Forthcoming days out

Last year I went on holiday to Germany but, in deference to my hosts’ various concerns, allegedly for my safety, I didn’t venture out en femme. I think their worries were unfounded but, anyway, this year in June I plan to be seen as Sue in Berlin, which is a very cosmopolitan and trans-friendly city.

I have also booked a hotel for Sparkle in July. As a lot of my friends won’t be there this year I am in two minds about it as it is a very expensive weekend (hotels and trains accounting most of the cost). But I do want to be there as it’s a fabulous way to meet so many other trans people.

I’ve been so tied up with domestic matters these last few months that my outings have been low-key local walks. It takes a lot of effort to organise those big girly lunches I used to do before my illness, but I shall be trying to do something in that line again soon. I have missed seeing my girlfriends.

Sue x

Thank you, Meghan, for boosting diversity

It's proving to be a beautiful spring here in England. Let's hope it continues.

Yesterday, then, in glorious weather, the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle was celebrated in Windsor.

To me this lays to rest a ghost in British history and helps usher in an era that I hope will be rather more positive than Her Majesty's current Government seems to want.

Unlike King Edward VIII, who abdicated in 1936 in order to marry an American divorcee (according to the official version), Prince Harry has now been able to marry... an American divorcee. OK, so the prince is not a reigning king with an empire like his forebear, but the fact that this has been accepted by the establishment and the church with relatively little fuss is a new attitude. It also suggests the old rivalry between the two powers is dying out.

Meghan, like President Obama, is mixed race and that to me is a sign of a more humane acceptance in high circles that you don't have to be white to be worthy, in the same way that you don't have to be male, or straight, or have some specific attribute over which you actually have no control at all. The poisonous racist filth that has been spewed online by English supremacists about having a mixed-race person even coming to the country, let alone marrying royalty, has been beyond vile. "Meghan Markle's Mum peels bananas with her feet" is their favourite horrible meme. These same white supremacists rail against the fact that the Mayor of London happens to be a Muslim (despite the much better job he's actually doing than the two narcissists who preceded him). The same goes for for the new Home Secretary (i.e. the person responsible for policing and immigration), not to mention his opposite number in the House of Commons, who is a black woman and is often judged on that.

There are two reasons why I mention racism. One is that the same people who are racists are almost always homophobic and transphobic, too, and frequently misogynistic, with all the unhappiness that that causes women like me. It's a pity that racist TGirls and their supposed allies whom I have come across can't see the connection between hatred for foreigners and the rise in attacks on gay and trans people, including themselves. There's a significant degree of stupidity here. The other reason is that it's now five years since I last spoke to my father whose race hate I can only describe as feral. Naturally, he also hates gay and trans people, like my "Lugbutt"-hating sister, his daughter, whom I wrote about last autumn. The pig-headed insistence on not wanting or feeling the need to understand the perspective of people who are different from them, or even that another perspective exists, shows an absence of human empathy. This hatred stems so often from jealousy and from a fear of losing a privileged position. The inferiority complex of racists and homophobes is pathetic.

So I hope that Meghan, who is a beautiful woman and could make a super and popular princess, will defy the haters and have a long and happy marriage and be much loved. Her presence will help all of us who, through no fault of ours, don't fit a narrow mould. Maybe it's wrong of me to appropriate her in this way for the benefit of trans women, but her being embraced by the establishment sends a much-needed signal to the haters.

Sue x

Bugs of all kinds

It's been over a month since I last posted but that's partly due to a horrible bug I had that left me coughing uncontrollably and which has still not properly cleared up. In the end they sent me for an X-ray and various blood tests, which is pretty rare for me. I've not slept very well because of it, often waking and thrashing about trying to breathe.

The other major reason is that I have put my house on the market and that takes a lot of effort. Because I don't live full-time female and am not transitioning, my extensive wardrobe and any identifying items have been rendered neutral, i.e. there's some female involved in my life, but no-one would make the connection directly to my male side. I wish such precautions weren't necessary, but there you are.

So that explains the recent lack of activity here. It doesn't mean that I have no news.

As before, I have been getting out and about in my local area. I'm not quite in the mood for arranging one of those huge T-girl lunches that I used to do, but I dare say that will come at some point. I did, however, agree to meet a man who had been pestering me for some time, initially online. I normally don't bother with admirers or men who are interested in meeting trans women but this guy happened to mention a mutual acquaintance so he gained my curiosity. I met him in a local pub and far from being a pest or wanting sex as they often do he turned out to be a great trans ally and just has a curiosity about people who are a bit alternative. We got on very well indeed, chatting all afternoon. I felt contemporary and chic in leather leggings and a red top. So that was very positive.

I've been keeping an eye on the horrible anti-trans media abuse that's been going on this month, from the usual sneering contempt of the British tabloid press and the attacks by radical feminists and Donald Trump. I'm hoping that all this is in fact the last gasp of a dying breed of nasties, but there's no room for complacency. The Genderquake debate on Channel Four last week was, I am told (I didn't see it), what you would expect from the likes of media-supported bullies like Germaine Greer. Hate has become currency in the toxic, inhuman world of Trump and May.

I have also been keeping up with scientific literature on trans matters. I really would like to see better research into why a lot of people are trans. Instinctively I feel that it's a matter of biology, but there is only a little hard evidence of this as yet. Obviously, the subject is of insufficient interest for major funding, and so we remain in the dark. My research continues.

Now that the weather's better, I may remember to take a camera on my travels!

Sue x