Defying the bad

 January is never the jolliest time of the year, let's face it, so I have been planning and preparing for fun times ahead. In addition, today is Friday 17th which in Italy, Greece and some other countries is as bad as Friday 13th in English-speaking ones. To ward off bad luck, you are supposed to scratch yourself. And not plan journeys, do business, or cut your hair. Oh dear, there's a lot of bad luck on my way, then, as I've been doing all that today. I'd best hire a scratching robot to purge the evil.

Fear of Friday the Seventeenth is known as Friggaheptadecaphobia. Which sounds exactly like the sort of expression you mutter when bad luck befalls you! (Or is that actually what Muttley used to mutter when in the dog house!).

Anyway, here's what I've been doing to score on the femmometer this week.

Slimming to slinkier dress sizes - I lost another two pounds in weight (0.8 kg), which is a decent weekly loss and it would be great if I could keep that up steadily. Time for a reward!

Clothes - I am so much in love with the soft cotton trousers I bought in the sales last week that I got another pair in a size down - after all, slenderer is what we're aiming for. Thank goodness for elasticated waists, eh, girls? I also got an additional pair of feminine corduroy trousers for winter with those all-important deep pockets. I might make a repeat purchase of those, too.

Hair removal - I got a new lady shaver in purple that so far is proving useful for quick and easy hair removal. Not as accurate as a wet razor but a lot less painful than epilation. Time to find a waxing specialist for summer, though.

Travel - I have started booking my next major trip to Britain to sort residual things and have some more girl time with trans friends. So far I have bookings to visit London, Salisbury and Nottingham in late May / early June with Bath, Bristol and South Wales as other possibilities. A busy trip!

Salisbury Cathedral Close with Dee and Chrissie, November 2010

 

Grim Reaper

Not so good at the moment is the prospect of my having to attend a relative for some weeks after he has an operation as I am now his nearest kin who can. His other half and stepdaughter (a nurse) would have been ideal, of course, but his partner is now in hospital and the daughter died just before Christmas. We are all very upset about her passing. She was 62 and had had a lifelong heart problem that the doctors eventually ran out of options with. The Grim Reaper has been culling a lot of my friends and family these last three years and I confess it's getting me down, especially as most were my kind of age. If scratching's the remedy for this, too, then I'm scratching away!

 

Social media

I was annoyed to lose my Facebook account to hackers last autumn. But given the Cambridge Analytica scandal in 2018, their increasing twists and turns to make your info public, and now their policy change to reduce fact checks and allow more toxic discourse, I wonder if I'm so bothered and whether I would ever return. I'm becoming cautious about any social media site based in the US in the same way that I don't use any based in China. Maybe these sites have had their day as a place for enjoyable exchanges. OK, so this site, Blogger, is run by Google in the US, but that seems less Trump-leaning at moment, or am I uninformed? Lynn of YATGB offers a characteristically wise and informed summary.

Have a good weekend.

Sue x

The cat whisperer

 This is a bit of a photographic addition to my recent makeovers and photoshoots post, but enriched with cats.  

I've never kept a pet but I've always been happy to make my outdoor spaces friendly to bees, butterflies and other invertebrates with a variety of plants. This in turn attracts lizards, geckos and small birds who enjoy a juicy bug or two for lunch. You may recall Laura the Lizard who lived in my herb pots through the hot summer of 2022.

A few weeks ago I had a bad moment when a dog owner stopped to chat on her mobile and let her dog wander across the pavement on its lead, thus blocking my path completely. As I moved to step off the kerb to skirt round the dog, either through overfriendliness or curiosity, it bumped me and I nearly tumbled into the traffic. It was the distracted owner's fault but it was disconcerting. I had some bad experiences with dogs as a child and have never really trusted them since but I'd like to thank the various dog lovers I've asked to help me get to appreciate these animals better. Round here a dog is part of street fashion, preferably a small, overly fluffy thing that you can carry in a handbag or basket. The annual Christmas dachshund walk is hilarious. 

But the one critter I seem to attract like a magnet is cats. I've never owned a cat although my grandmother did. Somehow, they instinctively make for me and we get on immediately. In November I wrote about my makeovers and photoshoots (part II of that is coming soon, by the way) and mentioned the cat, Spike, a lilac point siamese, who insisted on being in many of the photos. 

 

I thought I'd share some of those here. 

This photo I've always called the "Three Kitties" picture: there's Spike the cat, there's Alan the Acrylic Leopard (deceased) and there's me, Cute Kitty!

 

Now here's Spike here prowling round my legs.

 

Him again, purring in my ear.

 

Now he's just bounced on my lap. I was worried he would rip my tights but Jodie my makeover artist said he never did that. She was right as I got out snag free. Just as well as I have two of my favourites layered here.

 

My skirt here was far too short which meant he didn't have a proper lap shelf to sit on so he was uncomfortable and soon hopped off again. Despite scrabbling for purchase, he didn't damage my tights here either.

 

Only one other photo of me dressed with a cat. That was last autumn when I stayed with friends who had three five-month-old kittens. They were all friendly but one took an especial shine to me and wanted constant cuddles. My head's not visible as I didn't have my hair and makeup done but these are my typical everyday fem clothes.

Much as we get on, I don't want a cat as a pet. I go away too often, which is unfair on any pet, and Tiddles would scare away the little birds and reptiles that are a pleasure here.

Have a good week.

Sue x

Back to normal, kind of

 Starting the weekend with good news.

Firstly, in the week after New Year, I got back to my healthy eating plan and I lost over three and a half kilograms (3.6 kg), or eight pounds (8 lb), in weight. This may be a personal record as I don't think I've ever lost so much in a week before. It brings me back to where I was before the Yuletide overindulgence started. 

I got several items of clothing in the sales at a good discount: women's trousers and shirts that are for everyday wear outdoors. The new trousers I'm wearing are so-o-o comfortable in soft jersey material. Men's clothes are never soft and comfortable like this. Why do men put up with that? Also, deep pockets. Why do so many women put up with mini pockets? Even if you've got a handbag, pockets are essential for the items you may need swiftly. So I'm happy with my purchases. Must buy more. 

Interesting to hear of this musical film, Emilia Pérez, with a trans actress that's winning awards. I have made a mental note to go and see it when it shows here. It seems to be dividing trans film critics a bit but I prefer to make up my own mind.

I'm currently reading a novel about LGBT people exiled to an island by Mussolini, based on real events. I'll let you know what I think of it when I've finished.

The festivities are over and I'm always a bit sad to take down the Christmas tree and decorations - I find a bright, cheerful home is good for getting through the shorter, darker days of midwinter here in the northern hemisphere. But anyway, the days are getting visibly longer. And I can't complain as the daytime temperatures outdoors have been around 16C (60F), which is normal for these parts.

I'm annoyed at not having been able to take any photos this year by my Christmas tree. That's mainly been down either to timing or to dealing with a leak that's required other persons to be in my home so, you know, stealth mode. There's more to the leak than a neighbour's burst pipe, though. I think he may be the catalyst for a forthcoming post about what to do about difficult politicians, for he is one. They seem to be increasingly popular!

 

A dip in the archives

I haven't dipped into the archives for ages. Appropriate to today's theme, this was me all wrapped up waiting for a train to take me to the sales in London in 2010. I miss those grey suede boots as they were warm and comfortable. I don't miss the grey skies.

Have a good weekend.

Sue x

Ladies of Liberty

 This post is intended mainly for my American readers as I know there are more than a few worries about what happens after January 20th.

In Milan last month I went to look for a statue that is said to be the (or one of the) inspirations for the Statue of Liberty. The statue is on the outside of Milan cathedral. I was worried it might take me a while to find as Milan cathedral is a colossus among places of worship (for centuries it was the largest cathedral anywhere*) and it has thousands of statues and carved figures. I've heard many numbers but they seem to be settling on 3400 statues, 700 other carved figures and 135 gargoyles. Potentially a long hunt, therefore. But I needn't have worried: the statue I was looking for is right in the centre of the main façade. (And if you're from the US, sorry for writing centre and not center but I learned my English in Britain and they can't spell ;-) )

Here she is:

 

Apart from leaning on a cross rather than holding a book, and holding an oil lamp not a torch, she is very like Lady Liberty, isn't she? She is "The New Law" sculpted by Camillo Pacetti in 1810 and stands just above the central door with her companion, "The Old Law", on the other side of the window.

 

It's easy to assume that Auguste Bartholdi* copied this statue for his Statue of Liberty. I'm a bit sceptical as there are genuine coincidences in art and I can't help feeling that Eugène Delacroix's famous painting Liberty Guiding the People (1830) is more likely to be the main inspiration:

Who can say? 

* St Peter's in the Vatican is larger but was built later and is a church not a cathedral (technical point). Frédéric-Auguste Bartholdi also used the pseudonym Amilcar Hasenfratz. That's a way better name!

The point is that I did this sightseeing exercise because I am distressed about the state of liberty in the world at present and obviously in the USA specifically. All the US bloggers I read, especially Hannah, Stana and Marian, have made their worries about the trans community under Trump quite clear and I share those worries. 

I was brought up under pretty brutal ideologies: cultish religion and extremist politics. I have been coming to terms with this and pushing against it for 30 years. I will be offering some advice in the next few weeks on how to understand and fight extremists who have phobic agendas. I'm only a trans woman with a blog but maybe any little helps against the potential enormity of the chaos and instability that might come and that we are already seeing with ongoing nationalist and religious ideologies in Eastern Europe, the Middle East, Brexit Britain, the South China Seas... 

That said, the self-absorbtion and general incompetence of the Trumpite top brass and the amorphousness and flexible living of the trans community may be saving graces here.

 

Shoutout

I promised Emily Shorette I'd do a shoutout for her blog, Emily's Virtual Rocket (https://emilysvirtualrocket.blogspot.com/) which is full of trans-related news. It's US-oriented, hence the relevance to this post.

Sue x

2025: slipping into something more (un)comfortable?

 Hello and happy new year. 

I hope you had a good Christmas and New Year. The official new year fireworks here were spectacular although some maniac nearby decided to let off some supernova bomb that was so loud that my ears are still ringing! Maybe the army surplus store had a sale on or something.

I made the traditional, symbolic new year supper which here is cotechino, a large and very fatty boiled sausage (to represent life's plenty) and lentils, which are shaped like coins and represent prosperity. I added some sauerkraut with wine and apple that went really well with the pork. 

Anyway, as is inevitable, I put on a lot of weight but it's allowed. It was nice to have time to cook and eat well. I'm back on the slimming regime and I lost two pounds overnight so something's working. I plan to do Dry January (as I did Dry November) so I'm sitting here with a glass of what I call Slimmer's Champagne, which is a champagne flute filled with fizzy mineral water with a dash of balsamic vinegar and a squirt of lemon juice to colour it and add tartness and flavour. For a moment you might mistake it for champagne. Anyway, it fools me, and I made it!

Any resolutions? Well, apart from continuing to get trim so I can get back into my favourite dresses, I'd like to meet up with other TGirls in Italy and continental Europe, so my (manicured) feelers are out.

Apart from that, I have found the past decade to be so unpredictable that I'm not inclined to make more resolutions than those as circumstances outside my control seem to be all too prevalent.

I always wish everyone the best for the year to come. To be honest, though, I don't think it much of a shock to say that, at this point at least, future world scenarios that look positive are not so many. But I like to be pleasantly surprised, so who knows? I have had this cover of The Economist from 29 December 1979 in my mind's eye recently. For years it was pasted up in a classroom at school and it struck me then and still does 45 years later.

(c) The Economist

The 1980s turned out not so bad as some feared. So ... into the late 2020s, then. My plan for bad news days, therefore, is to try to enjoy the little things as much as possible. Just for instance, this evening just after sunset I got a clear view of the conjunction of the moon and Venus. It's not a rare phenomenon but it does help you feel there are bigger things out there.

At the same time tomorrow the moon occults (i.e. passes in front of) Saturn from here and that is rarer and more exciting. And it's a free spectacle. (If you want to see the occultation it should be visible from the UK and Western Europe a little after sunset, so about 5pm to 7pm GMT - times vary depending on your location.)

This coming weekend is holiday here in Italy and on Twelfth Night (5th-6th) kids are visited by a kindly witch called Befana who gives them sweets and chocolates. I wrote in more detail about this and other traditions here. After that it's the January sales when I hope to stock up on women's trousers as my fem style in public these days is, let's say, ambiguously feminine. 

So, yes, it's kind of a plan for 2025. I hope this year is kind to you.

Sue x

The 2024 that was

 My last post of 2024. This has been a significant year because I managed to get out in public again after six years of injuries, moving country, Covid lockdowns and all the rest. 

I also enjoyed some cosplay fun and some makeup practice at home, bought and tried out a lot of new clothes, collected together a bunch of old photos, and lost a lot of excess weight. 

Here I've been able to write a lot about the trans community's promotion in the arts, and about positive things that defy current transphobia. It's been good to be able to do that.

 

Outings

The first outing was in Scotland with Roz in beautiful spring weather and that was a special day indeed: Scotland outing

The next was in London where I went sightseeing and met up with Stephanie in the evening: London outing 

In the autumn, I went shopping in Brighton with Stella: Brighton outing

I met Sandy (a.k.a. Mrs Sox) one evening in Bolton and we enjoyed an Indian meal and I had a random journey afterwards: Bolton outing

Followed the next day by a smart lunch and shopping in Manchester with Suki (a.k.a. Mrs Collins): Manchester outing

I haven't been out near my new home in Italy yet as I would like to meet other TGirls and go out with them. That's a resolution for 2025.

Scotland in the spring

 

Dinner in London

Home dressing fun

I've been practising some makeup skills at home, mainly around my eyes, which is not an area I usually concentrate on as I have to wear glasses and they hide any fancy eye makeup. I'm a bit lazy with the photography these days but two occasions stand out:

Trans Day of Visibility

Slim, sexy and windswept 

I had some fun accessorising a spidery silver witch costume at Hallowe'en and that was a very popular post:

Hallowe'en cosplay fun 

Photoshoots and ideals

People like photos; I've noticed that. I posted photos of all the looks created at my sessions at the Boudoir Dressing Service in 2004-08: Makeovers and photoshoots

 

There'll be more to come.

One very popular post was about what looks have inspired us in the past. Evidently, the polka-dotted, rara-skirted, big-haired, beribboned look of the mid-'80s pop scene is one of them, to judge by the viewer stats: What sets you off?

The overblown camp world of music and carnival seems very popular too: Transgender arts and culture (February)

Tips

I started a top tips page (here) to share experience with others on dressing topics. I seems to be popular, too.

2025

Thanks for reading.

Let me wish you a jolly new year's eve and a prosperous 2025. Stay beautiful.

Sue x

The other side

 So, you survived Christmas. Welcome on the other side. The diet starts now!

If you are lucky enough to have people in your life who accept you are trans, I hope they gave you a suitable gift. It's not so much the gift itself, though, is it? It's the acknowledgment that your other side, the less public one, is important. 

I don't have such people so I have been known to give myself that especially feminine gift. This year I was disappointed by the choice of hosiery, and the perfume I thought of was too expensive (or maybe I'm getting old and haven't cottoned on to the fact that inflation is still a thing). So I got myself some cheap chick lit and bought some fancy food instead. You may argue that a bottle of scent will last longer than a fridgeful of food (and make you more attractive than a big belly will) but I always remember a good dinner with fondness whereas scent fades so, you know, swings and roundabouts!

Apart from a gender-neutral look when spending time with neighbours, it's been nice to be dressed fully feminine this week. Yes, I'll post photos when I've got any that I think are half decent. My ageing face displeases me. Santa gets away with ageing by covering up with as much hair and beard as he can, but that's not the girly look I'm after. 

It's also been nice to have had plenty of time to prepare meals and cook really well, and to catch up with reading matter that's been lying round barely touched for weeks. And the warm sunshine has been glorious, pouring through the windows (and reducing my heating bill considerably!) I also remembered how much fun it was during those Covid lockdowns to do jigsaws and play games so I thought I'd repeat that this year where I seem to have a lot more down time than usual. A bit of jigsaw before bed is unbelievably relaxing - way better than overexciting online stuff. Must do this more often!

Mediterranean panorama in 500 pieces. Next up, the arty Birth of Venus in 1000 bits!

There's a lot of activity here over the next few weeks as the Christmas festivities don't end till January 7th. There's a funfair for grown-ups and one for kids, an ice-rink in the main square, another square is filled with a Christmas-themed kids' playground and there are innumerable concerts in all genres of music, indoors and out. I'm looking forward to the New Year fireworks over the harbour that are always spectacular. In fact, what I like about my new location in the Mediterranean is that there is always some excuse for a festivity throughout the winter months that are always so grim in Britain where I lived before where there are no public holidays or reasons to be cheerful from new year through to easter (unless you count Valentine's Day). Here we're anticipating the massive Sanremo music festival, carnival, the flower festival and the earliest Pride festival of the year.

Before the end of the year I'll be back with, I hope, some girly photos and a roundup of the year, which has been very active.

Enjoy any continuing time off.

Sue x

Season's greetings 2024

 Just to send all my readers my best wishes for the season, whether you celebrate Christmas or something else or are just glad of some time off. 

Well, here's me in the late afternoon on Christmas Eve and I still haven't got my makeup on or decided on what to wear. But I'm not going to stress about the dress, just enjoy the next few days and I hope you do, too.

So my greetings picture for 2024 is not from today but it still serves to send you best wishes for an enjoyable, peaceful and happy holiday season. 

 

Sue x

Midwinter cheer

 Today is winter solstice, midwinter, yule, the shortest day... 

So here's a short post! 

I don't cope well with the cold and the dark, as witness my recent bout of seasonal affective disorder (SAD). I previously described the summer solstice as my favourite day. So that this can't be called the lousiest day by contrast, I had a bit of a celebration with a Yule Lunch with all my favourite things on my plate. Because of how Christmas falls this year, the whole coming week is not conducive to anything but holiday stuff anyway, so I'm happy from now until New Year. And obviously, my slimming drive is suspended until 2025!

 

Christmas shopping ...continued

I had planned to treat myself to some fancy holiday tights but I confess I was a bit disappointed by the selection on offer in Calzedonia and other shops so I haven't got any. Instead, I've got some Santa-red nail varnish and I think an application on all four paws would be just right!

The above photo is from my Christmas shopping spree in nearby Sanremo the other day. The illuminations are not just for Christmas but last to the end of the national song contest in mid-February. By the way, the ice-cream shop Gelatè, centre-left, serves a really thick gooey hot chocolate (well, you didn't think I went there for ice-cream in December, did you?)

Shaken

There was a small earthquake here the other evening. The building shook and creaked a bit and I'm sure there's a crack in the plaster in the bathroom that wasn't there before. I shall have to take care in heels!

 

GRS success

This morning I got a lovely email from my friend who had her trans surgery earlier this week and is back at home. It all seems to have gone very smoothly and painlessly and she is very happy with the result. I hope she heals well. She is a very pretty girl, has approached her transition very maturely, has full support from her children and employer, and to cap it all she is engaged to be married, so I see a very happy future ahead. 

I'll be back with my annual Christmas message in due course.

Sue x

Marisa Paredes tribute

 A short tribute from a grateful trans person to Spanish actress Marisa Paredes who died yesterday.

You've heard of Bond girls; she was an Almodovar girl, appearing in six of the films directed by Pedro Almodovar, which really made her an international star, and it's that relationship that I inevitably focus on, and you'll see why. Bond girls are all much alike but Almodovar girls are stressed housewives, repressed Catholics or actresses/writers/socialites whose surface sparkle hides squalor and secrets. Paredes played all of these types equally well.

You may not have heard of either actress or director. But to myself as a trans woman - and to may other in the LGBTQ community - I don't think any other film director has spoken to me more forcefully than Almodovar. 

Trans characters appear alongside her in two films, All About My Mother (Todo sobre mi madre), "a magnificent tapestry of femininity" (Rotten Tomatoes), which stars Paredes as a stage actress and which has two trans characters, one we warm to (Lola) and one we don't (Agrado). There's the very different, almost Frankensteinian The Skin I Live In (La piel que habito) where, let's just say (the motives are complex), a modern-day mad scientist (played by Antonio Banderas), for whom Paredes is housekeeper, conducts forced feminisation (and then some) on a young man (with the sort of perfect results, albeit on an unwilling subject, that most of us would, ahem, kill for). In a third film, High Heels (Tacos lejanos), Paredes plays a singer who sees the act of a drag artist who impersonates her.

I think the main appeal for me is that in an Almodovar film, although being trans, queer or an outsider is accepted even if acknowledged as odd, the whole setup is odd, so it all evens out! Take Dark Habits (Entre tinieblas), for example, set in a convent where the nuns look after 'fallen women' but are all oddballs, including one who plays the bongos to entertain her pet tiger. Paredes is an LSD-addled ascetic who once murdered someone and cooks to assuage her guilt. Hollywood this isn't.

As a leading exponent, and in some ways the very voice and face of Spain's modern civic consciousness that moved remarkably in the late '70s and '80s from the repression of Francoist fascism to a country with a democratic constitution where people can now freely explore and express their outlook, their reality and their sexuality, Paredes has to be thanked. She and her sidekick Almodovar have certainly spoken powerfully to me. And not just through her work with him but, for instance, by appearing in Italian actor and director Roberto Benigni's film Life is Beautiful (La vita è bella) in which a man protects his son from the realities of life in a concentration camp.

Rest in peace.

English Wiki article on the actress including filmography here.

English Wiki article on Pedro Almodovar here.

(I've mentioned two Almodovar films with trans characters. There are more but the main other one is Bad Education (La mala educacion).)

Sue x