I don’t usually comment on trans-related news articles.
Normally they’re either not newsworthy, or the news is designed to attack,
provoke or uncover, or it’s simply misrepresented. And they usually lead to nasty
arguments in the online comments pages. If you’d like to follow trans (or, more
properly, LGBT) news items, Emily was in touch last week and you can link to a
large number of them via her blog: http://emilysvirtualrocket.blogspot.co.uk/
However, on this occasion I will make an exception because
the matter is much closer to home, and also concerns a public figure, Kellie
Maloney, formerly Frank, a boxing promoter who has started speaking to the
press about her transition. Good luck to Kellie, whom I admire for being frank
(rather than Frank) about what it is like to be trans in a macho world like
boxing and having to suppress your real self to feel successful in such
contexts. But my friend Simone (we generally know her here by her other name of
Holly, she of the TGirl bar in 2011 and 2013) has, in the light of Kellie’s
comments, spoken to the Daily Telegraph
about life when transitioning.
It’s a decent enough article as these things go. Simone’s thoughts really
caught my attention not just because she’s a friend of mine because they tie in
closely what I have blogged about, both in the past and just recently. Most
immediately and obviously, for me at least, is that fact that, whilst staying with me over the
weekend of the 2011 TGirl bar she then went to work on the Monday sporting the
beautiful baked-on nails that she’d had done for the event and didn’t want to
remove since the Enigma Ball was happening the next weekend and she would have
had to have had them done all over again. This was a dilemma because,
obviously, spending the intervening week at work with them on would definitely
‘out’ her in the male-dominated world of plumbing. We discussed this at some
length and I suggested that, annoying as it was, she should remove them: she’s
the boss so it would be a risk to business, etc. But she decided to keep them
on… and the rest is history! I touched on this event in the last paragraph of
my report on the TGirl Bar of 2011:
Simone says in her interview that transitioning has not, in
fact, damaged her business and her staff have been supportive, so I’m happy she
proved me wrong. That said, I am always ready to point out that the joy that
often accompanies transition can gloss over practical points. On a more cynical
level one could point out here that there is a recession on and so staff may prefer to keep their jobs
rather than fuss about the boss being unusual. And holding a royal warrant may
also be a boost to business, too. Not to mention the long establishment of the
firm. Transitioning at work is a serious and difficult issue for some, but
others get lucky. To those who feel full transition is the way forward, I’d
advise not to underestimate the difficulties or gloss over that people may
express prejudice in many ways, often very subtle ones. Neither should you let
your excitement for your transition distract you from the day-to-day issues we
all face when trying to progress any career.
It’s not really so unusual these days for someone to let
others know that they are trans, which is why it bugs me that the media still
harp on about transition and trans life, cross dressing and related subjects so
much. OK, the number of trans people in the public eye is small, but it’s
hardly news any more. Well, I would have said not, but obviously newspaper
editors disagree. Simone’s interview is a decent summary. Just one thing,
though:
“It’s a single operation, and two and a half hours later
it’s over, the job’s done.”
I must disagree. Please read my previous post here. If you
have surgery and take hormones you will
spend many difficult months recovering from your operation and have a lifetime
of maintenance work to do. This is not like having a filling at the dentists.
I’ll finish by quoting Simone's wise words here:
“You live your life but once: would you live your life
unhappily for the benefit of others, or would it be better to live as happy a
life as you can for yourself? Because if you’re happy then everyone else around
you is too, usually.”
Sue x
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