A number of people commented on my sister having become an anti-LGBT campaigner in my last post, so I guess I should go into more detail.
As mentioned before on this blog, my family are all very religious. Or rather, they are religious fundamentalists, and their faith is not actually very mainstream. They are pretty bigoted and intolerant of many things because their god disapproves. I left their religion over 20 years ago and barely speak to my parents now, partly because of that but mainly because of my father’s violent threats and his race hate that is really horrible to hear. They don’t know I’m trans (not as an adult, anyway) because I fear abuse and, even worse, their attempts to convert me back to ‘the right path’ again.
My sister was telling me of a new group she’s joined within her religion. “It’s my job to deal with the lugbutts.”
“Who on earth are the lugbutts?” I asked.
“You know, those LGBT people. Lg-bts or lugbutts. They are extremely rich and they use their money to catch out religious tradespeople by ordering things that the trader can’t, in all conscience, provide [presumably double-bed hotel rooms for gay couples or cakes with pro-gay slogans]. They also use their wealth to influence the politicians and schools to corrupt and brainwash people. This turns impressionable people away from reality so children end up saying that they’re not really boys or girls but the other, or you end up with boys dating boys or girls dating girls.
"If your genes are boy genes,” she pronounced, “then you’re a boy. I mean, dur! isn't that obvious? These lugbutts are really persecuting so many people and damaging Britain and I feel really threatened.”
What … the … hell…? Apart from the fact that my sister has never had a boyfriend or been in a relationship, so interfering with others’ relationships is pretty hypocritical, it’s also pretty vile when persecutors project their own behaviour onto others and yet claim to be victims.
And there was me in front of her wearing women’s shoes and socks (though very unisex).
I put her right on genetics, but I really do now give up on anything but a nominal relationship with my family. It’s a sad choice – they’re obviously the closest people to me – but her insane, nasty, ignorant rant has made that choice easier.
Many trans people have a difficult time with families but I do wonder if I didn’t pick one of the very shortest straws here, and I feel very distressed about it.
So, my dear fellow lugbutts, we just have to keep on being ourselves, being visible and, sadly, combating this sort of ignorance and prejudice.
Sue x
Lugbutts unite and take over. If only Morrissey would let us borrow his tune. :-)
ReplyDeleteIt's a shame your sister feels the need to behave in this way. Being LGBTQ isn't a choice, bigotry is. Some distant relatives of the Jones Massive are unpleasant bigoted homophobic racist asshat. They also ran a mainstream church for a time. On the other hand, my sister is a minister and is completely fine with LGBTQI people. In her words, "these are exactly the people we should welcome." For clarity, it's not conversion, but letting them and encouraging them to worship if they want to.
On related note, many years ago I was a wedding up in Yorks. A young lad said "I don't like what gay folk get up to. Makes me feel odd."
The bloke at the bar turned to him and in lovely burr said "Then don't think about it." ;-)
Thanks for your thoughtful and interesting reply, Lynn. I'm glad your sister is a more considerate kind of believer, and evidently somewhat better informed. I don't know if she's aware that you are trans. I guess that, being female and more inclusive she's Church of England, which is mainstream of course but also more welcoming on the whole of LGBTQI people - several of my trans and gay friends worship in the Church of England, some having moved there from less welcoming denominations.
DeleteI've never wanted to post the full history of my trans life and my family's religion as I still find it distressing, but maybe doing so will be cathartic and also explain the problem we face from religious bigots.
Thanks for your friendship. We can't choose our family so friends are often more spiritually uplifting.
Sue x
The reasons for my reluctance to enter the wider world are prosaic,so my admiration for you, Sue, simply soars as it becomes clear the family background you have to deal with. I'm happy to be identified as a lugbutt, or even a lugbutti (although that sounds too much like something to eat!)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nikki. My transness has always been a very strong and defining part of me, although I have stopped short of transition. Yet despite the fear of divine wrath instilled in me, my trans nature won out in the end and I had to live as much as possible in the gender role that nature seems to have intended.
DeleteLugbutts of the world unite!
Sue x