My perfect weight is 63 kg or 10 stone exactly. That's because I am petite, just 163 cm (or 5 foot 4) tall and my shoe size is EU 39 or UK 5½ (I think that's an 8 in the USA).
Being petite is great when you're shopping for women's clothing as there's plenty to fit. A lot of my M2F friends struggle with much less choice and I feel for them, and indeed for the plenty of taller, larger or broader footed women out there. However, being petite is not so good when you're forced to be in a man's world when height and bulk count for a lot. It's why I developed a disarming sense of humour - men don't respect my smallness, but they respect a good entertainer.
But I'm committed to the feminine side of life. I fully accepted that way back in late 1990s and have been my feminine self every day since, even if not necessarily all day.
When I was young I was very slim. The fact is, I didn't like eating. I guess my parents and, to an extent, my schools were very forceful about eating and I think I associated food with repression. Then I started working, got my own home, and made a point of taking more interest in food and food preparation and I got quite plump. A girlfriend twenty years ago wanted to lose weight and so I went along with her to Slimming World to give moral support and I started to lose weight alongside her till I was at my ideal size. I kept that perfect weight for several years, including my first trips out as Sue, until a more sedentary job made me very gradually put on the pounds. Only two or three pounds (1-2 kg) a year but over time that builds up. Then having my leg damaged in 2018 and having to sit with my leg up for months and not being able to walk properly till early 2020 really did for me. After that, being confined indoors by Covid lockdowns added to the problem. By late 2020 I was the biggest I've ever been, 95kg or 15 stone. The only way was down and I did very well until March last year, getting down to 74kg (11 stone 9 pounds). The outbreak of the Ukraine war was very distressing, though. It shattered the world order we've had since 1945 and, on top of all the distress of my eczema since 2014 that practically ended my public appearances as Sue, Brexit 2016 that damaged my business, the stress of moving abroad, the isolation and stress of Covid, I've rather felt like giving up. Comfort eating really is a thing. By the end of this May I was back up to 90 kg (14'2").
The above may be dull reading but it explains what's happened and why my weight has yo-yoed for a decade or more.
These last 10 days it's been hot and so I've felt like eating a lot less, and that mainly salads, and I've not drunk any wine or other alcohol (wine is the most fattening thing of all - you might as well drink lard). I've swum every day and I always take a 30-60 minute trip to the shops every day, carrying my shopping back up a steep mountain road. So in those 10 days I've lost 1.7 kg or nearly 4 lb. This is the way to go so may the hot weather continue! I also hope for no new traumas. Especially that. That way I may get back to my proper healthy weight again and enjoy those cute little dresses I still keep in the hope they'll fit once more.
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| 2008 - optimal weight and shape (although I did have a corset on) |
Hope and pride
I was delighted to hear that Milan Pride, Italy, attracted an estimated 300,000 attendees. The city's population is 1.3 million so that is a H-U-U-U-GE turnout.
I'm also happy to say that much of the press in Italy - notably the Gedi Group, that publishes quality daily newspapers and science magazines, and the fashion press like Elle - are resolutely generous towards the reporting of LGBT issues and let the community speak for themselves. But then I have noticed that the Italian media are much freer and less hostile than the British press I used to know.
On the down side, I am upset that Queerpoint Makeover Studio in St Petersburg, Russia, that did makeovers and shopping trips for TGirls, and seemed to be spearheading a Russia where it was OK to be out and trans, has shut down most of its online presence. With the inhuman repression of LGBT people as Putin's war and other failures need more scapegoats, I hope they can keep themselves and their clients safe.
A dip in the archives
Another photo from Sparkle Festivals past. This one taken in Canal Street, Manchester, in 2015. Happy days.
Sue x
I to am 5'4" - petite. Yes, love the clothes I can wear and today very much love this height. That has not always been the case and found thar in business as male it was a handicap. Us short girls need to stick together. Very much enjoy your blog. .
ReplyDeleteRhonda
Thank you, Rhonda. Yes, advantages and disadvantages. Always move to side with the advantages! Sue x
DeleteDear Sue, Thanks for your article on weight and height. I am sorry to hear that your are struggling with your weight. With my 183 cm, I am quite tall for a crossdresser but still manage okay and occasional wear some high heels out as well. About three year ago I targeted my weight (not necessarily for being crossdresser) and I feel very comfortable now at around 73 to 74 kg. Due to some medical issues, I am limited in my exercise options, but am dieting strictly and am thus permanently hungry :-( On the other hand, I am very fortunate that liquid calories seem to affect me very little :-). Love, Franzi
ReplyDeleteThank you, Franzi. 74kg sounds ideal for your height ... but I am sad to hear you are always hungry. Eating foods with lots of water in, like fruits or crunchy vegetables you can eat raw (like celery or cucumber), help keep hunger down but don't add to the weight, I find. Sue x
DeleteDear Sue, Thanks for your suggestions. In my simple view, there is no loosing weight without hunger. Hunger is the clear sign of your body - drawing a comparison from economics - that current assets have been used up and that as of now fixed assets are being consumed. :-) Franzi
DeleteHi again, Franzi. I used to go to Slimming World. I checked to see if they have a presence in Germany but they don't seem to at the moment, but that may change. Their website is this: https://www.slimmingworld.co.uk/ . They say that most people give up on diets because they feel hungry so their idea is to eat as much as you want so as to feel full, but of the right kinds of foods. There isn't space to explain the scheme here, although you can get the idea online, but the system worked very well for me. Sue x
DeleteGood luck with keeping healthy and, with luck, trim too.
ReplyDeleteAs well as the social and personal, I think there's an age element to things. I'm finding I'm -ahem- broadening in shape, even if my actual weight isn't changing. Bah, humbug.
FWIW, for health reasons for Mrs J we've reduced our meat and alcohol intake, and that seemed to make quite a difference. Salads and veggie stuff seems the way forward 🙂
A shame about Queerpoint and sadly, understandable given what's going on over there. As you say, I hope people can be safe.
Thanks, Lynn. You are right about cutting down on the meat and booze. I have found that doing that helps a lot.
DeleteObesity is a crisis these days, as we know, but I'm pleased to be reading reports in the science press that this is not a personal problem that each has a moral duty to tackle for themselves but a worldwide problem created by cheap but overprocessed food, more sedentary and centrally heated lifestyles that it's impossible to avoid, pollution and chemical interference in our bodies and a lot else. So keeping trim and healthy is harder these days. For me it's about better health, of course, but I confess that vanity comes into it, too. The curse of the trans gene strikes again! Sue x