It was national ‘coming out day’ last week, and people were telling their stories. Some chose to come out about being gay or trans, too, including, it seems, my friend Roz. Wishing her every good outcome.
In brief, my 'coming out' story:
I tried coming out to my mother about wanting to be treated as a girl
when I was 6. She hadn’t a clue what I was on about. 6-year olds are not eloquent, and they get put off by negative reactions. When my parents
realised I was crossdressing in my teens, their sinister mutterings
prevented my letting on again to anyone until my 40s.
And when I did come out over the last few years, most of my friends were understanding – and even enthusiastic – when I let them know I was trans. All apart from one group of close friends who pretended to be supportive
and then proceeded to out me to others and tore into me when they let me
holiday with them as Sue. What pigs! – some friendship appears deep but
is really just superficial. The betrayal was so shocking that I will
only now come out when essential. I haven't posted about this episode yet but maybe the lesson will be a useful one for others. I truly value those friends who have
learned that I am trans and just accept that. They're the majority and it's great that society seems to be progressing favourably.
So… coming out. A mixed blessing, I’d say.
Why do gay and
trans people have to run this gauntlet anyway? Hoping for a day when
no-one even needs to be formally informed in this way.