Things that work and things that don't

 A mixed bag today.

 

Slow updates

Blogger is being incredibly slow to update my blogroll and others. Increasingly, it has been taking hours, and now several days is normal. Even weeks in some cases. I can't explain why this is and have no idea what to do about it. I'm posting this on Tuesday so maybe people will become aware of it on Friday, which is always the Main Trans Blogging Day!

 

Pride Month

Pride month continues and here in Italy events in big cities like Genoa and Rome have been very well attended. Milan Pride has been going on all week and is expected to end in the biggest parade of all this Saturday. 

Rome's Pride was marred by an attack by fascist activists who squirted pepper spray on the rainbow families float in Rome. (Despite the disaster that fascism had brought to Italy by 1945, it still has its adherents. Hard to believe, but true.) Despite this violence, the rainbow families continued their parade. It's a reminder as to why we have Pride. 

Attacking families! Seriously! Maybe, if they are so opposed to Pride Parade we could propose an annual Shame Show for fascists and fundamentalists.

 

No AI

I've felt it advisable to put on my About page that this site does not use AI. One or two copyright-free images I've used are AI but none of the photos or text here are. 

Technology can be a useful tool, or a destructive one. Internet, broadband and small home computers revolutionised my industry making it faster, easier, more connected, more productive and so providing a better living. But at the same time, AI is taking some of our bread-and-butter work away. 

In terms of art, another line of work I used to do, AI is ruining human talent and creativity. There is nothing like being creative, working with your hands, making music... It's what humans have developed over thousands of years. That redundancy started with photography that took the livelihoods of jobbing artists who painted portraits, signs, interior decorations and so forth. Why pay a person to take time over an illustration when you can just snap the scene? Visual and creative AI and other technology may make life easier, quicker and cheaper (the great mantra of our age), but talent and creativity make that life worth living. What humans are best at is being made redundant.

I saw an interview with a girl in England where they plan to remove social media for the young. "You spent nine hours on social media this weekend. What will you do when you no longer have it?" asked the interviewer. "Stare at the wall," was her reply. How sad. She has no talents to hone and share? no curiosity? no desire to socialise for real? It does suggest she's hooked. And there is scope for better platforms.

Technology is a double-edged sword. Use it wisely.

 

Heatwave and slimming

Yes, it's hot. Even I who love the heat am having difficulty sleeping. 

The good thing is that heat makes you want to eat less and that's working wonders for my figure. I'm the lightest I've been for at least 15 years now and still going down. With luck, by the end of the summer I'll be where I want to be, but I'm not settting a target. Events have a habit of getting in the way. As will that big tub of ice cream I've ordered!

 

The revolving door

I see Britain has lost another Prime Minister. It's really very careless. A bit like constantly losing change down the back of the sofa.

The UK's main political problem is not The Economy, which is presented as the yardstick for judging how things are going, but the fact that its head of government has far more power than any other such position in a Western democracy but the postition is chiefly subject to party support, not to mention the whims of the PM's personality. This makes the UK more of an oligarchy than any other Western country. Resolve this one problem and government there should improve as power becomes more devolved as it used to be. It's as though Britain has forgotten the lessons it learnt very hard in the 17th century with its absolute monarchs and fundamentalist ideologies and the divisions they caused. Never concentrate power into the hands of one man or small group.

Ah, the 17th century! When Britain sent its political undesirables, its religious maniacs, its corrupt businessmen, its criminals and its pirates to America where they could never cause any more trouble again.

 

Sue x

Reflections on the revolution

 The other day, Wednesday June 17th, was the tenth anniversary of the Day the Balcony Collapsed and my life was never the same again. I took Wednesday easy as the anniversary brought up so much trauma. 

To recap very briefly, a balcony at the end of the street on a house identical to mine came crashing down. How exactly is a mystery. The agents who had let that property tried to make out that this was a sign that all the houses in the street were unsound and might be condemned. This was an attempt not only to cover up their own negligence but to try to persuade people to sell up cheap so they or other agents could cash in. The attempted fraud was large-scale and vile. 

One week after that the United Kingdom where I lived voted to leave the European Union. My business was intimately tied to Europe, like so many others after 40+ years membership of that body, and work dried up. These two incidents in the same week left me in a position where I faced the prospect of losing both my home and my livelihood.

Fortunately, a trans friend of mine who happens to be a surveyor told me her suspicions about the fallen balcony and suggested a course of action. My own balcony turned out to be sound, as were all the others. This is where having other trans friends can come into its own. My day-to-day contacts wouldn't bring me in touch with a surveyor who happens to have 40 years expertise in concrete structures. I happen to know her only because we are both trans. Similarly, having contacts, friends and relatives in Europe assisted me in moving to the Mediterranean.

The point is that you never know when your life may suddenly change because of accidents, political upheaval or unexpected health issues. To illustrate the last point, we all suffered from the recent pandemic, whether we got ill or not, yet none of us expected such a situation.

This is not the first time I've been in dramatic situations. When I was a newborn baby living in a foreign country, a war elsewhere in the region had a domino effect on the politics of surrounding states. What had been a sleepy, pro-Western nation suddenly turned pro-Soviet and anti-Western and threw foreigners out. I don't have a proper birth certificate because my father just had time to get the British embassy to issue a consular one for me just minutes before the building was burnt down by a rioting mob. It's been a bureaucratic issue for me ever since, as if a two-week-old baby somehow has responsibility for what the so-called grown-ups around it are doing.

So the point is, as countries succumb to malignant narcissists like Trump or psycopaths like Putin or the xenophobic incompetents like the procession of Prime Ministers the UK has had, that you have to have a Plan B for life. Just hoping that things will improve where you are is wasted effort. You have to make things work for you and, ideally, for everyone else around you. I'm doing quite well now in a totally different country and I don't actually miss the old life. I wish things hadn't worked out the way they did but as I see the ongoing economic, political and social damage caused by Brexit xenophobia in Britain, I can only congratulate myself on seeing a way out. After ten years of chaos and division without firm outcome, Britain is never now going to get out of the mess it's created for itself. Frankly, it's a country that's been increasingly poorly governed over the last 150 years or so but this is a real low. Historians of the future may well use it as an object lesson.

I'll add to this. I was raised in a cult. A cult where religion, nationalism, cultural supremacism and the narcissism of its leaders and subleaders were the chief components; fear, shame, violence and threats were its chief tools of enforcement. So much was condemned by them and being trans was definitely deemed bad. I've been deprogramming from this over the last thirty years. Now I'm not ashamed to be trans any more. I'm cautious and careful, but not ashamed. The cultism of the current crop of leaders is something I may talk about soon to advise on what theorists believe causes it and how one can override it. But at the end of the day, self-acceptance, mutual assistance, and resistance always beat domineering, bullying, threats, hatred and blind support, be it for political, religious or other notions. 

In this Pride month, I've been trying to focus on positive news, on how trans people and allies keep living and creating and being constructive citizens. I think I should also point out the survivability of the trans community after centuries of misunderstanding and persecution, at least in Western society. Other people's ideas of trans people and how to suppress them come and go, and yet nature keeps producing trans people. Maybe, just maybe, nature knows what it's doing and the jerks don't.

All praise and support, therefore, to my fellow bloggers in places that have become transphobic in recent years, like the USA and Great Britain. Well done Marian at Dotting I's and Crossing T's for working to get a second passport from another country; well done Stana at Femulate for not giving up when Trump won the election but for continuing to produce such varied, enjoyable and very popular content; well done Hannah for running her local trans group and being true to herself and her preferences despite online opposition and MAGA mania; well done Lynn at Yet Another Transgender Blog for continuing her group and dealing with her political representatives; well done Dee for being herself despite difficult personal circumstances; well done Lotte of Still in the Pink Fog for wearing her trans-indicative hair and nail varnish and tattoos in the way she wants them; and well done Carla of Pink Fog - Trans in Spain who, like me, has escaped abroad but continues to concern herself about trans rights in Britain; and on and on, I can think of so many of my friends who now live life on their terms and support others to live as they need to. You can't put us down. And, as I said, Nature keeps producing us, generation on generation, defying all the various theories and opposition to our existence. 

Happy Pride month.

 

Hot

Today the promised heat has come. I am wearing very short shorts and small tee top because any more would be too hot. I'm not ashamed to admit that I've ditched my bra. 

I've just been for a swim in the lovely outdoor pool, which this year has got some pretty statues round it, put there by an artist I know who works in bronze. I think they're really beautiful, especially in the setting. And I feel great affinity with their unashamed femininity; a shared pride, if you will. 

  

 

So, I may have abandoned my home and business in Britain, much to the delight of the ex-friends who thought it fun to see me damaged in their xenophobic rage; but now I enjoy 300 days of sunshine a year in a subtropical paradise, have new friends, new interests and am way healthier, more relaxed and better off with many more human rights, whilst their economy and lifestyle and country diminishes. I'd rather see people thrive than be crushed but since many don't see it that way I continue to press for trans rights and to resist the haters.

Sue x

Pride Month - the creative groove

 I used to post regularly about trans creativity in the world of arts, music and books but last year's difficulties didn't give me so much time. For this Pride Month, though, I'm back to pointing out just a few pro-LGBT items from the creative side of things I've read about this week to add to last week's post about positive news form the worlds of science and current affairs. 

 

Art

1) David Hockney, one of the foremost painters and stage designers of our era, died a few days ago, aged 88. He was bold in depicting queer themes when homosexuality was still illegal. Here's a BBC obituary showing his 1961 painting We 2 Boys Together Clinging and the naked Peter Getting Out of Nick's Pool from 1966. These works suggested same-sex relationships were peaceful and normal. As this obituary in The Guardian points out, rather than the direct activist approach, Hockney's art presented beauty, intimacy and desire in a way that anyone could identify with. Along with his old-fashioned notion that people like art that they can understand, this created a winning formula, to the benefit of the whole queer community. I have often felt that the oblique approach like this is often better than head-on clashes. Life for LGBT+ people is perfectly normal, except that we either prefer same-sex relationships or simply living as the gender we feel most akin to. I can say that it's the quiet banality of everyday living as a woman that gives me more joy than anything.

 

2) Pop art: Andy Warhol in Ferrara 

Fifty years ago, Andy Warhol presented an exhibition at Ferrara, Italy, entitled Ladies and Gentlemen, 105 works depicting Manhattan's drag queens. It was a departure from his previous work depicting Mao or Monroe in that none of the portraits were of famous people. That exhibition is currently being commemorated in the same place with more of his works. The gallery's introduction in English here: Ladies & Gentlemen

 

3) Photography: Robert Mapplethorpe in Milan

Iconic photographer of the '60s to '80s; the exhibition in Milan of his sculptural male nudes, drag queens and other queer people has, sadly, just ended but was well received and was put on largely to coincide with the winter olympics. Short English description here.

 

Musicals

"Freak! the Musical" is an Italian steampunk spectacle set in 1892 in the imaginary city of Janua. The Freaks, rejects from science experiments, live underground trying to find dignity in a world that would rather they did not exist. Their lives are transformed by visionary street artist Maxwell Butler and impoverished nobleman and inventor Lucius Doria Lagoscuro who turn the Freaks' diversity into art and present them as amazing artists rather than monsters. The question is raised as to how far a person is prepared to go to live authentically and be one's their real self. The writer and director is Teresa Vatavuk, it features singers from MayVoice and dancers from the Naima Academy, and has been playing in theatres across Italy, including locally this Pride month. There is a trans/CD aspect to it but any diverse person can relate to it.

I'll try to catch it one day. Although a lot of the musical numbers are sung in English and taken directly from the 2017 film The Greatest Showman, as a stage musical look it reminds me somewhat of Ben Elton's Queen musical We Will Rock You. 

Preview of the characters here Freak! and there's a trailer on another page.

 

Dance

I used to play the accordion but can't do so any more following a workplace injury but I've always quite liked tango music. 

I read that in the world of of tango, there is now a strong Queer Tango movement. The tango is a sensual and athletic dance with, traditionally, a strong, leading male role and a following female role, from the days of early 20th-century Argentina when there was a glut of immigrant menfolk in town and women were scarce. Therefore, only the strongest, most protective, most physically fit men would attract a female, and the dance reflects that. Argentina successfully exported this dance all over the world and now, in the 21st Century, with much greater equality between the sexes, both in numbers and even in social clout, and the increasing strength of the LGBT community, the distinctions between man and woman in the dance are being replaced by any person who wishes to be in either role. For some years now there has been a Tango entre mujeres (women's tango) group in Buenos Aires and many similar elsewhere in the world, with regular tango shows featuring just women, and any number of other combinations of dancers, with skirts for men in following roles if they wish and shoes to suit the participant not the role. You don't have to be queer to take part, just learn the leader's or follower's steps at your pleasure. But you can see the attraction for the trans/CD community. 

 

 

Film

The drag comedy Stop! That! Train! has arrived and I see no reason not to see it since it's got silly comedy and drag queens and sends up all those disaster movies my granny used to love and insisted I watch when I was little and which I'm still in therapy for. Reviews are generally favourable. One reviewer described it as having the tired format of a David Zucker movie (Airplane, Naked Gun) but as I'm quite a tired format myself this sounds like a plus! I'm sure it's not a coincidence that it's opened in Pride Month and the week Donald Trump tries to celebrate a birthday.

Trailer here:

 

Arts and Pride conclusion 

The world of the arts has always been openly alternative and I myself found myself accepted without question when I had an art studio in London. Queer creatives have always expressed themselves no matter the underlying political climate. I am sure that will continue.

 

Self-portrait (2012)

Happy Pride.

Sue x 

Swim season

 I've noticed how Friday seems to be Chief Posting Day on my corner of the blogosphere so I'm acting with the vibe this week.

The next three months are High Summer Season here on the coast when the pools, the beach clubs and the hotels are all full of families needing sun and relaxation. It's my favourite time of year because the weather is beautiful, the colours are intense and everyone's in a good mood.

 

More try-ons

This evening I've got my latest summer dress on but paired with an old pair of wedge sandals and a very old pair of stockings. I'm pretty sure I bought the stockings in the late '90s when gloss was in fashion but they're still in perfect condition.

 

 

Swimming 

I'm ready for the opening of the outdoor pool this weekend. The one sad part is that I can't afford to come out as trans at the moment so I look longingly at my swimsuits and bikinis in the drawer but know I won't be swimming in them. Not this season at least. 

My skin is smooth and hair-free, and this morning I removed the black nail polish I've been enjoying on my toes for the last couple of weeks. I think it'll be back on at Hallowe'en, though, for some witchy fun. The blue polish I tried recently was lousy but the black is great.

 

Slimming

I have more weight to lose, but not as much as before. Earlier this week I got to the lightest I've weighed in over 15 years. I'm a bit bigger again now as I attended a bit of a celebration later and pizza and beer were served. Pizza and alcohol are probably the two least slimming things in the universe so I'll have to swim the effects off over the next few days. At least hot summers reduce the appetite and make you actually want the contents of the fruit basket and salad bowl. The one thing I notice is that my slimming is not having much effect on my breasts, which remain perky and feminine, and that makes me happy.

 

Prickly and perky 

Talking of perky and feminine, I've had two cactuses flower this week. One's yellow and one's pink. Being trans feminine, as I always say, isn't just about the clothes but about the way you respond to life, and flowers attract me.

Pride Month

Next week I'll be posting some more positive stories to encourage us in this Pride Month. The Almighty Algorithm suggested this protest song to me this week and I'm happy to copy the suggestion here. It features the Trans Chorus of Los Angeles, which I'd not heard of before but I'm pleased to have had this introduction to them. There are many trans and queer musical ensembles and choirs around the world and it seems the number has grown a lot in the last ten years or so. It's not an easy task to make a coherent choir from singers whose voices rarely correspond to standard pitches.

"You Can't Erase Us" seems a sadly apt refrain in much of the world at present.

 

News just in: RIP British artist David Hockney, who died yesterday. A champion of LGBT rights, he painted queer subjects even before the decriminalisation of homosexuality. More in my arts post next week.

Have a good weekend.

Sue x

Pride Month - positive press pages

 Certain parts of the world have noisy, aggressive politicians and opinionated media who are transphobic. Other places are improving and supporting trans rights. A few positive examples culled from my reading just this week:-

 

Daily press: transition assistance triples 

In Italy's north-west coastal province of Savona, inquiries to Arcigay (the national LGBT support society) about social and medical transition have tripled in the last four years. In response to this, dedicated medical services are becoming available in local hospitals. Up to now people have had to go to the main hospital in the regional capital, Genoa. There has also been an increase in requests for information from teachers and schools on how best to assist trans students. 

Trans rights are strongly protected by law in Italy, provided you are transitioning. So work still needs to be done to improve trans rights outside the officially recognised transition route. Whilst transitioning in a big city is less socially fraught, Arcigay are seeing how trans people in isolated mountain communities can be better assisted.

(Interestingly, the Arcigay enquiry centre in Savona is financially supported by the Waldensian Church through monies derived from charitable tax relief. The main protestant movements like Lutheranism, Calvinism and Anglicanism arose in the 16th century but the Waldensians are a much older, deriving from Waldo of Lyons in the 12th Century. Despite many attempts to suppress them through violence, as happened to other proto-protestant movements like the Albigensians in France and the Hussites in Bohemia, the Waldensians have kept going, mainly here in the Alps. English poet John Milton's famous sonnet, On the Late Massacre in Piedmont ("Avenge, O Lord, thy slaughter'd saints ...") is about one such Waldensian genocide in 1655. Maybe it's this history of persecution that makes them support other oppressed groups like trans people. Anyway, it makes a nice contrast to the frothing transphobia of our local Roman Catholic bishop.)

 

Fashion press: Elle magazine

I have praised this mainstream women's magazine many times on my blog. It is regularly, consistently and unequivocally pro-trans, with frequent articles dedicated to trans matters. 

This week, Elle Italia has an interview with US-Chilean trans actress, Lux Pascal, especially on her last film role in Queen of Coal, a biopic about Carlita Rodriguez, the first trans woman to be a coal miner in Patagonia in a totally male dominated industry.

 

Science press

This month's Le Scienze, which is the Italian edition of Scientific American, and its sister publication Mind on neuroscience and psychology, have three relevant articles. 

One is a long piece on vocal cord defects of all kinds. There is a very nicely written page on the different vocal cord modification procedures for trans men and trans women. The tone is as matter-of-fact yet compassionate, as it is when describing other forms of dysphonia (i.e. when your voice goes wrong) and the treatments available. Trans is a thing and science treats it as such.

Another article is short but interesting summary of a study concluding that in queer relationships, communication is key. Nothing new there as far as cis and straight people are concerned, but trans and gay people often assume that if they are with someone like them then the communication battle is half won by their both having a similar queer experience. This is a bad assumption as, in fact, queer relationships have fewer standard scripts to rely on than cis/straight ones as each queer couple is, in many respects, breaking new ground.

Finally, there is a drama initiative in the mountain province of Biella in Northern Italy to help address young people's issues. The young actors are invited to ad lib and act spontaneously rather then follow a set script and directions. This has created much more real and immediate drama. Some of the issues include gender non-conformity. Actors and audience have described a visceral reaction against misgendering, even though here it's fictional. There's nothing like showing bare abuse for what it really is.

 

So there you have some pro-trans stories from my press cuttings this week. It's all steady, solid, accepting, even practical support in the print press, which is a shot in the arm, at least for this trans woman. I have some positive items from the world of arts and music to come in due course.

 

Preparing for summer

I continue to lose weight, I am getting tanned and I am looking forward to the outdoor swimming pool opening in a few days. To avoid any dysphoria like I suffered last year, I have made sure I am fully epilated (but I will take off this nail varnish). I'm still experimenting with new looks, nails and makeup - more on that soon.

I have also been doing a lot of gardening. My olive tree - now five years old - looks like it will have quite a crop of olives this year. And I've been admiring the lanes with their prickly pears in flower:

 

Pretty but dangerous. Maybe that's how we need to be! Happy Pride Month. 

Sue x

Try-ons - black is groovy!

 I've been going through a lot of the clothes I have to see if there's anything to get rid of, and trying out some stuff that I have bought recently, or that I can't remember ever buying or even wearing before.

The theme at the moment is black as I've tried my new black nail varnish and I'm liking it. A bit vampy, a bit goth, timeless yet modern. 

 

I decided the toes needed the treatment, too. 

 

The varnish has lasted well all week.

It's been hot but I don't do bare legs no matter the weather, so stockings have been preferable to tights/pantyhose. I hardly ever wear stockings as I find suspenders and hold-ups annoying (I know, I know, that admission probably gets me thrown out of any crossdresser clubs, right?) but with the unexpected heatwave it's been worth making the change and some pairs of stockings I've had for many years were put into service. They're still serviceable as they've hardly been worn!

So here's me this week going for an all-black theme and smokey eye makeup. But there's a hint of red in my hair and on my lips.

I prefer tights, ssshhh!

The patent boots are brand new, the leather skirt a couple of years old, the sheer-sleeved top about 10 years old.

 

I've no idea where and when I got a black, long-sleeved skater dress but I really like it. It's good in hot weather and it flows very nicely.

I tried it with a straight black wig for a bit more of a Morticia vibe.

 

But actually this dress came into its own with the longer red/brown wig, lace tights and court shoes. I think gives me a cute, almost Sixties look.

Sixties album cover art. Groovy, baby!

 

I think the dress is a keeper. 

These Jonathan Aston "fleur" lace tights must be 20 years old as they appear in my late 2008 makeover photos (towards the end of this post). But they're beginning to get imperfections and I really hope they still make them as they are very light, very pretty and very comfortable and I'd love to be able to get a replacement pair.

I also tried the dress with fishnet stockings and the patent boots and I think that worked well, too.

 

There's more to come on the black theme and on other try-ons but that will do for now. Comments welcome. 

 

Pride Month needs you

 

Although Pride events are scattered all over the calendar, June is Pride Month to coincide with the anniversary of the 1969 Stonewall Riots. Fellow blogger Carla in Spain has just put it so well as to why Pride matters. 

I shall be posting a host of positive things about LGBTQ+++ themes this month, starting with this enjoyable documentary I watched recently from Sadlers Wells Theatre in London, which is one of the world's foremost theatres that focuses on dance and where I've been thrilled by many performances from unusual places and traditions round the world, such as Georgia, Japan, Libya, Spain.... The documentary is about the Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo, the drag ballet parody company that was formed shortly after Stonewall and which, in its sixth decade, is going from strength to strength. I have little understanding of classical ballet as an art form so even the parody is a bit lost on me but I have always had a thing for ballerinas. I found the film fascinating, honest, impressive, poignant ...and making me wish that I could dance like this (well, it's not so much the dance as the tutu, isn't it?)

"Ballerina Boys" is 55 minutes on YouTube:

 

Happy Pride.

Sue x