Thursday, 25 February 2021

More steps in trans living 6: conclusion

 In the last three weeks I have been looking back at the period a decade ago when my life as a woman in the real world was getting under way. It was the most wonderful time, living the life I felt I had been born to lead. 

It's an old trans cliché that your first steps outdoors as a TGirl are midnight trips to the postbox, in the hope that no-one will spot you in the depths of the night. The irony is that you actually stand out immediately in an otherwise empty street. But the best way to exist as a transwoman struck me one evening in this period of my life. It was at 6pm one Friday, when my friend Emma and I found ourselves in London's Piccadilly Circus, one of those locations in the world like Times Square or Shibuya Crossing that is synonymous with traffic and bustle. You could have lifted your feet off the ground and been swept along by the crowds that evening. And of all the thousands of people there, not one was paying us two TGirls the slightest bit of attention as they all hurried on with their own lives. It was a revelation that full immersion in life and society is actually the best way to blend in and avoid undue notice. This added to my confidence no end. Certainly, in most big cities with all their variety, you can just get on with life on your terms. I wish I had understood that ten years earlier.

You can read about my subsequent adventures as a woman about town from August 2011 onwards in this blog. I thought this series of posts would just fill in the gap between first going out in January 2010 and the start of blogging.

Finally, this series has received a lot of views and I have received quite a lot of comments, not just here in the comments section but elsewhere online with links to my blog. So far, a lot of interest has been generated by post no 2 (contemplating transition), especially my thoughts on mental health, and post no 4 (coming out to lovers), especially how trans life gets suppressed when we find a partner, so I will expand on those topics in future posts. Just scroll down to find these and the other posts in the series.

A dip in the archives

No photo was ever taken in that chaos of Piccadilly Circus I described above, but here I am with Emma in the heart of London in April 2011, with Big Ben in the background. Both of us were a lot more confident by now than we were on our first extraordinary night out in London ten months earlier (My baptism of fire).

Sue x

Cari lettori italiani

Oggi concludo questa serie su i miei passi in tacchi alti nel mondo reale dieci anni fa. Ho avuto vari commenti, sopratutto sulla salute mentale e sui problemi che incontriamo quando ci sposiamo. Vorrei approfondire questi argomenti in futuro.

Oggi in Ponente c'è il fenomeno del caligo. Molto bello e interessante.

Sue x

Monday, 22 February 2021

More steps in trans living 5: living full-time

 I continue this series of lookbacks at life before I started this blog, when I had just emerged into the real world, with the feeling that I needed to spend as much time as possible negotiating this new reality. My hormones seemed to be going crazy, my wish was to live as a woman and I was finding out as much as I could about the process of transition. 

Perhaps the timing was lucky. I was working part-time as an employee because the rest of the time I had been studying for the qualifications for a new self-employed career. But I was able to put that career on hold and give myself plenty of 'me' time, which, from late summer 2010, I spent pretty much as a woman.

There were, in addition, many periods of several weeks at a stretch when I didn't work and so lived full-time female, to see what it was like, if it was workable, if it suited me, if there were any problems...

And it was amazing, so wonderful just to interact with the world as a woman and feel that this was just the way things should be. I've always wanted simply to lead life as a woman, even the most mundane aspects of it. I just loved going to the post office or the supermarket as Sue and it feeling right and normal.

Although it would take an age to get ready, what with epilation, makeup and so on, it just seemed a price that needed paying and, although slightly annoying, I didn't resent the need, nor did I tire of dealing with the less feminine aspects of my body, hair mainly. 

Of course, the plentiful time available meant an improved social life, too. I've already described in part 3 (Meeting others) how I travelled around to meet other like-minded people, and eventually started organising events in London. In contrast to my mundane yet ideal life en femme near home, there was also the exhilaration of packing nothing but Sue clothes in a case and going away for a weekend, with no prospect of backing out and going back to boy mode.

By 2011 I was in an amazing place. It was really a question of whether I wanted to take the final plunge and switch to finally being the woman I'd always wanted to be, fullstop. I take my time, though, and doubts about formal transition, family and trans community issues and, eventually (in 2014), disfiguring ill health led to my remaining part-time. I don't like the situation where I have to be male some of the time, although, truth be told, it does keep away a lot of troubles if you keep that option, even if you aren't being true to yourself. After all, I've learned by a lifetime's forcing how to keep that male interface with the world when necessary.

So in the end, officially changing to Sue Richmond full-time never happened, but I am satisfied that I gave it all due and proper consideration, and had a lot of fun along the way.

A dip in the archives

 The background photo to my blog was taken by Stella on a trip to Painshill Park, a landscape garden 30 miles from Central London (Painshill Park website). This was August 2011. We took a picnic there, strolled round the lake and grounds, and took in the various follies and architectural elements (such as the Turkish Tent seen here) before driving back to London. But we'd had such a nice day in each others' company that we decided not to go home immediately but to have dinner at a old pub in Strand-on-the Green, a pretty riverside hamlet in West London.


Strand-on-the-Green during the annual Great River Race

I chose it as the background photo to my blog - and I have never changed it - as, to me, it captures the happiness and satisfaction of what was undoubtedly the best year of my life, when I was out in the world as the woman I had always felt I was meant to be. It also shows the three things I love most: sunshine, greenery and being out in a skirt. A simple, wonderful time.

Sue x

Cari lettori italiani

Oggi è l'anniversario dell'inizio dell'emergenza Covid. Stiate bene è speriamo che finisca quest'anno. 

Qui parlo del periodo più bello della mia vita, quando spendevo la stragrande maggioranza del mio tempo vivendo la mia vita da donna. Ero felicissima ed era a quei tempi che ho iniziato a scrivere questo blog per condividere questa gioia e incoraggiare le altre ad avventurarsi nel mondo reale.

Sue x

Thursday, 18 February 2021

More steps in trans living 4: coming out to lovers

Perhaps appropriate just after Valentine's Day...

Spending time in one's preferred gender inevitably leads to a double life, certainly early on in one's development, and I don't like that. How about my female life becoming ...just life, the life, the one and only life? Should one come out to others and integrate femme time with the rest of one's time? 

Obviously, that depends on your situation. Whether you are married and/or have children, want to work in your preferred gender or both, have parents and siblings, have friends you want to integrate into what has up to now been your 'other' life, really depends on whether you feel this will enhance your relationship. I don't propose to go into the subject generally here as it's long and complex, but continuing this series on my own personal steps in trans living, I will talk briefly about how I came out to partners about being trans.

Back in 1997 I vowed I would no longer deny that I was trans (Those biggest resolutions) and that therefore any romantic partner needed to know. I find the best moment to raise the subject is after a few weeks of dating when things seem to be going well. Coming out on a first date is not the best plan, in my view, but on the other hand I do not want to end up deep in a relationship and then find that my being trans is a sudden surprise and causes grave tensions. If my new love has a major problem and wants to walk away then raising the subject very early on is a time when no-one gets too emotionally hurt. As I've said before, nature can be cruel because often in our early twenties we want to suppress our transness, marry, raise families, only to find that our gender variance bursts out again with a vengeance twenty years later, leaving us to square the re-emergence of a status we thought we'd overcome with our startled spouse and children. It can be a shock to them after all that time to find that dad is really a lady, that the man or woman you married is anything but. As I say, nature is cruel in diminishing our trans fervour at breeding time but leaving a hormonal time-bomb to explode later. This is a subject to expand on again another time.

In my own case, very shortly after I first went to a dressing service, I got into a long-term relationship. We almost married, in fact. After a few weeks of dating I thought that it was going really well but that she needed to know that I was trans and that I was no longer able to suppress that side of me. I thought she would be receptive as we had first met a few weeks before we got romantically involved, and in a circle with other friends she had said how she had once shared accommodation with two gay guys, one of whom crossdressed, and how she had another friend who was a drag queen and she had attended his inauguration into the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence (a sort of drag nun protest performance group). So I assumed she would be receptive enough.

When to broach the subject? About six weeks together and she told me that she had been chatting to a friend recently who had married two years before. Her husband was now wearing her panties. When the wife asked him why, he said that "it was so they could feel closer together".

Now there are lots of reasons why a man might wear his wife's panties, but I suspect his reason was false, and I suspect you think so, too. Was he trans? Perhaps. Was he kinky? Perhaps. Does he simply prefer the look or feel of women's undies? Perhaps; some men do and there's nothing more to it than that. We don't know his real motives.

My girlfriend then said to me, "I advised her to leave him immediately. You wouldn't do that, would you?" Although I didn't like the sound of that, this was my cue and I came straight out with it that I was trans, that I express my female side by dressing as a woman, I told her my trans history, even that I had just been to a dressing service shortly before we met, hence my stubbly leg hair that was just growing back after shaving it for the photoshoot. I also said I was surprised at her suggestion to her friend, given that she was previously happy with her cross-dressing gay housemate and drag artist friend.

But for her and many others, being friends and being girlfriends are two different things. It was "I'm fine with the whole trans idea in principle, but not in my back yard... I'm not a lesbian... How can I possibly tell my friends that my boyfriend's a tranny?" And similar.

She didn't follow her own precept and walk out there and then but nor did she want to talk about the subject further, as if it would somehow go away. But when she wanted to talk about marriage or living together, I kept having to raise it. So, you want to live with a trans person who will need to dress and be femme regularly. How do you want to play it? And there would be tears and a wish it would go away or that I could be 'cured' by her buying me silk boxers because, despite my best efforts to clarify why some people are trans, she thought that maybe I just liked the feel of softer cloth. 

In the end I broke off with her for reasons unconnected with my being trans, but with the issue unresolved. So you see, despite this notion that trans people are politically permissible but personally undesirable, despite her own prejudices and precepts, she stuck with me after my early revelation but never wanted to face the practical reality.

There's one curious addition to this tale. Like most modern women, she wore trousers more than skirts but, unusually, she wore men's shirts as she found them more comfortable than women's tops. Usually a lumberjack style, which is interesting as her uncle really was a lumberjack (though not, as far as I know, a crossdressing one as in a famous Monty Python song, although a great uncle of hers was a known crossdresser). I digress, but it goes to show how women can wear what they like with no comment but if a man wears a blouse then he can expect endless comments and abuse. Admittedly, her crossdressing motives and mine were different.

That was in the mid-2000s. In 2010, right as my trans life outdoors was getting into its swing, I started dating another girl. We'd been friends for some years and have remained friends. It was probably not a good idea to introduce something romantic at that time of my life but Cupid is a little teaser and he's always ready to act at the wrong moment. A few weeks into our relationship, the Rocky Horror Show came to town. Again, a perfect cue as, naturally, a bit of dressing up is encouraged when the show's on. But it became clear that my turning up as Magenta the Maid wasn't desirable. (NB no, I wasn't going to go as Frank N Furter, I have standards you know!)

Here I became uneasy and as this girl is a gossip (not a nasty one; she just can't be discreet!) I didn't pursue the trans subject much beyond crossdressing possibilities and, given the strong need I had at that time to be myself as much as possible, things petered out romantically and soon after this she got back together with a guy she'd been with in her teens who was a fireman and was altogether the sort of hunky, manly guy she was after and who is good for her. As I said, we've remained good friends and she suspects I'm only an occasional party crossdresser, and it's best left like that.

It was a similar story with someone else after that. She enjoyed drag shows and also had an especial enthusiasm for the Priscilla, Queen of the Desert stage show but, again, performance art and transgender life are two different things (as most people actually know despite what a lot of trans activists fear). I think: "ah, here's someone who will be receptive," and then find that their romantic enthusiam is somewhat dampened when their ideal of manliness is challenged.

So, being trans can be a hindrance to romance, though by no means a deal-breaker. It's just another thing to be negotiated in a relationship. I believe it's better to be up front early on in a relationship, that way you avoid the anguish of a late discovery (like when you both turn up to the altar in wedding dresses!).

I'm currently single again but who knows ...



A dip in the archives

I don't know about you but after almost a year of Covid restrictions, I am so wanting to get back to normality, to travelling and to life outdoors. I felt somewhat the same in February 2014 after several weeks indoors. This also ties in with my last post about my desire to meet other trans people.

It's back with a vengeance

Sue x

Cari lettori italiani

Considero importante spiegare che sono transgender quasi subito quando mi trovo in un rapporto romantico, per evitare l'angoscia e la sorpresa più tardi. Spiego come ho fatto io a parlare su questo argomento con le fidanzate, e come si sono comportate dopo la rivelazione.

Sue x

Monday, 15 February 2021

More steps in trans living 3: meeting others

 A fun post. One of the things I felt I needed to do as I made my way out in the world ten years ago was to connect with as many other trans people as possible. The internet has made all the difference to trans lives. Gone are the days of connecting with others through small ads in the paper or in seedy magazines.

Online forums and social media have revolutionised the way we meet and interact, and finding information couldn't be simpler. I remember when I first got a PC at home twenty years ago and tentatively typed the word "transvestite" into a search engine, half expecting red alarms to flash and sirens to blare. Instead of which the first site suggested was that of Nicola Smith, UK Transvestite (Nicola Smith), with no sexual content and a recommendation of the Boudoir dressing service, who in turn alerted me to UK Angels, a forum, where in turn I met people online and became aware of venues like Pink Punters and events like Sparkle. A chain of information that worked well. 

Unlike smaller cities like Leeds or Manchester that had a recognised LGBT zone, my home city of London didn't and had a less obvious and more scattered trans scene. I spent a lot of time travelling around the country, therefore, because trying to find other TGirls in London was frustrating. You couldn't simply turn up in the 'gay district' and find others because there is no such district, and most of the clubs are either for people who won't go outside as I was now doing or have an emphasis on sex with strangers that is not my scene. Travelling all over the country did make my femme life expensive but the good friends I made and the fun times I had were certainly worth it. 

At Pink Punters nightclub

The one thing I really like to do, though, is eat out. Having a meal before going to a venue is, for me, the best part of the evening.


Eating Mexican

Eating Chinese

Evening in Milton Keynes

Organising lunch somewhere is, I find, an excellent way to meet like-minded people in a relaxed, convivial atmosphere and that was the way that I eventully got to meet girls in my area. Via UK Angels forum I'd simply let people know where and when I'd plan to be and if anyone wanted to join me. These Angels lunches became quite popular and we had various favourite venues like Salieri in the Strand, Melanie in Old Compton Street, the Cambridge and Chandos pubs at either end of Charing Cross Road, Sarastro in Drury Lane, Bistro 1 in Frith Street, Belgo Centraal in Seven Dials...

At the Cambridge

At Sarastro

At Belgo

At Salieri

Finally I had quite a collection of local friends and travelling round the country was no longer a necessity, just a pleasant alternative as and when. In late 2012 I met Rachel and her girls in Shoreditch and that expanded my circle, too. It was great to be able to meet others locally at last and go shopping or visit a museum or go to the cinema. You know, normal free-time stuff. So that we could be treated like typical, everyday women just living their lives and enjoying it.

A dip in the archives

Here's a post from early 2012 that sums up the lifestyle I was into at the time. It was a great balance of work and play, with lots of femme time:

Well, it's one way of living

Cari lettori italiani

Oggi continuo questa serie sulla vita che facevo dieci anni fa quando mi sono trovata uno stile di vita ideale. Era bello andare a trovare tante nuove amiche. 

Sue x

Thursday, 11 February 2021

More steps in trans living 2: contemplating transition

 In my last post I described how, ten years ago, I felt not only the need to live as a woman in the real world but experienced hormonal changes that felt in some ways like a second puberty. I began to wonder if physical transition was inevitable. 

Although the medical, social and legal processes involved in transitioning were clear enough, there is a difference between theory and practice. Socially it would not be impossible, especially as I was on the point of working for myself at home, although I was concerned about my family. Although I am more than old enough to distance myself from my family of militant fundamentalists, and have largely done so, the word militant is important as it is unlikely that they would leave me to transition in peace. Several trans women in similar situations as myself have had no end of harassment from fanatically religious relatives who cannot permit the 'abomination' of transgenderism to pass unmolested. One girl I knew even had to get the courts to force her parents to desist. So that was going to be a problem for me, but one to be faced if necessary.

The official recognition of transition was also a concern as it is a pretty long drawn out and distressing process. There have been some improvements in the last ten years but it is a serious decision to change name and status for every future interaction. I agree that, since it is a major decision, a little official resistance is needed to challenge any whimsical notions, but still one had to live full-time in one's true gender for at least two years before one could get a Gender Recognition Certificate to change one's status legally. My mind is a little hazy on the rules ten years ago as there have been changes since, but that two-year period started with your doctor referring you to a gender clinic.

Did I want to talk to my doctor? Did I want to go to a gender clinic? No hormones or other assistance would be available until after the clinic had taken charge of me, a referral process that usually took months, and often a year or more. And you were expected to be living full-time female. This is the problem with a lot of gender care in national health services: it's an all or nothing situation. Either you are committed to living a new life and being pushed towards gender surgery, or there's nothing for you. The overwhelming majority of trans people fall into the latter camp and get nothing. It varies between countries and there are slow improvements across the board but that's basically the choice I had ten years ago.

I am not one to rush into things and I like to be as informed as possible. So I decided to visit the gender clinic at Charing Cross Hospital in West London, not initially as a patient but as a visitor. I would arrange to meet up with girls after their appointments or accompany them there and chat to the staff or other patients or their relatives in the waiting room. The whole frustrating process became clearer as a result of these discussions, and from online forums, from (rather basic) clinic literature, and even from once gatecrashing a voice therapy class (the voice coach allowed me in).

Two things became clear. Although I was already making new trans friends, it struck me, first, that getting to know as many trans women as possible would broaden not only my knowledge base but also increase my social circle, which was going to be vital if family and friends turned against me. And, second, that it would be a good idea to try living full-time to see what that really entails. Believe me, that prospect seemed wonderful, but I try to keep my feet on the ground and wanted to discover what pitfalls there might be before they arose once I was committed.

So from autumn 2010 to spring 2012 I pursued a policy of doing as much trans stuff as I could and meeting as many other trans folk as possible. There are regular events like Leeds First Friday, Sparkle, Girls' Big Night Out and more at many venues and I started to organise meet-ups in London, mainly via the UK Angels forum, and invite girls to my home for makeovers. There were indeed many periods of weeks at a stretch when I lived as a woman. It was bliss, the best time of my life.

And I continued to consult girls about clinical transition, how it was working out for them, what problems they were experiencing. It began to strike me - as it did a number of girls undergoing treatment after a point - that surgical transition was not for me. I don't feel I have the wrong body. Being born fully female would have been better, but somehow turning my genitals inside out was not an answer to my own needs. 

It also became clear that a considerable number of transsexuals going to the gender clinic had underlying mental health or behavioural disorders, some formally diagnosed and some evidently not but that could and should have been; and it continues to trouble me greatly that, instead of caring primarily for those overarching characteristics like autism or bipolar disorder which have a major bearing upon social interaction and self-perception, and therefore on gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia, the transgenderism appeared to be dealt with largely as an issue of solving the dysmorphia to alleviate the excesses of distress that are more the hallmarks of certain neurological and mental conditions rather than a product of being trans. Surgery is a dramatic solution, and I feel that surgery at Charing Cross leaves a lot to be desired (as I have complained of many times in this blog, e.g. So you still want that gender surgery?). The emphasis on it also leaves most trans people out of the system. And pressurises others into transitioning fully who may have benefited better from a gentler approach. It is, however, a characteristic of the Western medical approach to bombard symptoms with drugs or surgery till they go away rather than adopting a more holistic approach, something that would respond so much better to transgender needs. In many ways, it is not so much medical intervention that most trans people need but a safe environment to exist in. These are huge topics which I may go into another day, but I found it all quite offputting.

What finally put paid to my consideration of formal transition was an eruption of trans-on-trans violence and abuse mainly in early 2012 that changed my whole relationship with the trans community and I have been opposed to the strictures of many self-appointed activists and influencers since. I wrote some quite distressed posts here in 2012 about this. Again, a major topic, perhaps for expansion another time.

So I did my homework, and found in the end that formal transition wasn't for me. Not a fail, but a success in finding out what suited me. 

But what about living full-time, and maximising my trans friends and social life, and coming out? These are topics I will cover next and will involve a lot of fun.

A dip in the archives

Here's a foretaste of posts to come, then: a visit to Manchester in October 2010 to take part in an academic study, meet new friends and old, and attend a local group. Here's us having dinner together.

Sue x


Cari lettori italiani

 Oggi parlo di come ho fatto varie visite all'ospedale di Londra dove i pazienti sono i transessuali che scelgono la chirurgia. L'ho fatto per cercare di capire se la transizione completa era la cosa giusta per me. Ho speso molto tempo a parlare con le altre ragazze, e alla fine ho deciso di non cambiare.

Sue x


Monday, 8 February 2021

More steps in trans living: body morph

 Last summer I wrote a series about my first steps in the wider world as a trans woman. To judge by the viewer stats, they were hugely popular posts. Links here:

First steps 1: my baptism of fire

First steps 2: the Great Drag Race 

First steps 3: getting out the front door

First steps 4: hair and makeup

First steps 5: Sparkle, my tribe 

First steps 6: conclusion

This all happened in the space of about a month, leaving me far more confident and certain that living visibly as a trans woman was not only possible but was the fulfilment of lifelong dreams. I was very happy. From then on I went out as and when and where I wanted. 

It also left me to contemplate the long-term future, and consider the sort of things that most trans women think about: should I live full-time female? should I transition? should I 'come out', and to whom? do I need more involvement in and support from the trans community? 

In my concluding post above I mentioned that as the summer and autumn of 2010 progressed I suddenly developed gynecomastia, when breasts grow. This is very common indeed, especially in puberty or in later life when testosterone drops, and is not confirmation of someone being trans. However, I was surprised by it, and the ache in my breasts as they grew was unpleasant. Female friends told me that that is what it's like being a girl at puberty. I did wonder when my breasts would stop growing, what sort of bra size I would need. Despite the pain, I was delighted! As it happened, my breast growth lasted only a few months, so I still feel the need for breast forms.

I also wondered if this was a psychosomatic response to my sudden transformation from closet TGirl to woman about town, or whether in fact the need I had felt to push myself to live my trans life openly was a subconscious response to hormonal changes. There may be no connection between the two events, but I suspect my body and hormones were calling the shots.

We don't know what causes people to be trans. There are a few scientific studies on unhelpfully small samples of trans people that provide some tantalising evidence but no hard conclusions. Genes, hormones, natural environment... it's not culture, that's for sure, and certainly not any kind of lifestyle or other social choice. Given the vast cultural, social, class, wealth, family and other differences between one trans person and the next, as I can see in the extraordinary social mix of trans people I have met that I would never normally have encountered in the course of my life, I suspect that there is a biological basis to it; otherwise you would have expected to find transness in a particular demographic only, rather than its cutting across all social, economic and geographic boundaries. Given several other less than masculine features of my body, I have always wanted to find out. 

This left me feeling that maybe transition was inevitable. But I am a cautious person and try not to jump into things whatever my hormones might be demanding or my desires or enthusiasms might be. My visits to the gender clinic are the subject of the next post in this series.


LGBT History Month

 Among various things happening this month, trans novelist Roz White has been reading from her books. Here's a link to her YouTube channel:

Roz White on YouTube

A dip in the archives

I have recently been corresponding with my friend Petra who reminded me of lunch at Melanie's restaurant in London when KD and her wife came to stay. You can read all about it here:

A tourist in my own city

Sue x


Cari lettori italiani

Oggi parlo di come ho continuato il mio sviluppo. Comincio a scrivere una serie sulla vita che ho fatto prima di creare questo blog. Oggi, la ginecomastia e altre caratteristiche fisiche che ho che mi hanno fatto considerare come vivere, se andare dal dottore e come affrontare una vita più pubblica.

Sue x

Thursday, 4 February 2021

New picture gallery

 I've added a picture gallery as one of the tabs above. Just a selection of 24 favourite photos (and a painting) that show my evolution. They're mainly portraits, some full-length shots, and a few in groups (just so you don't think I'm a totally vain with no friends!)

Comments welcome.


I'm working on a page of trans resources, too, which will appear in due course, and a page for readers in Italy. 

It's took me a lot of searching, but I was glad to find this old photo again, one of my very favourites. I've put it in the gallery.


A dip in the archives

 Last week, I wrote about the Roman emperor Elagabalus (half way through the post here: A dip in the archives: Elagabalus)

Blogger Clare Flourish recently wrote about another ancient ruler, Sardanapalus of Assyria, whom Elagabalus was described as resembling. Whether Sardanapalus really existed and whether his trans life is merely a moral tale is something I'll let Clare explain: 

Clare Flourish on Sardanapalus 

You can read the original description in Diodorus Siculus's Library of History, book 2, chapter 23: 

Diodorus on Sardanapalus's transgenderism

This is the trouble with the history of prominent figures. Allegations of their being trans may have more to do with later moral judgment than with their reality. This past year's many-sided attacks on trans people does make one wonder if anything really changes.

Sardanapalus wears a dress and does women's work with the ladies of his court in a late medieval French manuscript in the British Library

Sue x


Cari lettori italiani

Oggi ho pubblicato una galleria di foto che rappresentano il mio sviluppo ("Gallery", in alto). Fra poco pubblicherò una pagina biografica in italiano.

Sue x

Monday, 1 February 2021

Cobblers! need to be down at heel!

 Today I have shoes on my mind. One heel of my ankle boots disintegrated. Literally crumbled to dust. They're good-quality and I've been pounding the streets in them in all weathers for some years without trouble. So why this should happen when sitting around at home puzzles me.


I dare say the cobbler can fix them. Cobblers have repaired my girly shoes so many times, including a favourite pair of boots that I wore so much they were reheeled four times altogether. It's a joy to be out in your own beautiful shoes.

Originally, when still only presenting as male, I used to wait till a pair of my men's shoes also needed work and then take all "his and hers" items to the cobbler and pretend the feminine ones were for some partner. But as I grew more confident in my femininity, I just took whatever shoes wanted mending as and when they needed it. The cobbler is there to make money, why should he care who wears the shoes?


Positive thoughts

I confess that bad world news and a sprained ankle have been upsetting me. So I am trying to concentrate on those good things I have right now: where I am living has only the lightest Covid restrictions; the weather has been so mild and sunny this past weekend that I have been able to eat outdoors; I have time to read good books; I have lost over 1kg (2 1/2 pounds) weight this week; my aged parents have just been vaccinated against Covid... 

I hope all will be well where you are and that enough things in your life are so good as to make a positive difference in these awkward times.

Oranges ripening outside the front door

It's LGBT History Month

It is. Be historic!

A dip in the archives

Talk of shoes and positive things brought me to this photo from 2013, trying on shoes in a lovely shoe shop (Kurt Geiger in London).

Cari amici italiani

Meno male che la maggior parte dell'Italia è entrata in zona gialla questa settimana. Stiamo all'erta però perché senza precauzioni si torna nei guai. 

Oggi parlo di scarpe e come possono promuovere gioia, anche se  devono essere riparate di tanto in tanto!

Sue x