Thursday, 28 October 2021

Bobby Sox - a tribute

 I am very sad to have to write that my friend Bobby Sox has passed away.

Bobby was one of the first TGirls I ever met and she and her wife Sandy were regularly to be seen at trans clubs and events: Pink Punters, Sparkle, Leeds First Friday ...

I borrowed the above photo, and the one below, from her blog as I think they show her very much as she was: slender, rich hair, body-hugging dress, bare legs and peep-toe heels that made her even taller, standing in the garden that she so loved. 


She took a lot of care over her appearance, which was always striking, with her hallmark dresses and killer heels. See Bobby's picture page, which is a tribute to a TGirl who developed a winning look: Bobby's picture page

As a person I found her humane, calm, witty and friendly but also very determined, putting up with no nonsense and feeling strongly about injustice. The way she fought cancer was typical and she outlived the predictions of the doctors, whom she found less than caring. Her main worry about dying was the messed-up wider world her wife and son were going to inherit. She certainly had things to say when Facebook questioned her name and authenticity! I found her calm thinking helpful when I was beset by online trolls once. 

She'd built a good life from hard beginnings and the garden at her last home in Wales ("Sox Cottage") was obviously a delight to her. She always referred to the nature around her when she wrote her blog. 

Bobby did leave her blog up in the end. Do read her thoughts and adventures and enjoy the photos of her trips out, her garden and her fabulous outfits: The Bobbysox Blog

Bobby called her wife Sandy her soulmate and their closeness was clear. Sandy often joined Bobby on her jaunts and we could not want a better trans ally, kind friend or such good company. My heart goes out to Sandy at this time.

I have missed Bobby for some years - she was left much less mobile by her illness - but I kept in touch with her. We last exchanged a few words in August when she was enjoying her birthday present of a foot spa. Sandy's message to me about Bobby having passed away was sent a month ago but I missed it till yesterday thanks to spam filters - the algorithm wins again. Bobby would have had something to say about that! 

Just two photos from my collection showing Bobby in her other natural element: socialising with other TGirls.

With Bobby at the Angels Lunch during Sparkle 2011

Bobby presides at the head of the table. With JJ, Maddy and Jo.

No regular dip in the archives this time as I want this post to be about my friend. I am very sad and I miss you, Bobby. Thank you for so many good times.

Sue x


  1. Thanks for sharing your memories of Bobbi. She was all of the things you mentioned, as well as kind and thoughtful. I have fond memories of her sharing her experiences as we got changed at Nottingham Chameleons.

    A good soul, bless her ❤️

    1. Thanks, Lynn. I don't know anyone who didn't enjoy her company and benefit from her friendship. Sue x

  2. Never met her or saw her site, but I share your sadness...

    Big hugs,

  3. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.