Sunday 21 February 2016

Despair

I have had a very severe bout of 'flu and am still not feeling good after ten days of it. But it's time to update the blog with the results of my other health checks.

I went to the allergy clinic at Guy's Hospital in the howling gales a fortnight ago and had patches with about 80 substances applied to my back to see if my skin reacted to them. In brief, nothing happened. So I'm not allergic to anything.

This is not the good news it may seem. It means that the eczema that has bugged me continually all my life, which erupts on my face every ten years or so and which can last months or usually years, and which has currently brought my femme existence to a halt, is probably genetic in origin and therefore incurable.

As if to mock me further, this morning it was back all over my face, as if the last three months of treatment had never happened.

I started this blog to be a cheerful celebration of trans life. But I don't know what to do any more. There's a hole in my very soul. I feel such despair.

Sue x
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8 comments:

  1. Lynn Jones21 February 2016 at 17:23

    Sue,

    I don't really know how to start this, but I am sorry to hear the news. It is a loss and it is understandable to be laid low, by such a - well, frankly - cruel turn of events.

    If you feel the need for a chat, you know where I am and I'll get back to you. Please don't give up hope. It will take time, but there's always something that can be done.

    Lynn
    x

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    Replies
    1. Sue Richmond27 February 2016 at 19:57

      Thank you, Lynn. I do appreciate your support very much. Sue x

      Delete
  2. Unknown21 February 2016 at 17:37

    As Lynn writes, really sorry to hear this. I do hope it improves before too long

    D xx

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  3. Kay Denise22 February 2016 at 00:59

    Don't despair Sue, something has worked in the last 3 mths and take comfort from that please. At the moment you may think its genetic in origin but it may not - poss not found the right test? Although I may not understand although I do try too - surely something has kicked it off again recently - anything different in the last couple of weeks?? Yes, I know all bases covered you think but may be not? Please stick in there Sue, good days will be back. xx

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    Replies
    1. Sue Richmond27 February 2016 at 20:02

      I myself don't really know what to think. All I do know is that I have battled with this problem all my life - which is quite a long time now! - and no medical intervention has ever solved it. It's basically killed my trans life, and I don't greatly care for being dead like this! Sue x

      Delete
  4. Nikki Kent22 February 2016 at 18:38

    Oh, I can understand how upsetting this must be for you Sue after struggling last year to control the eczema.But, as you have written, it does go and when it does you'll enjoy life to the full again.
    Nikki xxx

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    Replies
    1. Sue Richmond27 February 2016 at 20:03

      Thank you Nikki. What's making me despair is the fact I now know that my trans life is restrained and restricted by this problem. I can't be me, and for such an unexpected reason. Sue x

      Delete

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