I have gone to the big city for the week, a long way from the coastal town where I have been living quietly since Covid erupted. This is to do various administrative things which can only be done in my official name and so I am in unmistakeable male mode - a rare thing these days.
Today, on seeing crowds of women in the streets and on transport going about their lives, the gender dysphoria struck me more fiercely than it has done in a very long time. This is all wrong, I thought, I am all wrong, I am one of them and not the man they require me to be. I actually felt a bit ill.
Dysphoria can crop up any time and varies in strength but I guess the power of the feeling today was caused by the sudden contrast after 18 months away from the crowds, and the claustrophobia of being forced to be male. Ouch! It hurt.
A dip in the archives
Desperate to be as feminine as possible now. Like ...
Sue x
Bah humbug to dysphoria! I hope it goes quickly and you're doing back to your regular, lovely self. ❤️
ReplyDeleteAw, thank you for your kind words, dear Lynn. Somewhat better now (I treated myself to some new makeup!) Sue x
DeleteAh, something to help us feel ourselves. Enjoy!
Delete