Emerging from hibernation

 Another plan from the bad ideas club... I keep reading in the science press about projects that are looking at the possibility of humans tapping into their dormant genes that would enable them to hibernate like bears and that this might be a great option for long-distance space travel. (Ah yes, long-distance space travel, that elusive dream that's been alive all my long life! Like maglev trains! And personal helicopters!) Look, guys, half a glance at most of the sci-fi films of the last sixty years would make you realise that every space ship crew that's ever been in suspended animation or hibernation has had a bad time!

I mention this because this winter has been lousy and I have done very little except try to keep warm indoors. My gas bill was emailed to me yesterday but I daren't open it and will wait for the paper copy to come by the slow postal system before I look at it. The whole point of moving to the Italian riviera was to enjoy subtropical coastline that didn't need lots of central heating, woolly clothes and Ready Brek in the winter months! But it's been consistently around 3°C below the seasonal average, which is a lot, and wet and windy too for much of the time. In the past there were always some days in January or February where it was sunny enough to eat lunch outdoors, but not in 2025. I feel robbed.

Thankfully, the TGirl wardrobe comes into its own as it's so much easier to layer women's clothes. I'd especially like to endorse Marks & Spencer 40 denier Body Sensor™ thermal regulator tights that really do serve both on cold as well as milder days and, being black opaques, seem to go with everything, have an even tone with a slight sheen and don't slip down. I've worn them practically every day. Well done, M&S. A real winner.

Keeping warm with hot tea, sweater, wool skirt and M&S body sensor tights

So life has been mainly indoors these last three months. But I've taken the opportunity to test new nail polishes and try out new perfumes. 

I keep getting free samples of perfume and I'm always looking for my new favourite. Test results in due course.

I'd also like to find some new jewellery as my current collection is a bit tatty. I do have a couple of expensive items but most of my stuff is costume jewellery just for fun so it doesn't matter if it gets lost or broken.

Still, there are various local craft and antiques markets over the next two weekends and jewellery tends to feature big on the stalls there there so let's see if I find anything pretty.

According to the long-term weather forecast, next week looks much better, much more spring-like. So I have bought various packets of seeds in anticipation - both flowers and herbs - and a new tub for Arnold the Olive who is growing into a big healthy boy now. The tub's twice the volume of the old one. I'm proud of him as he gave me my first crop of olives last autumn at just three years old. When I got him as a cutting he was little bigger than a manicured finger here. So this morning I transplanted Arnold to his new roomy home and I hope he will thrive. He looks healthy, if a little scruffy. 

Arnold before transplant

Food and slimming

My slimming drive has stalled, though, with no weight loss in February. I'm afraid that colder weather means stodgier food and a preference for red wine that is always fattening! I'll be glad when salads become attractive again! That said, I've been enjoying new recipes and have found a good food delivery company that brings me some excellent stuff either for the freezer or fresh. 

My weird green pepper within a red pepper. Very Addams Family, but it still got eaten!

I used to be in a rush for breakfast when going out to work so would opt for easily spreadable olive or sunflower oil spreads but I have now reverted to butter as you actually use much less of a real wholemilk butter as it's so tasty. My latest brand is from the Valtellina in the Alps where the cows eat proper mountain grass. Coupled with sweet orange marmalade that is harvested from lands sequestered from the mafia in Sicily at the opposite end of the country, it makes a heavenly breakfast, and the social benefits are there too!

Here oranges and lemons are being harvested now and I'm hoping to find ravioli flavoured with citrus again this year. These are only found in this area and only at this time of year. They are amazing, though.

 

Ongoing comment fault 

I've set aside this weekend to try to resolve the fault with Blogger and comment replies. Sorry it's taking me time but you need a degree in computing to do anything these days!

 

White rabbits

Thanks for reading. Let's hope the spring comes properly soon. Much as I love winter boots and cute sweaters, I'll be glad to wear something lighter, floatier and more floral. 

I was always told to exclaim "white rabbits!" before saying anything else on March 1st, which is tomorrow. This is supposed to bring you luck and a happy spring. Which is what I wish you. 

I dare say there are other seasonal traditions elsewhere and I'd be interested to know them.

Sue x

Trans creativity: festivals and carnivals

 You can't put the LGBT community down - we've always been a public presence. This month, my look at queer creativity can't ignore carnival season and the music festival that's just been and gone. It looks like the winner of the newly created Sanremo Festival Queer Prize will be performing at the Eurovision Song Contest.

As I've said here several times before, the Sanremo Music festival dominates the western riviera and the Italian airwaves at this time of year, officially for a week but actually for considerably longer as there's a long preparation period before and a debriefing period after. Life is starting to get back to normal after the 75th edition of this annual media extravaganza! 

This year's winner, who is first call for representing Italy at the 2025 Eurovision song contest in Basel, Switzerland, was Olly but he says he's likely to be too busy giving concerts to participate so the next choice goes to the very close second, Lucio Corsi, who, as I said, won the very first Sanremo Queer Prize. Described as something of a revival of glam rock (and I have a history with that!), his song was Volevo essere un duro ("I wanted to be a tough guy"). The prize is for the artist who has most engaged with the LGBT+ community.

There are several other honourable mentions for the prize, including special guest Simon Le Bon of Duran Duran (remember them?) who spoke in support of LGBT+ persons, or Elodie's music video featuring drag queen Sypario (who actually seems to come off second best here! - judge for yourselves):

 

Call me shallow, but Elodie's dress and nails and hair captured my attention! So despite always having been a carnival of camp as I said last year, this new prize makes it official! 

An interesting development is that the openly phobic bishop who has often attacked the festival itself, let alone the queer community, let one artist use the cathedral as an alternative venue, a concert that was apparently much appreciated. The concurrent Festival of Christian Music the bishop instituted as a direct alternative to the Song Festival was poorly attended and, although officially dedicated to Pope Francis and the Catholic Jubilee Year, there were those who wanted to dedicate it to Donald Trump. For as long as Christians continue to associate themselves with that mendacious narcissistic fraudster they will be tainted by him. 

Sanremo Pride is on April 5th.

Carnival

I wrote about carnival season last year. It's a pity that what used once to be local events to welcome the spring or the first fruits have been so commercialised that if you want to see the main parade you have to pay quite a lot for a ticket and sit in a seat. There are the performers and the audience, a novel segregation that never existed when these events first developed centuries or millennia ago. The connection with the land, the seasons and the local people is largely lost. But I mention carnivals as they have always been a godsend for trans people who want to be themselves under the license of accepted public celebrations. You could be anyone under a mask or disguise and that tradition at least continues, mainly in countries of Latin tradition, at this time of year. Our biggest local event is Nice Carnival.

Other local crossdressed events

Spotted just reading the press in my area this month ...

(1) There's a production of Anton Chekhov's masterpiece The Cherry Orchard ... performed in Savona by Nina's Drag Queens, a troupe from Milan. Chekhov (1860-1904) is an exceptional playwright in my view (not to be confused with Chekov of the USS Enterprise). An interesting take on a play with significant female characters.

(2) The Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo ("The Trocks"), that well-known spoof drag ballet company, will also be performing in Italy and France in March. They're not actually from Monte Carlo but New York so I'm guessing the name is part of the spoof. I've never seen them but then I'm not much into classical ballet to appreciate the full comedy, despite always having been fascinated by ballet costumes. Anyway, they always get rave reviews ... and who doesn't envy their floaty feminine workwear?

(3) French DJ, LGBT+ advocate and Drag Race France panellist, Kiddy Smile, will be performing in Toulouse, France in May-June, bringing a bit of glam to the streets there.

 

Visual arts

In Britain, Tate St Ives in Cornwall has an exhibition (to May 5th) of surrealist artist Ithell Colquhoun (1906-1988) who became fascinated by androgyny and whose oneiric landscapes are full of - how shall I put it? - suggestions of male or female objects, freestanding or in fusion or approaching it. Maybe Freudian but certainly fascinating, dreamlike and spiritual. 

The website here: Between Worlds which also has a discussion of other artists: Queer Cornwall

Keep being fabulous.

Sue x

Monte Carlo, without breaking the bank

 So last week I went away for a few days. Not very far, just further along the Azure Coast, to Menton and Monte Carlo. And had a really nice time.

I went largely to get away from the chaos of the Sanremo music festival, partly to visit a microstate, partly to try the local food, and also because I have been keen to do the tour of Monte Carlo casino since I translated their audioguide into English and wanted to see what it sounded like. 

 

Monte Carlo casino

I went by bus first, along the breathtakingly beautiful, winding coast road with its palms and views over rocky coves, and then by train through the tumbledown landscape of the frontier. I stopped for a few hours at Menton to have lunch and see the preparations for the annual Lemon Festival. 

Lunch was at a Breton pancake restaurant, Fleur de Sel, which is excellent value for money, although I will admit that Brittany is about as far from here as you can get and still be in France! (For a British comparison, it's a bit like dining on Cornish pasties in the Shetland Islands!) A big buckwheat pancake with bacon, mushrooms, cheese, potato and chives with some frothy cider went down really well.

As for the annual lemon festival, there seems to be a space theme this year. 

(Again a comment for Brits: given that the last time I was in this area it was full of Aston Villa fans on their way to a match in Monaco, I couldn't help the old joke popping up in my head: 

I went to a fancy dress party in Birmingham and the theme was "spice".

I dressed as a chilli pepper, but everyone else came as an astronaut!)

Of course, we've been to Menton during the lemon festival before. They're still putting up the statues for this year's event. I think the aliens emerging from their flying saucer carrying giant lemons appealed most.

Or if more aggressive big-screen aliens are your thing, how about this:
 

The statues are made of coloured plastic balls but the patterns on the ground are made of real oranges and lemons. As is this barrel outside a shop:

 

Having sucked all I could out of the lemons on view, I took the train a few stops to Monaco. Although Monaco is the second smallest state in the world, the station, which is all underground, is immensely long. I suspect some of it is actually within France. The trains from Italy and Menton stop at one end of the platform and ideally I should have taken the exit at the other end. But I didn't know so I ended up taking the upper exit at the opposite end of town, high up the cliff with a yawning chasm below. 

 

I walked down and down and down to my hotel and I can tell you that my map of the town, although detailed, is almost useless. Maps are laid out horizontally but this city is vertical, so only a few features get shown. In fact, Monaco is like a Swiss cheese with tunnels both for traffic and sometimes pedestrians, who also have lifts, escalators, stairs, elevated walkways and underground travelators to get around. Having got to my hotel after about 15 minutes walking and many hundreds of feet drop in elevation, I found the back exit from the station was only a hundred yards from the hotel! D'oh! Let's just say, the journey back to the station when I left was a lot easier!

Monaco - vertically challenged

 

The Sea

I had thought of staying on one of the many boats for hire but reading the reviews I felt that in February, even on the relatively mild riviera, it would be fairly cold and clammy. In windier weather, even in the harbour, one reviewer described his stay as "challenging". I am a landlubber and decided on a proper hotel. The Hotel de France was basic but not stupidly overpriced like everywhere else here. 

 

Monaco's main harbour as evening draws in

I started my tour at the Digue, the world's largest floating dock, where the weather was wintry, relatively speaking - for it's never really winter here - but the clouds were low and the sea was not the classic turquoise or azure that gives the name to the whole coastline, Côte d'Azur, but a disturbed inky blue-black. The stump of a rainbow rose from the surface but failed to join the looming clouds, and the suck and splash of the surf on the cliffs contrasted with the booming of the surge within the dock, like the breath of a monster. It was eerie, almost expectant, as though some sea snake, kraken, or maybe Cthulhu himself was going to burst forth. Listen...

 

Monte Carlo casino

This was one of the main purposes of my trip. You can play roulette, black jack and other such games in the afternoons but the mornings are for visitors who just want to look around. Entry is €19 and you get an audio guide. 

Smart dress is expected especially in the salons privés and this is where I faced a dilemma because all my shoes are for women but the more unisex styles I have are too casual. So I had to dig out a very old pair of men's shoes and I wore a man's jacket, which I haven't done since I've no idea when, maybe since I left office work in 2008! It felt weird. But I refuse to wear men's trousers any more and a neat pair of ladies' cotton trousers with false fly and turn-ups was fine. I wasn't going to Monaco full femme for reasons of space, passports and poor LGBT protections there that I didn't want to test.

So the casino, then, is Monaco's official source of income. Citizens of the principality are forbidden to gamble there so it's foreigners who largely support the Monegasque economy. (They do have VAT and a few other small taxes). The casino is a fine example of late nineteenth-century belle-époque French style, yet the ten or so rooms are all laid out and decorated differently, which gives plenty of variety. Taking photos was not allowed but you can get an idea from the website: Monte Carlo casino

It's a pity that this expensive elegance is spoilt by modern slot machines with their garish lights and colours. The salons privés, though are for dining, and one for smoking - that would be the one with the ceiling painted with naked ladies on a cloud smoking cigars. I'm sure that gave Victorian gentlemen something to muse on as they puffed away. One room, though, was closed as they were training new croupiers in it.

Yes, the English audio text was the one I translated but it has problems in that I could only work from photos that don't always clarify the relationship of one thing to another so I'd have chosen different phrasing if I'd had the chance to be on site whilst doing it. And the voiceover artist had a problem pronouncing some English words let alone French ones! Oh well, you can only do so much with what you are given.

The casino is worth seeing. Much as I enjoy games, I'm not a gambling type at all so Monaco's economy was boosted merely by my audio tour fee on this occasion. I had a roulette wheel as a child that was made of beaten tin, and therefore not very even-surfaced. After a while I realised that betting constantly on the 18 would enable you to break the bank after a hard afternoon's play! I doubt that works in the real world!

The prince's palace

There is a cute little palace with soldiers on guard outside.

Visiting the state rooms is not possible in winter but I quite liked the palace square with its views over the two harbours on either side.

This is Francesco Grimaldi, "the Cunning", who first captured the fortress in 1297 by disguising himself as monk causing the defenders to let down their guard. His descendants have been rulers here ever since. That's the sort of stunt you could pull in the Middle Ages and get away with!

 

The trouble with investing in munitions is that they get out of date. then all you can do is use them as decorations or legs for benches!

 

Princess Grace

The little cathedral houses the tomb of the best known member of the ruling family, Princess Grace, actress Grace Kelly as was. It's quite a place of pilgrimage, though it's a very simple tomb.

 

The inscription reads Grace Patricia, wife of Prince Rainier III, passed away in the year of Our Lord 1982, and the crown with her monogram.

There's a big rose garden dedicated to her in one of the parks. Sadly, it wasn't quite the right time of year to see it at its best.

 

There are other things dedicated to her, such as this strange fountain right at the other end of the principality.

 

Institute of Oceanography

Although a forbidding-looking building, this is a must-see. 

 

The aquarium in the basement is good, with one huge tank with reef life and lots of smaller tanks holding critters of all kinds. I always find the jellyfish mesmerising.

 

Dean Martin must have come here for inspiration for his famous song

    When the moon hits your eye 

    like a big pizza pie, that's a moray...

Upstairs it's a more conventional museum with glass cases but the roof terrace has outstanding views over the city, the sea and the surrounding mountains. I looked back along the coast to Italy. The crack in the mountain in the middle of the picture is the frontier. The furthest headland is St Ampelio Point, which my Lonely Planet guide tells me is the southernmost point of Northern Italy. Astute readers might ask if it could also be the northernmost point of Southern Italy!

 

I was also thrilled to see the Trophée des Alpes on a mountaintop, which is the vast Roman monument to the conquest of the Alps, erected in 6 BC. It's the tower above the trees to the right of the photo. I must visit this at La Turbie in France, although I didn't realise it was so high up.

The roof also has a decent restaurant and a kids' playground with a climbing frame that looks like the skeleton of a whale!

 

Parks

My favourite thing, though, was the parks. The Japanese Garden charmed me most last time I was here when looking for a place to live. it's the largest Japanese Garden I know. Pity about the encroaching buildings on all sides.

The rose garden I mentioned was in the pleasant Fontvieille Park in the district of the same name that was wrested from the sea in the reign of Rainier III. I liked the tiny islands in the pond, one with fancy ducks on, one with turtles and one with a nude lady.

 

The best park, though, was the Jardins St Martin between the oceanography museum and the cathedral. Full of significant plants, statues, and fountains, and stunning views over the sea, it was quite special.

Hubert the Heron

 

Mind your head

 

The vary rare Nice snowdrop that grows only in this area

 And the carob tree that is the national symbol of Monaco. 

 

They make a carob liqueur here and the main carob tree is a short way from the tiny government buildings. 

Carob seeds were believed all to have the same weight and this seems to be the origin of the carat measure for precious metals and stones.

It's a pity that the Exotic Garden was closed for refurbishment. That's said to be Europe's largest cactus garden and has Europe's only cave system where the temperature rises the deeper you go. I shall visit when it reopens. 

There was just one down side. I got this terrible ear worm while visiting the gardens of Monaco, the apt song with the refrain Dans les jardins de Monaco that cropped up in some Eurovision song contest in the 1970s. Look, these days I can't remember what day of the week it is or who the prime minister is but trigger a song that I heard precisely once fifty years ago and my mind's away doing it's own thing! Do I need to hire a Private Brain Care Specialist? Or is this normal? Monaco ear worm, nul points!

 

Food and drink

This was another main reason for going. Although food on the riviera is a blend of Italian and French, each town has its particular dishes and Monaco is no different. At lunchtime at U' Cavagnetu and Aux Deux Moines I chose the Monaco selections with pissaladière (like pizza but with lots of onions), pichade (more like pizza with tomato), socca (chickpea pancake), barbajuans (baked ravioli), farcis (stuffed aubergines/eggplants and courgettes), tapenade (olive jam), and vegetables fried in batter. 

 

Pichade (top), barbajuans and salad (middle), and farcis (bottom) at Aux Deux Moines. Sorry, I ate one farci before remembering to take the photo!

I tried the Monaco octopus, too, which was rough chopped with tomato sauce (oddly, it came with rice, which is not a local crop; in Italy the chopped octopus is neater and comes with potato and green beans, which makes more sense). 

The Chocolaterie de Monaco was recommended. You can have tea or coffee, of course, but hot chocolate makes more sense. I chose the thick Italian-style one and a mini chocolate muffin with whipped cream.

 

The hot choc was delicious but not the best I've had, but the muffin was outstanding. I didn't discover the nougatine chocolate hiding behind the cup till after the photo was taken but it was so good that I had to buy some souvenir ones as I left.

 

In the evenings I ate at Italian restaurants. Thousands of Italians work along this coast, including 7,500 who commute daily from my province (Imperia), mainly in catering and dock work. So you're usually safe choosing Italian. Norma above the covered market, the Marché de la Condamine, does an excellent pasta with norma sauce, as you'd hope! Norma sauce has sheep ricotta cheese, fried aubergine, garlic and basil and comes from Sicily so, like the Breton pancakes in Nice, it's about as far as you can get from its origins here! Planet Pasta with its Italian-style neatly chopped octopus with beans and potatoes is more what I'm used to. 

Other unusual sights

You come across permanent Grand Prix markings at various points, such as at the Fairmont Hairpin. 

 

Don't try and stay in Monaco during the Grand Prix - prices are utterly crazy in hotels, and it costs thousands of euros a day if you want to moor a yacht!

By complete contrast, Monaco is the start of the 2500 km long Via Alpina walking paths through the alps that pass through eight countries before arriving at Trieste.

A tiny state needs a tiny council of state (left) and a tiny courthouse (right) near the tiny cathedral.

 

There isn't an airport but there is a heliport 

The fortress has a very secure public toilet ...

 

 ... and these odd slots in the rock walls that look like letter boxes for prisoners. I've no idea what they're for!

 

The local dialect in this area is as rough and rustic as any Latin dialect of the Alps. Church Street is Rue de l'église in modern French and would be Via della chiesa in Italian. Here it's Carrugiu d'a geija. To be fair, carrugio is the name for streets in Liguria, of which this was a part once. But those of us who learnt languages in higher education institutes where they teach you to "speak proper an' all" feel the difference!

 Larvotto, the only beach of any size in the principality.

 Teddies in the windows above a restaurant. No idea!

 

 

Jinkies, this statue sure is creepy!

 

This one, however, is TGirl aspirational!

I think that gives a good idea of the things I saw and did for 48 hours in a tiny country. I visited for a day in 2019 when looking for a place to live but the high-rise buildings that here really spoil the beauty of this coast, the infuriating road layout, the high prices, the poor LGBT+ rights, and some of the dubious residents* left me cold. But it was a lot nicer as a holiday venue with plenty to interest and amuse. Rather inspired by Gina's Interrail trip two years ago, I hope to visit more European microstates. They pack a lot into a small space.

* Writer W. Somerset Maugham famously described Monaco as "a sunny place for shady people." He had a point.

 

Next

Thanks for reading. I hope that was entertaining. Next week I'll be summarising the Sanremo Music Festival as I was previously incorrect in thinking there was less of interest to trans readers this year. In fact, this time they instituted a Queer Prize. And it's carnival season with all the crossdressing opportunities that that brings.

The comment reply problem persists. I can't reply to comments because of a security misinteraction between Blogger and my browser, which seems to be an extended problem. But I'm sure it'll get sorted. Thanks you for all your comments which are much appreciated.

Have a good weekend.

Sue x