They

 A modern day follow-on from the previous post... An animal species discovered in 2021 has been given a non-binary scientific name, in honour of a gay activist. 

Scientific names for living creatures are Latin and may have an -ae ending if named in honour of women and an -i ending if named after men or groups of people. This animal, Strumigenys ayersthey, has the unique suffix -they, which breaks with this tradition. It is an ant from Ecuador. I'm not putting up a photo of it as it's not very pretty!

It's been named after US artist and gay activist Jeremy Ayers (who passed away in 2016) so as to honour his LGBT activism and the non-binary community. 

Maybe there will be more such uses. Let's hope scientists find something cuddly for the next name.

Incidentally, on the subject of they pronouns, the museum mentioned in my last post isn't using "she/her" pronouns, as widely reported, but "they/them". I've added a paragraph to this effect but it does illustrate my point that if respected modern sources can't report today's news accurately, what hope do we have of being certain of the past as presented by poisoned or prejudiced sources.

Weight loss

Now news of that curious amorphous creature, Blobella susannae. This week I have lost just short of a pound, so we're heading in the right direction still, but I've not lost anything like as much as last week. 

I notice that losing weight usually goes in steps, not steadily, and not necessarily for any discernible reason. So big drops are followed by plateaux. This week's a gently sloping plateau. Next week I want a cliff edge!

So far I've lost 10½ pounds in four weeks. I'm very pleased with that. I'll try to make it 11 by the end of the month. And then lose as much as possible before the dreaded Christmas blowout!

Sue x

Reassessing the trans past

 A lot of discussion has been whipped up in the press this week after the North Hertfordshire Museum in England decided that Roman Emperor Elabalaus was likely trans and they would refer to this person as 'she'. [See my last paragraph for an update on this, 28/11.]

I wrote about Elagabalus in 2021 and, to save you clicking a link, here's that biography and my comments:

Born with the name Varius Avitus Bassianus in Syria around 204 AD, he was related to Rome's ruling Severan dynasty. He was hereditary priest of Elagabal (one of the local Baal gods of those regions so often condemned in the Bible) and on being acclaimed emperor in 218, aged about 14, he brought his cult to Rome and adopted the typically sonorous imperial name Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus. He was nicknamed Elagabalus after his god. After a short reign that provoked scandal, he was assassinated in 222.

Roman sources (Herodian, Cassius Dio, Lampridius) suggest he was LGBTQI+ and then some! Dio (Roman History, book 80, chapter 16, section 7) mentions his seeking a surgeon for vaginoplasty and Lampridius (Augustan History, Heliogabalus, chapter 7, section 2) says he joined the worshippers of the Eastern goddess Cybele in their frenetic dances and duly castrated himself and bound his penis, as was required of her priests. 

These sources say he wore makeup, women's (or at least feminine) clothes, dressed up as Venus, slept with lots of men, was the bride in a marriage to a man, acted the female prostitute in brothels ...

One should treat all this with great scepticism. It's intended by the authors to be disgusting. Very briefly, this arises as it would seem he treated traditional Roman religion, protocols, culture and customs with some contempt, or maybe just with teenage and foreign gaucheness, and the Romans, being a virile culture, slated him with their long-standing prejudice against Eastern cultures and cults which they regarded as effeminate. Dio calls him a Sardanapalus, the name of the semi-legendary king of Assyria who allegedly preferred living in the women's quarters of the palace and doing women's work when foreign enemies were at the gates, and who has been used so often in political history as the epitome of an effeminate failure. 

So Elagabalus's alleged transsexualism is not intended as a compliment, or even a statement of fact. We have little idea of who this young person really was; his image and reputation have been destroyed by so much contemporary and later prejudice or offended pride. Politics is a dirty business at the best of times. Therefore, it is not clear whether Elagabalus really was a historic transgender person. 

I should add that the Augustan History I mentioned is a shockingly bad work, supposedly penned by six authors each writing a handful of imperial biographies, as a sequel to Suetonius's Lives of the Twelve Caesars, which by contrast is a competent and fascinating work by the man who was principal secretary of the imperial correspondence and who therefore had unique access to documents at the very heart of Roman power. No such access for the Augustan History that modern researchers are increasingly concluding (from stylistic similarities and internal clues) was probably written not by six authors but by one person using six pseudonyms for reasons best known to himself. A lot of the Augustan History is known to be fiction, such as the chapter on the "Thirty Tyrants". So such sources as we have are of doubtful value. To be honest, even a more reliable biographer like Suetonius has his faults: his lengthy descriptions of the aging emperor Tiberius's sexual interests - particularly in trans women - almost certainly derive from a poisoned source, possibly the memoirs in exile of Agrippina, mother of Nero, and we all know about him and his mother! These are similar in tone to the Augustan History's shock prose.

This portrait bust of Elagabalus in Rome shows a young man with a fluff of beard. We'd call him a teenager, although Romans were deemed to have reached adulthood shortly after puberty.

One of the issues around the whole Severan Dynasty (193-238 AD) is that they were the first non-Italian Emperors. The founder of the dynasty, Septimius Severus, came from what is now Libya, Elagabalus from Syria, his successor Alexander from Lebanon. The 3rd Century saw other emperors from all over, from Philip the Arab to several born in what is now Serbia. Naturally, the Romans themselves didn't like being ruled by what had previously been lesser peoples. Couple that feeling of lost hegemony with millennial suspicions about the East, its cultures and its motives and you have a situation ripe for xenophobia of all sorts. That East/West suspicion is still alive today, of course (see the plucky, manly, outnumbered Europeans fight the effeminate, bizarre Xerxes and his weird Persian hordes in 300 or listen to Western populists rant about "muslims"). 

The past is a different country. We shouldn't apply our modern culture and standards to previous cultures and civilizations. After all, they would have a lot to criticise about our day and place. 

So I wonder if this move by the museum is helpful. It's nice to hear that someone is thinking about trans matters and showing allyship ... but it's doubtful this person was trans, and was not exactly a role model. We're rather trying to get away from the crossdressing eccentric, excessive or serial killer, so beloved of, say, older plays or movies like Caligula, Psycho, Silence of the Lambs, Dressed to Kill... With poor sources and little but negative propaganda to go on, we just don't know if Elagabalus was really trans at all. I'd not go so far as to opt for "she/her" pronouns in this case.

[Add November 28th 2023: I notice that the museum is not using "she/her" pronouns, in fact, but "they/them" (North Herts Museum page), but considers Elagabalus to have been trans. My information when writing this post came from reputable journalistic sources such as The Guardian newspaper, the BBC website and Time magazine. This rather illustrates my point, that if quality contemporary sources get the facts wrong, what hope have we with old sources written by people with an agenda? Many thanks to Clare Flourish for her take on this, and for noting the action the museum itself has taken. Go to the real source, a good journalistic principle that I didn't follow! Clare feels the emperor was trans. I'd say we don't know. As a linguist, I'm not keen on using "they/them" pronouns in the singular, but it seems a reasonable compromise here.]

Sue x

Spot the trans person, or not

 Last week I said I was being discreet with what was on my washing line so as not to invite comment by builders and the neighbours with whom the works are being done. Sadly, I had to present as male, although these days my clothes are all entirely off the female racks. Indoors I didn't change anything much and my shoe rack with high heels was in view. When people are focused on work or their business they just don't notice your stuff. It takes an idle mind to spot something out of place and comment on it. 

I recall the day I felt least conspicuous in my early days of going out in public when my friend Emma and I were in London's Piccadilly Circus, the place that is proverbial for traffic and bustle. This was at six on a Friday evening, and in all that vast noisy throng not a single person noticed the two TGirls being swept along in the crowds. It's that midnight trip to the postbox that, ironically, makes a TGirl stand out, not when everyone's busy with their own thing. So it was the same with my builders and neighbours.

So that's good.

Not so good is the fact that the waterproof goo they put on my terrace still isn't properly dry after a week and they put sticky bootmarks all over the floor indoors. You try washing goo off the floor when it's waterproof! I'm quite cross about that. 

Anyway, we're ready for winter now. Although, ironically, the bad weather has passed and things are calm and peaceful again.

I've been shifting my plants back to the terrace now and hope that the lizards, geckos and other creatures who visit my pots will be back. This tiny fellow did come to say hello ... 

 

Weight loss 

This week I have lost a little over 3 pounds or 1.4 kg, which brings my total weight loss so far this month to just under ten pounds (4.4 kg). I want to lose 50 pounds by next 1st May, so I've got 40 to go. I'm very pleased with my progress so far, a fifth of the way already.

Sue x

Transgender Day of Remembrance 2023

 Well, here we are again. The sort of commemoration that the world shouldn't need. 

Today we remember all the trans people whose gender dysphoria cost them their lives, through murder or suicide. Trans people are more likely to encounter a violent, premature death than any other group. The hate and violence are on the rise thanks to the general increase in xenophobia this last decade. That's the subject for a separate essay but today we focus on the victims, hundreds of them. 

I wrote previously in this blog about Brianna Ghey, whose murder affected me a lot because of her youth, because she lived quite close to where I live when I'm in Britain, and because she died literally a stone's throw from where my dear friend Kate Collins lay dying (of natural causes, at least). I've just read in my paper in Italy of another teen, just 13, who committed suicide after endless bullying at school for being "effeminate". 

What to do? For today, let's remember all these poor people. May they rest in peace.

  Sue x

Trans photo shows, November

 I've previously mentioned quite a large number of art and photographic exhibitions that were held over the summer that are about or by trans people. Here are some more currently on. For all the rage against trans people in some places these days, there seems to be a lot of showcasing of genuine trans lives at the moment.

 

1) Outside the Western world I notice what looks to be a beautiful photo exhibition in Beirut, Lebanon, by photographer Mohamad Abdouni who captures the queer culture of the Arab world. Yes, the Arab or muslim world has always had a significant queer culture and the attacks on it are often influenced by Western sociopolitical ideas that came with colonialism and the search for oil rather than by conservative native ones. 

A review of Treat Me Like Your Mother: Trans* Histories from Beirut's Forgotten Past with photos is here: i-D Magazine

"In Lebanese culture" Abdouni says, you always respect the mother. It doesn't always necessarily have the best connotations, but when you're arguing in the face of misogynistic behaviour you can use that: reminding the other person that that person could be their mother."

The accompanying book synopsis: Cold Cuts

More of Abdouni's similar previous work can be seen here: 

Photoworks: Doris and Andrea

Communication Arts 

It's Nice That

Les Nouveaux Riches 

 

2) Nanténé Traoré, trans photographer and writer. His exhibitions of photos of trans people taking hormones are intended to show that trans people are like everyone else, seeking mutual support, chatting together over their hormones, and wanting to live their best lives ... and also to take trans people out of a world of folklore and subversion that might be wrongly attributed to them by others.

Fisheye Magazine interview (not for needlephobes) and only in French.

Photographer's Flickr page

 

3) Marcus Branch's Smell Your Flowers solo exhibition at Mission in Arts (MiA) in Philadelphia, USA. Branch is a photographer who intends to "uplift, honor and celebrate Black and Brown members of the trans community" in response to a significant number of trans deaths. 

Philadelphia Gay News review

Marcus Branch website

It's fitting to mention this here as we approach transgender day of remembrance.

4)  On a lighter note, I'll end with a link to an exhibition that is not trans-related at all, but Vincent Olinet's wigs as mops used in the publicity for the current exhibition of his work made me laugh. I think some of my old well-worn wigs are probably only fit for mopping now! A second life for used hair. See here: Vincent Olinet

 

Weight loss

Only a pound off (half a kg) this week, but still in the right direction. I am following the tried and tested Slimming World healthy eating plan and a spectacular weight loss in the first week is normal before it slows down. Nearly half a stone gone so far.

A dip in the archives

For copyright reasons I haven't copied any of the photos in the exhibitions above (click the links to view selected images from the shows). So here's me posing for a professional trans photographer, Stella M, back in 2014.

Sue x

Winter wardrobe preferences

 Discretion time. I have the builders in (not a euphemism, I mean for real). They're working with various residents to repair damage from last week's storm and to complete works that were started four years ago, got interrupted by the pandemic and were then finished hurriedly, leaving bits still to do. Of course, it means that I have to be more discreet with what I hang on my washing line. Not that it's any of their business but it's best not to invite curiosity.

It's getting colder but I am holding off putting on the central heating for as long as possible. It's not so much the high cost of gas these days as the psychological effect of doing so. It confirms the cold season's arrived and spring is a long way away. I tolerate cold very badly, which is why I moved from Northern Europe to Southern Europe (that, and the horrible political situation in Britain where I used to live). 

Though winter does mean, as I often say, that you can break out the smarter fashions. Cold weather requires more clothes and we TGirls are into clothes, especially smart ones. Partly because of the cold, partly for fashion reasons, I love knee-length boots best, even though they make a short girl like me look shorter.

A good coat and scarf never go amiss either. These models here show what I mean:

 

I've also got the long winter nighties out. A pink satin one with lace detail has always been my favourite. That was very welcome in bed last night as the temperature dropped.

OK, I don't like heavier dresses, tops or skirts as much as I like summer ones, and I prefer sheer to opaque tights but, let's face it, when you're a TGirl, wearing any dress or skirt is better than being forced not to. 

As ever, my faithful skinny jeans are on hand for a casual look. I do love leggings but they're not very warm in winter. Be warned that wearing tights under many leggings to warm you up creates elastane overkill and makes your legs very shiny. Maybe you want the disco pants look but it's a bit much for a day shopping in town!

My latest pair of knee-high boots on the train

 

Anyway, photos from home when the builders have gone.

Comments

There seem to be new problems with commenting on Blogger. If it doesn't accept your profile, just opt for Anonymous. I restrict comments to those registered on Blogger as this has done a lot to reduce spam, trolls and other undesirables.

Have a good week.

Sue x

The art of making things disappear

 I have decided to be ruthless with my weight loss this winter. I am tired of being overweight: I feel uncomfortable, ugly, self-conscious and unhealthy. I know the various reasons why I got to this weight but I also know how to go back to being slim. 

So I have made a clear target and timescale to lose 50 pounds (23 kg) in the six months between November 1st just past and May 1st next year. That will leave me at my ideal weight.

In the first week I have lost over 5½ pounds (2.5 kg), which I am very pleased with. I expect weekly losses to become harder to achieve as I approach the right weight but for now I'll enjoy the high achievement figures!

Wear a bra every day

I was intrigued to read about the Bra-tober challenge by Paula Gaikowski on the Femulate blog today. The challenge is to wear a bra all day, every day for a month if you are not full-time femme. 

The bra is probably the most characteristically feminine garment there is. If you don't have breasts, you don't need one; women have breasts, men don't, therefore these are not for men, goes the logic. Well, actually, you don't need a bra if you do have breasts, and some men have breasts, too ("Meatloaf has a very nice pair," says Hugh Grant in Notting Hill), but it's become an item that apparently women cannot do without! Like those kitchen gadgets that apparently transform your mealtimes. 

The first time I put on a bra it was the weirdest feeling. I was totally aware I had it on as no other garment I had worked in that kind of way. Some trans women like the feeling, even the discomfort, as it makes a statement about their femininity that their body can't really ignore. Until you get used to it, that is. I wear a bra every day now, it feels right and normal, and in the mornings the issue is no longer whether I get to dress as a woman today but what style and colour I should choose. Although I don't present as female in public at the moment, all my clothes are women's items. My bra is simply one item appropriate to wear with the rest of them. It's not as good as being full time female, but it's enough to keep me reasonably content.

If you aren't able to dress every day, or dress fully, there's always the choice of underdressing. Of course, in trans speak that doesn't mean not wearing enough, or not being smart enough for the occasion, but wearing women's clothes under your male ones. Since my theme is disappearing, you can, in my view, wear a bra to work if it's a well-fitting and discreet one and your clothes on top are loose and opaque. Go for it; it will make you feel more complete and your colleagues won't know. Nor need they know about your panties (don't forget to wear a belt!) Of course, some trans purists refuse to mix and match their female wardrobe with their male one. I can understand that, but for many it's needs must.

Caramac

Back to food! I'm sorry that Nestlé have chosen to discontinue the Caramac bar, which they bought from Mackintosh's (caramel + Mackintosh = Caramac). 64 years of sweet treats terminated - boo! 

I remember the first one I got from a vending machine at the very old-fashioned Acton Swimming Baths some time in the 1970s on the recommendation of a friend. It cost 5p then. Caramac was essentially a very smoothly milled fudge, and I got hooked on them! That's not why I'm fat, though. Well, maybe it is.

Sue x

Storm damage

 There have been four serious storms in fewer than three weeks and although I have made a few comments about the bad weather in previous posts, the last storm, that is dying down now, has had the most direct effect. 

I am careful to check the weather reports but my washing stand blew down on Saturday night as the storm started early. All my newly washed skirts and lingerie ended up in a puddle and have had to be washed again. At least none of my smalls blew into neighbouring properties, as happened a couple of years ago! Or exploded! I'm not having much luck with my underwear these days!* 

Windswept! Taken in Brighton, England, 2011

But my complaints are trivial because there's been a lot of damage. Two neighbours lost their adjoining wall in a loud smash of metal, concrete and glass yesterday. A roof blew off a building and crashed onto passers-by which happened to include the deputy mayoress who is now in hospital. As for damage to property through high seas, that's still being assessed as shopfronts crumble under the waves. We've lost one of the beautiful 150-year-old palms on the seafront. I'm very sad to say that several people have died. Life can change so suddenly in an unexpected instant; I find that frightening.

I hope it's the last storm of the season. Please stay safe where you are.

Sue x

* I realised whilst proofreading my draft that this is the sort of casual remark that starts intergalactic wars, if Arthur Dent's similar comment is anything to go by: The Vl'hurgs

Learning to walk in heels again

 It's been five years since I walked out in high heels. Yes, that long. Having my leg mashed by a cyclist was the main cause and Covid lockdowns protracted that time out.

I've brought some heels home with me from storage. You might rightly ask why on earth I didn't buy any recently, especially as I now live in Italy, the home of classy clothes; but the reason is just that: the classy clothes. Italian shoes are super chic but they are meant to look good in, not for actually walking about in. If you must move around, buy a Ferrari! is the attitude. Seriously, those Italian shoes, chic and expensive, are not for pounding the streets doing shopping in all weathers. The leather is beautiful but delicate, the fit too tight. British or German made shoes work better for that, uglier, cheaper and chunkier though they may be.

Of course, I've had heels to wear all this time (I'm a trans girl for goodness' sake!) but I am very unused to wearing them now, so I am getting accustomed to that again by donning my 4-inch heels each day. Ouchie! I'm definitely out of practice.

Bravaganza!

I was quite upset by my most costly brassière exploding in my hands the other week so I brought a lot of other bras with me from England, forgetting how many I already had in my drawer. I even bought some more of my everyday favourites (M&S full-cup underwired T-shirt bras with a satin look in various colours). Having survived lockdown with just three bras, now my drawer is bursting with them. They say you needn't put a bra in the wash every day, though I prefer to (yes, I like to make a clean breast of things!) so now I can wear something different every day for weeks! 

Having grown my own boobies (no hormones taken), I'd still like them a bit bigger. On the other hand, there's always the Fertility Goddess Look to aspire to that should see me using my entire bra collection all at once ...

Artemis of Ephesus

 

Storms II

It's storm season but there's been an unusual amount of destruction this year. We've just had our third storm in a fortnight, with torrential rain yesterday and a severe gale today. I've never seen waves so high here. 

A few days ago there was flooding in Milan, which remains my official place of residence, when the Seveso River burst. I remember the river as a kid when it was just that, and then they put it in a pipe and built roads over it but didn't do a proper job and every storm sees the pipe overflow, only this time it flooded several city districts. 

I had hoped to go and see the Jean Cocteau Museum in Menton this weekend that I mentioned a couple of months ago but it is shut because of damage from last week's storm. 

Fingers crossed that that's it for 2023's rough weather season. Stay safe and dry.

Sue x