Preparing for my transphobic sister's visit

 My sister is coming to visit next week. I haven't seen her since a chance encounter in London in 2019, but not really since 2017 when she shocked me by revealing just how anti-LGBT her religious group requires her to be. I wrote about that discussion here: Hello, lugbutts.

I'm removing all signs in my home that I might not be the boy she thinks: things like flowers, chick lit, perfumes, feminine ornaments and so on. This creates a gender neutral backdrop on which to tackle the subject.

Years ago, I used to have a job investigating fraudsters. I'm trying to recall my interview techniques from that time but they boil down to not asking a question to which you do not already know the answer. I think John Le Carré says something similar in one of his spy books. 

The reason for this approach is that I think her religious group are not just unpleasant but even extreme and potentially criminal. If I find that she or they are, as I suspect, into continuing conversion therapy, or have been jamming LGBT switchboards with abusive calls (as has happened of late), or are harassing people, then I will need to consider involving LGBT organisations, the police or other authorities to monitor their activity. Fanatics don't care for rights, laws or people and my sister has said she'll go to jail for her beliefs. Maybe that's just bravado, or maybe a real threat. I intend to probe this further with as much subtlety as I can. My only fear is that I will be so disgusted that I lose my temper.

You may say that blood is thicker than water and one shouldn't investigate one's own family in such a way. But I would say that when you have been subject to as much abuse, fear and threats as I have from this cultlike family faith, then I think both I and society and the trans community deserve better. I can appreciate that if you had a family member or spouse who was a thief or conman of some kind, or into gang violence or whatever, you might hesitate. But cultism and fanaticism destroy lives in their entirety as they do not attack material possessions, money or even the body, which are replaceable, insurable or healable, but they aim to destroy or control very essence of another person. 

I may be wrong - and I hope I am - about this being a long-term problem rather than just a blip when I last saw her. I wasn't this concerned back then as trans rights were improving and religious nuts were on the back foot but now we are under threat and I don't want these unpleasant groups getting the upper hand. Besides, this is my family and I think it's primarily my responsibility to deal with them, at least in the first instance.

Wish me luck and composure.

Gardening

My garden is a mess and the plants have all dropped seeds in each others' pots and everything seems to be mixed up now. But it's not been a good couple of months, especially with the high winds and low rainfall we've had, and so I've designated tomorrow as garden day. I've bought a new barbecue as traditionally Easter Monday is family barbecue day in Italy. 

So, burgers or sausages? That's the burning question!

Easter weekend

Wishing everyone a good easter break. Enjoy the chocolate! As well as a pretty egg, like the one I loved last year, I've also got a colomba, which is a traditional light Italian easter cake in the form of a dove (well, vaguely).

 Sue x