I am looking for sympathy but I know many readers are just going to laugh …
THE DAY MY BRA EXPLODED. A Tragedy, by Sue Richmond.
I have spent ten days in my storage unit in West London sorting out the mess left by removal men, floodwaters, reboxing and rearranging by others whilst I was in lockdown abroad, and various other disasters. Yesterday I finished, at last. It would be cynical to say that my most necessary items were, of course, typically, in the last box I came across; no, no, they were in the penultimate one! Anyway, finally, in the furthest corner, I came across the box containing my foundation wear.
Now, you’d have thought that a lightweight box clearly marked “fragile” would have been placed on top but no, it was at the bottom of a stack, under crates of books, household appliances, ironware, Acme anvils and anything else heavy they could find.
So on opening the box, the first thing that almost literally popped up was a gel-filled bra. Well, we all need a bit of enhancement sometimes, don’t we? Besides, gel helps make those irritating “admirers” just bounce off! You could hear the relief after years of pressure were released. You know how sometimes you take your bra off at the end of a long day and give a sigh of freedom? Well, this time it was the garment, not me, that did so. So I lifted it out of the box …and it exploded - both barrels - sending gooey gel everywhere. Talk about seepage!
Tell me, what wording could I use to claim a burst bra on the insurance?
I’m annoyed as it was the most expensive bra I have, and a very pretty one, too. But I guess if it had to burst it was better this way than out on a date ...
Anyway, I thought I should get that off my chest.
I have taken away various items of Sue clothes and the rest will be transported to my new home in due course. Oh, and I did find the box of high heels, too, and have taken a couple of pairs for now.
Whilst In London in did also manage to see friends in the locality and went to one of the fantastic trans art exhibitions I have been mentioning over the summer. More on that next time when I have rested after a physically demanding two weeks.
A dip in the archives
One more from my old memory card rediscovered last week
Sue x
I did sense a disturbance in the Farce. It was as a lone voice called out "not me best baps!" 😉
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about boobageddon (brapocalypse?). Okay, no more puns.
I seem to recall a story about a trans person who's homemade wallpaper paste filled 'boobs' popped. The perils of being fancy in a built up area, eh?
Hopefully the shoe collection and other items were stashed with more care.
Thanks, Lynn (I think!)
DeleteLiterally the only item that was damaged was that bra, and in some respects it was after the event.
I have heard of birdseed breastforms but wallpaper paste seems to take Do It Yourself to a whole new level!
Sue x
Yes, birdseed and also rice. A friend wrote about her experiences of trying to use small balloons filled with shampoo. It did not go well, bless her!
DeleteGood to hear that was the only casualty.
Sorry to hear of your boobs exploding ! - I actually managed to tear the outer layer of one of mine the other day, I put some wide cellotape over it to keep it in service while I look at options.
ReplyDeleteYou could try "prosthetic eye catchers" with the insurance perhaps :) - were they expensive, I did buy my current ones after purging another set many moons ago, and noticed they seemed a lot cheaper.
Izzy x
Hi Izzy, thanks for your support, as it were. It wasn't the boobs themselves that went bang but gel inserts sewn into the bra cups. I think the bra was at least £30, but probably below the excess on any insurance claim. Sue x
DeleteOh I am very sorry about your bra. But, you are right. Principally, if it's not yours, it is a story you could smile at. I did not know there are bras with silicone fillings. Wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteVioletta
Thanks for your comment, Violetta. I guess if people had a laugh then the bra served some purpose! Sue x
Delete