Antidotes to random chaos

 I mentioned last week that I expected to have to spend some time this summer looking after a relative of mine who went into hospital for an operation. Thanks to readers for their kind words about this. As it wasn't an emergency op but a fairly routine one and he was supposed to be home after a week, things have clearly gone badly wrong as he'll be in hospital for at least two months in all. There is the possibility that he may be housebound from now on, which will involve serious lifestyle changes. Fingers crossed that doesn't happen. 

As luck would have it, his girlfriend, who would normally be his main source of support, and tries to visit him every day, is also unwell and still weak from an op she had six months ago. Her daughter died at the same time and her son is now in hospital, too. As you can imagine, she's not in a happy frame of mind. 

There's not actually a lot we can do at the moment but wait for outcomes. So I have been trying to relax, avoid the stupid, mad news as much as possible and, as it's been a hot, fine week, I've been spending time in the outdoor swimming pools and in the lovely surrounding garden with its palms, cactuses, hibiscus and oleanders. And at home, various floaty and light floral skirts and dresses have been ideal. 

Music

Not everything in the blog is about trans matters. Last week I mentioned the passing of Brian Wilson and his influence on surf rock.  This week I pay tribute to Alfred Brendel who has just died and was one of the greatest pianists. 

The moment I heard the news I played one of his recordings of what has always been my very favourite piece of music since I first heard it aged 17, Beethoven's Fourth Piano Concerto, the most lyrical. Perhaps Beethoven's early biographer, Adolf Marx, in 1859, likening the soft plaintive piano and the insistent strings in the second movement to Orpheus pleading with the gods of the Underworld to return the soul of his dead spouse to the living seemed apt. 

Here's Brendel playing the "Funeral march on the death of a hero" from Beethoven's 12th piano sonata, another apt work, music that was later orchestrated and played at Beethoven's own funeral. 

If there were more musicians around to create and fewer "leaders" around to destroy, I think the world would be a much better place. Rest in peace, maestro, and thank you for your lifetime of dedication and mastery.

 

Sue x 

Bikini envy

 Well, it's not so much envy as bad dysphoria. What do you expect? There's a heatwave on and suddenly all the women are in their bikinis ... except me. And, unusually, I'm not coping too well with that. I don't tend to suffer much dysmorphia about my body, but all of a sudden it's hit me. Maybe a friend emailing about her successful GRS, with FFS also scheduled, didn't help either. Don't get me wrong; I'm thrilled for her, but it's a bit hard to handle all of a sudden. 

It'll pass. Like the ebb and flow of the tide, it comes and goes. 

Passionflowers in bloom seems an apt photo to post here. These are in the hedgerows in the lane behind home.

 

 

Surf rock 

Bikinis, summer, tides ... A number of people have blogged, commented and paid tribute to Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys who passed away last week. If you are into surf rock and ultra-cute sixties outfits then, depending on how much gender dysphoria you are currently experiencing, you may like/hate to visit the Surfrajettes website and YouTube channel. Beehives, matching minidresses, white go-go boots and, as they put it, "eyeliner as thick as their guitar strings". 

I'd like the talent just to look that good, let alone play music! 

 

The good stuff

Times are not good for the trans community in many parts of the world. Here in Italy they are mixed but I'd just like to pay tribute again to two sources of strength. 

One is Elle Italia women's fashion magazine that resolutely supports the trans and broader queer community. Every other week there is an article on trans topics, e.g. how a parent should listen to their trans child; an interview with a trans person; life as a drag queen (see photo); and this week several articles supporting Pride. Thanks to Elle for positive allyship.

 

Pride itself seems to be attracting more and more support. Either people feel safer coming out or they feel the community needs more clout. Our regional Liguria Pride in the regional capital Genova at the weekend increased its attendance from 35,000 last year to 40,000 this year, despite the high temperatures. 

Liguria Pride 2025 in Via XX Settembre, Genova, the regional capital's answer to London's Oxford Street. ( ©facebook.com/CoordinamentoLiguriaRainbow )

 

An impressive turnout, one to be proud of. Sorry I couldn't be there. (But a wig in that heat? Hmm.)

Have a good week, all.

Sue x 

Smooth or not for summer?

 It's time for the annual dilemma: should I get rid of all body hair for the summer season, with the annoyance of then having to epilate every day; or just let nature do its thing, meaning no full-on fem time for the next three months? 

I mean, I don't have to go to the pool or the beach ...

Yeah, I do have to go. What's the point of living in a seaside resort if you don't do seaside things? Besides, the temperatures have rocketed to 32C this afternoon when normally they should be 25C in early June. It could be another very hot summer to come. Which doesn't help when you have to wear a wig or wear makeup.

I will also have to spend time looking after a relative who's sick. He went to hospital a month ago and should have been out after a week but because of complications he's still there. I don't know what painkillers they're giving him but when I saw him earlier this week he was lucid and exhausted one day but stronger yet raving the next. Scary. He'll be needing help with shopping and household things for a while after he's back home and I've agreed to do that alongside his girlfriend. He doesn't notice much in terms of whether I am hairy or not and hasn't spotted that my clothes are all of a feminine cut. Mind you, neither did my LGBT-hating sister when I saw her last month and even complimented me on my shoes (ladies' trainers). People see what they expect to see.

My other sister gave me a shiny new set of barbecue tools and they are already in use. Well, it's Friday night and it's 32C, and my simple white Dorothy Perkins vest top and Baby Angel black denim shorts are ideal for the occasion. Every moment of fem time is so precious.

 

I do like to be beside the seaside 

Here's a shot I took from my most recent flight, of the famous Seven Sisters cliffs and Beachy Head in Southern England. It was a bit hazy that day but it still made a spectacular sight. Click to enlarge.

 

Enjoy the summer, wherever you are and whatever you're doing. 

Sue x 

Uniforms: there's short, and then there's regulation micro!

On British Airways last week I noticed that the uniform is now, well, less than uniform. The hemlines vary enormously in length, the shoes in height and the tights seem to be any shade and thickness. It's obviously a change from the very strict dress code they and many airlines seem to have had in the past with everything coming from specific designer(s) and sources. My T-dar is constantly alert to changing styles (even though I often wear the same boring old stuff myself!) Frankly, airline hostess is not a job I'd ever want to do myself. Love the look, hate the job.

The other uniform style that was more uniform but in a way that worried me was all the schoolgirls in London seeming to have tiny microskirts as regulation school uniform. I cannot possibly criticise others for wearing impossibly short skirts in public without being a monster hypocrite as I have myself been seen in public in items that hardly suit women of my age (see below)! But I do worry about underage girls getting the wrong kind of attention given the troubles in that regard at my own school. Maybe that's just my bad experience talking. But I hope today's teenagers are safe. Yes, I firmly believe anyone should wear what they want and be left in peace to do so but, sadly, realities are what they are. 

As I waited for a bus on a typical June morning in London, where a cold thin wind blew the drizzle about, the schoolgirl on the hard slanting seat next to mine at the shelter shivered in her regulation microskirt, goosebumps at attention. Personally, I've never once worn a skirt without tights but, anyway, this bare-leg microskirt look seems to be the norm among the uniformed young in the UK whatever the weather. Good luck.

My final observation is that UK female police and nurse uniforms are pretty universally geared to trousers. Practical, no doubt, but maybe my British friends can now enlighten me, since I haven't seen British TV for years, as to what British comedy is doing now without emergency service staff in short uniforms and stockings? That was once a staple of British comedy. 

 

A dip in the archives 

I go short in public (or: nice legs, shame about the face):

 

 

Crazy hair and crazy tights

Sue x

A case full of lace

 I got back home yesterday with two very large suitcases, one of which had my everyday boring fem clothes and the other had all sorts of cute and fun stuff. 

I selected the second caseful from out of the 18 boxes of girl clothes in my deposit in London. Those boxes contain everything from winter coats to summer bikinis but unexpected things can happen when you open them. Previously a gel-filled bra exploded, but this time a bizarre pair of extra-extra frilly knickers with more lace than pant, that were made specially for me by a fan of such items, frothed and floated to the top of the lingerie box. Since the friend who made them has now transitioned and may well be embarrassed at her previous frilly knicker phase, I won't describe them further but I brought them home in case there's some cosplay project that might use them. I've no idea what!

But it was good to pick up some favourite skirts, and the much-loved dress I wore in Scotland last year, several pairs of very sheer tights for summer as well as some fancy hosiery, a never-worn burlesque ra-ra skirt, red with black lace, for party times (or if I fulfil my showgirl dreams) - pictured below -, comfy leggings, tops, lingerie, and fun accessories, including the elbow-length spider-web gloves and matching tights I missed for my Hallowe'en outfit last year but which went down a storm at the Magic Ballroom. 

I also found a pretty black lace bra and panty set that I had totally forgotten I bought and is so comfortable that I cannot believe I forgot all about it. 

Very pretty and really comfortable to wear

My case also contained lots of new lingerie and nightwear I bought - I do recommend Marks & Spencer for such items. Yes, I have far too many things, I know, but they do get worn, and worn out. I threw away a pair of cream-coloured high-heeled sandals that were scuffed and coming unstuck in parts. It's a pity as I have fond memories of wearing those in summer, often at the Sparkle national trans celebration, but what's broken needs to go.

Gone but not forgotten

 

You may think a whole case of pretty clothes excessive given the cost of luggage on airlines these days, but I dress every day and stuff that I know and love is precious to me so I'm happy with that.

I have something to say about airline uniforms and about very short skirts and I know those are subjects of great interest to many, but I'm still tired from the trip so I'll close here and discuss those topics another time. Have a great weekend.

Sue x 

Facing

 I've been internet-free for a week and it's actually been good not to have the endless dismal news and usual messages to deal with. I've been travelling and dealing with legal and administrative things. 

More on the interesting and trans aspects of my travels when I have more time but I'm posting briefly today because I managed to see the sculpture currently on the Fourth Plinth in London's famous Trafalgar Square. I wrote about this under the subheading "Art (1)" here last autumn. Despite all the anti-trans activities of current and past UK governments, there in London's main square is a vast tribute to trans people made from hundreds of clay masks of their faces, including one of my friend Grace whom I have seen on this trip. She thinks hers is on the side facing the National Gallery (photo 1). 

Round the corner, the National Portrait Gallery has a huge poster outside of award-winning artist Grayson Perry as his feminine alter ego, Claire. 

Trans visibility could hardly be more visible. 

Here are my photos:

Click to enlarge

My trip to the UK ends next Wednesday.

Sue x