. 

I went for a walk around the London neighbourhood I used to live in. In the eight years I have been away, some things have changed and some things are the same. I spotted a shopkeeper who is the smiliest, gentlest and happiest person I have ever met and she recognised me through the window of her shop and was as friendly and welcoming as ever; it was almost like I had never been away. It really made my day. If there were more people like her the world would be very beautiful. 

I arrived at an Underground station yesterday to catch the train to the airport laden with over 40 kg of luggage only to find there was no lift or escalator, only a staircase seemingly as infinite as Jacob's Ladder. I boggled at the mountaineering to be done but a fit young man leapt to my rescue and took the heaviest case up for me. I appreciated his thoughtful kindness very much and said so.

At the airport, where the staff are often acerbic and even abusive, I was given good advice and help on check-in and, at security, one young man who had to check my hand baggage was polite, kind and apologetic for the inconvenience in a way I have never known before. Both, incidentally, were British Asian, the sort of people the current crop of nasty political parties and their many followers detest.

At one of my favourite local restaurants in my old neighbourhood - a Nepalese one - the owner said he no longer offered my favourite dish on his official menu but would make it for me anyway. It was probably the best curry I have ever had.

My cis friends were very keen to know how my trans life was going and if I was getting enough support, and were condemnatory of the transphobia that is prevalent in official circles these days. It's good to have allies who step up without being asked.

And lovely Stephanie, despite the stress and inconvenience, took three crowded buses to meet me in defiance of the London Underground strike when normally she would have taken just a single train. 

It takes very little to make people happy, just a kind word or action at the right moment. 

 

Lips, nails, eyes

I've now bought the stock of new nail varnishes I'd intended to before Christmas but didn't buy at the time as I suffered a very badly broken nail that's taken ages to heal (Pampering & replenishing). There are colours that I've never tried before like lilac, blue and black. 

 

And I got some new smart lipsticks as intended. Rimmel's alarm red has always been my go-to everyday item but there are three others from No 7, in red, pink and plum. I also got some new eye shadow.

Yes, I know they sell makeup where I now live but you get used to certain products and brands so since I was in familiar territory I thought I'd take the opportunity.

 

Clothes store

I still have most of my clothes in storage. It's been a while since they fit me! But I rationalised the packing cases with all my fem clothes so they have been reduced from 18 to 16, including my wigs, now down from two crates to one, and my hosiery from three crates to two. Can you really have too many tights? 

I found and brought home some items I'd forgotten I had, like a black skater dress and a silk wrap. I wonder if the dress will look OK! As for the '80s bubblegum pink leggings, I have no idea what to do with those. Still less the legwarmers. How come so many good things got purged in my Age of Denial and not the stuff that was best left behind in the era from which it came?

Wonderfully, I found a whole unopened bottle of one of my very favourite perfumes, Versace's Crystal Noir. This is great as my current bottle was opened so long ago that it's losing its oomph.

I also bought new underwear and, no, you don't get to see it! 

For now my party frocks, LBDs and evening dresses remain packed away until I can squeeze back into them. I'm getting there ... 

Sue x 

A perfect female body, bit by bit

 Every woman is looking for the perfect female body. So is every man. ...An old joke that. This is how mine's coming along, bit by bit.

 

Sports and diet 

It's never dull where I live and there are a lot of big events coming up, not least the Winter Olympics based in Milan, Cortina and other Alpine locations. I watched the Olympic torch being carried past last Saturday.

 

 

I went to a sport-mad school and did enough sports there to last me for pretty much the rest of my life so I have little interest in them now. As far as winter sports go, I did learn to ski 25 years ago and quite enjoyed it but my calculation of enjoyment vs. cold + discomfort + expense is too heavy on the bad stuff to convince me to pursue it. So, last Saturday, rather than getting into a sporty mood after the torch ceremony, I treated myself at my favourite restaurant. Lifting forks to my mouth is great forearm exercise and I have fabulous wrists as a result of daily practice. I chose the leanest things on the menu: an octopus starter, then fresh pasta with cuttlefish ink and sauce, both really good. I was a good girl and had no wine. I've lost over 3 kilos (half a stone) since New Year so I'm back on track for the body shape I want.

 

Surgery 

Talking of a perfect female body, my friend Roz, who had her gender recognition surgery, facial feminisation surgery and breast augmentation surgery all done last year (but thankfully not all at the same time), tells me she is more proportioned, more feminine and very, very happy indeed. I'm very, very happy for her, too. For once, it seems that someone got good surgery throughout, so a definite win for transition there.

 

Nails 

The one thing that I was looking forward to a couple of months ago was having fun with nail varnish. Unfortunately, shortly after that, I managed to break a nail on my right hand very badly. Half the entire nail was cracked, and the bleeding and bruising were severe. I had to bandage my finger for a couple of weeks, in fact. Strangely, I've no idea how it happened. Other nails are damaged too. It's been over six weeks since the accident and it'll take several more to get back to where I was. 

This week I have been sniffing around the January sales. Yes, there are various boring household appliances I need to get but I am looking for that killer dress, yet to be spotted. I'll buy some new nail varnish when my nails are ready for it. 

 

Legs 

As for legs, it's not the first time I've enthused about Marks & Spencer Body Sensor 40 denier tights but, as last winter, I have been wearing these most days and they are terrific. 

 

Durable, with a good quality/price ratio, they team equally well with smart or casual looks. Warm yet not too thick, I find they don't slip down even after many washes or as the day progresses, and pill only slowly. I've not laddered any and damage has been only toe holes after long use. Highly recommended, therefore. These are my current Top Tights and probably second best ever (first was John Lewis 15 denier run resistant sheer gloss tights, sadly discontinued). I note you can get them in 30, 60, 80, 100 and 120 D, too, and they're now £9 for 3 in UK stores. I have always opted for opaques in 70D but these do a warming job just as well. So well done, M&S. 

Wearing M&S 40D Body Sensor tights

 

Keep warm

Keep warm and stay pretty this winter. It's certainly warmed up here since last week, which was uniquely cold, and these past two days I've eaten lunch outside. So has this early bumblebee. I've never seen one so soon after new year.

 

Have a nice weekend. For good mental health, don't watch the news but get into your favourite outfit and feel happy. 

Sue x 

Boot quest and sights in the sky

There's all this talk of big discounts this week so I have been looking for bargains.

The shops themselves are a bit crazy and, frankly, as I mentioned before about sales, there seems to be little of interest. No matter, there's always online shopping, right? So, armed with my credit card, I set about looking at nail varnish, and also ankle boots that I definitely need. 

There are what look like nice sets of nail varnishes, some in Christmas boxes. But beware with the gift sets: most pots of nail varnish are around 10 ml. These gift pots are 3.75 ml, 2.5 ml, even 1 ml! The average teaspoon is 5 ml so unless you're a child or plan to use your gift varnish just once, forget it! I soon decided that the only proper way to buy makeup is to get your paws on it in a shop. 

The ankle boots, however, produced more interesting results. This week I have been relying on a cheap pair I bought as an emergency last year in Primark in Manchester, UK, after my much loved German-made pair from Tomcat Leather in London became too scuffed and lost a heel block. These cheap ones are comfortable and a nice enough shape but I hate the tapered chunky heel. 

 

So I'm looking for something similar to my old favourite pair, which were these:

                

Ideally, I want quality, and that means spending money. So I spent some hours going through the sites of good shoe makers such as Geox, retailers in Italy such as Rinascente, and even foreign brands such as Clark's, and there were pairs that were high quality and not bad but, again, the style is all-important, especially if a pair costs €120 or more even after Black Friday and new customer discounts. Heel shape and heel height are paramount to me. The inverted kitten heel? - no. Flat heel? - what? no! seriously?! 6-inch stiletto? - sadly, not even when I was clubbing! I want a tapered or at least rounded 3-inch heel. Always.

In the end there was nothing that quite met my criteria. As I was giving up, I bimbled through a cheap retailer's site, Pittarosso, who have lots of stuff that possibly falls apart and pinches but they had perfect styles, perfect heels and also a pair of shoes that remind me of a favourite pair ... and since they do click and collect, which means no awkward moments if the neighbours notice fem shoes arriving, I got three items for the price I would have paid for one. OK, they won't last as long but that, I'm afraid, is shoe retailing in the 21st century. I'll let you know what I think when I've been to my nearest outlet to collect them, which should be within a week.

 

From looking down to looking up

The nights have been very clear this week and I have seen some amazing things in the sky. I even have a stargazing outfit, you know! I saw a fata morgana or mirage, and there's another planet to tick off my list. 

When I went to see the British cemetery at Bordighera I went home by train and the station is right by the beach so you can see the sunset over the sea. But what happened that evening is that far-distant  headlands and islands off the coast that are just on or even just below the horizon appeared stretched upwards and looked like jagged mountains rising from the waves. If you don't know this coast I guess you'll have to take my word for it and my photo, annoyingly, has station furniture in it but here it is. 

 

The evening colours are nice. Here's the Wiki explanation for a fata morgana like this. It's not the only time I've seen such here. In late May at sunset the conditions are such that you can often see the mountaintops of Corsica nearly 250 km away, and these are actually well below the horizon. 

I have also been gazing at Uranus (stop giggling at the back!) and I can say that this is the first time I have ever consciously seen the tiny bluish blob that is actually a massive planet, although people with decent eyesight in dark locations can see it with their naked eyes. 

Try as I might, I can't see it with my own eyes, but frankly I have trouble seeing anything! So these nights I have been lying out late at night on a sunbed with my binoculars in my warm stargazer outfit of ski pants, two fleeces and puffer jacket, those chunky ankle boots and my wig on to keep warm. Wigs are murder in hot weather but on winter nights they come into their own!

If you're interested, Uranus is currently a few degrees south of the famous Seven Sisters or Pleiades cluster in Taurus. In Western Europe it is just south of the zenith (overhead) at around midnight.

 

Image from Stellarium software

The other aerial phenomenon this week is mosquitoes! We've had next to none this summer and now that winter is almost on us I've been pestered every evening. I hate being woken by the whine in my ear and the pain of a new bite. One little beast ate half my face the other night and thrashing around at four in the morning dealing with an attack is no joke. I keep the wall at the head of my bed unadorned and painted a bare white. This is the killing zone, a bare landscape that no mozzie can hide on. Now do you see why I need better, more robust makeup for my face? It's to hide their little toothmarks!

Eh? What's that? Mosquitoes don't have teeth? Believe me, these ones do!

This species also have sausage-shaped bodies with rusty brown stripes, a bit like overweight prisoners in jail suits. The little whining deliquents!

 

Makeovers and photoshoots part 2

A year ago I posted about my makeovers and photoshoots at the Boudoir dressing service and was going to post about subsequent makeovers and photos this week but I'll do it next month. This is because I feel tribute needs to be paid to Charlotte Sparkle's bridal makeover and photoshoot on her blog, Still in the Pink Fog, and it's never appropriate to upstage a bride! 

Seriously, Lotte planned her makeover and photoshoot thoroughly and the results were stunning. Girls, this is how it should be done. Lotte's wonderful story and gorgeous photos are here: Bridal Makeover and Photoshoot. Many congratulations to her for a well prepared and well executed session.

 

Blogroll update

I've added Michelle's interesting site Between Genders to the blogrooll on the right. More than just a blog, she has a lot of useful thoughts, experiences and knowledge to share there. Thanks for your thoughtful comments here too, Michelle. 

I'll see if I can get the awkward software on Blogger to place this site in position whenever it's updated. It's always a pest to do.

Sadly, I've now taken down the links the Mandy's blogs, From "Me" to "Mandy" on Blogger and Mandy's Miscellany on Wordpress as she was having too much difficulty with both platforms that she hasn't been able to post for a couple of years. Mandy has moved from Maryland to Tennessee to be closer to "the grands" and seems to be well. You can still find her and her amazing painted nails on Flickr.

 

A dip in the archives

I haven't dipped in the archives for ages. I mentioned going to Tomcat Leather in London and buying boots on the day I also bought shoes from Geox. That was in 2014 and there was a lot of meeting up with other girls and restaurants to visit: Two Days of What I Do Best.

 

Comfortable Geox low wedge shoes in cream by the Somerset House fountains, London

Sue x

Pampering and replenishing

 I'm back home after a few weeks away. I decided that what I could really do with now is a good pamper: epilation and, above all, painting my nails. 

My fingernails that I complained had broken a while back were almost back to their ideal length... and then this morning another broke. Aargh! It's the middle finger that's usually the failure point on either hand, maybe because it sticks out further than the others and catches on things more. Or maybe it's just weaker. Nails are a good indicator of dietary health, weaknesses often indicating a lack of minerals or vitamins, but I have a good diet so I doubt it's that.   

I prefer to grow my own nails rather than use stick-on nails. But I have only ever worn nail varnish in pinks and reds and maybe it's time to be more varied and increase my dwindling stock, so I'm looking for a set of varnishes in different colours just for a change. Purple and black, definitely. Maybe blue. A Christmas gift to myself, perhaps?

 

Nice but too little variety ... and too few pots. You can't have too many varnishes!

Looking at my now nearly zero stock of lipstick, I think the same rule applies.

I keep being screamed at from every angle about how Black Friday is coming and how I must grab those bargains, but invariably the stuff on sale is usually rubbish that retailers have found hard to shift. Don't be fooled by the propaganda - in the last 30 years, the shop sales have largely been a junkyard sale. However, I'll doubtless do my usual trip out to see what's available, especially in perfumes, another favourite self-gift. 

It's also time for warmer clothes. Last week when I was away there was a hailstorm - a rare event here - that punched holes in my cactuses! And on Thursday the daytime temperature here dropped to below 10C (50F), there was a waterspout offshore and snow dusted the high ground. On the riviera this is taken as a clear sign of the impending apocalypse and everyone who went out and braved the wrath of the gods was wrapped in their skiwear. Fortunately, things have gone back to a healthier 16C and I have been able to eat outdoors in the sun again. Many thanks to that dear trans friend who sent me a picture of her sitting on an iceberg in Greenland during a recent cruise, plus details of how she's planned a trip to Norway in January, but I'll stick to warmer climes for my holidays, thanks! That said, the cardigans are out, and the thicker tights and the boots. Summer frocks are lovely but there's something to be said for winter elegance. 

I haven't succumbed to putting the central heating on yet this year but that may be just a matter of days. Still, it's a contrast with my life in Britain where I always had the heating prepared for switch-on any time in September. I don't do cold! 

So thinking towards Christmas ... since I've never had family or partners buy me any girl gifts, although occasionally female or trans friends have done (thank you!), I've usually given myself a little something. In the early days it was lingerie, then hosiery and after that perfume. It looks like it'll be colourful new lips and nails this year.

Sue x 

Domestic goddess in need of nail care and jewellery

Not a very fem time all in all this autumn but there's a lull between having had friends to stay and before I go off to help a relative who will be coming out of hospital. As if to emphasize the low fem vibe, I have broken every nail on both hands in one way or another these last few weeks. I take care of my nails as I love having them long and neat, and they're even better when painted, but for some reason I've battered and broken them all. Not at the same time but they've not all been even for a while now. This is distressing. I know the problem will fix itself but that takes time.

Still, as if in compensation, the autumn continues to be glorious with endless sunshine and temperatures in the mid-20s C (that's mid-70s F). I'm still in my summer clothes and nicely tanned. Also, I didn't put on too much weight when my friends were here and we were eating out a lot. Maybe we did enough walking to burn a lot of the calories.

 

Girly wishlist 

Recently, I've been looking out for real Italian leather handbags and belts. Nothing purchased so far but I'm homing in on something colourful rather than the usual black, cream or tan. 

I also need to update, replace and expand my jewellery collection and I've seen some nice items this week. I never buy anything too expensive, just something to decorate and catch the eye. This is my favourite ring which I bought about fifteen years ago in Kingston-upon-Thames and I've been wanting something similar since but have never yet found anything that appealed quite so much. 

 

It's also the season of perfume samplers in the run-up to Christmas so I'm on the look out for a new scent. 

More news if I bring something home. (Oh, and obviously presents along these lines are welcome, Santa!)

 

Domestic goddess 

I've been doing a lot of gardening as everything is growing like crazy and I've planted new cactuses and succulents, which are really cheap at the market. I've found that a pine tree and a palm have started growing in my herb pots. Presumably the seeds were dropped by birds. So I've repotted them and, since forested blocks of flats are all the rage, I shall join that trend and they can join Arnold the Olive, who continues to thrive.

 

It's harvest season and I'm into mushrooms. I got some nice fresh porcini which I straight away made into a tasty stew and pasta sauces, with my own home-grown parsley and chilli thrown in. 

I haven't taken any photos of myself in domestic goddess mode so far because I don't do my hair and makeup properly every day and I do like to look right for a photo. But I do love my home life in a dress or slacks. It just feels completely right and normal.

 

Local events 

This weekend is a local holiday here - yes, they have local and regional public holidays here in Italy as well as national ones - so, given the wonderful weather, I'm planning a barbecue on holiday Monday.

Yesterday, a whole line of Morgan open-top cars rolled into town. I have no idea why, although classic cars and rally cars are a feature of the area with several rallies and gatherings every year. I have little interest in cars - insufficient masculine enthusiasm for sport and engineering, I'd say - but my fem mind observed that there seems to be one rule for owning a Morgan: the driver must be male and wear a cloth cap and the passenger must be female and wear a headscarf. Complete that requirement and presumably any model and colour is yours to purchase. 

Have a good weekend.

Sue x 

Preparing nails for varnishing

 Thanks for comments here and on Facebook on my previous post on 'passing'. A lot of views and experience shared and I will follow up on passing, blending in and public acceptance soon.

This week, though, I have been getting my finger and toenails ready for the glamfest that is autumn. Summer is my favourite season but outdoor activities and lazy days don't lend themselves so well to careful care for one's nails. So I am now, day by day, improving the look of my hands and feet by carefully clipping, filing, smoothing and evening out my nails ready for a good varnishing when they are all even, uniform and smooth. 

I could go to a nail bar but I find that, for the time and expense, I might as well do it myself. OK, I know the beauty salon is also a place for a good girly chat whilst having the treatment, but maybe I like to be in control!

So here are some top tips for top tips. Often one has so little time before a night out that one does one's best with the time available. Some stick-on nails will do! But the nails that nature gave you are best, in my view, if you can get them right. I find a week or two's preparation is advisable for growth and to reduce unevenness, chips, hangnails, excess cuticle and so on, if you can devote the attention. I also think investing in good quality tools is so worth it despite the price that may seem shocking at first. But 10 pounds/dollars/euros for a file/scissors/tweezers that will last for years pays back in the long run. Here are some of mine:

From bottom to right we have straightforward nail clippers and scissors, a top-quality indestructible file (indispensable!), best-quality tweezers, plastic cuticle stick, steel cuticle nipper, steel cuticle pusher (also good for scraping off tough varnish), fine smoothing and buffering stick (for the top of the nail). The file and tweezers were about £10 each but so worth it.

Whilst there's a lot of stuff described for cuticles, you need to go easy on them, just remove loose or excess skin. The practice of removing or pushing back the cuticles that cover the base of your nails is unhealthy as they are there to stop dirt and germs getting into the new nail growth. When I first wore false nails, the beauticians pushed my cuticles right in to make the nails sit better, but this is unwise. Yes, you might tear the cuticle on removal of false nails, but that's better than losing the cuticle altogether.

If you've never tried a buffer block to smooth and shine your natural nail, I recommend it. One I had worked so well I hardly needed varnish! A four-sided block with faces from rough to smooth and a bit of time dedicated to the task can give amazing, beautiful results and is not expensive.

The pretty little 3-item nail set at the top (from Pylones) is lovely but not best quality so it's an item for keeping in a handbag in case of nail breakage when out. The matchbook of nail files (top right) is also for the bag and is great as you can just tear off a file as and when needed and dispose of it when done.

The nail varnish on the left is a clear base coat, a main coat and a sparkly top coat in this instance. I think I'll give my toes a sparkle this year. 

I usually wear just base coat on an everyday basis. It gives a delicate sheen and protects nails better from chips and breaks.

I generally use cotton buds with nail varnish remover as they're more accurate (the remover doesn't go all up my fingers which is the problem with cotton balls or tissue) and they hold a lot of liquid. 

When I'm ready to paint I'll post a photo! I don't think it'll be anything really fancy but I came across these amazing transgender flag nails on Lin's blog (linvant.nl), which is a feast of amazing nail designs and well worth perusing.

linvant.nl

A dip in the archives

Not related to the above, I was watching early silent-era comedies (Buster Keaton, Fatty Arbuckle, Mabel Normand, etc.) and I came across Julian Eltinge, a very popular female impersonator of the early twentieth century, now almost forgotten. 

 

Julian Eltinge (stage name just the ungendered "Eltinge") in The Fascinating Widow (1910)

There were many men specialising in such theatrical roles at the time and a reasonable guess is that many were actually trans, needing an outlet for their femininity. Eltinge's uncanny ability to play a female role elegantly and straight, in contrast to the often trashy performances of his peers, and his constant choice of such roles, whilst putting on a gruffly masculine façade when not en femme, makes me suspect that he was trans. The assumption by his biographers (below) is that he was gay. (I do grow tired of this constant assumption and illogical equation of crossdressing with homosexuality). We cannot be sure, though, and who can blame him for being silent on this point in the more judgmental age that he lived in, when so many of us still live in stealth of some kind even in this more accepting era. 

At my school, which was for boys only, there was a need for boys to play female roles whenever a play or musical was put on, and the same boys tended to take on feminine roles in several different shows over the years. Like Eltinge, they would put on a masculine mien when in class or outside (one joined the army), but seemed to slip comfortably into their feminine role when on stage. Yes, I wanted to be one of them but my family wouldn't have worn it. Eltinge's father beat him when he heard he had been playing female roles as a youngster. I suspected I'd have had similar grief. 

There are potted biographies of him and more photos on these sites: Los Angeles Public Library (link here), Wikipedia (link here), The Legacy Project (link here). There are a few film clips on YouTube and this documentary sample:

An interesting person from an elegant age.

Sue x