The illness that disfigured my face for over three years has
subsided and, with a new, cautious makeup regime, I can be seen in public
identifying as female again. But it has left me very distressed because just a
few years back I was aiming at living nearly full-time female. That can’t now
happen because when the problem arises again (as it does periodically) then I
will be back to presenting as male only. It’s taking me a while to come to
terms with this.
As I mentioned in the first post of this year http://suerichmond.blogspot.co.uk/2017/01/those-biggest-resolutions.html it was in 1997 that I resolved finally to accept that I was
transgender. I have dressed as a woman every day since, though that’s not the
same as presenting as female all the time.
Most of my clothes now are women’s items, so even though I
have had to revert to presenting as male for much of the last four years, I
still feel connected to my trans side through what I wear and through
manicuring and varnishing my nails, eliminating male type hair and so forth.
I therefore check out the latest clothing styles to see what
may pass as male attire even though it’s female. Fashions these days are
actually quite samey across the genders, as it happens. I have been blessed by
being petite and having small feet (UK 5½ or European 38/9, US 7½) so women’s shoes,
socks, T-shirts, jeans, etc. are easy to find. Having small feet has always
been a problem, though, when wanting men’s shoes as the ranges usually start
with a 6 or even a 7 and even before finally accepting my trans side I would
sometimes have to opt for women’s styles in shoes (the shop assistants being
apologetic whilst I was secretly pleased!)
So on my recent trips to Wiltshire, Bath and Prague I have
been presenting as male, but with perfect nails, women’s shoes, underwear,
shirts and shoulder bag. I feel connected to my trans side but nobody
especially spots the understated femininity in my walking boots or socks or top
or bag. Perhaps this is one aspect of my future as a trans person. Not a future
I envisaged or wanted, but one that may have been forced on me by necessity.
Anyway, I’ll tell all about my adventures and provide some
more pretty pictures in my next post.
 |
| Prague in autumn |
Sue x
Hi Sue,
ReplyDeleteWe manage about the same way...dressing in female clothes, with female cues like nails and hair, while trying to present as male. In my case, it isn't always successful...my wife seems to be tolerating my sometimes being seen as a woman. And that's a good thing.
We do what we have to do, to keep going. Glad to see that you're getting out and about, regardless of your "presentation." It's more fun than sitting home, isn't it?
Looking forward to future travelogues!
Hugs,
Mandy
Thanks, Mandy. Without my wig and makeup, I'd never be taken for a woman, sadly. This is my problem. Sue x
DeleteWhen we were at a family wedding out of town, I was wearing the sport coat I wore to work when I retired (a bit snug, but basically still fit), women's shirt and men's tie, with no makeup. My wife insisted I put my hair in a pony tail. Everyone there knew that I was a guy. But the servers addressed me as female.
DeletePerhaps there's less tolerance of androgyny in the UK? And less employee tolerance training? (Of course, what we have had here in the US now seems to be going a little farther into the toilet bowl every day.)
Hugs,
Mandy
PS: Yes, I do hear that dreaded "S" word occasionally. It happens. I basically consider the source, then move on.
Some years ago when I decided that I would not jeopardise stuff which I care about by 'not caring' what the neighbours say, it struck me that while others may observe me as TG only when dressed in something unusual for a man, I am TG every minute I live. I don't even have to be around and in time my executors will, apart from my walking clothes, find little that reflects my natal sex. Of course, it's not what I would wish, but it's a pragmatic approach and it can be quite amusing, as well, if out with like-minded friends, playing at being men!
ReplyDeleteI, too, look forward to more travelogues!
We're certainly TG all the time. All I've ever wanted is to be treated as a woman, and that doesn't happen without heavy visual cues. Otherwise people just treat you as a weird guy in women's clothes, and that's the worst thing. Sue x
Delete