His and hers packing lists

 Thirty years ago I was engaged on a work project in Edinburgh and forgot to pack something vital. I can't remember what it was - a shirt or shoes or something - but it led to a last-minute panic buy. And ever since then I have made a packing list of things to put in my suitcase whenever I leave home.

Obviously, when I started going out en femme, the list became more elaborate, with his and hers items to be included (and a bigger suitcase to match). In the end, I felt confident enough just to pack my female wardrobe and leave his stuff behind altogether. Maybe I'll be able to get back to that one day, health and circumstances permitting, but I'm currently in mixed case mode again, although the change I have made in recent years is that none of my clothes now come from the men's racks, even if I can't present as fully female. I'd prefer to be female all the time but, as I said, health and circumstances are against me.

I live mainly in Italy now but still have a lot of items in Britain so I don't need to pack any skirts or dresses. I'm contemplating whether to buy new makeup in Britain and keep a separate selection for use there rather than lugging my makeup kit there in my suitcase, but makeup doesn't last and I may not get enough chance to use it up before it needs replacing. These things aren't cheap and have limited shelf life, especially things like mascara.

Anyway, my packing lists are always comprehensive and I just cross off items that won't be needed (Sahara? No need for the umbrella, then) and just note how many of each item I'll need before wash day. Some people say I'm too fastidious but I felt vindicated when a girlfriend of mine used to make fun of my lists and only pack her suitcase on the morning of travel, invariably forgetting something crucial. 

I have a complicated itinerary this time and there's a lot to consider, so I'm taking my time to plan and pack.

 

Weight loss

I continue to lose weight slowly. I set a target to lose 50 pounds (22.7 kilograms) by the end of April, i.e. by this time next week. So far I've lost 32 (14.5 kg) and I can see a real difference in my body now. Coupled with consuming zero coffee and very little alcohol and sugar, with careful daily attention to skincare, haircare, epilation and dental health, I think my physical health and wellbeing are improving all the time.

In my favourite London coffee shop, Vergnano's in the Charing Cross Road, in 2010. No more coffee for me from now on! Not to worry, though, as they do an outstanding hot chocolate.

 

Obviously, I won't be able to achieve my target of 50 pounds as planned but achieving even two thirds of that is excellent. It should be easier to get the rest off as summer weather encourages lighter eating and more outdoor activities, although countering that is the fact that the amount you lose each week diminishes the closer you get to a healthy weight. Let's see what happens. Going away now doesn't help because I'll lose some control over what I eat.

When in Britain I'll pick up some of my old summer dresses, the ones that were UK sizes 10-12 (US sizes 6-8) as a promise to myself to slim into them. Like this simple but cute little thing. I'm almost there again.

By the River Thames, London, July 2011. It's supposed to be summer!

Sue x

Travel preparations, and celebrating queer classics

 I'm travelling to Britain at the end of next week and intend to stay for a month, and it's taken quite a bit of planning, hence the silence here. Of course, I used to live in Britain but, having visited twice last year, I now feel pretty alien in such a xenophobic, transphobic, run-down place. Brexit and the extremism that followed killed everything in my life there. But there are residual things for me to complete there so I must go. I shall be spending a lot of time visiting family and friends, too. Sometimes that will be pleasant, like a long weekend with Roz in the Highlands of Scotland; sometimes it may be tense, such as talking to Doctor Moron about his eccentric behaviour, or my transphobic sister about her hatred for lugbutts. We'll see how it goes.

I also plan to see some of my old trans girlfriends. It's not easy to organise a meet-up like in the old days since I no longer live in London and will need to have everything packed in a suitcase. I get the feeling that the virulent transphobia in the UK that I read about is mainly directed at the younger generation. I'm not aware of particular attacks on older transwomen. Well, not yet anyway. But it all makes me nervous.

In addition, I hope to see Suki, pen name of the widow of my lovely friend Kate, the anniversary of whose death was yesterday. Suki has always been the kindest of trans allies. I miss Kate so much and I'm crying as I write, which happens every time I think about it, so I hope Suki and I can find solace by seeing each other again. 

 

Frustration

It's been a boring week dealing with accounts and business stuff, too, hence the longer than usual silence here. My attempt last week to get my hair and makeup nice were thwarted by a beautifully warm and sunny weekend that brought people flocking to the seaside and made my rather light and open flat a bit too much of a public viewing gallery. There will be other opportunities.

Commemorating Lord Byron, the queer icon

George Gordon Byron, or Lord Byron, British peer, poet and queer icon, died 200 years ago today whilst on campaign in the Greek War of Independence. He spent a lot of time on the Italian riviera (now the region of Liguria where I live) are there are various commemorative events here today, especially in Genoa where he wrote much of Don Juan, and around the Bay of Poets (or Gulf of La Spezia), where he used to swim the two or three miles of water from one side of the bay to the other. An athletic, aggressive, even wild man, no doubt, with appetites that it's best not to enquire into too closely, but a remarkable poet. 

His satire on the Don Juan legend reverses the classic character and turns him not so much into a seducer but a man easily seduced, one who is at times an opportunist crossdresser, and the details of which hint at Byron himself having enjoyed a frock or two in his time. Try this crossdressing scene from Canto V, lines 609-637, which sounds like a typical trans maid dressing service to me!

And then he swore, and sighing, on he slipped
A pair of trowsers of fleshcoloured silk,
Next with a virgin zone he was equipped,
Which girt a slight Chemise, as white as Milk;
But tugging on his petticoat he tripped,
Which – as we say – or as the Scotch say – Whilk
(The Rhyme obliges me to this; Sometimes
Monarchs are less imperative than Rhymes)

Whilk, Which (or what you please) was owing to
His Garment’s Novelty, and his being awkward;
And yet at last he managed to get through
His toilet, though no doubt a little backward;
The Negro Baba helped a little too,
When some untoward part of raiment stuck hard;
And, wrestling both his arms into a gown,
He paused and took a Survey up and down.

One difficulty still remained: his hair
Was hardly long enough; but Baba found
So many false long tresses all to spare,
That soon his head was most completely crowned,
After the manner then in fashion there;
And this addition with such gems was bound
As suited the Ensemble of his toilet,
While Baba made him comb his head and oil it. 

And now being femininely all arrayed,
With some small aid from Scissors, paint, and tweezers,
He looked in almost all respects a maid,
And Baba smilingly exclaimed, “You see, Sirs,
“A perfect transformation here displayed;

Always remember, dear TERFS and alpha males, that being gender queer is as old as time. Byron's poem is intended as a challenge to your supposedly established order.

Here's a photo of the Bay of Poets I took when looking for a home in 2019.

And the beautiful, dramatic headland at Portovenere on the opposite shore where the jumble of rocks marks what remains of Byron's Cave, where he used to meditate and draw inspiration. It was a cave until the roof collapsed after a storm a few years ago.

 

It's a beautiful part of the world. Other poets and novelists writing in English who lived in this bay are Percy Shelley and his wife Mary Shelley (she of Frankenstein); D.H. Lawrence who lived here in 1913; Virginia Woolf (whose novel Orlando is an LGBT masterpiece); and Baroness Orczy, whose Scarlet Pimpernel character is also an opportunist crossdresser.

Sue x

Working plushie

 I was delighted to receive my Coco Peru doll all the way from Canada. She comes with a glow-in-the-dark alien friend. 

 

I've always liked Coco Peru with her disapproving look and catchphrase "This bothers me". Although she identifies as a drag queen, my T-radar senses there may be a lot more going on with her than mere entertainment. Her shopping trips on YouTube, for example, are enjoyable - just like any TGirl vlogging about Walmart, but with added dry humour. She's touring the UK right now.

Anyway, I now have a bit of modern culture in my own home.

And the glow-in-the-dark alien lives in the bedroom and now gives me the heebie-jeebies if I wake up in the middle of the night.

I never used to have soft toys but a tit-for-tat good luck soft toy exchange with a friend a few years ago spawned four dragons and a cow. The dragons here are not ancient fire-breathing magical creatures who sit upon hoards of gold but modern radiation-spewing jerks who normally guard my ill-tempered printer, my mobile phones and other electronic junk that we have to have these days. Given that this afternoon my banking app failed, my printer wouldn't print and my email was down for maintenance, I am trying to avert a nuclear explosion. Meet Rosa Chernobyl, Skye Fukushima (with bunny), Spike Windscale and Sapphire Threemile.

 We met Raimonda de Ray and the whale last week. They were bought to act as unusual cushions as Raimonda's colours matched the cushions I already had.

Thank you for ideas for a name for the whale. One commentator here suggested Moby, another Marina. Thanks, I shall consider those (along with an unrepeatably crude name from some other person elsewhere).

There's also Cuthbert the Snake who lives in the spare room but he's meant to be a draught excluder.

So no toys here unless they work for their upkeep! I'll have to find a job for Coco now.

 

Weight loss and makeup

I continue to lose weight. Another pound off this past week. It's all good and I can definitely see a difference in my figure.

I hope to have another fully made-up photo session soon. My epilation is good, my nails are good, my brows are tamed and I'm feeling more positive. I think the illness (2022) and death (2023) of my friend Kate, who gave me and others so much encouragement during lockdown, really took its toll, with so many other things, on my wish to look after my appearance. 

One friend has just reminded me of this song, and I certainly don't want to be just a boy named Sue, so makeup is back in my life.

Sue x

Slim, sexy and ... windswept

 Today I reached another milestone in my quest to lose weight: two stone off since November 1st. For those who work in metric, that's 12.7 kg. If I were still in the UK at Slimming World, where my current food optimising plan comes from, I'd get a shiny sticker for the achievement.

This week, I spent two days fully made up and took lots of photos (see previous post for Sunday's). Monday's pictures were of a more contemporary look with silver-grey lace-sleeve top, leather-look leggings, ankle boots and darker hair.

Although very sunny in this outdoor picture, the wind was strong and my hair was really getting blown about most of the time.

I still think I'm beginning to look old :-( ...

... but at least I can see the weight has come off, although there's still a  way to go (or is that a weigh to go?)

This is very much a current look among ladies in later middle age here and I have always been one who believes that blending in with what other women are wearing is best.

I didn't get out in the evening of Transgender Day of Visibility in the end. This is because of a torrential downpour and high winds that soaked my legs the moment I tried to step outside. Although there were high winds and rain/snow all over the Alps over the easter weekend, this was odd in that it came from Africa, bringing sand first, then precipitation. I found this fantastic photo to illustrate it, from Alessandro of Natural Mind Professional taken at Lake Lod at Chamois in the Italian Alps, north of where I live. The red layers of Saharan dust were blown in on March 30th and the snow on top fell on Sunday 31st. That translated to the rain where I was.

I was supposed to go away in the second half of this week but that plan fell through so I'll be getting my nail polish back on and trying out a few new outfits over the next few days. I hope there'll be more photos, too, as it's been a very long while since I was last willing or able to take some.

 

Feedspot

Thanks to Feedspot for continuing to feature and promote this blog among its Top Transwoman and Top Transgender blog lists, and for recently updating some of the info. 

Do check out some of the other excellent blogs they recommend:

Top Transwoman blogs 

Top Transgender blogs

Sue x

Trans Day of Visibility 2024

 It's a big day: here the clocks go forwards, it's easter and it's Transgender Day of Visibility.

I'm focusing chiefly on the last of these as I've managed to get my makeup on without health issues and, at long last, taken some new photos. 

But first, look at these gorgeous eggs a relative sent me. They're very much in my good books right now as they clearly know how much I love both chocolates and nuts! Nut coated chocolate eggs have got to be the best, right?

I thought I'd best photograph the eggs immediately despite being in my ancient grey dress as they were likely to get scoffed straight away but I managed to restrain myself from eating them till I'd put a new prettier dress on and done my nails.

Yes, I know I'm on a plan to lose weight but I'm prepared to suspend that for special occasions or life would be really dull. 

Truth be told, I think I'm looking a bit old and although I went outside (we're supposed to be visible today, you see) I really didn't like the photo results at all. Whilst getting ready I think I look OK ...

The world through a pink-tinted lens.

 

... but I look tired and old when ready for my close-ups ...

... so maybe it's best not to take any close-ups and just do full-length pictures instead.

This is the first time I have worn this dress. I bought it last autumn when I was fat and now it's too big but it's a nice spring pink colour so I thought I'd wear it. 

Sorry about the thick tights but it's a surprisingly cold day. But the fluffy cardigan looks nice with the dress, I think.

Someone was asking me recently about soft toys so I had a few poses with Raimonda the Ray and her companion, a blue whale whom I haven't named yet.

I've mentioned Raimonda before (Fluffy Things) - I bought her because she matched the cushions and she's soft with beans inside so she's like a cushion, too. But the whale doesn't quite match. I got him/her in Montpellier last year. Suggestions for whale names gratefully received. 

I hope to go out walking later and be properly visible. If so, it will be the first time I have been out and about en femme since 2018, so I am very nervous. But I will let you know in my next post if I manage it. I also plan to spend the next two days taking more photos as it's been such a while. And besides, I don't want to take my nail polish off just yet.

I hope the world realises that we trans people exist, have a right to exist and are nice people. I was delighted to read President Biden's words about Transgender Day of Visibility quoted by Stana in her inimitable Femulate blog here. More leaders need to have the humanity and courage to do the same.

Wishing you all a good weekend and lots of chocolate.

Sue x

Health drive

 As part of my weight-loss programme, I'm also cutting out certain things that I've realised are not good for me. 

Coffee - The most significant thing I've dumped is coffee. Now, coffee is for me a very strong drug. I never have more than two cups a day or I won't sleep that night. 

For 15 years or more I've had digestive problems that doctors couldn't solve. After a lot of thought, I suspected that caffeine might be the cause, but decaffeinated coffee made no difference, and tea and soft drinks that also have caffeine don't have any effect, so I looked elsewhere for causes, without success. A few weeks ago, I decided to forego coffee for a while to ensure best sleep and within a fortnight my digestive problem vanished. Although I've drunk coffee since my teens, it used to be that instant stuff. Fifteen years ago I started working for myself at home and had time to make real Italian-style coffee and that's when the problems began but I didn't put two and two together then. I wish I had. Still, at least I know now. The coffee machine has been retired.

Alcohol - As part of losing weight, I have inevitably reduced the amount of wine and beer I drink. In much of the Western world, alcohol is a social lubricant that gets conversation and bonhomie flowing, and here in Italy a glass of wine with a meal is so normal that there are no taxes on it. But it's very fattening, hence my reduction now. I've noticed how much better I sleep, work and feel without it. And I'm wondering if very low alcohol intake may also be helping a bit with the body temperature regulation problem that was what caused me to move to the Mediterranean in the first place. So I think that unless it's a significant social occasion, I'll go without booze from now on. It also saves a lot of money!

Sugar - Obviously, the sugar has to be cut down if you want to lose weight. For years I've known how too much sugar can really irritate my gut so I've always been moderate with it, although I have a sweet tooth so sweeteners are part of my daily diet. The artificial ones like aspartame are best avoided as, over time, they are not good for your liver. Things like sucralose are better, but even they provoke your body to make excess insulin as it anticipates sugar from the sweet taste but doesn't get it. I'm gradually cutting down on this, too. 

All this is the stuff from the East that Western mercantilism and consumerism have asked us to buy and swallow for centuries. Curse you East India Company!

So I am excited about my weight loss. Today I am just half a pound (0.2 kg) short of a two stone (12.7 kg) loss to date. My target was to lose 50 pounds (22.7 kg) by May 1st so have a gigantic (and dangerous) effort to make if I want meet that now, but the main point is that I am now much lighter than I was. In fact, I am probably the lightest I have been for ten years and still losing so I can get back into those cute little dresses and short skirts I used to wear.

What a waist!

As for the hay fever or allergy I have been suffering from these last few weeks, which arose in a warm week in February when I did lots of spring cleaning with the windows open, apparently there is an epidemic this year involving not only regular hay fever sufferers but also a huge number of people who don't normally suffer from hay fever but who have been affected for the first time because of a combination of pollen and pollution at an unusual season. My condition is improving. 

It's been unusually wet this winter which has made me feel cold but the benefit has been that the local reservoirs are full, a relief after the worrying drought of 2021-23.

There is a very strong, cold wind blowing which is set to remain for a week. I think I shall stay indoors and plan my trip to Britain in May. It's never cold and wet there!

Here's to perfect health.

Sue x

Back

 I'm back to my blog after my visitor has gone, and I notice the bots have been at work. It's hard to judge what real people are reading here when there are thousands of hits a month from some weird entity. Oh well, the wonder of modern communications and all that.

My recent visitor was very pleasant company and came primarily to help me sort and file hundreds of documents. You wouldn't believe the amount of paperwork that moving from one country to another generates! At lest some nice spring weather enabled us to spread everything on my outdoor table. It's so much pleasanter to work in the sunshine than indoors. Even a boring task becomes agreeable!

 

Bird of paradise flower in the spring sunshine

My assistant has recently graduated in English and had a lot to say about gender-bent literature, such as a recent production of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew where the shrew is male not female. Additionally, she told me in some detail about her dissertation on women science fiction writers, such as Ursula Le Guin and Anne Leckie, and their imaginary worlds where gender works in a very different way to that among the humans of Planet Earth. Rather interesting. (You can read about some gender issues in sci-fi in my previous post here: Pizza, apes and aliens.)

On the theme of books, more and more little book exchanges are springing up all over the place. This one in a park in Ventimiglia, on the border between Italy and France. A great idea. Take one and leave one.

She asked no questions about my being trans and did not refer to the trans side of her sister. These days I operate on a 'need to know' basis and if gender discussions arise only when talking about books then so be it.

Inevitably, going out involves eating out and that affects my ability to control my weight loss so I have had a bit of an increase this week. But I am confident that I will be heading in the right direction again in the week to come. I can certainly see and feel the difference.

Sue x

A bit of a break

 Sometimes you need a break from the routine so I took the last week or so out from the blogosphere and social media. It's not like there's as much cheerful reading out there these days as there used to be! 

There are various things that have gone wrong in my home largely because of the wet and windy weather we've had of late. A small leak from the roof, a faulty air con unit and other electric problems. I continue to suffer from some sort of allergic reaction that makes me sneeze a lot and can't put my finger on it, although that's diminishing now.

But, on the positive side, I have been losing weight as intended, although not as rapidly as before. That slowdown is intentional as it's not healthy to crash down. Last Friday I had this urge for chocolate and wine, both of which I have largely avoided these last six months, and thoroughly enjoyed a 200g bar of milk chocco with hazelnuts and a bottle of easy-drinking red. I've got those cravings out of my system now and my weight-loss plan didn't seem to suffer too badly for it. I'm over half way to my target of 50lbs (22 kg) off. When my nose stops running and ruining my makeup, I'll take those wretched update photos I keep planning and never being able to do. Who said trans life was easy?

The daughter of a very good friend of mine is coming next week to help me with some secretarial/clerical work I need doing. As her mother is a very supportive trans ally and her sibling has spent some of her teenage years socially transitioned as F-M (although now seems to be reverting to F), I think I will have pleasant support from a young person. I have every confidence in this younger generation that seems far more humane and in touch with gender and sexual realities that previous generations, including mine.

I have also made plans to revisit the UK in May, partly to continue dealing with residual administrative matters and also to see friends I wasn't able to see during the Brexit and Covid years.

A dip in the archives

Seven years ago I went for a day out in London with a friend. It was cold, but going out as a tourist in the low season was a good plan. Here's me at Buckingham Palace.

You can read the story of my day out here: Another Day Out

Sue x

Transgender arts and culture, February 2024

 Some of the spectacles with a trans theme I have spotted from around the world this month.

 

Music

1) I wrote a lot about the huge Sanremo Music Festival earlier this month (Body, mind and Soul; and A carnival of camp; and For all the transphobia, there's understanding out there) and I'm pleased to see that the openly bi and trans-ally contestant, BigMama, who made the most impression on me, was invited to the United Nations in New York to speak at the Arts for Global Citizenship event for young people. She spoke about bullying, body shaming and discrimination of all kinds, which she herself has suffered from significantly. I think as trans people we can relate to all that.

2) Obviously, BigMama benefits from a half century when being openly LGBT+ is legal. I notice a book out (Non Tocchiamo Questo Tasto (i.e. Best not press that key) by Luca Ciammarughi) about classical composers of past centuries who could reasonably fall under the queer umbrella and how they surreptitiously defied censorship in their works. Could be interesting. There has, after all, been a recent biopic, Maestro, about conductor and composer Leonard Bernstein that was able to present his bisexuality to modern audiences.

Carnival

It's the carnival season, which is especially celebrated in Southern Europe and Latin America, although there's also a significant one in Basle/Bâle/Basel, Switzerland. I mention it as many of these are centuries old and have always provided an opportunity for people to go about in disguise. In places like Basle the costume traditionally covers all the body; in Venice, say, you may get away with just a mask, but wearing an all-over disguise is more in the spirit of the event; in Rio, the skimpy outfits are for the boldest only!

As, traditionally, you don't ask who's under the disguise, this annual opportunity to go about dressed differently has always been a godsend to trans people who need the chance to dress but without giving themselves away. In English-speaking countries, Hallowe'en has the same kind of usefulness.

It's also an opportunity to be very creative and wear something astonishing. These items from Venice:

Photo by Massimo Telò

Photo by Shesmax

Who can say who's underneath these extravagant female costumes and china masks?

The Venice Carnival is ongoing. The carnivals in the Canary Islands are famous for their more open opportunities for drag and crossdressing. Gran Canaria's drag queen parade is the largest but there are other such parades on other islands, and it's common for people to take the opportunity to present as another gender for whatever reason or none.

These events, where normal life is upended and ordinary people can let their hair down, are thousands of years old and have always been an outlet for trans people. Such cultural outlets will always exist. For a bit more discussion of these events, see the second part, the "Dip in the Archives" of my post here.

 

Photography

Queen Bees by Luigi Lista

Luigi Lista has been following the trans community of Naples for six years and his book of photographs, Queen Bees, was published last year. Sleek Magazine's short review, translated (poorly) into English from a longer interview, is here, with lots of his photos: 

Queen Bees

© Luigi Lista

 

I hope you've enjoyed the extra day this month!

Sue x

Weird health histories

 Despite being reassured by the London allergy clinics, with whom I spent a lot of time in the early 1990s and in 2014-16, that I have no known allergies, I have had some sort of streaming nose and sore eyes for nearly a fortnight. I am not sure why. Antihistamines are helping and the last couple of days have been better. But I suspect that, as with my killer eczema, it's probably due to my immune system being underemployed and attacking innocuous things or overreacting to something. This is one reason why there seems to be so much more hay fever, allergies, asthma and rashes these days than there used to be in the days when our bodies had to fight off plague, parasites and pox. As one consultant said, "There's no allergy that a good tapeworm wouldn't cure!"

Now, I'm sure a good tapeworm would also help me slim a lot faster, too! My old school science teacher, who was always one for telling weird stories, said that around the turn of the twentieth century, ladies who were struggling with their wasp-waist corsetry could swallow a 'slimming pill' that was, in fact, a tapeworm egg. Once their little guest had helped them reach their desired weight, they would swallow the magic 'stop' pill, which was some antidote or worming tablet, and end their decline. I can't be bothered to check how true this tale is but I can say that I don't propose to go to the dubious-looking late-night kebab van to get a free sample of tapeworm with my purchase to help me either slim faster or get over whatever this allergic reaction is.

Anyway, I'm happy to report that, although my weight loss has lessened a bit recently (since I did need a bit of a break from the full-on slimming programme), I have lost 10.5 kg or 23 pounds to date. Nearly half of what I wanted to lose on November 1st has gone, and my healthy weight range is in sight. Ideally I'll be at target by the end of April, although that's a challenge. But if you don't set a challenge then it's too easy to just amble along and not make enough effort. 

Anyway, the next post will be about the positive stuff I've seen and heard in this LGBT history month.

Optimum size

 

Have a good week.

Sue x

Cinderella time

 As a teenager, I was spellbound by a certain stage production of Cinderella: the ballgown to die for, the gorgeous wedding dress, the  wonderful set, the costumes, the delightful music ...

No, not a pantomime or a film, but the opera by Rossini performed at La Scala opera house no less, which some kind and generous soul had given us tickets for.

I wrote more about this here: Frocks to make your heart sing.

At the weekend, they showed the video of that very production on TV and I sat as delighted as I had been all those years ago. I laughed at the gags, cried at the mistreatment of the heroine, sang along to the music and rejoiced at the justice of the ending.

Ponnelle's production for La Scala of Rossini's La Cenerentola with Frederica von Stade in the title role. Uncredited photo from IMDb.

 

As I said last time I wrote about this: isn't every TGirl a little Cinderella, really? She has to fight for her right to take part in the social life of her country and be treated with respect. Frankly, I think we all merit a lovely dress for every big outing... And, frankly, whenever we feel like wearing a lovely dress just for the sake of it, too.

The weather has turned to spring and I've been able to eat my lunch outdoors again. Last night I heard the first frogs of the season. And the first mosquito of the year paid a visit to my bedroom. I heard it quite loudly by my ear. No wonder it was loud as I had rolled my head over onto it and it was trying to get out of the tight embrace it was in between my face and the pillow! I have also been doing a lot of spring cleaning, throwing out old stuff and generally tidying and rearranging. Except that dust and/or cleaning products have set off an allergy and I have been sneezing for a week. I even had to take an antihistamine today. But I've been enjoying my Cinderella time: an old comfy dress and house shoes, nothing attractive obviously or it might get spoilt. I have always delighted not just in the fancy TGirl parties but in the everyday humdrum life of a trans women getting on with her household chores or relaxing with a book. I don't have to be preening in front of a mirror or strutting on the dance floor to feel comfortable in myself.

 

I was hoping to take a photo of myself as it's been ages since I last did so, but this constant blowing of my nose has put paid to my makeup! Another day soon...

Sue x

For all the transphobia, there's understanding out there too

 Do you remember this cover of Time magazine, from ten years ago?

(c) Time, 29 May 2014

The article is here if you're interested: The Transgender Tipping Point

We really thought we were moving towards a rosier future for trans people. Clearly, in the USA, things went backwards under Trump and are difficult in certain states now. In the UK, even the deranged British Prime Minister Theresa May, for all her hatred of human rights, planned to extend trans rights, but her replacements, the crooked Boris Johnson, the mad Liz Truss and the cruel Richy Sunak have used trans people as a source of abuse. I feel only revulsion at Sunak making a transphobic joke specifically when the mother of a murdered trans teenager was attending parliament the other week. It shows new heights of nastiness.

My blog intends to be positive overall. I was amazingly happy when I first started writing my blog in 2011 as I made my way as a woman in the world. Now I am uncertain. But one thing I do know is that in the European Union I stand a better chance of long-term tolerance than in the English-speaking world. Although here in Italy there is still a way to go, which makes me cautious. 

Nevertheless, I open a recent copy of the Italian edition of Elle magazine and it has an article for parents on how to help your child if he or she is trans or struggling with gender issues, reviewing Emma Mirò's recent book on that very subject.

My December issue of Mind magazine (dedicated to neuroscience and psychology) discusses teenage image and, without judgment, simply talks of gender identity as part of the issues that teenagers face when engaging with the world and with their peers. Later in the same issue, there is a long and emotionally difficult article on electroshock, emetic and other aversion 'therapies' to 'cure' LGBT people, which were used in the 20th Century. None of these treatments worked, they conclude, they simply tortured people and are now rejected by civilized medicine because being LGBT is inherent and not a mental health disorder.

My daily regional paper, Il Secolo XIX, had a long positive obituary on 6 January about Ulla, the last of the grand old "princesas" of the trans ghetto of Genoa, who took so many TGirls under her wing. If you want to know more about the trans ghetto of Genoa, see my page on the photography of Lisetta Carmi: Identities. Ulla was subject to annoyance by the police throughout her life as she never transitioned despite living as a woman, and when an ordinance from the city authorities as recently as 2009 tried to close down certain venues for "immorality", the locals stood with the trans community as the girls actually kept crime out of their patch. 

The paper's monthly health supplement has five pages on the gradual weakening of the Y chromosome that has just been sequenced, on the implications of that for men in the long term, on non-binary people, on gender dysphoria and how begging governments for trans rights is unjust. 

I'm not looking out for articles on trans subjects specifically, these just crop up regularly in my normal reading of mainstream media articles here. And they are all trans supportive, just accepting being trans as a reality of life. For all the noisy hate that some politicians and TERFS spew as a distraction from the chaos and corruption they create, I think society as a whole is broadly trying to understand us and acknowledge our difficulties.

I'll be continuing to post the positive stuff.

Sanremo Festival aftermath

My last two posts on the annual Sanremo Song Festival seem to have generated a great deal of interest, to judge by the stats. The overall winner was Angelina Mango, who will present her song La Noia ("Boredom") at the Eurovision Song Contest in Malmö, Sweden, on 7-11 May. 

For me the champion was Big Mama with her song La rabbia non ti basta ("Anger just isn't enough for you"), a song condemning childhood bullying and abuse. Her support for LGBT people, and those suffering in one way or another, was pretty unequivocal during the show. It's not really my kind of music but I wish her well. Great outfits, too!

Anyway, some are saying it was the best festival ever. The outgoing mayor hopes the event can be extended to two weeks in future. That's all very well for the hospitality industry, but it's chaos for us ordinary mortals who need the bank or the department store or even want a coffee in town during that time as these businesses close so as to be given over to radio execs and TV engineers. "Good for the economy" is a phrase that never quite seems to include me!

Sue x

A carnival of camp!

 I’ve had a surprising amount of interest in comments on my last post, on Facebook and elsewhere, on the camp funfest that is the annual Sanremo Music Festival, so I thought I’d expand on that. 

Here Storm Pulcinella is bucketing down as I write but that doesn't stop the loony tunes festival. I'm not prepared to watch all 5-6 hours of TV every night just to report back, but it's proving quite fun, even if Sanremo town centre is virtually off limits to ordinary mortals. 

The main venue is the Ariston theatre, that for much of the year operates as a four-screen cinema:

(c) Fotogramma : adnkronos

2024 sees a fabulous stage, an outstanding presenter, varied music, lovely flowers (all grown locally through the mild winter), and lots of peripheral events... I'm not sure that John Travolta's rendition of the birdie song accompanied by fluffy dancing ducks was the high point of his career, but hey!

 

(c) Il Gezzettino.it

 

Big Mama, twerking in tomato-red tights with trans symbols on, dedicates her song to the queer community (thank you). Alessandro de Santis, one half of Santi Francesi, performs in a rather lovely glittery floor-length black evening dress. Ghali has sparkly bracelets and earrings that look very feminine. Marco Mengoni wears leather culottes by Fendi that look like a skirt. And is that a skirt that one of the boys of BNKR44 is wearing? Or some kind of Tarzanesque loincloth? Who cares, it’s not boring trousers, so that’s good.

Of course, being a giant national event, it attracts politics, such as Ercolina 2, a cow protesting against the EU Common Agricultural Policy (successor to the original Ercolina who was famously granted an audience with the Pope in 1997 whilst protesting about milk quotas). Ercolina 2 appreciated the Sanremo Green Carpet to the extent of eating some of it! Well, it is organic!  

The carpet tastes lousy, but the flowers are good! Ercolina 2 at Sanremo 2024. (c) Liguria Notizie

The event is heavily mediatized, though, and only about one third of seats in the Ariston theatre are available to music fans; the other two thirds are for radio and TV people, music industry execs and the like. Ditto the vast cruise ship with DJ and outsize LED screen flashing messages to shore all night.

The first festival was held in 1951 in the theatre at the casino, and the huge Ariston theatre was then built to house it from 1977. The event spawned the Eurovision song contest and if Sanremo council had remembered to renew an old contract with the government, Sanremo would have hosted Eurovision in 2022. The winner of the song contest gets a trophy, a guaranteed music career, and, better still, a municipal drain cover with their name and song on it!

(c) Tonino Bonomo: Sanremonews.it

No complaints so far from the local homophobic bishop this year that it's too camp. In fact, a very conservative Catholic organisation, Opus Dei, has just put out a list of pop songs that its faithful may enjoy without guilt. 

Besides, any more anti-queer abuse from the bishop and Big Mama might well crush his head like a walnut between her gigantic thighs! (Only kidding, bishop; though she might not be!)

It's a commercial pop show, so of course it's camp and a bit gender-bending. This is the creative world for you. And that's why everyone loves it.

The winner will be announced at the end of Saturday night's TV marathon.

 

Weight loss

Only half a pound off this week; I've lost focus a bit. And maybe that glass of wine to celebrate January is at fault! It'll be better next week.

Sue x

Body, mind and soul

 I've lost 20 pounds (or 9 kg) since November 1st, so I have 30 to go to target. I'm almost back where I was two years ago before the distress of the Ukraine war and its refugees took my mind off slimming. 

I hope to be at 28 pounds (2 stone, or 12.7 kg) loss by the end of this month, although I appreciate that that's quite a challenge. But I think I should set the bar quite high, otherwise it's easy to lose focus. I'm fed up with being overweight, literally!

Doing "Dry January" really helped. I think I might try to give up alcoholic drinks altogether except for big social occasions. On February 1st, as I'd been so good with my slimming in January, I thought I'd treat myself to lunch out in my favourite restaurant and I even ordered a glass of white wine as a reward for having had none the previous month. (It's very hard not to have wine here in Italy. They think you're weird if you don't.) The rest of the afternoon I felt sluggish even after just one glass so really it's better to do without it. Like so many 'bad' things, like coffee, sugar, tobacco, watching TV... it's just a habit as much as anything.

Anyway, I enjoyed my lunch out very much! You can get tired of your own cooking!

I took the train to Nice a couple of days later just to enjoy a change of scene. They were preparing for the two week long Carnival later this month. I enjoyed a bit of shopping, a museum (the Palais Lascaris with its beautiful interiors) and the book fair in one of the squares where they were virtually giving away antiquarian books. I selected one, an 1862 leatherbound volume in reasonable condition for just two euros!

 

This week we have the Sanremo Music Festival on, which is the biggest annual national event in Italy. Covid stopped the Olympics but it didn't stop this! Nevertheless, this is the first festival unaffected by Covid since 2019 and they are making a HUGE thing of what is already huge. Last night I watched the fabulous firework display over Sanremo harbour from my home up the hill. Did you know they now have fireworks that burst in the shape of hearts, smiley emojis and musical notation? I didn't, but they do. Offshore, a huge ship for celebs to party in was all illuminated and had a laser show to match that in main square.

Anyway, the festival, which is a national song contest now in its 74th iteration, provides five hours a night of top TV for the next week. You don't venture into the town centre without a ticket and the "City of Music" is full of TV presenters, fey popstrels, dazed rockers blinking in the daylight and drooling drummers in chains with their minders. Apparently, John Travolta will be co-hosting on Wednesday. Here are some pictures of the preparations and the Green Carpet (Sanremo is not just the City of Music but also the City of Flowers, so the red carpet is green!)

The Ariston Theatre, a huge building that takes up much of a city block, is the main venue.

The main square, normally an empty, open space

The Green Carpet

In 2021 the Festival played on despite the raging pandemic and Måneskin, a genderfluid group, won, which really boosted LGBT morale here. I wrote about that here. They then went on to win the Eurovision song contest. 

I'm not sufficiently keen on contemporary pop music to join the crush in Sanremo but I plan to walk the beautiful coast road this month. It'll get me fresh air and help me lose even more weight.

Later, as the spring emerges from winter we will have the Milan-Sanremo cycle race, local carnivals, the Flower Parade and other events. I feel glad I moved here from Britain. Between New Year and Easter, the UK has no festivities or public holidays at all in the darkest, coldest period of the year. Here they realise that people need fun and festivity precisely because the season brings little joy in itself. I'm looking forward to the forthcoming events, including Pride in April.

Brianna Ghey judgment

I will comment on this in a more serious post, but I tuned in live to the sentencing hearing and my feeling is that the sentence is correct. 

 

Sue x

Transgender arts and culture, January 2024

 Last year I wrote a number of items about art and photography shows, plays, films, etc. with a trans theme or slant. To judge by the number of views, they were popular so I plan to do more of these every month or so. 

Here I aim to show that in the world of creativity, being trans can be a status worth celebrating. This month I have spotted various items in France and Italy, with contributions from further afield.

 

Art

Paraventi: folding screens from the 17th to the 21st centuries at the Prada Foundation in Milan (to 26 Feb) may seem an odd exhibition to include here, but it is receiving much praise. It includes a section on how the queer community has turned a screen for dressing behind into something transgressive. 

From the Mousse Magazine review:

“Painting or sculpture? Art or furniture? Utilitarian or ornamental? Decorative, functional, architectural, or theatrical? This innovative exhibition examines the many questions and paradoxes surrounding the unfolding history of the paravent." (Curator Nicholas Cullinan)

Queer aesthetics are at the center of another series of works that transform this everyday object into an overtly subversive decoration element. From an Omega workshop screen by Duncan Grant from the Bloomsbury haven of Charleston to a rare 1929 screen made by Francis Bacon and World of Cats (1966) by British actor, writer, and collagist Kenneth Halliwell through to works by contemporary artists such as Kai Althoff, Marc-Camille Chaimowicz and Francesco Vezzoli, a culturally disruptive narrative is told. 

There are many online reviews of this exhibition but the most entertaining is this one from Designboom. 

 

Theatre

(1) In the port of Savona, NW Italy, the show Finora [Up till now] performed Anna Giusto and Giancarlo Mariottini, covers the personal search by actor and actress into male and female identities through the exaggerated femininity of drag queens and faux queens, so as to challenge the irrational threat that some people experience if they believe in rigid gender norms. 

Officine Solimano promotional material for Finora in Savona, Jan 2024

(2) Vladimir Luxuria, former member of the Italian parliament and trans actress, continues to tour with Princesa, a show about the difficult life and tragic death of Brazilian trans woman Fernanda Farias de Albuquerque, based on her autobiography. There was also a 2001 film about Princesa.

 

Promotional material for the Princesa tour

Film

Arche de Noé (Noah's Ark), starring Valérie Lemercier, is a French comedy drama about a centre for young LGBT people who have felt it necessary to leave home. They have six months to find their feet. 

There doesn't seem to be an English version yet, though, but the French trailer is here:

 

It has mixed reviews.

I discussed such a centre last year: Like a Box of Chocolates (second item: La Bulle).

 

Obituaries

Vincent Honoré, exhibitions curator at MO.CO. (the unique Modern Arts 'ecosystem' in Montpellier, France) died on November 29th last. His exhibitions included the highly acclaimed 2020-21 Possédé·e·s (Possessed) on the theme of "deviance, performance, resistance", exploring

the relationship between resistant or excluded bodies and esoterisms: a means to reappropriate and perform feminist, queer or decolonial identities.

The centre's pages, including videos and photos of the exhibition and a 32-page illustrated booklet you can download, are on there site here: Possessed.

Especially relevant were: M. Mahdi Hamad Hassanzada from Afghanistan's pictures of Divs, supernatural hermaphroditic creatures from Persian mythology; Pierre Molinier, a surrealist French artist (died 1976) who explored drag and fetish culture in his photography; Antonio Obà from Brazil who explores Afro-Brazilian animist religions, especially the Pomba-gira deity who represents beauty and desire and is seen as protective of the LGBT community; and Apolinia Sokol's fabulous transgender upgrade of Botticelli's Primavera that is the second image in the rolling photos on MO.CO.'s exhibition page (link above).

Incidentally, Montpellier is a pleasant and interesting historic city, worth visiting anyway. I was there a year ago: French holiday

 

Wishing you a good transition to February, with its lengthening days, Valentine's Day, Carnival and leap day.

Sue x