Foreign climes

It's been unseasonably warm in Europe this past week or two and here in Milan it almost feels like spring. Apart from there being no leaves on the trees or flowers coming up.

It was a pleasant journey here by train, stopping off in Paris for a night. It's very hard to take photos from the train of the beautiful mountain scenery as the double glazing and bright lights create severe reflections.

Over the weekend, though, I took a plane to Berlin to stay with one of my friends there. It was a quiet time when I had a chance to look at some of the fantastic treasures in the archaological museums in the city centre, stroll in the Tiergarten (the central park), ride the trams, see how reconstruction of the palace is coming on. I've posted many pictures of Berlin over the years but here are some new views.

The Altes Museum on Museum Island, full of superb Greek and Roman antiquities

Tiergarten in winter

Frederick the Great in Unter den Linden, the main thoroughfare

The royal palace is nearly rebuilt. The crane is for the underground line that they have been digging for ever! Berlin has had no end of building sites since German Unification in the early 1990s. There's a lot of building and rebuilding still to do. Ironically the palace was not so badly damaged by wartime bombing despite being in the very centre of the city but was pulled down by the communists as a symbol of imperialist repression. East Germany then built its parliament building on the site but that was torn down, allegedly because of asbestos, but really because it was a symbol of communist repression.

More obvious signs of war. Missing statue and shrapnel damage.

These pieces of Berlin Wall are left as a memorial. Having been brought up in the Cold War era, these still have the power to make me shudder. So why do today's moron tourists stick their chewing gum and write their names all over them?

It was also the chance to eat out a lot (always a favourite activity of mine). There's cuisine of all nations to choose from and I ate Vietnamese and Indian as well as German. But the one that stood out was the German tapas restaurant, mini dishes of German classics. Here's currywurst and chips, fried chicken and chutney, Berlin meatballs and mini onions. Odd but fun.

There were fabulous views of the snowclad Harz Mountains, Black Forest and Swiss Alps from the plane, the Upper Rhine Valley, Lake Lucerne and Lake Lugano, and the blue line of the Vosges in France were all very clear and beautiful.

Back in Milan now.

Sue x

Some gems

The last two posts about politics and loss were not very positive so this time I'm pleased to report some better news. In the light of my being unable to find my box of feminine goodies, I bought myself a necklace and earrings that I think will suit my eyes and style.

I'm also pleased to report that two trans friends who write books, Roz White and Helena Love, have been receiving royalties for their output. Shows that enough books are being sold that are related to the trans community in one way or another.

On the subject of literature, I'm also pleased to see that a children's book I mentioned in a previous post, "Julian is a Mermaid" by Jessica Love (no relation to Helena) is evidently selling very well.

I'm in the process of packing my bags to go back to Italy for a few months. I actually need to be there for administrative reasons but it means that I can avoid the fallout in the UK if Brexit results in chaos next month. Good luck to the folks at home. I also hope to spend a weekend in Berlin with a gay friend before my British passport becomes a liability. Sadly, for reasons already explained, none of my travels will involve femme time. Although a lot of my clothes are, in fact, women's items, and this always makes me feel connected to my female side and to the trans world.

I'm looking forward to spring arriving whilst I'm away.

Sue x

Lost essentials

Last year when I moved house I had an accident right whilst I was actually doing the removals. Most of my things are in a self-storage depot but one box I specially set aside. It contained my most stylish wigs, my boobs, my makeup and two bottles of my favourite perfume.

I've been back to the depot three times and I cannot find the box. Obviously when staggering around with my leg all swollen and trying to direct the removal men I happened to lose sight of that box. I'm sure it wasn't left in the house or in the van so I can only assume that one of the men used it when stacking furniture and it's somehow ended up at the bottom or back of the storage unit.

But it means my most essential feminine items are unavailable and I cannot present as female. Obviously, it's all replaceable and I have already found a good hair shop and there is Mac and other makeup shops near my new base in Britain, but I still feel upset that the most feminising things I have should have disappeared and that I haven't been able to venture out as my female self.

Things really don't seem to be going right recently.

Sue x

The mess we're in

It's traditional to wish a happy new year in an opening post. I hope you do have one.

Despite that traditional greeting, I have a feeling that there are some very nasty times ahead.

I am trying to settle in Italy at the moment, and am dealing with the world's worst bureaucracy. That's not any kind of laughing matter but an example of the vicious contempt with which governments treat those they have subject to them.

I have been living there since November in order to try to retain my rights as a European citizen. They're silly little things like human, employment and pension rights and other trivial dignities that Theresa May has been determined to remove in Britain. Living in a country with a clear constitution, citizen rights and guaranteed rule of law suits me, but then maybe I'm just some kind of silly twit.

Given the crass utter shambles that the UK has made of Brexit, the UK's credibility on the continent and worldwide is shot. Nobody in politics or the press here on the European mainland now sees the UK government as anything other than a bunch of grossly arrogant retards who couldn't organise a V sign. From a previous position of respect, the UK is a pitiable laughing stock. Well done. Bravo. Clap clap.

Frankly, I don't care how the rest of this moronic Brexit shambles pans out. Britain's medieval parliamentary, electoral, diplomatic and other systems have proved unfit for the 21st century and need to be completely overhauled. Britain has a government that had a mandate from a mere 21% of the population, just one person in five. Go figure. But a thousand years of feudalism means that the populace in England just sits there and accepts whatever the establishment does to it. No gilets jaunes here.

Brexiteers now need to be held accountable for the mess that their gross ignorance, overweening arrogance, race hate and/or sneering malice is creating. They never had any coherent plan in mind, just destruction, like yobs. They have no credibility, honesty or shame. There's ample evidence now of foul play in winning the Brexit referendum vote, not to mention the government's steadfast avoidance of parliament in the process as much as it possibly could get away with. What contempt for the process of government, for law and for citizens! If the UK cannot agree a withdrawal deal with the EU, its main trade partner, for which there is a clear negotiating mechanism, how on earth does it expect to succeed in the far trickier and more protracted business of negotiating with other nations? That was the Brexiteer promise: better, easier, more advantageous trade deals all round. Yeah, right.

The stress of dealing with Brexit fallout on my work has damaged my health so I have closed my business, sold up, and am taking myself, my assets and my taxes away from that failing country and, as I no longer work, I will be spending the time damaging Brexiteer interests in return and actively fighting nationalism and racism. So many people have said to me "Brexit is bad for me but there's nothing I can do about it". This is what I am doing about it

As for Theresa May, the repellent Prime Minister, and her gang of incompetent, narcissistic ministers and supporters, their shamelessness, contempt and cruelty are unpardonable.

"But Sue," the reader starts to protest, "although I agree with all/some/none of the above, you write a transgender blog and what's all this got to do with being trans?"

The one apparently positive thing that May has tried to do is to make life easier for transitioning transsexuals, persuaded to do so by an openly lesbian former minister Justine Greening. The problem is that the association of trans rights with a government with an extremist and atrocious record does the trans community no good at all. I refused to participate in the consultation as I foresee a backlash when May is finally called to account. I think it highly probable that one of the first cuts in services as the economy tanks will be for "non-essentials" such as gender clinics and trans health services.

The other reason is that much of the wish to leave the European Union is bound to race hate, and that is linked to all other forms of xenophobia such as hatred for trans people. Soaring race attacks have been matched by soaring homophobic, transphobic and other crimes.

What a sick and evil mess.

Sue x

That was 2018

It’s been a very unusual year but I did get time to go out at various times, either just shopping for myself or walking locally, or eating out with girlfriends, such as Sarah, Steph, Gina and Jo, and Emma.

The highlight, though, was my trip to Berlin, which was my first time out abroad. I saw all the sights of the city centre and it was a delight to be free to wander around a place where nobody took any notice of the trans woman. That’s how life should be.

The one major change is that I am moving abroad. Although I’m in Italy at present I may not stay there in the long run. The gross and unpardonable mess that the toxic UK government is making of leaving the European Union makes all things uncertain for millions such as myself. The only thing I am certain of is that a racist, isolated, right-wing Britain is not safe for trans people. Consequently, this year I felt it very important to participate in Transgender Day of Visibility and London Pride. That, and my family’s passionate anti-LGBT bigotry. Spain seems to have a more developed trans culture and that may be my final destination. I’m moving chiefly because my health now needs somewhere warmer and sunnier than Britain.

London Pride

One thing I can count on is the humanity of lots of my friends in the trans community and when I damaged my leg during house removals, it was a trans friend who took me in and looked after me for two weeks.

I’ve no idea what 2019 will bring. The one thing I am certain of is that it will be very uncertain. I just hope that humanity prevails over the bigotry now seen in Brexit Britain, Trump’s America and other former civilized countries where unscrupulous populist narcissists are whipping up hate. Here in Italy the loons are in government too but their likelihood of failing is high and I think things will soon return to a more rational approach.

Good luck in 2019, everyone.

Here’s my avatar for 2019, taken whilst on my way to London last summer.

Sue x

Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas to all my readers. I hope Santa brought you everything you wanted.

Sue x

Christmas tree outside Milan Cathedral

Into Europe

I've spent the last two weeks in Milan, Italy. I treated myself to first class trains there and back, which is a much pleasanter way to travel than flying in a cramped smelly aircraft from grotty airport terminals with aggressive and abusive airport staff to contend with. I broke my journeys in Paris, which I haven't been to for many years. The Alps, clad in winter's first snows, were impressive to ride through.

Just a few images from my trip:

Milan Cathedral, one of the world's largest and most impressive places of worship

Beautiful shops everywhere. I had to be careful not to stare at the frocks too much. Nor should you. So here's some fish instead.

1928 tram stock, built so well that they still form the backbone of the Milan tram fleet after 90 years on the road. Polished wooden seats, leather grab straps, glass lampshades and wooden doors. Based on the classic San Francisco street car design, they are impressively swift and a delight to ride in.

Dog roses are in bloom everywhere in December

Harvested paddy field in Piedmont, Italy

Only in Paris do you get to see your partner shower while you are in bed!

The one bad thing is that I am staying with a family member, they don't know about my trans side and, given my family's bigotry, it is best that they remain ignorant. So no girly clothes. Well, apart from my shoes and socks which are women's because my feet are so small that men's sizes that small don't exist. So I am always connected to my femme life in that way. My stay with family is temporary until I find a more permanent abode.

I am back in England for a few days before I return to Italy for Christmas.

Sue x

Heading off

My plans to move abroad were interrupted last month because I badly damaged the plantaris muscle in my right leg. Thanks to the care of a special trans friend of mine and her family I was able to rest up for two weeks at her house and get gradually better. I am so grateful to her.

This week I moved to the North of England and have been improving my walking, including quite a few trips to the shops. I was especially pleased with the pretty lingerie from Marks & Spencer. I thought I deserved a treat.

Now that I am off crutches I will be heading to the Mediterranean tomorrow. A gentle train trip stopping off in Paris. I hope to get there in one piece this time!

Sue x

TDOR

TDOR: Transgender Day of Remembrance, that day in the year dedicated specifically to remembering all those transgender people who are killed or who kill themselves. Usually listed as highest number of violent deaths connected with any social group.

I wish such commemorations were unnecessary. I wish that it was possible for people to be accepted. But I do despair. And so I blog, I am visible in public, I talk to people. Just so they know that we exist and are not freaks or perverts or a danger.

Just stop killing us, OK?

Sue x

The best laid plans...

In my last post I explained that I was planning to travel abroad this week.

Except I haven't because, whilst in the middle of removals, I had an accident. It's not clear if I was actually hit by a speeding bike or just avoided it but damaged myself in the process. Either way, I ended up in A&E and am now on crutches because I have a damaged plantaris muscle. My leg was swollen like a halloween pumpkin.

The last few days moving out of my home whilst on crutches were very difficult to say the least.

However, I have made some wonderful friends in this trans community of ours over the years and one has take me in to her home for as long as it takes me to recover and literally get back on my feet. I'm not mentioning her name as she's quite modest about what she's done for me even though it means so much to me.

Doctors say it may take a month to be back to normal.

The worst is that I am proud of my legs but can only wear horrid loose trousers!

Sue x