Thanks when due

 I had a lovely time with Roz who came to visit a few weeks ago (read our adventures here). Sadly, her suitcase didn't accompany her home. It contained her main makeup bag, some favourite dresses and jewellery of sentimental value. Fortunately her precious toy beaver had been put in her carry bag so he was around to console her! Happily, the airline identified her case in the end and it arrived at her home several weeks later. Indeed, the case sat in the courier's van for a fortnight after having been located! The wheels were broken right off it, though, and it can't be used again because of the ragged holes left because of that. And some of her jewellery was missing. Obviously, this is not good service. In addition, the rigmarole involved on these occasions is distressing. It's just as well that she was home and it didn't happen on the way out. But a compensation claim has gone in to the airline and both she and I intend to see that she gets it. OK, these things happen, but the handling of the problem, let alone the handling of the item, wasn't great.

We always remember lousy events - a lovely day out can be marred by just one transphobe shouting abuse. Roz assures me her holiday wasn't spoilt by the suitcase saga. But when things go really well, or we get great service, it's important to express our gratitude. I was heartened by this story on another blog (My Life by Andrea Raven) about a TGirl who went for a bra fitting, was delighted by the kind service she received and wrote a thank-you letter that really made waves. Her gratitude has made an employee's whole week, it's vindicated the company's diversity policy, and the shop and its staff are happy. We often take service for granted - after all, we're paying for it! - but when someone deals with you above and beyond pure duty then remembering to thank them can really change everything. It means any other TGirls who go to that store know that they will get the right attention and that the company is keen to tailor its services to their needs. 

I recall years ago being on a work trip and having to meet a client whose premises were on a trading estate on the edge of London. The meeting went on a long time and, as food wasn't offered, I came out into a cold, grey, snowy afternoon feeling tired and hungry. The only place anywhere near was an out-of-town supermarket's café. I ordered straightforward fish and chips, nothing glamorous, just something hot and filling. And it wasn't that I was cold and hungry - it really was probably the best fish and chips ever: crispy batter, decent fish, chips that were fluffy on the inside and crisp outside and all piping hot and quickly delivered. I dashed off a quick thank-you letter to the catering manager. Presumably an everyday supermarket café is not used to praise but I got a thank-you-for-your-thank-you letter in reply saying that the relevant staff were getting a commendation! The Order of the Chip Fryer, First Class, perhaps. So several people were happy and will probably feel their job is a little more worthwhile and further customers may benefit from that. 

It's not dissimilar with services to the trans community specifically, or places that have hosted me and my friends. Restaurants need and rely on recommendations. It cuts both ways: you commend them to friends or online and, once a gaggle of TGirls become regulars, your average restaurant will offer discounts. A free pudding always goes down well, doesn't it?! If your dressing service, photographer, makeup artist, personal shopper or whoever has given you memorable service or excellent goods, then do give them some positive feedback. In a world that is often cruel, a little bit of thought, care and kindness can go a long way, and also helps the trans community become more welcome around the place even in times that are more hostile.

Lunch at Salieri in the Strand. London Angels went here so regularly that Sami the manager would get worried about us if we hadn't turned up for a while! We were always well looked after.

Sue x