Thursday 7 July 2022

Integrity and the TGirl

 Two years ago I mentioned an exhibition of photographer Lisetta Carmi's work documenting the lives of trans people in the 1960s (link: Trans lives in the 1960s). I'm sad to say that she passed away the other day, although at the grand age of 98. Her book about the subject was very controversial as it highlighted a large subculture that people had preferred to ignore. Having been the victim of anti-Jewish laws and proscriptions in the 1930s-40s, and having felt that she wanted to be a boy when younger, her many projects documenting the realities of the lives of society's underdogs were non-judgmental and the subject matter spoke for itself without much need for commentary. 

 


I am pleased to see that the DSM, that bible of behaviour that has always included much about being transgender, has been updated with some more sensitive definitions (see this post from Crossdreamers here). I do like the definition "experienced gender" replacing "desired gender". For my part, I've never desired a gender, just experienced one that is not so common.

Living one's reality and recording that of others involves integrity. I have never been much bothered about a person's beliefs or politics because if they are a person of integrity they will do the right thing. It's the abusers whose philosophy one needs to watch. No amount of abuse and threats by transphobes alters our reality though it may alter our behaviour to avoid violence or punishment. 

I think it worth mentioning this on the day when a certain Boris Johnson may be resigning as British Prime Minister, "in due course, at the appropriate juncture, in the fullness of time, when the moment is ripe, when the necessary procedures have been completed, nothing precipitate, of course," to quote Sir Humphrey from the '80s sitcom Yes, Minister. Johnson, like Trump, like Putin, is a man with no integrity whatsoever. That wholesale absence of integrity in oneself and the inability to understand when it is advisable to pretend to have it, is a rare trait but you can see the chaos and misery that it brings to millions. The transphobia that has erupted under the premiership of this individual, which was not found even under his psychopathic predecessor, is one of the legacies of his inhumanity. I have found little integrity in government at any level over the course of my life, but we seem to be at the nadir.


Gay old times ahead

I have two friends coming to stay with me for a few days so I may not be able to post again for a week or so. They are the first guests I will have had since moving to Italy nearly four years ago. Thanks Covid! I hope they'll enjoy their time with me. Let's hope the weather remains nice but stops being quite so hot and dry as it has been this week.

They are a gay couple who know I am trans and have met me as Sue, though they don't understand why people are trans. But they accept who I am, and that's what counts. After all, do we ourselves understand what it is that makes us trans? Not really, and the many rewrites of the DSM reflect that. Anyway, here's to fun and mutual respect with other LGBTQ+ folk.

Sue x


12 comments:

  1. "...they don't understand why people are trans..."

    Perhaps like science, you don't always need to understand something, to know that it works 😉

    Silliness aside, let's hope that whoever replaces Johnson and the cabinet of loyalists, behaves appropriately and with dignity towards others. The treatment of LGBTQ people has been particularly toxic of late.

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    1. Thanks, Lynn. I do hope that science will soon give concrete explanations for why some people are trans. Although a lot of people, especially religious, will treat scientific conclusions with suspicion, it is harder to attack facts that most people can see as such, not that people don't try.

      As for Johnson, his legacy is so toxic - he has, after all, been the main instrument for the downfall of three governments including his own - that until he dies we will have this presence poisoning everything; the same for Murdoch, as well as Trump, Putin, and so on. Johnson's lack of characteristic British pragmatism, though, means a successor is less likely to consider that being so divisive as he has been would be a worthwhile strategy. I hope so at least.

      Sue x

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  2. A number of years ago, I attended a church whose membership was made up entirely of gay men and lesbians. Over the course of almost two years, I spent quite a bit of time educating many of them on who I was and what I saw to be the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation. I found that it was easier to explain everything to cis people than it was at that church.

    Interestingly, I know of two of the members who later transitioned male to female. Although there are those who would probably say I was "grooming," I must have had some effect on their realization that they were trans - sexual orientation aside.

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    1. Thank you, Connie. A church made up solely of gay and lesbian worshippers is something I've never heard of but it's interesting and I dare say encouraging that there is such a place.

      My gay friends have asked me, not through sexism or bigotry but a genuine inability to fathom what makes women women, "Why would anyone want to be a woman?" I had to tell them that my female friends asked me exactly the same thing, for rather different reasons!

      Sue x

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    2. The church was not formed as a gay church. It was a small, neighborhood church that had become gay-friendly and accepting, probably in the 90's. Over time, though, the membership changed to 99% gay. I was the only transgender woman for the two+ years I was there, until lack of funding and support forced them to sell the building (now a large home built in its place) about ten years ago. It was determined that the reason for the church's demise was that a gay church was no longer relevant. There are plenty of churches who will welcome LGBT+ people these days. I think that's great, as it goes toward inclusion, rather than separation.

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    3. It's good to hear that LGBT+ people are more included in other churches. One day there won't a be a need for Pride marches and such like either. At least, that's the hope. Sue x

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  3. I don't even understand why or how some heterosexual couples find each other attractive, but there you go.. It's all part of life's rich diversity I suppose.

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    1. Thanks, Susie. "What do those two see in each other?" is a mystery that no-one outside of the couple in question will necessarily ever be able to answer. But I feel the question of why is that person gay/straight or trans/cis should be answerable one day. Sue x

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  4. "do we ourselves understand what it is that makes us trans?"

    who knows (or indeed cares), except that it's "an observable aspect of life"...

    https://twitter.com/assignedmale/status/1475865618595389443

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    1. Well, indeed. We're still working on how the universe will end (or started), why toast falls on the buttered side and what's at work in nature to make trans people. I think it'd be useful to know so transphobes can at least be silenced on the accusation that we're making it all up. Sue x

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  5. Sue, I was fascinated by your piece on Lisetta Carmi and tried, without luck, to get hold of her book on trans people.

    As to the DSM and the whole thing about shrinks ... their fundamental proposition is based on societal 'norms'. I was, perhaps, fortunate that my first experience of psychiatry, back in the 60's was through reading RD Laing's 'The Divided Self' which made me sceptical of given psychoanalytic approachs, but thanks for the update on the DSM and the link to Crossdreamers.

    Boris is almost gone, to earn shedloads of dosh making up tales to sell, but the legacy is toxic. Heaven help us.

    I was really pleased to read you've friends visiting - have a great time!
    Nikki xxx

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    1. Thanks, Nikki.

      Lisetta Carmi's book published in 1972 is a rare collector's item and commands quite high prices, if you can find a copy. Fortunately, there have been a lot of restrospectives of her work in recent years and a number of her trans photos are online.

      I have just had a psychiatrist staying with me and we discussed trans children. I felt his understanding was limited to his own field and certain clinical approaches within it, which is pretty restricting. I pointed out a couple of studies on trans people I had participated in that challenged his perspective and I hope to write our discussion up here soon.

      Sue x

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