Home for winter

 I'm back home in Italy now after a very smooth journey from England. Every train was on time and none were crowded.

It was an exhausting month in Britain. I'm somewhat disabled after an injury at work in 2001 and all the physical activity in moving and sorting personal possessions was especially hard. After I arrived in Paris last night, I decided to have a little lie down on the bed before looking for somewhere to eat. This was about 6:30pm. The next thing I knew it was 2am, so I just switched off the light and slept on till the alarm woke me. 13 hours sleep in all! That pretty much sums up how tiring it's been.

It's a pity I wasn't able to arrange any meetups with my trans friends as I had hoped might be possible but there was too much to do. I did manage to get to the two trans positive exhibitions I mentioned, though. 

The benefit is I do have a lot more of my own clothes and jewellery again so I hope to have more confidence to start taking selfies again. I'm not happy that I broke just about every nail I have whilst doing all this activity, and some more than once, but they will regrow. The great thing is I've not put on much weight, despite losing control of my diet whilst away.

I'll return to Britain in the spring. For now, I'm wintering on the riviera where it's much milder and drier. The fog and rain there were in Chester all last week are OK in small doses, but the cold, grey, windy, clammy UK winters, month after month, are the chief reason I moved to warmer climes.

 

Happy Hallowe'en

 If you've got your witch's hat on, enjoy your evening.

Sue x

Trans positive performing arts and sciences

 I went to Liverpool with a friend the other day. We saw a bit of the Walker Art Gallery but mainly the World Museum, which is like a smaller version of the Natural History Museum and British Museum in London. Both Liverpool museums are free (and I hope the London ones still are). It was half term and so the World Museum was full of children, especially where there were dinosaurs to see. We all love dinosaurs!

But I was particularly struck by an exhibit in the aquarium, which was about LGBT creatures, like gay penguins and gender flexible fish. I though the lesbian, trans and other flags in the backdrop were irrelevant to the animals concerned, and rather anthropomorphised them, but education on the realities of the world is what museums should be about so I was very pleased to see the feature. Children will go away more knowledgeable and aware that being trans or gay is natural and is observable all over the world.

I was also encouraged by the support I read in Musicals magazine this month. I do like stage musicals. I guess the campness and spectacle has always appealed and it's clear that the LGBT community has always provided a very significant portion of the performers, producers and backers.

In Britain alone, musicals currently or recently on that are about trans, gay or drag subjects include Everybody's Talking About Jamie, La Cage aux Folles (just ended), Mrs Doubtfire, Hairspray (that traditionally has a drag role) and, of course, the Rocky Horror Show. 

Lisa Martland (founder and editor of Musical Theatre Review) ended her review of La Cage aux Folles thus:

La Cage is often complimented for the razor-sharp wit of Fierstein's book, the memorable anthemic tunes from Herman, and the eye-catching drag queens - and all of those elements are here. But most important of all is the message that if a life is lived with kindness, care and tolerance, then no-one has the right to respond to that with prejudice and hate.

Sadly, in the light of recent homophobic and transphobic hate crimes, this show is as relevant now as it ever was.

That really struck a chord with me not only because of the unequivocal support from this kind ally but because La Cage means a lot to me personally. I saw a London production of it in 2009 with the superb Roger Allam in the role of Albin/Zazar at just the time when I was getting serious about coming out and living openly as a trans woman.

"I am what I am", the show's best-known number, was almost anthemic for me at the time. Here's my favourite version, sung for Harvey Fierstein by Ginger Minj:

 

Most musicals are uplifting and the others I've mentioned are also about overcoming prejudice to be oneself. "Don't dream it, be it." Ah yes, the ever wise Dr Frank N. Furter there!

 

Packed and ready to go

I've packed my bags and I'll be leaving England tomorrow to return to my home in Italy. All shoes except the booties pictured in my last post are in my cases. And there are all sorts of pretty goodies alongside them. I'm glad to have my own stuff again.

Sue x

How many shoes can you get in a suitcase?

 On Monday morning I woke to a ghostly fog creeping over everything and I decided that it was time to book my return journey to the Mediterranean. Mists and mellow fruitfulness are all very well in small doses but I need sunshine! So I'll be leaving England next Monday.

I now have the difficult task of deciding which things I'd like to take away, and which I'd like to keep here. I've just bought more panties and bras (the non-explosive kind) and I brought various skirts, tops, shoes, camisoles, leggings, sweaters, wigs, nail varnishes and other things from storage. Clothes and makeup pack easily, but shoes and wigs are bulky and I'll have to restrict what I can take. I think the best thing is to take one representative of each style, colour and heel height, like this:

High heels, kitten heels, block heels, wedges and flats; sandals, courts, booties; closed and open-toed; in black, white, tan and pink; in leather and suede. It's a good mix, I think.

The same for things like bras: white, black, pink, blue; T-shirt, full cup; underwired and not; with foam inserts or without (and no gel!)

And so on. A good mix to cover all scenarios.

Storms

Last week Britain suffered from Storm Babet and, at the same time, the riviera from Storm Aline. It wasn't too bad in Cheshire, England, nor too bad where I live in Italy, apparently, although just across the border in France it was a bit of a rerun of Storm Alex of 2020, with roads cut and rivers bursting their banks. Originally, I had plans to return to Italy last Friday and it's just as well I delayed my departure as I'd have been stuck in the torrential rain in Nice with trains cancelled. 

It's always very upsetting to hear of people who have been flooded out or had they property damaged, been injured or have died in such events. With the mass slaughter currently going on in Eastern Europe and the Levant, one must try not to grow inured to personal tragedies like this that seem less newsworthy.

A dip in the archives

It was ten years ago this week that we did our second T-Girl Bar at the Erotica Fair. It's by far my most popular post on this blog but, inevitably, I have to feature it for the tenth anniversary of that fabulous event. If you haven't read about it before, here's the link:

The TGirl Bar 2013

Sue x

Identities, 1960s trans photographic exhibition

 I left my post about the exploding bra up for a week as it seemed to gather more than usual interest! I guess if it gave people a laugh then the bra may not have died in vain. One consequence of my post is that the Almighty Algorithm that knows and sees all things has been plying me with adverts for enhancer bras all week. 

Anyway, enough of that silliness. I wanted to tell you about the exhibition I saw in London last week of the photos taken in the port of Genoa, Italy, in the 1960s by Lisetta Carmi. 

As well as dockers and steelworkers, she photographed the lives of girls in the trans community there, ingratiating herself with a normally cautious group of people and recording their existence without judgment or comment. Carmi was well aware of prejudice and hate: as a Jewish girl of 14, she had fled to Switzerland in 1938 when Mussolini decided that some Hitler-style anti-Jewish legislation was what was needed. Given that crossdressing was illegal in Italy from 1931 to 1981, you can understand the community's reticence to be documented.

I have mentioned her photography before here. But this time I got to see it for myself at the Estorick Collection of Modern Italian Art in Islington in North London, a rather nice little museum with a lovely café where they serve Italian food for lunch. I went with my trans-supportive friend Daniela who visited me in Italy recently (see Encouragement) and we were impressed with the amazing photos that documented both people at work and trans girls so clearly and honestly. Some girls are posing in their finery; some are just sitting, indoors or out; some girls are out on the town or at parties; others are soliciting; still others are just musing. What statement fashions they had in the '60s, though!

Some of Carmi's thoughts on the trans community:

I immediately understood that these were human beings who experienced, and suffered deeply from, the contradictions of our society, a minority that was both sought out and rejected.

By observing them, I understood how all that is masculine may also be feminine, and vice versa. There are no obligatory behavioural models outside those of an authoritarian tradition that is imposed on us from childhood.

Her conclusion: we are all human and all merit dignity.

To see some of the photos and read more about them, here are some links.

Here's the link to the gallery's page: Lisetta Carmi at the Estorick.

Here's a review of this exhibition in the UK's daily Guardian newspaper: Lisetta Carmi Identities review.

There are many reviews online of this important exhibition. In my opinion, the best is this one by Anna McNay in Studio International, again with photos and also touching on Carmi's own gender uncertainties: Lisetta Carmi: Identities

And here's another link to the 2019 article from Frieze Masters issue 8 that I included in my post three years ago and that has some photos that didn't feature in this exhibition: The Intimate Lives of Genoa's 1960s Trans Comunity.

I bought the catalogue with all the photos in as I'd like to keep a souvenir.

They also have select postcards:

The exhibition is on at the Estorick until December 17th. It's easy to get to as it's very close to Highbury and Islington Underground station.

I'll end with this meme that someone posted on Facebook which I feel encapsulates every image of a trans person I have ever come across: no matter the era or the fashion or the culture, we have always been here.

Sue x

The day my bra exploded

 I am looking for sympathy but I know many readers are just going to laugh …

THE DAY MY BRA EXPLODED. A Tragedy, by Sue Richmond.

I have spent ten days in my storage unit in West London sorting out the mess left by removal men, floodwaters, reboxing and rearranging by others whilst I was in lockdown abroad, and various other disasters. Yesterday I finished, at last. It would be cynical to say that my most necessary items were, of course, typically, in the last box I came across; no, no, they were in the penultimate one! Anyway, finally, in the furthest corner, I came across the box containing my foundation wear.

Now, you’d have thought that a lightweight box clearly marked “fragile” would have been placed on top but no, it was at the bottom of a stack, under crates of books, household appliances, ironware, Acme anvils and anything else heavy they could find.

So on opening the box, the first thing that almost literally popped up was a gel-filled bra. Well, we all need a bit of enhancement sometimes, don’t we? Besides, gel helps make those irritating “admirers” just bounce off! You could hear the relief after years of pressure were released. You know how sometimes you take your bra off at the end of a long day and give a sigh of freedom? Well, this time it was the garment, not me, that did so. So I lifted it out of the box …and it exploded - both barrels - sending gooey gel everywhere. Talk about seepage!

Tell me, what wording could I use to claim a burst bra on the insurance? 

I’m annoyed as it was the most expensive bra I have, and a very pretty one, too. But I guess if it had to burst it was better this way than out on a date ...

Anyway, I thought I should get that off my chest.

I have taken away various items of Sue clothes and the rest will be transported to my new home in due course. Oh, and I did find the box of high heels, too, and have taken a couple of pairs for now.

Whilst In London in did also manage to see friends in the locality and went to one of the fantastic trans art exhibitions I have been mentioning over the summer. More on that next time when I have rested after a physically demanding two weeks.

A dip in the archives

One more from my old memory card rediscovered last week

Sue x

More discoveries

 I continue to delve into the mysteries of my storage unit after it got rearranged by various disasters and today I finally found my crate of skirts. So many old friends. And they still fit! At least, the ones with elasticated waistbands do!

I've selected a few old favourites to take away now and the rest will wait till I move all my possessions out of London.

Additionally, I've now got all three crates of hosiery together. Yes, three crates. I love my tights that much!

I think I've got quite nice legs but it's the heels, hose and shorter skirts that show them to their best advantage. I'm sure that goes for all of us.

 

I'm still hunting for my crate of heels, though. All I've found so far are boring flats. And some underwear would be useful!

We'll get there, and the place is taking on some semblance of order now and I can plan a move. 

Tomorrow I'll only be sorting stuff in the morning as I find so much heavy physical activity exhausting. I am disabled with upper limb disorder, you see, so I find it harder than others might do. In the afternoon, I plan to take a break and go and see an exhibition of photos of trans women. News on that soon if I do.

Sue x

Found my special box and photos

 It's almost impossible to write a blog using the lousy wi-fi in hotels and on trains so it's been a week since I last posted but I am excited to report that I have at last unearthed my special box of goodies.

I deposited my worldly goods in storage in London five years ago but it was only this spring that I started to collect my many Sue items. This week I got back to London and really got going on all my stuff which was in a mess. 

The mess was not of my making. My storage was planned meticulously but what with the buyer of a sofa and chairs pulling out at the very last minute before I moved, leaving me with these large items having to be squeezed into the little space available; then my being hit by a cyclist on removals day and crawling around in agony unable to direct the removal men properly as they arranged my stuff into storage; and then a flood in the deposit in 2020 when I was in lockdown abroad that meant that the owners of the facility had to rebox much of my stuff, but they didn't use boxes of similar size to the previous ones so previously logical arrangements of contents have either been amalgamated with others or split up. So the whole thing is a mess. The full story is here when I described finding my feminine critical kit this spring: We Can Rebuild Her.

My "special box of goodies" unearthed this week is not the same as the "feminine critical kit" I found before. Both boxes were supposed to be together at the front for easy access, but I found them in totally different places nearer the back of my storage unit. Anyway, among other things, the special box contained my pink camera with a lot of photos on the memory card that I have now downloaded and which have been bringing back fond memories. A few are below.

I also had time this week to catch up with a sister in London. She's not quite as bigoted as the other who hates LGBT people but it's still painful to hear her and my nephew's prejudices. He's just got his first job after leaving his faith-based school and I hope this change in his life might open his horizons. I will be working on him, too!

I also took two old male neighbours of mine out to an Indian restaurant last night and it was very good to have a catch-up after these years away. They filled me in on news of my old neighbourhood, news which was almost all about roadworks!

Both events, unfortunately, required more masculine appearance, but even with my sister I refused to cut my long nails. She didn't seem to notice, but we are all quite short-sighted in our family! And the neighbours didn't seem to notice my soft bootcut trousers and feminine sweater. I don't like having this sort of unisex appearance but life's too awkward to be 'out' as trans just at the moment.

I'll be in Britain for a couple more weeks so more trans-related news as it happens.

A dip in the archives

 A few of the newly found photos from 2016-18, not posted before:

Trying on clothes in a shop with my pink camera, November 2016.

Showing my two favourite rings. The larger one I bought myself and the smaller one was given to me by a beloved friend. I think I got my lipstick just right. Christmas 2016.

Out in Greenwich, London, April 2017.

Ready to go out in the evening at Sparkle, July 2017.

Very wet day in the park, January 2018

By contrast, a boiling hot day in Berlin, June 2018.

Thanks for reading. Have a good weekend.

Sue x