It's twenty years since I had my first proper makeover and some quality photos done. It was the first time I'd ever worn a wig and had my makeup done professionally. It was a revelation and marked another milestone on my road to authentication. I wrote a description of my time at the Boudoir makeover service here. Instead of repeating those details here I'd like to share more of the photos now that I have got them all together in one place.
I've spent a lot of time downloading the hundreds of photos from my first three makeovers and selecting 37 of them to post here. I confess I got quite emotional in doing this: reminders of an amazing time in life, a lament for lost youth maybe, a feeling that I can be beautiful too ... and knowing that there is nothing more blissful than being your authentic self. No wonder I have a knowing smile.
The photos were taken by Jodie at the Boudoir, who's not a professional photographer and they haven't been doctored, apart from some cropping, because I don't know how! So they are 'as is'.
As much as possible I've tried to include one close-up, one seated and one standing pose from each look.
The point of going a dressing service was to get advice on doing makeup, seeing what hair would suit my face and what styles of clothing would look best. We homed in on a best look over three sessions, a dozen outfits and several hairstyles and here I explain our approach.
Losing weight between session 1 and sessions 2 and 3 helped a lot.
For my first session, Jodie dressed me in a black semi-sheer striped shirt with flower details picked out in silver, a berry-coloured knee-length skirt and silver jewellery. The patent stretch boots are my own as are the sheer black glossy tights. Underneath Jodie fitted me with a corset, which was a new experience for me - when you're overweight, as I was here, breathing and bending become challenging with that constriction.
You can see how nervous I was to start with ...
I did relax a bit as the session progressed, though.
Jodie explained that a wig can work more than one way. She put the hair up with pins.
I'm less convinced by this look, as it happens.
We took some photos standing up ...
... and sitting down in the famous arched window. How many TGirls have sat here? Only the internet knows!
John Lewis 15 denier run resistant sheer gloss tights win my top prize for best hosiery ever! Sadly, they're no longer made. We will be seeing more of these marvels a bit later. The boots were a very favourite pair but, with much heartache, I had to throw them away earlier this year after a good 25 years service due to faux leather fatigue, a subject I intend to talk (complain) about in another post.
Anyway, armed with my photos and new-found wonder at my transformation, I vowed to return and learn more about makeup, hair, styling and so on. Just after this session in mid-November 2004 I started a relationship with someone who wasn't so keen on the whole trans thing and so my return wasn't until April 2008 after I had broken up with her. But I was a lot slimmer and that opened up greater possibilities, as did longer sessions.
I tried four looks in my second session. The first was a cute pink top and a long black skirt with a very high slit. I wore my own 20-denier black hold-up stockings (M&S) and black court shoes (which might well be the same ones I wore as a silver witch the other week). The corset felt a lot more comfortable this time. The wig was quite a big one, the jewellery a bit more noticeable, and this time I had the time to have my nails done. I loved the colour!
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A bit daring, that leg. A bit Sixties bouffant, that wig. Brigitte Bardot, maybe? Well, you can pretend, eh?
The one thing I'm cross about is that instead of waxing down my brows like last time, we tried to grey them out, without success. Well, it's part of the learning process.
Sadly, we took no photos of me standing up in this outfit.
Jodie pointed out that with my petite stature (I'm 5'4" or 163 cm), I'd do well in short skirts because showing off my legs would make me look taller. Does a TGirl need encouragement to wear short skirts? I don't think so! And she was right. And, if I say so myself, I think I have quite nice legs.
Close-up:
And sitting:
I was getting relaxed and confident by now. And we tried a complete change of look with hair that was more shoulder-length, a bright floral top and denim miniskirt. Again, the opaque black tights and the knee-length leather boots are my own. (The tights are the second best in the universe: Falke Seidenglatt 70 denier. I still have them after 25+ years - they are immortal! I also still have the boots - they are ideal for when I'm fatter as they have a cutaway at the calf with chain detail.)
Well, it's OK as a look. What do you think?
I hadn't perfected smiling so I look a bit severe, I think.
I've always loved bob hairstyles so we thought we'd try one.
Quite cute. But bobs are always cute.
And we tried a new outfit of sleeveless sequinned black top, chunky belt and shiny red three-quarter length skirt. The boots haven't changed - knee-high boots are recommended with this skirt length.
Actually, the outfit is a bit weird. That skirt certainly doesn't work with the corsetry poking up under it. And I'm not sure a short bob is right as I have quite a thick neck. Longer hair seems better. My shoulders are not large so the top is not too bad. How about sitting down?
I left enthused but with a lot to consider. I think the second outfit worked best and the advice on shorter skirts was now firmly in my head. Shoulder-length hair is good, too. But those brows need dealing with and maybe the makeup may be a bit too thick.
In some ways I got another dressing session just after this by volunteering to be a model for an artist and she dressed me in her clothes with dramatic makeup. I really enjoyed the modelling sessions but it's just as well the films she took of me never made it to any exhibition as she turned out to be a crook! So that doesn't really count as a makeover and photoshoot since there's no evidence!
Six months later, again in mid-November, I was back for my third and final session with Jodie, this time with fewer nerves and a determination to find the best look for me. There are seven looks, all bolder than before. Well, five looks with one of them simply involving a change of skirt and another a change of footwear, but these changes made a huge difference. And this is the point: it's often just the little adjustments that lead to homing in on what really works.
The short bob in the previous session was cute but not right for me. So we tried a longer one, and lighter too. This was much more of a statement hairpiece.
I find the outfit weird, though - a seethrough pink batwing top that shows my practical and not sexy longline bra, a vast patent leather bow belt, and a denim miniskirt.
Here again are those very perfect John Lewis glossy black tights, and my own gold and black shoes. I brought my own shoes to the sessions as I have very small feet (5½ UK size, 38 European, 7½ US) and most trans dressing service shoes are larger. You can't get 5½ in men's sizes; even a 6 is hard to find so I have actually worn women's shoes most of my adult life even when I have presented as male!
I suggested changing the skirt to a black one, which I am pretty sure is one of mine which I still have. I think this worked better.
You've seen this photo before. It's by far my most popular one, to judge by stats on Flickr and here. I am honestly not sure why.
Seated in the famous window ...
... and close-up again. I liked the hair a lot but it does make my face look more angular.
OK, time for a change. The skirt and tights stay but the top is now a leopard print, the belt is chunky and the knee-high boots have a block heel. And the hair as now shoulder-length, wavy with highlights.
Hmm, this is working better than that previous outfit. I liked the previous hair but this is better for my shape of face. And I'm working on my smile. That glossy lipstick helps set it off, too. I like the nail colour Jodie picked for me. And that bust ... that's really working for me, even though it's artificial. The legs are my own, mind.
How about close up?
I used this as my profile picture on various sites for years. I really think things are coming together now.
This was only the second look, though, and there was plenty of time for three others. So we went for something brash and bold, a biker chick look. But the hair felt so right I insisted on keeping it.
The soft patent knee-high boots of my first session are back and I've layered Jonathan Aston sweet roses patterned tights over my sheer tights. This is not exactly my normal presentation but the fun of a makeover like this is that you can experiment.
I'm really enjoying myself by this stage. That wig really suits. Better than the dead cat I could otherwise have had! (Not really! That's Spike, Jodie's cat, asleep on the left - more on him another day.)
I know I can't go blonde because my darker brows would give the game away but I asked how light my hair could go. This is the suggestion.
A bit too full, I think. We've changed outfit to a black dance skirt with lots and lots of frills and froth, a gold sleeveless top that leaves my shoulders bare and a black cincher belt that really pushes up my boobs.
Cute but over the top. Well, why not?
Those boots are fabulous and work with the biker chick but not with this outfit so I put on the black and gold shoes I had at the start of the session and these match the rest of the outfit You could actually go to a 1980s retro prom in this now!
Looking quite cutesy in this pose.
I was having such fun by this point. I'd booked five hours at the dressing service and there was time for one more look. Totally different and just for fun to see if it's possible to transform a middle-aged trans woman into a teenager by the power of makeup and clothes alone. This is what teenage girls in 2008 were into: long hair, hair bands, coloured tops, microskirts, footless leggings and ballet flats.
I think we pulled it off.
Happy youngster!
Jodie let me try on her own black Ugg boots as we have similar shoe sizes. They were certainly comfortable and warm and very trendy then. But I felt the flats were more the look I wanted as they show that the tights are footless. A number of the items worn here were Jodie's personal items rather than from the general racks so, between the two if us, we mixed and matched to create these looks.
What a blast! In three sessions, I learnt the rudiments of trans makeup, I learned that short skirts work well on me, and that shoes work better than boots, I found a really good hairstyle (I came back a few days later and bought the leopard girl/biker chick wig). Just what I wanted, and the gain in confidence was amazing. Shortly after, I joined the UK Angels forum at Jodie's suggestion and, after ensuring my makeup bag and skills were up to the job, and with the encouragement and example of other girls, I started going out. A recommended experience for those who need help to get going.
I have had various other makeovers and photoshoots over the years and many sessions with wig stylists. More on those another time. This post is just about how I found my way.
Tomorrow is my official trans birthday. A lot of trans people choose a birthday connected with a major event, such as their GRS. The timing of these sessions at the Boudoir is one reason for mine.
Thanks for reading. I hope this post was fun or inspiring.
Sue x
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