Dolly Parton & Tim Curry, allies

 I am in little doubt that the world of entertainment can write better tributes than I can - presentation is their job, after all - but I confess to being very sad that two great performers, Dolly Parton and Tim Curry, both passed away yesterday. They were both steadfast and ferocious allies to the trans and gay communities, despite neither being LGBT+ themselves, and their advocacy was special and precious. Heck, Dolly was even a Christian, which in the USA seems to mean you are required to hate trans and gay people with pathological ferocity. But it was the opposite with her.

My condolences to their families and close friends.

Obviously, Tim Curry's best known performance was as Dr Frank N Furter from Transsexual Transylvania in the Rocky Horror Picture Show, which for decades now has had cult following, and then some. My trans life was already established by the time I first saw it, yet it has always been firmly among my favourite movies for its refreshing zaniness and the unequivocal message of "Don't dream it, be it." I took that to heart and it helped me push myself to get out in the world as myself. Not your words, Tim, I know, but it was your delivery that helped me. As well as your constant advocacy and support for trans people in so many subsequent interviews, even when you were disabled in a wheelchair after your stroke. Thank you. Rest in peace, you old devil.

I confess I know less of the flamboyant yet evidently honest Dolly Parton but I was certainly well aware of her uncompromising support for LGBT+ people. Years ago I heard of how, for fun, she entered a Dolly Parton lookalike contest and only came runner-up to the drag queen who won. Far from being offended, this only seemed to cement her connection with our whole vast community. 

We lost two formidable allies yesterday, ones so much in the public eye that I worry how such people can be replaced. Then I remember that a new generation of cis / straight performers is growing up who are open allies, too. Just a few evenings ago in my new location in Italy, pop singer Dittonellapiaga, who won the Queer Prize at this year's massive national Sanremo Music Festival, was back performing outdoors to the public for free. 

Queer people have always existed and always will. I'm sorry, though, that we still need the support of cis/straight people to speak to other cis/straight people about us, but we do have them.

Rest in peace, both. 

(I'd like to put their photos up but they're all ferociously protected by copyright. This is the trouble with celebrities. Their image is public, but not once printed! So here instead is the trans flag that they helped us fly, with thanks.)

 

Sue x 

Rain goddess, wig choice, eclipse dysphoria

 It's been raining. The first time anything resembling proper rain has fallen for three months. I went out to grab my washing off the line and it felt amazing to feel drops on my skin, a long-forgotten sensation. And the temperature has dropped so much that I've put some leggings on today. I love summer but this year has been horrid with no let up in the heat until now. 

TGirls often say how much more they prefer autumn to summer. There are more obviously feminine choices in attire to be made, your makeup doesn't run and your wig doesn't boil your head. I mean, it's nice to wear a bikini and flip-flops, but there's nothing like a full skirt, silk blouse and boots, is there?

Rain goddess. Strangely, rain dancing, spells and incantations were a lot more effective in England where this photo was taken.

  

Wig choice 

Thank you to all the people who have contacted me about the wig ideas I posted a fortnight ago. 

Although the shorter, layered style got the most support, I have decided against it. 

 

I have several shorter styles already and they don't really work for me because I feel less passable. Yes, yes, I know that passing is not just about how you look, but shorter hair exposes what I find least feminine about my face, and that's the clincher. Here are three other shorter styles I already have.

 

And some more I've tried and, although I loved the bobbed styles, I felt they didn't work for me, or would only in studio conditions. 

 

Besides, that wig costs twice as much as my usual style. So thank you all for the valid and considered comments, but I won't be buying it.

As many of you noticed, I did love the long style very much.

 

Of of my two GG friends said I looked beautiful in it. I certainly felt beautiful.

But practical considerations, high cost and comments that you can tell it's machine woven make me hesitant about buying it. I'd best give the long hair idea more thought, although I'll still be wearing long styles for fun things.

 

So, once again, thank you very much for your input. It's been an important exercise for me to listen carefully to others' experience and ideas rather than just plumping for what seemed fun. 

 

Eclipse and other events

Last week, clutching my eclipse spectacles in one hand and my bus ticket in the other, I clambered aboard the bus that trundles down the beautiful coast road to the headland called Capo Sant'Ampelio. It's a pretty spot, with rocks to dive off and an ancient chapel among the palms, and it was deemed the best place in the whole country to watch the eclipse. 

 

Anyway, total eclipse was not quite available here because sunset got in the way just a few minutes before totality but we were pretty close and it was a thrill to watch the sun gradually being eaten away till it looked like a thin slice of orange. 

The "eclipse of the century" that also traverses the Mediterranean will be next year but we'll only see about 60% coverage from this location. The best place to see that one is North Africa, especially Egpyt, if you want to combine it with a trip to Luxor or scuba diving or similar.

One odd thing happened. There's a bar on the headland (of course there is; this is Italy and there's a bar at every location that people might gather!) and they were obviously holding an invite-only eclipse party, with many people clambering out onto the rocks, even in heels, looking a lot like a colony of penguins! 

 

But they clearly had a white dress theme and the women in light, white dresses and skirts, strappy high-heels and summery accessories sent my dysphoria into overdrive. My eclipse specs were donned to avoid 'frock blindness', which is a new type on injury arising from too many fabulous outfits causing a trans person to lose their eyesight! Phew! Just saved myself. But it was a very dysphoric moment. Ouch!

A couple of days later we had the mid-August public holiday and the fireworks display that can be seen for miles without needing to leave home. Very pretty, but I think the council could spend a little less on entertainment and more on mending the broken pavement outside! 

The full summer season lasts another ten days and then the holidaymakers all have to get back to work and school and I get a bit more outdoor dressing privacy again. I would like to make more of my outdoor space this week, in fact, as the immediate neighbours are all away, only it's raining!

Sue xx 

This blog turns 15

Hello and thanks for clicking.

I've been writing this transgender blog for 15 years now. If it was a human being, it would be a moody teenager. Thankfully, my blog does what I tell it!

Moody teenager

 

Life was very different when I first started writing. I was considering transition and spending much time with transitioners to see if it was the right move for me. And much of my social life was spent at trans events, organising and going on outings with my new trans friends, and offering a safe space in my home for others to dress and get made up in.

With the girls in Shoreditch, London

Obviously, I haven't transitioned; I have since moved to another country; and I am more concerned with the state of trans rights now than I was then. So my blog has changed a lot in content, being less about days out and more about solidarity. 

One thing remains unchanged and constant: I am a trans woman and I dress as one every day. Being trans can be severely limiting in life, yet it also provides much joy. So I try to bring out all aspects of trans life here, but especially the positive and beautiful ones.

I used to use these "blogversaries" as an opportunity to make lists of the most popular posts since the previous anniversary. But in the last couple of years my blog has been crawled over by so many bots that it's becoming very hard to tell what is genuine human interest and what is merely mechanical perusal. I think the problem became significant when (believe it or not) I happened to post the scientific names of some mushrooms ... and my blog was suddenly probed by bots from universities all over the world. Presumably they are looking for the latest scientific papers to drop and maybe a trans girl who went to a botanic garden to look at plants and fungi in her summer skirt with a friend made the grade for all these research institutions. 

 

Kew Gardens, London, 2011

Whatever. Just the other evening I received my millionth hit but I doubt it was from another person. So I can't be easily sure who's reading what any more. One thing I am fairly confident in is that the TGirl Bar at the 2013 Erotica Fair in London will always be the most popular page here. And if the bots love burlesque dancing and pretty trans barmaids as much as the humans do then maybe there's hope for the future!

Trans barmaids at the Erotica Fair 2013. I am third from right.

The blog background image remains the one taken of me at Painshill Park in Surrey, England in 2011, just as I started writing. I still like it. And that skirt remains such a favourite that I wore it on my last shopping trip in London in July. I still go out when I'm able to make safety, privacy and opportunity coincide and I hope to be out again next month when I have planned more shopping in London and sightseeing in Scotland.

Trafalgar Square, London, 2026

Thanks for reading. If this blog encourages, inspires or supports just one other trans person, or serves to prove that trans life continues despite the hate, or makes the world more colourful and fun, then it has served a purpose.

Thank you for reading.

Sue x 

Hair, fur, fluff and fuzz

 Many thanks for all the comments I have received so far on my previous post on new wig choices. A couple of thoughts I received in person, many by email and some from comments here. The more doubtful and even negative ones are especially useful as they have made me stop and think.

I'll let you know whether I go for either of the two new proposed styles when I return to London next month.

I deliberately left out two factors in asking for opinions: how I feel about them and what they cost. The reason for the first omission is to get a reaction from people based purely on sight. It's lovely to get support and encouragement, and our trans community and allies are often great at that, but in big decisions you need reality to kick in. They both cost twice what my usual style costs, which isn't exactly cheap either, so I don't want to make an expensive mistake.

The other thing I thought I'd mention about hair is that I am having a resurgence of facial hair. This is odd as my facial hair had whitened and slowed in growth over the last few years to the extent that shaving only every two days for about a decade and then just every three days in the last couple of years was becoming normal. Recently, I often needed to use no beard covering makeup under my foundation as my hair was so pale. This summer, though, the hair around my mouth has markedly darkened and I am back to shaving every two days. This seems very odd. Maybe it's due to diet? Climate? Hormones? I can't say.

I now need strong beard coverage again. The moment I stepped off the Eurostar train at London's St Pancras International Station on arrival there in July I made a beeline for the handy Mac shop in the station concourse and bought a bright orange blusher as well as a darker cream foundation to match my summer tan. Both worked well for me all day during my shopping trip the next day. But the change in hair growth and tone is odd and I'm puzzled by it.

Anyway, the Mac blusher shade is unhelpfully called "Loudspeaker". It's a sort of dark tangerine and is ideal for covering beard shadow (though utterly unsuited to my cheeks). Mac is never cheap, though.

 

Body hair responds well enough to shaving in the shower, especially with natural soaps. I mentioned Aleppo soap bars last summer which are wonderful for this job and their high oil content leaves you with no need for moisturiser afterwards. I have been experimenting with rice starch soap and tea tree oil soap, too. They are cheaper and also provide a nice glide but leave you dryer afterwards. As someone who suffers from skin problems like eczema, I was given inspiring advice by a doctor once, which was that it was best not to put on my skin anything that I was not prepared to eat. Hence the foodie choices here! But the fact is that not all the heavily synthesised cleaning products we use these days are good for you. I do recommend the Aleppo soap in particular, ideally the fully natural sort from Syria itself. Not cheap, but marvellous when you are shaving or exfoliating.

 

Astronomy month, summer activities, and my resident critter

It's astronomy month for all. Friday's solar eclipse is not quite total here but will be 94% at sunset. I can't see the sun at sunset as there is a mountain in the way. Now logic would say that climbing the mountain, which is only 900m, would be the solution and the view from the top would be stunning. Except that behind that mountain is another, even higher, mountain. So I might take the bus down the coast to Cape St Ampelio where it's said there should be a virtually ininterrupted view of the eclipsed sun setting near the skyscrapers of Monaco, which might make quite a good camera shot. 

The last similar eclipse I enjoyed was in 1999. I worked at a significant science facility and we staff went on to the roof to view this rare phenomenon. Until some petty jobsworth official came up and told us the roof was out of bounds as it was 'dangerous'. Had we not been involved in rational science we could have thrown the said jobsworth off the roof as a sacrifice to the sky gods in return for the sun's light. A poor sacrifice for the immortals, you'll agree, but an appropriate one! Bah! There's no fun in being reasonable and rational is there?

There's an eclipse of the moon at dawn on the 28th, and the Perseids meteor shower during the month. I've enjoyed seeing quite a few meteors in recent years here.

We had one of our garden parties last weekend which was quite fun. And there's a pizza party this weekend, when there will also be the local council's mid-August fireworks, always a good event. 

At home, the hot weather continues relentlessly, by day and by night. Going for a swim doesn't help as the sea and the swimming pools are just the same temperature as the air. The Mediterranean is becoming a tropical sea, and the invasive species from the Caribbean and the Indian Ocean are loving it! It's just as well I planted all those cactuses earlier this year as they are thriving and my herbs all died while I was away. Harvests are being gathered early and there is some food scarcity in the shops. Including bottled water. Which means we have to drink wine instead. Oh, the humanity!

Harry Hopper, my resident grasshopper, also thrives and his pot of plants is now a jungle ideal for him. I say him, but I am now almost confident that Harry Hopper is in fact Hettie Hopper, very likely female and most probably an Italian locust, a very common species here. If you don't like creepy-crawlies then look away below as my latest pictures show a rather handsome critter in shades of coffee brown (she was green when younger) and almost two inches long. Females of this species are much bigger than males, and that's why I think she is female. (What the trans status of this species may be, I don't know.) 

I don't keep a pet as it's unfair to an animal when the 'owner' goes away as often as I do, but resident birds and insects are welcome. In many cultures it is considered an honour and a blessing when a house martin or hearth cricket or house centipede chooses your home as its residence. I feel honoured to have Hettie here this year, as I was when Laura the Lizard lived in my herb pots for five months in 2022.

 

 

Hettie Hopper, my Resident Critter for 2026

 

My next post will be celebrating 15 years of blogging.

Sue x 

 

New hair

 I am looking for honest opinions.

I went to the London Hair Clinic a couple of weeks ago. It's where Trendco has moved to, just behind the bustle of Oxford Street and its vast stores. In the 2010s I used to visit the old Trendco shop in Kensington every few months as I was experimenting with my hairstyle, and also living most of my time as female, so I got through a lot of wigs. I got to know Michael and the staff there quite well.

People who need wigs are people who can be quite self-conscious and upset as to why they are in such a clinic. The staff are therefore very considerate and professional. Many thanks, therefore, to Annie and the friendly team on reception and to my consultant Fabrice for a good experience.

This machine-made wig by Noriko in a style called Carrie has been my favourite option these past 15 years and I have always worn it in dark browns similar to my natural hair. The "cappuccino" colour below has been a good shade, but I have preferred a slightly lighter "coffee latte" in recent years. This style frames my face well, has a natural look, a good length and playful flicks and curls. Maintenance is not too difficult either.

 

Although Carrie is still made, it's no longer available in these shades . Fabrice therefore suggested "ginger brown" as being quite close, and that is what I settled for. Here it is in the lighting at home. 

 

It does have a slightly reddish tinge to it. I'll have to see what it looks like in natural light in due course.

I'd value your honest opinions on this and on the other options below. I have been wanting to try something new, as I expressed earlier this year, something that contemporary women of my age prefer to opt for; or something more usual in the Mediterranean where I now live.

Fabrice suggested the following shorter and more layered style as being among the "contemporary women of my age" choices. It's also by Noriko and the style is called Briar.

 

As for the "Mediterranean option", I explained that I was looking for a much darker, much longer and more free-flowing style as you see in, say, Southern Italy or Spain (the sort of hair you dance a tarantella or clash castanets to! Music optional, of course.) You can see how tanned I am and we're only half way through the summer. At home now I've put the right shade of tights on, a much darker "suntan" than the shade I wore in London, and this is my current skin tone, as you can see by comparing it to my arms. I've had to go a shade darker in my foundation makeup, too. So I think I'd like a shade and style of hair that's found more often in my new location. (In a similar way to shoes: these are the cute, soft pink trainers I bought in London. Every London woman seems to be wearing something like this right now. But they're less visible in the Med where women still seem to prefer more traditional leather styles in winter and open styles in summer.)

 

So here is Fabrice's recommendation, Noriko's Angelica in the shade "espresso", the darkest brown, almost black. 

 

Fabrice felt this wig was too long and could do with trimming. I think the length is fine. 

So, my personal views on the three styles are these. The advantage of my current Carrie style is that it makes me look feminine, hiding more masculine features that I don't like. It's my "safe" style, dependable and appropriate. I am unsure of the shorter, layered Briar as it exposes too much of my not-so-feminine face, although the colour and style are right for women of my age in the 2020s. The long, dark Angelica is, in my view, just what I am looking for for that change to South European more natural free-at-heart femininity. 

These latter two have been noted by the hair salon but I am not going to buy them without being sure I want either, hence my asking opinions. Two female friends I showed these pictures to had some good advice but I'd appreciate honest views from you readers on all three styles, even negative ones.

Thank you.

Sue x