Why do you want to be a woman?

 Questions, questions. 

I've often been asked "So why do you want to be a woman?"

It's the wrong question. I don't want to be a woman. Being trans is something that I am, that happened to me, that I have no say in, like my genes or skin colour. There's nothing I can do about it. I wish I wasn't trans but there we are. I do what I can with it in the circumstances I find myself in.

"Are you a woman?" 

I'd like to be treated as one.

"What, even though women have worse pay, suffer more violence and are usually second-class citizens?"

Even that. 

"But you have been a man."

We all play our roles in life. Your behaviour as a parent is not the same as your behavior at work or in the gym or whatever other roles you have. You act the part and stay safe.

"But why wear skirts? Most of us women wear trousers."

True, and so do I quite often, but a skirt gives me a more obvious feminine shape, it signals femininity more clearly and, since I've been forced to wear trousers for much of my life, I'd rather have something more obviously different. What we wear is not just for warmth and decency but is also a strong social signal. 

"But can't you wear a skirt for men, like a kilt?"

A kilt is a man's garment and that's not the deal here. 

And so on. I've been interrogated like this many times, usually by women, some out of curiosity, some more aggressively. It's sometimes hard to judge what is interest expressed poorly and what is rude intrusion.

"What's your real name?"

Sue.

"No, I mean your real name."

Still Sue. 

"So, like, have you had the operation?"

Have you always been rude? 

Is this how you normally approach strangers?  

It gets boring, sometimes weird, always uncomfortable, and sometimes nasty. As trans people, I think we've all been there. If you're not trans, please simply get to know your trans person in a normal way, and the answers to your questions will doubtless emerge in due time.

 

Blue nails, and other colours

So I've been experimenting with new nail varnishes and I tried the blue one, a colour I've never used before. But blue is for boys, right? (see conversations above.)

 

It needed two coats as it was very watery, which is one downside of getting a cheap one. The upside of getting a cheap one is that you don't lose much money if you don't like it, and so far I don't like it.

I want to try it with some sporty grey leggings and a matching blue top just to see if it works better in a casual context but the weather's been a bit too hot for that. It should cool a bit by the weekend and I'll try again.

Actually, the weather is reasonable for late May here, about 30C, and not as bad as some other places in Europe, but it hit very suddenly. Even I like a slow run-up to hot weather, or cold for that matter.

Anyway, the plants are loving it and there's a riot of colour in the hedgerows here and on plants clambering over the lampposts.   

 

I think my nails might look better with one of these shades!

The statue of Spring on the promenade:

 

Sue x