I'm at risk of being expelled from the TGirl Club. You see, I haven't had a photo taken since last September and this low ratio of pics is just not the TGirl way!
I had set yesterday afternoon aside to do my hair and makeup really nicely but the weather turned out hot and steamy and it was impossible. It'll happen but maybe I shouldn't hope too much for this summer.
I've been asked for some paintings. I used to do a lot of art and illustration but gave up my studio ten years ago to pursue better-paying work. Instead of photo selfies, I might try some more self-portraits. Here's one from ten years ago.
I think the hairstyle was 'artistic'!
This was me in my studio.
Portraiture was a new thing for me at the time and I think I have a lot of work to do to improve the style and presentation. Let's see how we go. Any worthwhile results will be posted here in due course.
The view from Crazytown
Talking of art, I found a picture some years ago from a site that provides modern commentary on old illustrations. I've always liked the picture because it inadvertently illustrates the life of a trans person according to some of the crazed pronouncements from religious maniacs. It makes me chuckle as I know that's how my bigoted family would see me if they knew the full story. The incongruity here shows the silliness of their position.
I'm happy to emphasise this point further by pointing out that a drag queen topped the iTunes Christian Charts this week. This suggests that religious bullies do not have the monopoly of religious thought, faith and practice that they like to think they have. Drag Queen Flamy Grant tops the iTunes Christian Charts. The article has links to some relevant songs.
How about when bigotry goes really nuts. This preacher's fear of the Barbie movie suggests to me that being seriously unhinged is possibly the chief qualification for the job of evangelical minister in the USA. (And a love of money, of course.)
Well, demons are surely more fun than boring old popcorn while me and the kids watch the movie? We demons do love a pretty dress, after all.
I mean, seriously, folks!
Trans success
I hear from the UK that Highland Pride went well. The same for Nottingham Pride. And also Sparkle 2023. For every attack from the bigots and haters there are trans people fighting back and living their lives. I remain positive as I don't think the bigots actually have the public's attention, other than to put the public off bigotry.
Despite all the anti-trans hate these days, I am not inclined to despair. You see, there's good news from two of my friends this week, and from others similarly promoting the profile of trans people. Many fields of endeavour accept alternative people readily, such as performing arts and academia.
Trans theatre this summer
There are quite a number of trans themed theatrical performances this summer. Starting with my friend Grace Statton's performance in Gary at the Cockpit Theatre in London on 10 August.
Gary tells a story of love, self-hate and identity confusion when you
realise you are what you fear. Looking at bigotry, identity, trans
narratives and community, this show will resonate with some and
hopefully bring joy to all.
Things are going to change... Just not in the way Gary expects. He
wants your vote to make his little piece of London great again. However,
after a protest gets out of hand outside a library hosting a drag queen
story time, Gary wakes up in hospital. With no memory of who he was,
how does he tell the world who he really wants to be? And how will the
world around him react? How will HE react when he finds out who he was -
someone who would hate everything about the person of the present. And
how does he deal with the fact that he is now perhaps she!
Gary has a lot of thinking to do and a very short time to do it.
Gary is not the only trans play on this summer. Vladimir Luxuria, a very well known trans person here in Italy as she was a member of parliament, is performing at the nearby Borgo Verezzi Festival in Princesa, a play about the life of a controversial Brazilian transwoman, Fernanda Farias de Albuquerque (1963-2000).
Vladimir Luxuria by Sergio D'Afflitto
The Avignon Festival in France has just hosted a long-running play Giovanni! Awaiting the Bomb, a somewhat surreal solo performance to music about outsider artist Giovanni Galli whose troubled mental state and gender dysphoria is reflected in his life and art.
Giovanni! En attendant la bombe. Promotional image.
Trans academics
The other friend I mentioned, Jan Eldridge, has now become full professor of astrophysics at the University of Auckland, New Zealand, and heads the physics department there, as well as being a visible advocate for trans rights. Her inaugural lecture aimed at non-specialists, "Exploding Binaries", referring to both stars and genders, can be watched here (53 mins):
Few of my readers will be experts in binary stars but most will know enough about the gender binary already. Jan does emphasise the importance of great hair and pretty nails here, and I'm sure we can all relate to that! I hope to see Jan again next time I visit New Zealand. Here's us in 2011.
So it's good to have another leading academic who is trans. Another professor I know is Sophie Grace Chappell of the Open University in Britain who has a lot to say about being trans (take this in the Guardian newspaper, for instance: Harry Potter helped me become a woman.)
I notice that a new Professorial Chair of LGBTQ+ History has just been created at Oxford University, the first such post in the UK. This is exciting news, too.
Thanks to all these folk for presenting trans life to the real world. And for arts and academic worlds for offering plenty of scope for trans people to lead their best lives.
I failed the audition for the Barbie movie; given the state of my eyebrows, maybe I should've auditioned for the Lassie movie instead. Woof!
It's definitely the case that women are dressing like Barbie right now. Not only is there this year's all-over pink look that I discussed at the start of the year but it's become definitely more 'little girl' over the last week or two. There are some embarrassed kids round town with mums who look more dolly than their own toys. I've no objection but don't out-little girl your little girl!
Better than Barbie
I had hoped to post this yesterday but wasn't able to then. That's because yesterday was the tenth anniversary of this lovely day out in London when we got our best summer frocks on and posed on Waterloo Bridge, to the delight of passing tourists and traffic, and then sat demurely on a bench outside the nearby Savoy Hotel. A lovely reminder of great times. These girls look lovelier than any Barbie, don't they?
L-R: Stella, Linda, Stephanie, me, Rachel, Irene
L-R: Irene, Stephanie, Rachel, Linda, me
I'm still in touch with most of these girls. I hope to be back in London this coming October and hope to organise another of those London Ladies Who Lunch outings. We used to do so many of these and I miss them.
Barbecued
Well, the heatwave in the Mediterranean continues and shows no sign of letting up. I tolerate heat much better than I tolerate cold but this past week I've actually had trouble sleeping because the temperature at night is pretty much the same as by day. The sea is almost 28C (82F), which is tropical and is the same now as the famously warm Caribbean. This results in there being no cool evening breeze to mitigate the daytime air temperature, and in a proliferation of invasive species, too. I literally spend all day in my swimwear because wearing more is uncomfortable.
I've been making fruit ices to round off my midday meal. This one's a melon water ice, with lots of pulp in it as well as juice so it's more fruity and filling.
One annoying seed got away from the sieve, though! If I say so myself, I have always made nice fruit sorbets and ices in summer and I have oranges ready for the next batch.
I've had a lot of people wish me well in the current heatwave but unlike other places we've actually had a drop in temperatures over the last few days. It's partly why I moved to this part of the world - mild winters and sunny but not broiling summers. It's 33C here in the shade this afternoon (91F), which is hot but nothing like the Rome area where it's 10C higher right now. Yesterday evening there was a nice breeze and I went to my next door neighbour for a cold prosecco, which was actually the first booze I've had for a couple of weeks. I don't think alcohol and hot weather go well together at all but it was OK yesterday.
Indisputably Isobel
Isobel has a fully charged outdoor trans life and her adventures can be read on her blog, Indisputably Isobel, which I have added to my blogroll on the right. Her blog reminds me of the first few years of this blog, before I got sick, when I packed in a lot of events and meet-ups with other girls, with lots of photos. Worth keeping up with her.
Keep having fun, honey.
Recognition of non-op transwomen in Italy
Good news from Italy where transitioners already have good protections but where help for and recognition of other trans people is patchy. After a long legal dispute, a transwoman in Sicily has been recognised as female despite not going down the official medical transition route which up to now has been the only way to change sex markers on official documents. It's another step forward. I admire her tenacity with the Italian courts that are not renowned for their speediness.
Catherine et Liliane
Many thanks (or curses) to Stana over at the Femulate blog, for introducing me some months ago to the long-running TV show in France, Les RTT de Catherine et Liliane (Catherine and Liliane's time off in lieu), in which actors Alex Lutz and Bruno Sanches took on the roles of gossipy secretaries in a French media office. I have been watching the episodes on YouTube endlessly. The show has now ended but was fine topical satire and neither I nor any other commentator can get over just how brilliantly they performed the roles, from gestures to voices to clothing and accessories. I'm not sure I've ever seen crossdressed roles done so well. The trick is to play it absolutely straight.
There are no versions in English or subtitled in English that I can find but if you want a taste without needing to know much French this episode is as good as any to illustrate the sort of scrapes they get into. Catherine and Liliane are all dolled up in Cannes and come across the Louis Vuitton shop where Catherine soon realises she can just about afford a bar of Vuitton soap. But they bump into Nicolas Ghesquière, Vuitton's creative director, who offers to take them to the fashion show later if they will parade Vuitton dresses there. Having been fitted, they are then stood up for Susan Sarandon and Nicole Kidman. They have no choice but to pay for the new dresses that have been altered just for them. Catherine offers post-dated cheques. Brilliantly played - and what great outfits (although Liliane's is, as ever, slightly comedic).
It's hot and not the best weather for wearing wigs or makeup. In the last couple of weeks, temperature records have been broken in several ways and we are expecting a serious heatwave this weekend in southern Europe. I have been doing very little because anything too strenuous is actually unpleasant at the moment.
I've written on this subject in each of the last few years since moving to the Med but the fact is that here in July it's always going to be hot, 30C and more even at night. I try not to run the air conditioning till shortly before bed (so I can fall asleep in a temperature that's more conducive to sleep) because it's expensive and gives a false sense of ease, as well as contributing to the overall problem of manmade climate troubles. To cool off, I prefer to drink hot tea than eat an ice lolly as the latter only chills your insides whereas the 'glow' the tea gives you is your natural way to cool off. I say 'glow' on the basis of the old saying that only horses sweat, whereas gentlemen perspire and ladies merely glow. I am a lady, after all!
I did once experience 45C heat in Central Italy way back in 1988, the first year I myself realised that the climate was off. The best thing in such cases is simply to stay cool indoors with blinds or curtains closed. It isn't just laziness and gluttony that results in a 3-4 hour lunch break for businesses where I live but the fact that working in the high heat of early afternoon is not desirable. Mornings and evenings are more conducive to productivity and health. A workman died of heatstroke in Lodi, Italy, the other day, which illustrates how careful one has to be. Condolences to his family, friends and colleagues.
My ceilings here are high, my floor is ceramic, and my home is designed to counter the excesses of summer. Frankly, I don't go around the house in much more than my bikini at the moment. And no, I won't post a photo!
I haven't had any alcohol for a fortnight, as that exacerbates the effects of heat. It's had the knock-on effect of helping me lose weight: nearly another kilo (2 lb) since last writing on Monday. And thanks for the thoughts and encouragement from those who commented then on weight loss.
In the evenings, I'm enjoying the starry sky and I get good views southwards over the sea. Scorpio is dead ahead just after dark at the moment; you couldn't see all the constellation when I lived further north in London but I can now, it's stinger curling out of the waves.
My chicory has put out even more of the pretty flowers that I mentioned last week. But so far this year I haven't had any little animals visit my plant pots, like Laura the Lizard who lived with me for months last summer. They will come, though, I'm sure.
Laura the Lizard 2022
Music to dress to
I've been doing a bit of work helping a musicologist log the uses of stock music, the sort that's written, played and recorded for a one-off fee and then sits in a music library for any registered library user to use as desired. It's a less a common system now, I believe, and royalty arrangements are more complex than they were 50+ years ago when media companies used these libraries regularly. This does not mean that the music is poor quality, it's just that the composer was prepared to accept a one-off fee and give up their copyright.
I came across one familiar piece from my childhood, by well-known composer Johnny Pearson (who conducted the orchestras on Top of the Pops, Cilla Black's shows and other such musical extravaganzas). It's the 'Dopey Dinosaur Theme' from brilliant kids' show Vision On that was also the 'lift theme' from the wonderful Mary, Mungo and Midge, a really beautiful animation series with long episodes (15 minutes!) for 3-4 year olds that I adored when I was very small. Both those were made by the BBC but the music was also used by CTW in the USA for it's Nancy the Nannygoat animations in their fantastic show Sesame Street, which I believe is still going. As an aside, the care, thought and dedication by production companies and presenters making children's shows on a shoestring budget when I was small was heroic and I still have very fond memories of these lovely programmes that were fun as well as educational. It's a pity that archiving bulky videotape made production companies wipe many episodes of classic shows - it's a big issue in this research project I'm contributing to.
Anyway, to get to the point, Vision On was a very visual show, an art magazine particularly intended for deaf children to enjoy. One presenter, Pat Keysell, would accompany her explanations with sign language. Many other sketches involved word bubbles appearing above the characters, giving kids time to read them. The rest was making and showing art, or short cartoons or presenters lunking around. That said, they had a huge mix of music for those of us who could hear well. One episode is here and ends with a young Sylvester McCoy (in his pre-Dr Who and Hobbit days) enjoying a dance with Pat Keysell, first as duplicated dancers (not such an easy effect in those days) and then thoroughly enjoying themselves in reversed roles. Sylvester McCoy in a pink dress with frothy petticoats having a ball on a superbly conceived show is the best thing I've seen this week. I can't find a separate clip of that but a whole episode is here with the dance sequence starting at 22:04, Sylvester's frock entering at 23:14. And, by the way, the Dopey Dinosaur is at 15:20. Enjoy the show.
My perfect weight is 63 kg or 10 stone exactly. That's because I am petite, just 163 cm (or 5 foot 4) tall and my shoe size is EU 39 or UK 5½ (I think that's an 8 in the USA).
Being petite is great when you're shopping for women's clothing as there's plenty to fit. A lot of my M2F friends struggle with much less choice and I feel for them, and indeed for the plenty of taller, larger or broader footed women out there. However, being petite is not so good when you're forced to be in a man's world when height and bulk count for a lot. It's why I developed a disarming sense of humour - men don't respect my smallness, but they respect a good entertainer.
But I'm committed to the feminine side of life. I fully accepted that way back in late 1990s and have been my feminine self every day since, even if not necessarily all day.
When I was young I was very slim. The fact is, I didn't like eating. I guess my parents and, to an extent, my schools were very forceful about eating and I think I associated food with repression. Then I started working, got my own home, and made a point of taking more interest in food and food preparation and I got quite plump. A girlfriend twenty years ago wanted to lose weight and so I went along with her to Slimming World to give moral support and I started to lose weight alongside her till I was at my ideal size. I kept that perfect weight for several years, including my first trips out as Sue, until a more sedentary job made me very gradually put on the pounds. Only two or three pounds (1-2 kg) a year but over time that builds up. Then having my leg damaged in 2018 and having to sit with my leg up for months and not being able to walk properly till early 2020 really did for me. After that, being confined indoors by Covid lockdowns added to the problem. By late 2020 I was the biggest I've ever been, 95kg or 15 stone. The only way was down and I did very well until March last year, getting down to 74kg (11 stone 9 pounds). The outbreak of the Ukraine war was very distressing, though. It shattered the world order we've had since 1945 and, on top of all the distress of my eczema since 2014 that practically ended my public appearances as Sue, Brexit 2016 that damaged my business, the stress of moving abroad, the isolation and stress of Covid, I've rather felt like giving up. Comfort eating really is a thing. By the end of this May I was back up to 90 kg (14'2").
The above may be dull reading but it explains what's happened and why my weight has yo-yoed for a decade or more.
These last 10 days it's been hot and so I've felt like eating a lot less, and that mainly salads, and I've not drunk any wine or other alcohol (wine is the most fattening thing of all - you might as well drink lard). I've swum every day and I always take a 30-60 minute trip to the shops every day, carrying my shopping back up a steep mountain road. So in those 10 days I've lost 1.7 kg or nearly 4 lb. This is the way to go so may the hot weather continue! I also hope for no new traumas. Especially that. That way I may get back to my proper healthy weight again and enjoy those cute little dresses I still keep in the hope they'll fit once more.
2008 - optimal weight and shape (although I did have a corset on)
Hope and pride
I was delighted to hear that Milan Pride, Italy, attracted an estimated 300,000 attendees. The city's population is 1.3 million so that is a H-U-U-U-GE turnout.
I'm also happy to say that much of the press in Italy - notably the Gedi Group, that publishes quality daily newspapers and science magazines, and the fashion press like Elle - are resolutely generous towards the reporting of LGBT issues and let the community speak for themselves. But then I have noticed that the Italian media are much freer and less hostile than the British press I used to know.
On the down side, I am upset that Queerpoint Makeover Studio in St Petersburg, Russia, that did makeovers and shopping trips for TGirls, and seemed to be spearheading a Russia where it was OK to be out and trans, has shut down most of its online presence. With the inhuman repression of LGBT people as Putin's war and other failures need more scapegoats, I hope they can keep themselves and their clients safe.
A dip in the archives
Another photo from Sparkle Festivals past. This one taken in Canal Street, Manchester, in 2015. Happy days.
Today is World Chocolate Day and this post is something like a box of half a dozen little morsels that I hope will be tasty.
Allegedly, July 7th is the day, in 1550, when chocolate was first brought to Europe from the New World. I suspect this is just marketing guff and no-one has a clue when the first shipload of cocoa beans, cocoa paste or whatever it was first landed. You get these tall tales from PR people peddling food, like the one about Marco Polo introducing pasta to Italy, which he'd brought all the way from China. Presumably with a jar of Dolmio sauce!
Anyway, I shall be celebrating World Chocolate Day. I tend to celebrate it every day!
La Bulle
I've been reading a lot about a new refuge set up in the heart of Paris a few weeks ago with the support of the city council. It's a centre that is home to seven LGBT+ charities and provides a safe space for socialising and enjoying communal meals, with medical and legal help and even clothing where needed. It includes XY Media, a media station with dedicated studio for the M2F trans community.
Most significantly, some of the organisations associated with it provide help to LGBT people in countries where being gay or trans is illegal or very dangerous, working to help bring young LGBT people to France for their safety. Getting through French immigration is not easy at the best of times (been there, done that, and it's a slog even with assistance) and although it may take time and several attempts, the one thing that gay or trans people from abroad said they appreciated most was the fact that the French government and people accept that you are gay or straight, trans or cis without issue, which is not the case where they originate from. The French may not want so many foreigners living in France, but at least they take them for who they are.
I hope this centre thrives.
Sparkle
It's the Sparkle transgender celebration in Manchester this weekend and I wish all the trans people there and their families and friends a good time.
I found this previously unpublished photo today, from Sparkle ten years ago, showing me with Jemma and Zazoo. It's a nice reminder of the fun we had in those days. This was in the Molly House pub.
Sad, though, to note my beloved friend Kate in my report of Sparkle 2013. She passed away in April this year.
Pretty thing of the week
I have some chicory growing in a pot. It was planted during the campaign by our local paper for readers to grow a kitchen garden during the Covid lockdowns, and the paper provided seeds every week. This chicory didn't get cooked last year and this week it has put out the prettiest pale blue-purple, almost lilac, flowers. They open by day and close in the evening into a dusty-pink trumpet. Who knew?
Stay cool
This week the world has beaten the all-time temperature records. I tolerate heat well and it's never too crazy here (about 30C or 86F in July). July is also my favourite month of the year, with its long days, balmy evenings and warm sunshine. Nevertheless, taking it gently is the way forward till things cool down. I am blessed with both an attractive swimming pool and the seashore very close by and that is where I shall be a lot of the time this summer.
Now that my friends have gone, I want to try out all my new makeup, but the heat is not conducive to water-based makeup or a big wig. We'll see if I can manage a really good effort on my makeup soon, though.
Red
Thanks for comments on my last post on whether red suits me. More comments are welcome. I shall try being bolder and brighter more often.
I've always had a thing for pink. If I didn't, this blog wouldn't be written in pink ink, would it?
But a female friend of mine has often commented that I actually look good in red. My mother looks good in red and I often feel I look a bit too much like her, but she has the advantage of having jet black hair whereas mine is dark brown and my wigs tend to be based on chestnut hues.
What do you think? Here are some photos that have sparked my friend's comments.
If you're wondering, I look very much like my mother in this pic:
I usually wear pink or floral prints or black but I'm now wondering if red is something I should go for more. It draws more attention, but you also need to pick items that are most complimentary to yourself, too. I recall going to the Boudoir dressing service many years ago now and being told that I should go for shorter skirts and the reason is that I am short (5'4" or 163cm) so longer skirts make me look shorter, shorter ones make me look taller (and don't forget the heels!)
So I'm always ready to take advice to look better and comments are very welcome. Take a look at my photo gallery here for comparison with other outfits: Gallery
Pride Month
I won't post much on Pride month just ended other than to say that we need a lot more than just a month to make our rights and existence known. Although these Pride events do go on for much of the summer, it's true. The more the better, frankly.
I was sorry to see that Marseilles Pride in France at the weekend had to be cancelled at the last minute because the police pulled out since they were, they say, needed to quell rioters, although I can't help feeling that their prejudice against immigrants is also showing in a more subtle way against the LGBT+ community. What better way to reduce tension in a big city than a big colourful parade all about tolerance, with the police acting merely as stewards?
Anyway, the Guardian newspaper in the UK has some pictures from London Pride last weekend that are colourful and fun:
