Summary of 2012

This time last year I was on top of the world (see here http://suerichmond.blogspot.co.uk/2011/12/summing-up-2011.html). Indeed, 2010 and 2011, as I emerged as a debutante TGirl into the world, were probably the happiest and most amazing years of my life. This year, by contrast, has been very mixed.

On the plus side, most of my close long-term friends now know that I am trans and have been hugely supportive. That’s been a real source of comfort, relief and happiness and means I can just be myself. I’ve had no problems at all out in public. Indeed, everywhere I go people are welcoming and treat me as a normal human being. (And why not? I treat others with respect, so they return it. Human nature is predominantly decent.) The recent art show demonstrated how I can be officially recognised.

Publicity for the "Diffraction" art show.

I’ve got to know two new groups of girls, the Nottingham Invaders and the Brick Lane Set. I knew the Invasion bossladies, Maddy and Samantha, and several other girls in the area already, but they’ve created a superb monthly night out in Nottingham city centre. I think it works better than other places because there is no ghetto, just ordinary venues (yes, a couple of gay pubs, but mainly everyday clubs). London’s Brick Lane girls at the Verge Bar are also good company, and are obviously somewhat closer to home.

Brick Lane's Verge Bar

Nottingham Invasion

There have been the thoroughly enjoyable rounds of eating out, shopping, theatre, cinema, travelling and having a great time with friends. And even just everyday stuff. Somehow, life is nicer as a woman. I absolutely love stage shows of all kinds and there have been some delights this year.

Trannyshack

Funny Girls

The Hurly Burly Show

I’ve been helping girls dress and do their make up in my home, which has been a bit of a learning experience. Sadly, I've had to give up on a couple of friends, but in compensation I have made a large number of new friends and continued to enjoy the company of older ones. My friends are my joy and I love them to bits. There's always room for many more.

See, TGirls have lots of fun!

I’ve also been pleased that people seem to enjoy this blog. Thanks for reading. I try to keep it entertaining and humorous, and with illustrations rather than just prose. I’ve been enjoying other people’s blogs, too. (I’ll see if in my technological rubbishness I can get my favourite blogs list on the front page rather than you having to click on my profile to see them.)

The other thing to comment on is what an incredibly exciting place London has been this year, largely because of the Jubilee and the Olympics and many new constructions, from the Shard to the cable car. It’s a phenomenal city and its spirit lifts me.

Jubilee pageant

Olympic men's marathon

Thames skyline at night

Now the bad bit. A black cloud has been created by the malice of a number of self-appointed ‘activists’ who sprayed their hate everywhere mid-year. It seems any person who fancies it can set themselves up as a know-all trans leader and dictate the terms under which other trans people shall live, with violence to reinforce the message. I once used to provide workplace bullying advice in a national trade union but I have never seen abuse, control freakery and bullying like this. The hatred exuded by some trans people is in contrast to the acceptance and kindness of just about all the non-trans people I’ve met. This malice has been a source of anguish to me this year. It’s made me wish that I hadn’t bothered coming out, and made me fear the future. I didn’t go to the London Pride or Brighton Pride events this year because I felt ashamed of being in any way associated with this brutality, and I have stopped organising lunches under the Angels name as I feel in danger. I am still giving thought on how to deal with this as my resources and experience have actually failed me on this one, but I am just glad that the majority of trans people are decent and I’m grateful to my many friends for their love and support over this. I do feel it will be a while before I feel properly happy and at ease again. In any case, clearly I will have to take a new direction in future. I’m sad to put this so strongly, but some things cannot be pussyfooted around.

Anyway, back to the positives. I hope you have a fun new year’s eve, whatever you’re doing. Proper New Year’s greetings tomorrow, and a new up-to-date avatar (exciting, eh?).

Love

Sue x

Happy Christmas to all

Wishing all my readers a very happy Christmas. Here's hoping Santa brings you that lovely little something you've always craved. Don't overdo the eating and drinking now!

Love,

Sue x

Apocalyptic Lurgy

I've been in bed all week with the lurgy. I think I'm lucky in that I rarely get so sick that I have to take to my bed, but I can't recall being this ill for a great many years. (OK, so I'm not in bed at this precise moment as I type, but you know what I mean.) I'm hoping it'll be all gone by Christmas Day.

This is very annoying because it's not only messed up my work for the week but it's also messed up my Xmas shopping and other preparations. But above all, I'm very disappointed at missing the Nottingham Invasion tonight which promised to be a good one, especially as friends I haven't seen in a while are going. Boo!

It wouldn't have mattered if the world had come to an end today (as promised by the Mayans). What a disappointment! Nothing exciting ever happens round here!

Hoping that normal service will be resumed before long.

Sue x

Nostalgia trip to Pink Punters

My first public appearance as a nervous debutante was almost three years ago, at Pink Punters. I hadn’t revisited this well-known LGBT club on the edge of Milton Keynes for almost two years so I thought that a nostalgic return was appropriate now that I have achieved so much as a TGirl. Besides, many of my friends were going to be there, which was the main reason for going.

I decided, partly for convenience and partly, I think, from an increasing feeling of relaxation over my trans status, to travel to and from Milton Keynes in male mode. For the last couple of years I have travelled to trans events in female mode. There are reasons for this switch, which I might bore you with in a different post.

I started with lunch and a quick trip round Milton Keynes’ vast shopping centre with Tiff and Mrs Tiff, who kindly picked me up from the station. I restocked on ballet flats as my others have been all worn out now on the unforgiving pavements of London.

Impressive Christmas grotto in Milton Keynes shopping centre.

Then to the Campanile hotel opposite the club where I showered, shaved, did my makeup and nails and hair, and dressed, all in a leisurely two hours (compared to the same taking over four hours on my first trip there).

Because of the trouble and expense of dining away from the hotel we dared to eat dinner there. The food used to be fairly poor but it has improved and my dinner was good enough, though the few staff were hard-pressed in the crowded bar/dining room to maintain quick service. Anyway, it was nice to chat to old friends Ange, Tiff and Mrs Tiff, Maddy, Bobby and Mrs Bobby over dinner and meet new people such as Gina, whose recent rapid foray into the world is impressive, and Emma H and Mrs Emma, who know where to get some fabulous rings. I also caught up with Leila (who travelled with me and Emma W to this year’s Sparkle). All these girls have the most fabulous dresses imaginable, and wear them beautifully. I’m going to have to up my game considerably if I want to remain on the scene!

Dining at the Campanile with Ange, the first TGirl I ever met.

I changed outfit for the club. It too is having a change of look, but is still essentially the same, with its outside bar/seating/smoking area, quieter top bar, main dancefloor in the middle and killer dance area in the basement. Apparently there are new changing rooms and toilets, but I didn't see those (I have camel genes and don't use the loo). £8 entry, and drinks not too overpriced for a club. So many locals attend Pink Punters even though it’s billed as an LGBT club, which shows it must be a good venue. For me, it’s a place to meet up with other TGirls and view the latest in tranny chic. Very short tight dresses and stockings are unlikely to go out of fashion here, hence my choosing a short lace dress and suspender tights.

Being the Girls’ Big Night Out it was packed with TGirls, more than I have seen before there. It was good to meet Josie there, back from abroad, and meet her wife for the first time, and also Maddy’s friend Zoe Marie. I’m glad I stuck to drinking water throughout as they have installed a variety of heaters and the outside fire is bigger than ever, with the result that it was actually pretty hot there and my wig now smells of coal smoke.

So, in all, another enjoyable evening catching up with friends and admiring frocks and discussing big issues such as the merits of tights over stockings.

I now really, really want to get to the Nottingham Invasion this month. Will time and money conspire against it? Watch this space, I guess.

Sue x

The crazy time of year

Christmas madness is upon us. December is the busiest time of year work-wise (for me), and it's also the time when you have to shop a lot, send cards, prepare for the 25th and go to loads of parties and lunches. I'm not work shy and I love a good meal with friends, but it does get wearing when about a third of the year's activities have all to be crammed into the three weeks before Christmas Day. I'm exhausted already and feeling very fat!

And hence the neglect of the blog for a bit.

However, forthcoming highlights include a night out at Pink Punters at the end of this week and, of course, lots of girly shopping (I always buy myself a Christmas gift of some posh tights and some jewellery.)

The lovely Lynn Jones has challenged me to complete a questionnaire about trans life, which is nearly done and which I will put here as soon as I can.

In the meantime, my little project to photograph the best of London's winter lights is under way. Here's a taster: the Old Vic theatre looking lovely, with its Christmas tree.

Sue x

London's Ladies Wot Lunch

I’m pleased to say that yesterday I organised one of my long, lazy Sunday lunches for friends in the London area and it was really enjoyable. It was the first I’d done for six months, and the delay was due to the trolling and troubles I’d had in the spring and summer, which rather put me off the T world. I’m glad, therefore, that this went so well, although I just invited friends this time rather than advertised it generally online.

We met at the Cambridge pub right in the heart of London. A hundred years ago, Piccadilly Circus was the “hub of the universe” but things fashionable have shifted half a mile north east to Cambridge Circus where Shaftesbury Avenue and Charing Cross Road meet. Once a bit shabby, apparently the setting for the “Circus” of Le Carré’s character George Smiley (the “octagonal room” is above the bank opposite the pub), it’s now where today’s liveliest West End quarters all meet: Soho, Seven Dials, Chinatown, St Giles.

The Cambridge, which does stand out on the thoroughfare, is a transitional sort of pub, the kind of place you pop into for a quick drink on your way to the theatre or home from work. Only when there’s a major sports event do people tend to linger in the bar, which is not that large. But the dining room upstairs is comfortable and quiet, and the food is good and plentiful. The fact that my pal Joanne is team leader there is beside the point! Well, not really.

http://www.nicholsonspubs.co.uk/thecambridgecambridgecircuslondon/

So ten of us met up there for lunch at a leisurely pace and caught up with each others’ news: Helena had just been to the Hyper Japan show, and Stella to the Enigma Ball; we reminisced about our TGirl bar exactly a year ago at Olympia. Ann and Stephanie had been enjoying shopping at Westfield. I was seeing Tina for the first time since Sparkle, and Rachel of the Brick Lane Set was making her first (I think) foray into the West End. Just pleasant conversation all round over roast dinner with attentive, cheerful service from the staff. Splitting into two tables makes conversation easier (and dealing with the bill).

Pictures? Oh yes, got to have pictures:

The Dolls' Table. l-r: Stephanie, Ann, me, Mrs Stella, Stella, Helena. Hurry up and take the pic, my pudding's melting! (And just to point out, in case you think I'm a greedy pig, that in fact the others had ordered and eaten their puds long before me!)

The Cuties' Table: Tina, Rachel, Irene, Ange.

Afterwards, as evening drew on, Irene, Rachel, Tina and me wandered through Seven Dials into Covent Garden to do a bit of pre-Christmas window shopping. These areas are really beautiful before Christmas with lights and worthwhile decorations. We ended the day with a quiet drink at my favourite watering hole, the upstairs Opera Room bar at the Chandos pub just off Trafalgar Square.

At Seven Dials monument with Irene and Tina.

Covent Garden markets before Christmas

Irene's got some nice photos of the evening on her Flickr pages: http://www.flickr.com/photos/irene-michaela/with/8220642052/#photo_8220642052

I’d just add that going out as a TGirl in London is a totally affirming experience. Not only do you get served like any normal paying customer but staff in places like Accessorise and Kurt Geiger treat you very well. I was delighted also that the railway staff organising rail replacement buses called me “love” when I asked them for help.

Will probably try to do another such lunch in January.

Sue x

My Tights

Last week, MyTights.Com sent me their autumn catalogue. For a hosiery enthusiast like me this is a droolfest.

It's reminded me of a day years ago when I had reason to visit a company in Battersea. I was unable to locate the company office in the rambling building so I popped my head round an open door to ask for directions. That open office door happened to belong to My Tights and the girls there in their pretty hosiery and the posters on the walls of flawless legs in gorgeous designs were a joy to behold. For a moment I thought I had stuck my head through the gates of heaven!

One day I'll post about my hosiery collection and maybe even show you my tights cupboard, but for now I just wanted to say how much I've enjoyed buying from this company over many years. They're not necessarily the cheapest option but they are very efficient and their site is well constructed so you can find what you're looking for by brand or style or denier. Their enquiry service (by email or phone) is good and they are very friendly towards transvestites. They even help men buying for their womenfolk (or alleged womenfolk!). There are plenty of other online hosiery stores, but somehow I feel happiest here.

Here's a link to their site.

http://www.mytights.com/ [Update 27/3/25: This link now leads to the site of UK Tights, which took over My Tights. I don't recall ever using UK Tights so am not able to say how the two companies compare.]

NB Stop Press! There happens to be a "flash sale" today, Fri 23 Nov, only. 25% off everything till midnight. Type BLACKFRIDAY at the checkout.

I'll be browsing carefully there as I look for my annual Christmas treat for myself.

Enjoy.

Sue x

ADD 24/11 The three items I ordered yesterday at about 4pm arrived this morning at around 9. That's efficiency! 

"Birthday"

November 18th is my birthday.

Actually, it’s not officially my birthday, but it’s the day I choose to celebrate my T birth. Not that it marks an anniversary, it’s just the day that it is. Anyway, Queen Elizabeth II has two birthdays and I’m something of an old queen, too, so I don’t see why I shouldn’t do the same.

Well, that’s enough justification!

Unfortunately, things did clash a bit this year with Nottingham Invasion and family stuff so I plan to have a bit of a party next weekend. But on Sunday I met up for lunch with a friend at the very good Rocca di Papa Italian restaurant in the Old Brompton Road. This place is good: excellent food at very good prices. The pizzas are superb. On this occasion I had calamari – whole chopped calamari, not those rubber rings you often get served –, lasagne with lots of meat and delicious, creamy mango sorbet. The staff are nice. Recommended.

This was followed by a trip to Kensington Odeon to see The Master, a film with outstanding reviews that, actually, wasn’t all that great, I felt. Oh well, it made for a relaxing day.

Next Sunday it’ll be a big TGirl lunch at the Cambridge in the West End, which I haven’t done for a while.

Anyway, here’s a picture of Katy Perry’s mermaid dress in the window of Christie’s in the Old Brompton Road (estimated value £2,000-£3,000). I want, especially as I have had no cards or presents so far. And it’s better value than Madonna’s Jean-Paul Gaultier conical bustier at £15,000 also on view there.

Sue x

PS  There's now a photo of me and my friends at Nolia's on the "On Public View" post, and links to Verge bar and Carole's Flickr pages have been added to other recent posts.

The Brick Lane Set

No, not some inter-war literary group, but an evident group of TGirls who associate in the Verge bar on the corner of Brick Lane and Bethnal Breen Road, London E2. I’ve previously described an evening in the area back in August http://suerichmond.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/brick-lane.html

Verge's website is here [Update 27/3/25: both the website and the bar have closed; I've not kept the redundant link here, which I usually do for interest's sake, as it now leads to an 'escort' site!]

Now, Stephanie’s lovely photo of that evening has disappeared behind the Wall of Censorship of the Lords of Flickr because she has had the temerity and perverted shamelessness to show her stocking tops on occasion. So, as I believe in freedom of expression, I am posting our picture here and I don’t care what the world says. Those of a Victorian disposition should look away now.

Brick Lane, August 2012, with Gillian (left) and Stephanie (right). Photo by Stephanie.

Shocking, huh? This is a great photo: we're all in, all smiling, great perspective, and a blend of soft pastel tones of our clothes contrasting with bright neon lights.

Anyway, I went back there a few weeks ago, again at the invitation of lovely Rachel Cole, and met up with Stevie, Helen, Mandy, Margaret and Denise. It’s a fairly mixed crowd in the bar and generally quite relaxed. The music's not too loud so you can have a conversation. On that occasion we ate dinner at Carluccio’s in Spital Square, an offputting name under the circumstances! An edible interlude before returning to Verge.

A bottle of pinot grigio. It wasn't all for me. Verge Bar, October 2012

And last night, at Stephanie’s invitation, I met up at Verge with her, Ann Drogyny and Jessee from Brisbane. It was the first outing for the black dress with sheer sleeves that my nice pal Carole gave me, and is warm and comfortable as well as looking nice (I think). 

Girls in smart dresses. Sue in black, Ann in red. Verge Bar, November 2012

Brick Lane is the curry centre of London but, frankly, we just get seduced by the first curry tout to grab us (instead of playing the touts off against each other) and are always hauled into City Spice, being the first of the cheek-by-jowl Indian restaurants there. Actually, the food’s not bad and the white wine was chilled (unlike August’s red which was close to boiling point!). Anyway, the wine is free for the likes of us!

Jess, Ann, me and Steph outside City Spice, November 2012.

I must ask the name of our curry tout next time. Not only does he get the punters in (at a well-rehearsed discount rate) but occasionally he pops in to clear and set tables, and takes good photos too! 

We wobbled back over the cobbles to Monty’s, a decent enough cocktail bar on Brick Lane that’s again quite relaxed and bright. I assure you we had fruit juice this time. http://www.viewlondon.co.uk/pubsandbars/montys-bar-and-lounge-info-60982.html [Update 27/3/25: That site now redundant; try this: https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g186338-d10723144-Reviews-Monty_s_Bar_Lounge_Brick_Lane-London_England.html

So this seems to be where the London T set is hanging out these days, partly because of the Adam and Eve dressing service nearby. But, knowing our interests, there are lots of eating and drinking places one after the other there, so it's easy to have a decent night out without straining oneself! And the brand new East London Line extension, now part of the Overground (a new name for old lines) with its recently built Shoreditch High Street station is right there.

Thanks to Rachel and Steph for inviting me, and to all the other girls there who make it such fun.

Sue x

On public view

Last week, as mentioned below, some of my paintings, consisting of portraits of TGirls, were on display at a public art show. It being my first official public engagement, as it were, it was important as the world now knows I’m out there.

Success was mixed. The show and my part in it did not go quite as expected for various complicated reasons which I won’t go into. The private view on the Saturday night was quite well attended, though, and I was delighted to welcome half a dozen of my T-girlfriends and meet other artists and people I know.

Nolia’s Gallery is downstairs from Nolia’s 11 jazz café in Stamford Street just behind the Oxo Tower on London’s vibrant South Bank. So after looking at the works on display we went to the beautiful top level conservatory with its glass roof, palms, piano, artworks and cocktail bar. Food is a mix of Malay and French and we enjoyed sharing a variety of dishes. You get the idea from their website here www.nolias11.com. [Update 27/3/25: Redundant link; Nolia's appears to have closed now] There’s some idle talk of Nolia’s having the potential to become the replacement for Lola’s, a T club that is no more and is much missed.

I hope I can put up a few pictures of the event if my friends are willing to share. My camera went phut, which for a TGirl is a bit like a pacemaker breakdown!

ADD 20/11: Thanks to Stella for this pic:

At Nolia's conservatory bar with (l-r) Petra, Annabelle, Joanne, me, Irene, Ange.

Thanks also to Maddy who ‘modelled’ for me. Her portrait is now on the art website here http://suerichmondart.blogspot.co.uk/p/gallery.html. Unfortunately I was unwell in the week before the show and couldn’t complete a couple of items that might otherwise have been displayed but thanks also to Joanne and other girls who volunteered to be painted.

I think one day the aim is to have a large collection of TGirl portraits on display, just to show that we are human and beautiful. Previous enquiries about showing my paintings at the Sparkle national transgender celebration were inconclusive, so further thought is necessary.

Thanks to Daniela for organising and Nolia for hosting and to Ange, Joanne, Irene, Petra, Stella and Annabelle for coming, especially on a weekend with so much else happening.

Sue x