Getting older (and uglier?)

 Well, my last post certainly seems to have generated a lot of interest, if the infallible Blogger stats machine is anything to go by. 

I guess the styles of our formative years have a bearing on how we see ourselves. Don't get me wrong - I no longer dress like a teenager of the 1980s, fun and desirable though that style may be (or not!), because I am a mature woman of the 2020s so, yes, my leather pants and boho blouse are now 'in' and rara skirts are not. 

I believe trans women are women and should follow contemporary fashion, as any other woman can if she so chooses. I know ultragirly clothes are especially attractive to trans girls as they compensate for years of forced masculinity, but if you want to be treated as a woman then behaving like one is important, and that includes style, which is always a key signal to others of one's own intent. Should you dress as a polka-dot goth lolita if you want to? Absolutely! But you will get noticed, which is fine if you like that, but if you're like me and would rather get on with life without being pestered or pointed out as someone odd then it's better to blend in and appear in something similar to what other women around you are wearing. 

I'm not sure that the ubiquitous 'casual' style of the moment is that great, although it can at least be cheap and easy to wear. But I am becoming very conscious that I am getting older, less flexible, more tired and it's a struggle for my face to look anything other than flabby and wrinkly. Losing weight fast has, I think, left me with wobblier skin on my face. I don't like how I am looking in photos any more - it's hard to take a good picture now that doesn't make me look jowly. It bothers me a lot because it's giving away more than I would like - no, not so much that I am aging but that I have had the crushing disadvantage of having had to go through male puberty and the damage to my femininity that results from that.

A lovely trans friend has emailed me saying how ugly she is -  according to her, at least, and to the nasty folk she seems to insist on listening to. Actually, she is gorgeous, with beautiful natural blonde hair and a lovely mouth and cute eyes and I would love to have even half the pretty features she has. But I can't easily reassure my friend of her beauty when I am having doubts about mine. It's hard not to feel that ugliness has set into my features as time has passed. Again, I don't have the natural advantage of as much female hormonal development as other women and that's bothering me more than before.

As for clothes, tottering on five-inch heels is no longer my desire - I'm not sure it ever was - but three-inch is still tolerable. Elasticated waists are a godsend and Lycra smooths out so much.

I did ask my genetic female friends recently about what I should change in my style so as to represent my aging better, in terms of hair, makeup and clothes, and they said that these days it's the thing for a woman to dress younger, to colour her hair and to wear it how she wants. Hearing that was encouraging as I have long since settled on a hairstyle that I love and I think suits me perfectly ("Carrie" in darker tones, by Noriko) and I'd like to keep it.

I do notice mothers and grandmothers in Western Europe dressing similarly to their daughters and granddaughters. Now any age, it seems, can opt for attractive, contemporary and stylish. Gone are the days when old ladies were expected to dress like old ladies! Here on the continent of Europe I notice very many older women (70s/80s) wearing leather leggings, short skirts or brightly coloured shoes. (A small, fluffy, gormless-looking dog carried in a basket or handbag really adds to the look, too!) 

I thought this look might have been a bit too much for a night out last month for a woman approaching retirement but, no, the somewhat seethrough blouse, leather skirt, mesh tights and high boots is perfect now even for a woman of my age. 

So thanks to my friends for their reassurance.

More food festivities

As mentioned last post, it's foodie time on the riviera. 

Roast chestnut festivals are the thing in most of the mountain villages in the province this month with huge smoking braziers in every village square. 

You won't be surprised to hear that pumpkins are being celebrated in various places, too. 

And codfish! Always a traditional staple food, but usually salted or dried. 

Mushrooms continue to abound and I treated myself to these beauties, which I had just cleaned and washed when I took this photo.

I then chopped them smaller and stewed them up with lots of the amazing local garlic from Vessalico (a village up the road that's renowned for its garlic that's twice as spicy as the boring stuff you get in a supermarket), and with the wonderful oil from the local Taggiasca variety of olives, a touch of the local vermentino white wine and my own home-grown parsley, mint and chilli pepper. Fresh local produce pretty much guarantees a delicious dinner.

This girl likes to eat. Thankfully, my clothes have elasticated waistbands and stretchy Lycra these days!

Sue x