It's snow joke

"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I feel something terrible has happened."

Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars

I aim to present trans life in a positive way, as I've said many times. Occasionally, something bad happens and I can't ignore it. So today I'd better acknowledge the bad stuff first and go on to the better stuff.

I usually sleep OK; not brilliantly, but OK. In my dreams I am almost always a trans woman who is accepted as such. That's been the standard dream premise for me since I was 5. 

Last night, though, I had a very bad night, troubled by horrible visions: first, a skeletal goat in a cowl standing by my bed; then a serpent convulsing in its death throes, biting itself but also lashing out at bystanders. 

To cap it all, a mosquito bit me. A real one, not a dream one. Mosquitoes in the depths of winter are unheard of! 

If these were ancient times I would take these as visions and signs from the gods, and consult an oracle or sybil about them. But in these less superstitious times I conclude that the traumatising news over the last two weeks has gotten to me. And that climate change is alarmingly real now if there are mosquitoes in January.

I've said here before that the purpose of government is to brutalise, and we see this regularly, such as when you're don't pay your taxes even with a good excuse, when you get burgled but the police don't take any interest, when your social security office is understaffed and you can't get that payment you are entitled to, or when you try to register a change to the gender marking on your birth certificate but you have to go through years of bureaucracy and scrutiny. The list is endless. Or you might want to complain about excessive policing or government economic policy. Then you get shot. Of course, if you kill someone, even inadvertently, your government may put millions into finding you and jailing you. But when a government has enemies, it can freely order the killing of as many as it likes with impunity. 

The story I posted last week about my screaming insane boss shows how hierarchies are often structured to cover up the behaviours and inadequacies of its members, and how bad promotions and choices of leadership can cause so much damage. That bad experience and even worse ones at work, the evil school I went to, the sick religion that was foisted on me as a child, make me chronically concerned about all the harm that is done in the world by a handful of deeply deranged individuals. 

I now live my trans life without reference to the authorities, to doctors, to activists or other people who allegedly act for the public good, our best interests, etc. I don't trust them at all. And when I see ayatollahs killing tens of thousands and presidents threatening, bullying and abusing millions, or dictators invading other countries, and hear their supporters rejoicing at the extermination, then I think I'm right to shun their evil and avoid those in their pay because if I want sanity, security and peace, I'd better look after those benefits myself. 

That said, we have no honest choice but to push back on these evil forces, support those suffering and try to engage the checks on power that are being usurped. Ostracise people you know who support murdering regimes: don't help them, don't buy from them, don't socialise with them, don't co-operate with them, just isolate them. Their outlook and behaviour are vile and that needs to be made clear to them in ways that cause them loss. In so doing, you are not so much losing a friend, relative, supplier, colleague, entertainer or other contact as reducing evil and chaos in your life and community.

My love to my trans sisters who are in the front line of so much hatred right now. Love especially to Hannah McKnight in Minneapolis whose humane and inspiring blogs I have followed for years. Stay strong but safe and know the world supports you.

 

Climate 

 

The view from home on Saturday: sailing under moody skies and choppy seas.

Despite my globally-warmed mosquito, it actually snowed on the high ground yesterday. There was a dusting of white on the mountaintop above home, but it was gone today. Heavy precipitation is expected tomorrow so it may become white again.

Mount Bignone, or Bignose as I call it. 1300 metres high (4265 feet)

This is news because, in the last 40 years, the Alps have rarely had the snow cover they used to. My train journeys this week will pass through the Alps and the Appennines and the dramatic rise from palm-fringed beaches on one side of the train to snow-capped peaks on the other makes this a very panoramic line. 

 

Packing and planning

I'm now packing to go on a city break to Genoa for a few days where the weather looks cool at best, so I'm looking at layers. I have packed some nice thermal vest tops, thermal tights and thick leggings. I also found a bodysuit that I'd forgotten I had. This is the trouble with a female wardrobe - the variety is so great you forget what you've got!

The shopping is way better in Genoa than here so I'll see if anything nice catches my eye.

I'll need to watch my eating when away, though. Since New Year I've lost a very impressive five kilos, or 12 pounds. Maybe by the end of the month it'll be six kilos off in all; that's one stone. But sightseeing is energy intensive so any excess food intake could get burnt off. 

 

Valentino

RIP fashion designer, Valentino Garavani, known simply as Valentino. 

I know I've often poked fun at some of his creations on my blog, especially when looking at his store in Milan's fashion district, but I have to acknowledge he was one of the greats. In some respects, it was his efforts in the '50s and '60s that got Italian high fashion associated with quality.

 

Offline

I'm not taking my laptop away this time so I'll be offline from Wednesday to Friday of this week. 

Stay pretty, stay safe, stay loved. Maybe that's my trans slogan for 2026.

Sue x