Things that work and things that don't

 A mixed bag today.

 

Slow updates

Blogger is being incredibly slow to update my blogroll and others. Increasingly, it has been taking hours, and now several days is normal. Even weeks in some cases. I can't explain why this is and have no idea what to do about it. I'm posting this on Tuesday so maybe people will become aware of it on Friday, which is always the Main Trans Blogging Day!

 

Pride Month

Pride month continues and here in Italy events in big cities like Genoa and Rome have been very well attended. Milan Pride has been going on all week and is expected to end in the biggest parade of all this Saturday. 

Rome's Pride was marred by an attack by fascist activists who squirted pepper spray on the rainbow families float in Rome. (Despite the disaster that fascism had brought to Italy by 1945, it still has its adherents. Hard to believe, but true.) Despite this violence, the rainbow families continued their parade. It's a reminder as to why we have Pride. 

Attacking families! Seriously! Maybe, if they are so opposed to Pride Parade we could propose an annual Shame Show for fascists and fundamentalists.

 

No AI

I've felt it advisable to put on my About page that this site does not use AI. One or two copyright-free images I've used are AI but none of the photos or text here are. 

Technology can be a useful tool, or a destructive one. Internet, broadband and small home computers revolutionised my industry making it faster, easier, more connected, more productive and so providing a better living. But at the same time, AI is taking some of our bread-and-butter work away. 

In terms of art, another line of work I used to do, AI is ruining human talent and creativity. There is nothing like being creative, working with your hands, making music... It's what humans have developed over thousands of years. That redundancy started with photography that took the livelihoods of jobbing artists who painted portraits, signs, interior decorations and so forth. Why pay a person to take time over an illustration when you can just snap the scene? Visual and creative AI and other technology may make life easier, quicker and cheaper (the great mantra of our age), but talent and creativity make that life worth living. What humans are best at is being made redundant.

I saw an interview with a girl in England where they plan to remove social media for the young. "You spent nine hours on social media this weekend. What will you do when you no longer have it?" asked the interviewer. "Stare at the wall," was her reply. How sad. She has no talents to hone and share? no curiosity? no desire to socialise for real? It does suggest she's hooked. And there is scope for better platforms.

Technology is a double-edged sword. Use it wisely.

 

Heatwave and slimming

Yes, it's hot. Even I who love the heat am having difficulty sleeping. 

The good thing is that heat makes you want to eat less and that's working wonders for my figure. I'm the lightest I've been for at least 15 years now and still going down. With luck, by the end of the summer I'll be where I want to be, but I'm not settting a target. Events have a habit of getting in the way. As will that big tub of ice cream I've ordered!

 

The revolving door

I see Britain has lost another Prime Minister. It's really very careless. A bit like constantly losing change down the back of the sofa.

The UK's main political problem is not The Economy, which is presented as the yardstick for judging how things are going, but the fact that its head of government has far more power than any other such position in a Western democracy but the postition is chiefly subject to party support, not to mention the whims of the PM's personality. This makes the UK more of an oligarchy than any other Western country. Resolve this one problem and government there should improve as power becomes more devolved as it used to be. It's as though Britain has forgotten the lessons it learnt very hard in the 17th century with its absolute monarchs and fundamentalist ideologies and the divisions they caused. Never concentrate power into the hands of one man or small group.

Ah, the 17th century! When Britain sent its political undesirables, its religious maniacs, its corrupt businessmen, its criminals and its pirates to America where they could never cause any more trouble again.

 

Sue x

Reflections on the revolution

 The other day, Wednesday June 17th, was the tenth anniversary of the Day the Balcony Collapsed and my life was never the same again. I took Wednesday easy as the anniversary brought up so much trauma. 

To recap very briefly, a balcony at the end of the street on a house identical to mine came crashing down. How exactly is a mystery. The agents who had let that property tried to make out that this was a sign that all the houses in the street were unsound and might be condemned. This was an attempt not only to cover up their own negligence but to try to persuade people to sell up cheap so they or other agents could cash in. The attempted fraud was large-scale and vile. 

One week after that the United Kingdom where I lived voted to leave the European Union. My business was intimately tied to Europe, like so many others after 40+ years membership of that body, and work dried up. These two incidents in the same week left me in a position where I faced the prospect of losing both my home and my livelihood.

Fortunately, a trans friend of mine who happens to be a surveyor told me her suspicions about the fallen balcony and suggested a course of action. My own balcony turned out to be sound, as were all the others. This is where having other trans friends can come into its own. My day-to-day contacts wouldn't bring me in touch with a surveyor who happens to have 40 years expertise in concrete structures. I happen to know her only because we are both trans. Similarly, having contacts, friends and relatives in Europe assisted me in moving to the Mediterranean.

The point is that you never know when your life may suddenly change because of accidents, political upheaval or unexpected health issues. To illustrate the last point, we all suffered from the recent pandemic, whether we got ill or not, yet none of us expected such a situation.

This is not the first time I've been in dramatic situations. When I was a newborn baby living in a foreign country, a war elsewhere in the region had a domino effect on the politics of surrounding states. What had been a sleepy, pro-Western nation suddenly turned pro-Soviet and anti-Western and threw foreigners out. I don't have a proper birth certificate because my father just had time to get the British embassy to issue a consular one for me just minutes before the building was burnt down by a rioting mob. It's been a bureaucratic issue for me ever since, as if a two-week-old baby somehow has responsibility for what the so-called grown-ups around it are doing.

So the point is, as countries succumb to malignant narcissists like Trump or psycopaths like Putin or the xenophobic incompetents like the procession of Prime Ministers the UK has had, that you have to have a Plan B for life. Just hoping that things will improve where you are is wasted effort. You have to make things work for you and, ideally, for everyone else around you. I'm doing quite well now in a totally different country and I don't actually miss the old life. I wish things hadn't worked out the way they did but as I see the ongoing economic, political and social damage caused by Brexit xenophobia in Britain, I can only congratulate myself on seeing a way out. After ten years of chaos and division without firm outcome, Britain is never now going to get out of the mess it's created for itself. Frankly, it's a country that's been increasingly poorly governed over the last 150 years or so but this is a real low. Historians of the future may well use it as an object lesson.

I'll add to this. I was raised in a cult. A cult where religion, nationalism, cultural supremacism and the narcissism of its leaders and subleaders were the chief components; fear, shame, violence and threats were its chief tools of enforcement. So much was condemned by them and being trans was definitely deemed bad. I've been deprogramming from this over the last thirty years. Now I'm not ashamed to be trans any more. I'm cautious and careful, but not ashamed. The cultism of the current crop of leaders is something I may talk about soon to advise on what theorists believe causes it and how one can override it. But at the end of the day, self-acceptance, mutual assistance, and resistance always beat domineering, bullying, threats, hatred and blind support, be it for political, religious or other notions. 

In this Pride month, I've been trying to focus on positive news, on how trans people and allies keep living and creating and being constructive citizens. I think I should also point out the survivability of the trans community after centuries of misunderstanding and persecution, at least in Western society. Other people's ideas of trans people and how to suppress them come and go, and yet nature keeps producing trans people. Maybe, just maybe, nature knows what it's doing and the jerks don't.

All praise and support, therefore, to my fellow bloggers in places that have become transphobic in recent years, like the USA and Great Britain. Well done Marian at Dotting I's and Crossing T's for working to get a second passport from another country; well done Stana at Femulate for not giving up when Trump won the election but for continuing to produce such varied, enjoyable and very popular content; well done Hannah for running her local trans group and being true to herself and her preferences despite online opposition and MAGA mania; well done Lynn at Yet Another Transgender Blog for continuing her group and dealing with her political representatives; well done Dee for being herself despite difficult personal circumstances; well done Lotte of Still in the Pink Fog for wearing her trans-indicative hair and nail varnish and tattoos in the way she wants them; and well done Carla of Pink Fog - Trans in Spain who, like me, has escaped abroad but continues to concern herself about trans rights in Britain; and on and on, I can think of so many of my friends who now live life on their terms and support others to live as they need to. You can't put us down. And, as I said, Nature keeps producing us, generation on generation, defying all the various theories and opposition to our existence. 

Happy Pride month.

 

Hot

Today the promised heat has come. I am wearing very short shorts and small tee top because any more would be too hot. I'm not ashamed to admit that I've ditched my bra. 

I've just been for a swim in the lovely outdoor pool, which this year has got some pretty statues round it, put there by an artist I know who works in bronze. I think they're really beautiful, especially in the setting. And I feel great affinity with their unashamed femininity; a shared pride, if you will. 

  

 

So, I may have abandoned my home and business in Britain, much to the delight of the ex-friends who thought it fun to see me damaged in their xenophobic rage; but now I enjoy 300 days of sunshine a year in a subtropical paradise, have new friends, new interests and am way healthier, more relaxed and better off with many more human rights, whilst their economy and lifestyle and country diminishes. I'd rather see people thrive than be crushed but since many don't see it that way I continue to press for trans rights and to resist the haters.

Sue x

Queer time with Frankenstein

 Is Frankenstein a queer icon?

One of the lesser known things to see in Rome is the Keats-Shelley House, which was almost empty when I visited, despite its being right by the famous 'Spanish Steps'. Keats is the English Romantic poet and the Shelleys are the poet and his novelist wife. Keats' died in this house at the age of just 26; had he lived to old age, might he have been the greatest English poet? I think he could have been. His bedroom overlooks the steps. What an incredible home to live and die in.

But I'd like to talk about the most interesting thing I found in there, which is Mary Shelley's portable writing slope on which she penned much of Frankenstein, aged around 19. The book at the back is a signed copy of the novel.

 

The label beside it posited Frankenstein as a queer text and so piqued the interest of my travelling companion, Lizzy the Lesbian Lobster, who is always on the lookout for queer icons.

 

The label reads: 

Missing narratives …
Mary Shelley’s writing slope

Mary Shelley is an exception to the habit of erasing women from literary history, despite her own efforts to promote her husband’s legacy at the expense of her own. Her most renowned work, Frankenstein, has been and still is being reclaimed by several marginalised groups, from the rise of feminist literary criticism in the 1970s to trans and queer interpretations in the 2010s and early 2020s. In these latter instances, Victor Frankenstein’s making of the Creature was variably understood as a disregard for heteronormative “laws” of reproduction, or as a projection of homosexual desire onto another male body. The Creature has also been reread as a queer character, given his incapacity to adapt to a normative society, or even as a transgender figure, for his body disavows his creator’s expectations. In general, all these readings agree that Frankenstein’s offspring incarnates the queer urge to disrupt society’s rules. 

Personally, I think that's stretching it a bit. If you read the book - and the prose is none of the easiest, so good luck - the poor creature starts very far from being an intentional disrupter but wishes only to integrate and be accepted. Rejected firstly by his creator and then by humanity, his innocence and virtue are broken by suffering through no fault of his own. That I can relate to. A body that doesn't fit norms and perceptions might be another thing that resonates with trans people. 

 

Hungary and beyond

Best wishes to my lovely Hungarian friend Wilhelmina whom I have known since the first day I went out as Sue. The change of government in her country is very welcome within and outside that country's borders. Truth be told, we'll have to wait and see if the new parliament is genuinely willing and able to undo the damage of the previous incumbent. Given the usual attitudes of Christian nationalism as espoused by the incoming party, I'm not sure that there will be a huge move to improve trans rights there, but we can hope that with a bit of EU pressure (and cash, no doubt), things will get better. 

Last month I voted against the transphobic Italian government and I notice increasing voting shifts throughout the West - e.g. Canada, Poland, Holland and now, impressively, Hungary - against extreme populist agendas that don't deliver improvements, only isolation. No, trans people are not to blame for your society's ills and its economic downturns, as populists state. I've maintained here for years in the teeth of general despair that the public at large don't buy the transphobia that contemporary nasty parties have been nailing so firmly to their masts. When the nasties are gone, I think there will be better rights for trans people as new outlooks try to undo the damage of the present. 

 

Propaganda

And talking of bad politics, here is Propaganda Street in Rome. 

Named after the Congregatio de Propaganda Fide, Latin for the Congregation for Spreading the Faith, an office of the Catholic Church that promotes missionary work, it is headquartered in this attractive baroque building a stone's throw from the Keats Shelley House. 

So originally the word Propaganda had no especial political connotations at all. Just so you know.

The building has extraterritorial status, like an embassy. So I wonder if, say, you are being chased by the Italian police, if you can run in here and claim asylum. Mind you, you'll probably be converted to Catholicism and you'll have to swap that frock for something like these pink and lace numbers. Tough choices!

Sue x

Squeezed Melons

 I am in Rome enjoying a few days of sightseeing. Last weekend, though, there was a national referendum on the technical subject of judicial careers, with implications for the constitution. Exciting, eh? But in fact it was more of a public vote about the right-wing government of Mrs Meloni and the government lost. What's more, the turnout for such a dry subject was huge (60%). So this makes several changes in the direction of the wind. Moves like this referendum, which was partly intended to reduce judicial checks on the executive, are typical of more extreme parties but people can see the current effects of the executive abusing the judiciary in places like the USA. 

Truth be told, although Mrs Meloni's government is nominally anti-trans, anti-gay, etc., as you would expect, she has been quite pragmatic and has let minor issues like trans bashing largely alone in the face of bigger global problems. 

By the way, Meloni means "melons", and this is a source of much hilarity in lesbian circles. Although, to her credit, Mrs Meloni knows how to run with this gag. 

 

My sick relative in Milan is doing OK, although after his lengthy hospital ordeal last year he is still recuperating and the district nurse still visits three times a week. I was pleased that I was able to persuade him to come out with me to vote. He'd rather given up on democracy as he says, on a material level, one government is very like another these days. That does seem to be the impression of many, hence ever lower turnouts at recent elections and other votes. I'm glad this one bucked the trend.

Anyway, I'm enjoying sightseeing in and around Rome and exploring the local food culture. Don't worry, I won't be boring you with pictures of the Colosseum as I'm exploring lesser known nooks and corners. More on gorgeous ancient jewellery, my trip to the Underworld, talking statues, border disputes, local humour, Frankenstein and other amusing monsters with an LGBT twist when I'm back home. All I can say is that I'm glad I saw the main sights of Europe in the '80s and '90s, when tourism was important but not overwhelming, because the crowds and the queues here are unbelievable. 

Sue x

It's snow joke

"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I feel something terrible has happened."

Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars

I aim to present trans life in a positive way, as I've said many times. Occasionally, something bad happens and I can't ignore it. So today I'd better acknowledge the bad stuff first and go on to the better stuff.

I usually sleep OK; not brilliantly, but OK. In my dreams I am almost always a trans woman who is accepted as such. That's been the standard dream premise for me since I was 5. 

Last night, though, I had a very bad night, troubled by horrible visions: first, a skeletal goat in a cowl standing by my bed; then a serpent convulsing in its death throes, biting itself but also lashing out at bystanders. 

To cap it all, a mosquito bit me. A real one, not a dream one. Mosquitoes in the depths of winter are unheard of! 

If these were ancient times I would take these as visions and signs from the gods, and consult an oracle or sybil about them. But in these less superstitious times I conclude that the traumatising news over the last two weeks has gotten to me. And that climate change is alarmingly real now if there are mosquitoes in January.

I've said here before that the purpose of government is to brutalise, and we see this regularly, such as when you're don't pay your taxes even with a good excuse, when you get burgled but the police don't take any interest, when your social security office is understaffed and you can't get that payment you are entitled to, or when you try to register a change to the gender marking on your birth certificate but you have to go through years of bureaucracy and scrutiny. The list is endless. Or you might want to complain about excessive policing or government economic policy. Then you get shot. Of course, if you kill someone, even inadvertently, your government may put millions into finding you and jailing you. But when a government has enemies, it can freely order the killing of as many as it likes with impunity. 

The story I posted last week about my screaming insane boss shows how hierarchies are often structured to cover up the behaviours and inadequacies of its members, and how bad promotions and choices of leadership can cause so much damage. That bad experience and even worse ones at work, the evil school I went to, the sick religion that was foisted on me as a child, make me chronically concerned about all the harm that is done in the world by a handful of deeply deranged individuals. 

I now live my trans life without reference to the authorities, to doctors, to activists or other people who allegedly act for the public good, our best interests, etc. I don't trust them at all. And when I see ayatollahs killing tens of thousands and presidents threatening, bullying and abusing millions, or dictators invading other countries, and hear their supporters rejoicing at the extermination, then I think I'm right to shun their evil and avoid those in their pay because if I want sanity, security and peace, I'd better look after those benefits myself. 

That said, we have no honest choice but to push back on these evil forces, support those suffering and try to engage the checks on power that are being usurped. Ostracise people you know who support murdering regimes: don't help them, don't buy from them, don't socialise with them, don't co-operate with them, just isolate them. Their outlook and behaviour are vile and that needs to be made clear to them in ways that cause them loss. In so doing, you are not so much losing a friend, relative, supplier, colleague, entertainer or other contact as reducing evil and chaos in your life and community.

My love to my trans sisters who are in the front line of so much hatred right now. Love especially to Hannah McKnight in Minneapolis whose humane and inspiring blogs I have followed for years. Stay strong but safe and know the world supports you.

 

Climate 

 

The view from home on Saturday: sailing under moody skies and choppy seas.

Despite my globally-warmed mosquito, it actually snowed on the high ground yesterday. There was a dusting of white on the mountaintop above home, but it was gone today. Heavy precipitation is expected tomorrow so it may become white again.

Mount Bignone, or Bignose as I call it. 1300 metres high (4265 feet)

This is news because, in the last 40 years, the Alps have rarely had the snow cover they used to. My train journeys this week will pass through the Alps and the Appennines and the dramatic rise from palm-fringed beaches on one side of the train to snow-capped peaks on the other makes this a very panoramic line. 

 

Packing and planning

I'm now packing to go on a city break to Genoa for a few days where the weather looks cool at best, so I'm looking at layers. I have packed some nice thermal vest tops, thermal tights and thick leggings. I also found a bodysuit that I'd forgotten I had. This is the trouble with a female wardrobe - the variety is so great you forget what you've got!

The shopping is way better in Genoa than here so I'll see if anything nice catches my eye.

I'll need to watch my eating when away, though. Since New Year I've lost a very impressive five kilos, or 12 pounds. Maybe by the end of the month it'll be six kilos off in all; that's one stone. But sightseeing is energy intensive so any excess food intake could get burnt off. 

 

Valentino

RIP fashion designer, Valentino Garavani, known simply as Valentino. 

I know I've often poked fun at some of his creations on my blog, especially when looking at his store in Milan's fashion district, but I have to acknowledge he was one of the greats. In some respects, it was his efforts in the '50s and '60s that got Italian high fashion associated with quality.

 

Offline

I'm not taking my laptop away this time so I'll be offline from Wednesday to Friday of this week. 

Stay pretty, stay safe, stay loved. Maybe that's my trans slogan for 2026.

Sue x 

Worried about a trip to Britain

 I am going back to Britain the week after next, as I have done every six months since the pandemic ended, but I am very uneasy about it. The crass political situation there makes me sick and the anti-trans court ruling the other week makes me more determined than ever to remove my remaining personal belongings from there and complete settling in Italy. The same sort of sentiment regards my family whom I will be seeing but whose bigotry gets worse with time. The trouble is, any pensions I am due all come from Britain so I'll never be shot of the craziness and failure there, nor the loss in their value because of the low rate of the pound sterling they will be paid in. I was hoping to go out fully dressed when there but now I'm not feeling it. Not at present anyway. We'll see how I feel when I'm there. On the positive side, I will be seeing friends, too, including one who is having her surgery. I expect there will be some nice things to report back about my meetups.

[Add: I've just had a comment from Dee Williams, one of my very oldest trans friends whom I first met on my very first time out as Sue. Dee lives in South West England now and she's just started a blog, The Other Side of Life, which I have also added to my blogroll. She too is worried about some of the items I mentioned here.] 

You'll notice that I'm increasing my contact with other trans sisters in Europe and I've recently added Carla's blog (Pink Fog - Trans in Spain) to the list on the right. Carla is an English girl living in Spain. 

Other European TGirl blogs I recommend include Violetta's beautiful blog (Violetta Arden's World - this week she's walking in Austrian pastures) and Franzi's classy blog (Franziska Out and About) about crossdressing and culture in Germany.

I'd also like to mention a male friend in Portugal, also British originally, who's been a great trans ally and we've both supported each other in settling in Europe, but he has been struggling on and off with cancer for some years and I'm worried about him. Treatment works for a bit and he gets some respite and then it's back. I've lost so many friends to cancer these last four years that it's like the Grim Reaper has been flicking through my address book for ideas. 

And a shout out to poor trans woman Jen of travel vlog Jen on the Move who has suffered a stroke. I really hope she makes a good recovery.

I mention all these worrying things because my trans positivity resolutions at the moment include giving as much encouragement to other trans people as I can. If not in person, then online. There are so many trans people sharing their lives in one way or another on social media and with the attacks on our community at present I can't help feeling that even the smallest like or thumbs-up or share or encouraging comment can go a long way to helping each of us continue to live authentically and know that there's support out there.

The stats here on Blogger tell me quite clearly that my political posts are not as popular as posts about trans clubs, pretty clothes and girls meeting up so I will be getting back to the more popular themes of trans life. I have not been able to overlook the awful situation that the world is in this past month and its effects on our community as it makes me ill even to think about it. But something lighter hearted and more beautiful is needed and I'll be aiming to deliver that.

Pretty purple and pink chive flowers in my herb garden

 

Look after yourselves, dear sisters, and help one another.

Sue x

Lipsticks for lunch, and the 100-days interview

I was privileged to be given an exclusive interview with the president this week. 

(What do you mean, "which president?") 

The following transcript was found in a bathroom at the new official US presidential residence at Mar-a-Lunko, alongside state secrets.

HENCHMAN: Mr President, there's a Ms Richmond to see you.

47: Who?... Is she hot?

HENCHMAN: Well, if you asking if she looks like Ivanka, I guess not.

47: Oh. Well, that's sad. So sad. Richmond, huh? Is she rich? I'm rich.

HENCHMAN: I don't know, Sir. She wants to interview you. Apparently, you've just boosted their ratings or something.

47: Terrific. I do that. I'm a mutual aid kind of guy. Everybody says so. OK, send her in.

RICHMOND: Hello, Mr President. Thank you for your valuable time away from the golf course. I'm here to thank you for your genius policies.

47: I'm a very stable genius. Everybody says so.

RICHMOND: Well, simply put, and I'll keep it simple for you, Donald, just how you like it: not everyone likes your policies, and by everyone I mean everyone in the world, except your MAGA fans, of course.

47: Great guys, my MAGA fans. They're the majority. Huge majority. The polls say it. I'm a great believer in democracy and majority rule. The rest of the world are just a minority. That's logic. So people who don't like my po-li-cies are just nasty. Sad losers. So sad.

RICHMOND: Well, I'm a great believer in democracy, too. It's great when we can all agree with you.

47: Totally. All the great people agree with me. Like you do ... You're hot, by the way. Not a 10, but you can work on it.

RICHMOND: Why, thank you, Donald. Between you and me, confidentially, do you think I'd look better as a blonde? I hope you don't mind my asking but I hear you're experienced with women.

47: Totally. Women thank me for my advice. They all do. Blonde is hot. 

RICHMOND: That's great to know, from an expert like you. Your wife Melania isn't blonde, though, but she must be "hot", too, right?

47: Not as hot as Ivanka. 

RICHMOND: Well, it sounds like a pity that American law doesn't let you marry your own daughter. But I'm sure you can change that. A quick Executive Order, maybe?

47: Sure. I'm good at those. ...You'd look hotter if you were blonde. Oh, and lose the glasses. 

RICHMOND: Your advice is invaluable, Mr President. I'll bear it in mind. And another day I'll ask you about how to achieve great hair and makeup. Before I get down to the interview proper ... how can I put this? Do you, er, need a diaper change? It's kind of stuffy in here.

47: You want to change my diapers? Everybody does. 

RICHMOND: I'm sure you have many sycophants to do that for you, Mr President.

47: What's sick-o-pants? 

RICHMOND: Brown-nosers, Mr President.

47: Sure. I have those. Lots. Great guys. What did you want to tell me about my great presidency? That there's never been a greater presidency?

RICHMOND: There's certainly never been a presidency like it, Donald. I think the whole world agrees on that. You'll recall that Italy recently sent its prime minister, Ms Meloni, to see you. Did you like her? She's blonde and wears the latest fashions and her name translates into English as Miss Melons. And she said she wanted to work with you to make the West great again. What did you think of Miss Melons' call to greatness?

47: Well, she had great melons, I'll say that. Huge.

RICHMOND: *Sigh* It's the answer I predicted. 

47: I'm very predictable. Everybody says so.

RICHMOND: Sure you are. And your position hasn't changed for at least an hour, and we're all very impressed by that. But really I just wanted to come here and thank you. You see, when you and your friends, like Mr Putin and Mr Orban and Mr Kim - funny how they all seem to be guys - all punch down on vulnerable people, like - oh, I don't know - transgender people, say, then all the rest of the free world associates your transphobia with madness, incompetence, dictatorship, repression and randomness and starts to feel sympathy for and support those vulnerable people. So at the end of the day, when the psycopathy of Putin has finally exhausted Russia, as it seems to be doing, and the madness of the Kims has finally starved the people of North Korea, and the narcissism of Orban has finally ruined Hungary, and maybe you've finished wrecking US hegemony and our trust in it just to save your gigantic yet fragile ego from the penalties of due legal process, everyone else will associate state-sponsored transphobia with the all lunacy, failure, criminality and violence that emanates from you and your chums and be more inclined to protect trans people from what they know to be overarchingly wrong, from that chaos that has caused them significant economic, socio-political and military difficulties.

47: Too many big words. I don't use big words.

RICHMOND: I'm sorry, Donald. I mean, trans people may be suffering now, but we will be stronger and more protected when you and your friends are done. 

47: You are fake news!

RICHMOND: Thank you from Sue's News and Views. This is Sue Richmond reporting from the new US presidential residence at Mar-a-Lunko. ...And you really do need a diaper change now, Mr President.

 

This is Sue Richmond, your roving reporter, with the latest political news ...

 

Lipsticks for lunch, or: learn languages with Sue

There were various items to buy that I couldn't get locally so I headed to the nearest big town. By the time I'd done my shopping I was hungry and decided to stop and have lunch at a really nice restaurant which French day-trippers choose to eat at because, let's face it, the French know decent food. 

I chose rossetti. These are a tiny transparent species of goby that these days replace bianchetti, which are the fry (babies) of sardines and anchovies that it's currently illegal to catch as stocks are low. Bianchetti means "little white ones" and rossetti means "little red ones". Rossetti also means "lipsticks" in Italian, because they're also little and red, and let's just say that when you're a trans girl these things kind of buzz round your mind all the time, so how could I resist ordering them? 

Each no more than an inch long, and cooked in lemon vapour, they are very delicate and make an ideal starter. 

Or you can colour your lips with them. Hey, no judgment.

Sue x 

Liberation

 Today is Liberation Day and it is important for me ... and, I hope, for you, too. It's 80 years to the day since axis forces surrendered in Italy and dictatorship and occupation ended. It's a public holiday. 

I went to the ceremonies in Sanremo and joined the mayor and local townspeople, veterans and partisans organisations, civic and military personnel, and the town band, to commemorate liberty, democracy, the rule of law, human rights and those who fought for them. There were hundreds of us and I was pleased to see so many young families, teenagers and students, not just us - ahem - older folks. 

At the war memorial

The Resistance here liberated much of this region before allied forces arrived. It's not exactly tank country, after all, with its steep, broken landscape. Partisans could be anyone: communists, monarchists, anarchists, nationalists, catholics, atheists, policemen, army deserters, shepherds, professors, engineers, women, men, boys... One thing all these disparate beliefs and people held in common was that fascism, dictatorship and repression are the common enemy of humanity. The crowd today reflects that broad swathe of people and beliefs. I see national flags, peace symbols, partisan neckscarves, civic banners, military caps, councillors in sashes, civilians in jeans ... a fluffy dog barks along to that defining partisan song, Bella Ciao.

At the memorial to the victims of the 1943 Cephalonia massacre.

My grandfathers fought, too, and this was also my personal commemoration of their sacrifices. (More on their amazing experiences below.) And my hope that freedom to live one's own life will not be crushed again. There's too much whiff of fascism in the air again now, and in nations that ought to know better.

The parade moves down the high street, Via Matteotti, named after the leader of the opposition to Mussolini in parliament who was murdered in 1924.

 

We end at the memorial to the resistance where the mayor gives a speech quoting Italo Calvino, one of the twentieth century's foremost writers, who was brought up in Sanremo and described his time as a teenage partisan here in his first novel. (I recommend the book.) Students read passages of poetry, prose, letters from death row; representatives of the national partisan organisation and the Alpine Corps remind us why we do this, that resistance continues every day, that calls to treat this as the last commemoration by today's fascists (they still exist, incredibly) cannot be accepted as we are surrounded by monuments to the random reprisals and executions of the past, and that wars, dictatorships and brutality continue today. We're standing outside the very fort built 300 years ago not to protect the town but to repress local rebellion. Its cannons point into the city centre.

Memorial to the resistance, with today's commemorative wreath.

 

The ceremony over, I go into the fort. It's free today. There are the cells where criminals were held, but also political prisoners. There's a photo exhibition on about migrants, people fleeing civil war in Syria or poverty in Subsaharan Africa. They're being shouted at by cops, trying to jump onto lorries passing frontiers, drowning in the sea, shivering in bombed-out buildings... This is why we commemorate and celebrate liberty and fight cruelty and brutality.

A fleeing mother holds her child close under a thermal blanket. This photo is recent, but the image, sadly, is timeless.

 

What my grandfathers told me

I had a grandfather who flew as a hobby. When war came, his business was bombed. Out of work and already trained, he joined the air force and rose to senior rank planning airborne invasions: Sicily, D-Day, Arnhem ... I have a significant piece of Pegasus Bridge memorabilia that commemorates his finest hour. Not content with victory in Europe, he went and joined his brother in the British Indian Army who was fighting the Japanese.

"Defy the beast," he would always say. "Whoever tries to crush liberty and humanity needs to be stopped. I lost my livelihood and six years of my life, but I wasn't going to lose my freedom or that of my family to those who ignore the rule of law. Decency, fair play and liberty are paramount."

My other grandfather was a type of policeman who specialised in corporate and tax fraud. Serious enough work for him and his unit to be issued sidearms. He ended up on the wrong side of the lines, in Milan, where axis forces cleared out on this day in 1945. Because he and his colleagues were the only officials left who had guns, they were given a vague order to "hold the city". Against whom? That wasn't specified. Three days later the partisans entered bearing the dead bodies of Mussolini, his mistress and some henchmen, whom they strung up in Piazzale Loreto. My grandfather swapped his uniform for civilian clothes and went to see the upside-down man who'd himself turned so many lives upside down. He criticised the partisans for allowing the crowd to abuse the bodies, thus providing fascist sympathisers ever after with notions of martyrdom. (Piazzale Loreto has been remodelled from big green square to ugly roundabout, with new buildings over the site of the hangings. This is deliberate so as to obliterate a site of pilgrimage.) After US troops entered the city, he was able to reveal that, despite his official position, he'd been working for the resistance.

As a financial expert, my grandfather always viewed fascists as con men, who rose to power through deception and manipulation, not through righteousness, hard graft and love of the common good as claimed. That bogus image of uprightness was part of the fraud. How apt that the fraudster-in-chief was himself upended.

What is fascism?

It is said that Mussolini's son Bruno once asked over an evening meal, "Dad, what exactly is fascism?" To which the Duce replied, "Shush and eat your dinner."

Academic and writer, Umberto Eco (best known for his 1980 novel The Name of the Rose, made into a 1986 film with Sean Connery) wrote a short essay, Ur-Fascism, that sums it up well. You can read it in English for free here or summarised on Wiki here. Tradition, paranoia, conflict, machismo and crushing of the weak are significant elements, but to me this line of Eco's sums up fascism best: "Fascism was a fuzzy totalitarianism, a collage of different philosophical and political ideas, a beehive of contradictions." That's the impression I get, too. Fascism collects the fears and failings of life's losers and pretends that they are collective strength; it is weak men's ideas of what strong men are. The fact that all these disparate outlooks may contradict one another is irrelevant, and is indeed what gives fascism its power; as both its adherents and enemies try to fathom meaning from this random mix of contradictions, it is busy bashing them all, perpetually. Orwell's famous 1984 "boot stamping on a human face for ever". 

Do you see any close logical ties between apocalyptic Christianity, billionaire capitalism, gun culture, unsolicited dick pics and deep-state conspiracy theory? No? That's OK, Trumpism provides a safe umbrella for them all to thrive under. That's fascism, just like the disparate values of conservative Catholicism, vorticist and futurist art movements that glorified aggression and the force of will, middle-class moneyspinning, hedonistic poetry, Roman history, socialism and military nostalgia were all grist to Mussolini's mill. For Hitler, Jews were both communist conspirators and capitalist plotters. Apparently simultaneously. Go figure. TERFs demand a UK court to define women, but not men, despite the feminist programme to seek equality. That's fascist contradiction, too. 

I've fought this shit all my life. I've reported aggressive and harassing Christofascists to the police; I've assisted getting violent, sexually brutal teachers jailed; I've reported and successfully sued overbearing bosses; I've removed transphobes and racists from my life with and without ceremony; I've assisted people get justice against conmen, exploitation and fraudsters, and against violent partners; I've voted and encouraged others to vote against dishonest politics; I moved to the European Union as I saw human rights in the United Kingdom stamped on... They're all types of fascism, oppression and brutality, and all from the same terrified narcissistic type of person who cannot bear that the false public narrative that hides their shame, phobias, loss or incompetence be exposed. The sheer amount of resilience needed to live in this world of false narratives sickens me. This is why I got up early to go to the ceremonies today. And because I want to live as a free person in this hostile world as best I can and as others tried to before me.

German playwright Bertolt Brecht reminded us in the last line of his 1941 Nazi parody "parable" play, The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui, why we do this: "The womb he [i.e. Ui/Hitler] came from is still going strong".

Thanks for reading. Stay safe and free and legal.

Sue x

A pro-trans pope?

 There's a phrase in Italian, morto un papa se ne fa un altro - when a pope dies you just create another one. I.e. life goes on for the rest of us and no individual ever really makes waves.

Inevitably, the papers here in Italy are are full of little other than the death of Pope Francis yesterday. Even the Sports supplement dedicates its first nine pages to the pope's love for the beautiful game. I didn't bother checking if he was into boxing, too, or maybe enjoyed a round of darts, pint in hand. It smacks a bit of journalistic desperation when you try to link world events to your usual news fare. 

But anyway, there'll be a new pope soon. Will he be more open to trans people or be the usual repressive? This past one was supposedly more receptive to LGBT rights, saying sexuality was less important than other issues like war or poverty, but then going and making some ambiguous and pretty anti-LGBT comments, too. Fundamentally, I don't think the Catholic church can ever be pro-LGBT, it's just a question of how directly anti they may become in future. 

None of the Abrahamic religions - Judaism, Christianity or Islam - are into equal status for women. They're all into male dominance. Just ask an Afghan, an Iranian ... or an American from the Bible Belt. As you'd expect from religions deriving from the Fertile Crescent, fertility (whether crops, lambs or babies) is paramount and anything that reduces that productivity - like being gay - is to be rejected. Besides, gentile/pagan/infidel religions often have transgender/eunuch priests, and you mustn't copy anything that lot do. 

A change in attitude in the Vatican therefore seems unlikely to me. Most I have heard from the Catholic church about being trans is that it's just a variant of being gay. And that since Christianity (and Islam) are spread by preaching, that's how people get to be trans and gay - because someone persuaded them to be. Gimme a break!

I don't expect a change, therefore, just that transphobia may be more or less vocal with the next guy in the Vatican. That's right, the guy in the white frock, with lace sleeves on Sundays!

Pardon my cynicism but I am actually one of the few people who has actually taken the trouble to read all the Bible, the Koran, and many other holy texts and therefore I don't hold any hope for understanding between leaders of these religions and trans people. 

(By the way, my experience as young person was that ministers of these religions were often violent men addicted to punishment and physical assault, and to demanding respect rather than earning it. This for me has always tainted their claims that their religions bring peace, love, mercy and understanding. Your mileage may vary.)

 

The good stuff

As ever, Elle magazine is always for us and this week Elle Italia carries an interview with author Lucy Sante who explains how trans people are now the US government's official scapegoat.

I note that many of the general political vloggers and bloggers I follow, none of whom have ever mentioned trans matters before, are all roundly condemning the UK Supreme Court's anti-trans ruling last week. Allies emerge when official justice chooses injustice.

On the same subject, I'd like to say that, although I left the UK in 2018 to seek a new life in warmer climes for the sake of my health, and life where human rights are still valued and protected for the sake of my freedom, what happens in my former country still affects me as I haven't cut ties with my many friends there. So I'd like to thank and praise UK bloggers Clare, Jonathan and Lynn for making a public stand against this ruling at very short notice last weekend. I know others of my friends like Tania were out there, too. Bless you.

Stay safe and beautiful all of you. 

I end with a photo I took yesterday of my friend and lodger Mrs Collared Dove who has lived on my home for years with her husband. She likes to rest on my railings and I enjoy her company.

 

Mr Dove will often come and join her there, where they can be seen grooming each other, chatting, sharing a kiss or just sitting snuggled together enjoying the sunset. A lovely loving couple. I snapped the pair of them previously:

 

Sue x

Pride season, purity culture, and the Wotsit of Rage

 I usually end the week with a summary of the stuff that's happening and it's pretty varied.

 

Pride season

Pride Season in the Northern Hemisphere opens, as far as I know, with Sanremo Pride, Italy, which is tomorrow and is my most local event. It's not a large meeting - about 2000 are expected - as this is a less populated, sleepy corner of queerdom. The focus this year is on the trans community because we are most under attack right now. 

I've decided not to go for logistical reasons. It's not possible, even if I get someone to give me a lift, or take a taxi, not to run a high risk of outing myself to the neighbourhood, especially on a Saturday which is the busiest day of the week. I won't bore you with the complexities of the details or my concerns. Much as I am aching to go, I think a better option is to go to a different Pride in this region where I can check into a hotel and get properly dolled up and be anonymous. Yes, that's what it's like for most of us. As one friend crudely put it, you don't cr*p in your own back yard. Safety is paramount. It's also why I did nothing for Trans Day of Visibility earlier this week.

The Wotsit of Rage and the campaign against reality

Last month my opening post was a quote from a British political vlogger who used the expression "about as popular as hedgehog suppository" to describe Trump's popularity among the British public. This week he comes up with a new epithet for Trump: the "Wotsit of Rage", which had me doubled up. For readers outside the United Kingdom, I should explain that a Wotsit is a popular but unhealthy corn puff snack, somewhat orange in colour. (Wiki article and illustration here: Wotsits). 

Personally, given who we're talking about, I'd have said Cheetos would be more apt than Wotsits!

(For information, the vlogger is a guy called Phil who "likes talking about politics" and whose approach is mainly to set up a current affairs topic as an aunt sally and knock it down with reason and humour. He's an old-style UK Labour Party supporter, of which there are not so many these days, so you need to take his stance into account, but he's up-front about that. That said, when I was younger (like, in the '80s, just as a random example), the political spectrum was broader than it is now, yet one was always able to have a civilized discussion with people from anywhere else on that spectrum, which is uncommon nowadays. I find the change to today's more abusive, more rigid attitudes repellent. I'm no nostalgia fiend but previously (1) everyone was genuinely interested in the progress and welfare of their country as a whole, differences being essentially on what was the best approach, and (2) nobody questioned reality. There was no flat earth theory, faked moon landings, 'deep state' psychosis or social-media endorsed narcissism to contend. So I find Phil refreshingly old-fashioned in his approach! His YouTube channel: A Different Bias)

 

Purity culture and rape culture

This week I have been binge-watching drag queen Landon Reid's marvellous ripostes to "creepy conservative men" who contact him when he's dressed in (often exquisite) female fashions because they think he's a woman. They offer obscene and sexist suggestions whilst invariably turning out to be evangelical Christians, usually married or with a strong church leaning, some even having "purity buddies" to help keep them away from "impure thoughts and temptations". It shows how the purity culture, the guns + Jesus + Trump obsessions of so many American men (OK, let's be fair to America, many men from all over are similar) are so closely tied to denigrating, crushing and sexually overpowering women. There's plenty of mansplaining and self-owns along the way. A witty exposé of a frightening trait of our era. Try this typical one:

 

Plus Landon offers makeup tips on how to recreate the looks of female icons like Sabrina Carpenter or Endora, and even male ones like Donald Trump and Ted Cruz!

 

Going abroad (just!)

Next week I had planned to go to Germany but family health issues prevent it. Instead, I will be in Milan again and also spending a couple of days in San Marino, which is the oldest continually independent state in the world, with the oldest written constitution (sorry again, USA). 

San Marino has always been a republic headed by two Captains-Regent, who are colleagues elected every six months in the style of the Consuls of the ancient Roman Republic (c. 510 BC - 27 BC), who were elected annually. In 2022, Paolo Rondelli, an openly gay man, was elected as one Captain-Regent, thus becoming the world's first openly gay head of state. There have been plenty of gay/bi heads of state before, of course (e.g. James VI and I of Scotland and England in the 16th/17th centuries), but not declaredly so.

Sadly, trans rights seem to be lagging behind gay rights in the republic. I will report back.

 

Passenger action group

A couple of weeks ago I grumbled about the collapse, yet again, of the lousy French train service to Italy and the lousier attempts to get stranded passengers a replacement bus, meaning I walked much of the way home (section titled "A night in the mountains" here). Last week two further even worse failures that left passengers living on this side of the French border stranded until late at night finally prompted the establishment of a passenger action group. A cross-border bus, even a boat, might at least alleviate the misery at bad times, and be a competitive alternative on a normal day.

 

Thank you for reading. Have a good weekend. Don't overdose on Wotsits.

Sue x

Spring cleaning ... in more ways than one

 How to do business with the USA if you're trans. 

This week the weather has improved a lot and there's a new smell in the air here, of warm beach. I sensed it as I walked along the promenade in the sunshine today. It's time to open the windows and get the garden furniture out. I've been able to eat my lunch outdoors every day since Sunday, at last. Normally here you can do that quite a few times over the winter but not this year, as I have already lamented.

 

We have a bumper crop of oranges outside the front door this year. Sadly, they're the bitter ornamental variety and no good for eating. But they look jolly.

So yes, it's time for spring cleaning, planting herbs and generally getting busy. First, though, I've decided that my working time over the next week will be dedicated to completing the saving of this blog in an alternative format in case it needs to migrate. So far Blogger has been run by Google and I use Apple products and these companies are still, as far as I can judge, the more hippy, less Trumpy ends of the US IT industry, so I don't expect an immediate problem. But it's clear that the USA is going to pot fast so I'd like to be sure of my continued existence in electronic media. Frankly, the sooner the rest of the world can dump its reliance on US products and services, the better. There's a huge potential for European and South Asian development in the IT and other sectors now; an unexpected windfall. 

I'm no longer bothered about having lost my Facebook account to hackers six months ago. Given that Facebook's focus was increasingly on adverts or clips that might be of interest rather than what my friends were up to, and given the Zuckster's increasing cuddling up to Trump, and given the harvesting of personal information that's always been FB's policy, I think it's time to dump it and US-based social media sites like it. They're not very safe. As one alternative with a trans focus, I'm thinking of getting more active again on TV Chix, a UK-based trans forum that I didn't use to like much as it was quite sleazy once but seems less so now. There have been some good suggestions for other sites and platforms from other trans bloggers recently, like Izzy here and Lynn here.

I'm sorry for American readers of this blog, who are pretty well adjusted and humane to judge by their comments and other reading preferences, and who probably share my disgust. But the reality is that US tech lords' current bullying, spying on, threatening customers or encouraging threatening situations are actually bad business moves. As American businessmen of Trump's generation are so fond of saying with a shrug when they ruin a community by shutting down its main source of employment or terminating a useful service: "it's just business". Or even "it is what it is, cupcake", a phrase beloved of The Donald, which he cheerfully uses with a shrug on occasions such as his brother dying or the pandemic killing over a million US citizens. People are quitting US businesses and markets fast right now. But if a country elects a failed businessman to run a government of dysfunctional psychopaths, what can you expect? And if cold approval of suffering is how the US administration approaches business these days, then we shrug at the shrinking US economy and state simply that it is what it is, cupcake. 

Sue x

About as popular as a hedgehog suppository

 I've not been too well this week. A combination of a cough, hay fever exactly as I had at this time last year, and toothache from an old problem tooth that no amount of expensive dentistry has ever resolved. I think I'd best have it taken out. As you can imagine, I've not slept very well. 

I bought this toy crab at the Oceanographic Institute in Monaco the other week. I was looking for another companion for Raimonda the Ray but there were none in similar sea-green shades so I have gone with a contrasting red. Its lugubrious expression caught my eye and it looks somewhat like I feel at the moment!

I had planned a blog post earlier this week about hiding in plain sight but I just didn't feel up to it. Next week instead, I hope. 

I've borrowed the title of this post from a British political vlogger who made me laugh with it. The vlogger used the expression to describe Trump's popularity rating in the UK at the moment. I spend much time wrestling with the problem of why stupidity and malice seem to be so prevalent, and now more than ever in my lifetime, and what to do about it. I can only make my little suggestions for coping in the hope they help others avoid trouble. Stay safe and, mentally, try to stay grounded in the current madness by focusing on what make you happy, not on the news.

Have a nice weekend.

Sue x