First friends

I take an epicurean view of life (if you hadn't yet noticed). I avoid needless pain, am not oppressed by religious or political affiliations, enjoy what's enjoyable and, above all, have friends who make me happy.

Yesterday was an important day: I met up again with some of the very first friends I made when I started going out as a T-Girl: Tiff and Mrs Tiff, two very lovely, humane and generous people; my fabulous friend Ange who is the first T-Girl I ever met (and is something of a T sister to me as we joined Angels on the same day and have so many shared experiences); Gayna Starr, who was really encouraging and something of a role model my early days; and Maddy Watson and Joanne Durkin, two stunning girls who are delightful company.

We also met up with Tina Natalie Scott, a very nice and chatty local girl who is starting to get out and about, and the gorgeous and friendly Tanya Williams. All these people are great and I love them to bits for having been so quick to befriend me. It was a shame that I couldn't stay in Milton Keynes and go to Pink Punters, so I missed Bobby and Mrs Bobby whom I meet regularly. Absent friends must also include Emma Walkey, Evie James and Josie Safir - but they were there in spirit.

I just wanted to thank my friends for being so ... well, friendly! I know I wouldn't have got so far in my life as a T-Girl without their love and support.

So, thank you, girls. You mean so very much to me. As do the dozens of other friends I've made in the last couple of years of being out as a T-Girl. I'm having the time of my life simply because of all the encouragement that T-Girls share between them.

Sue x

I should start a restaurant column!

Now, I like my food. And my drink. Yesterday, I had a lot of both! I'm thinking that maybe all this blurb on this blog about where I've been and what I've eaten should go into a blog of its own.

Lunch with Andrea at the usual Bistro 1, Frith St. The quality/value ratio is second to none anywhere. E. Med slant with British and French options.

For dinner, I'd recommend La Petite Auberge, Upper St, Islington. A very good, romantic, French restaurant which I went to with Joanne. My mushroom, garlic and cheese starter was not bad - and Joanne's duck and foie gras was very good. The rabbit stew was superb and the chocolate mousse was THE VERY BEST have EVER tasted ... and I know my chocolate desserts. The Cotes du Rhone to wash it down with was not at all bad. The staff were suitably attentive, the loos are pleasant, the company was very relaxed and the Londoner and his French girlfriend at the next table were very friendly. A lovely girly night out.

3 course dinner and wine £35 a head. You may need to book. Nearest tubes: Angel (Northern Line) and Highbury & Islington (Victoria Line, Overground).

Sue x

Lunching, and other depravities

   Well, what a fun weekend last weekend was. Anna came to stay for two nights and we had planned various outings in London. On Friday we started our day at the South Bank, firstly with a coffee at Vergnano’s by the Royal Festival Hall. They really do make the best coffee in London. However, I was irritated and surprised in such an upmarket establishment, that the woman before me in the ladies, who’d made some general remarks in my direction about there being too many gents cubicles and insufficient ladies cubicles, had peed all over the seat and not flushed either. And they say men are like that! They are nice loos, though, despite certain clients! I wonder if she did it deliberately as an anti-trans statement? I will assume she was just a dirty person.

   We strolled round the German-style Christmas market by the Millennium footbridges which is very pretty and merits a closer look when there’s more time. Then we walked to Soho to eat at Bistro 1 in Frith Street where I had booked a table. Our friends Irene and Helena joined us. The food was good as ever, and great value, and the wine was decent. Anna and I went with Irene to the Institute of Contemporary Arts (ICA) on the Mall where the exhibition was, I’m sorry to say, the worst of pretentious modern art. Oh, well, at least we had a dose of culture!

   Irene left us and Anna and I went to Covent Garden to look at the market stalls – I get so much of my jewellery there. We also dropped into Charles Fox for makeup. Anna had never been to the Kurt Geiger shop on the corner of Covent Garden piazza and James Street, so we had to go in. She loved the mirrors and I loved the bargain pale grey ankle boots that I just had to buy. We were aiming for Oxford Street but I needed a rest so we stopped at Lick in Greek St for a cup of tea. The gorgeous-looking ice creams would have been tempting on a warmer day. Susan Sometimes texted me and she was, incredibly, at Cambridge Circus just round the corner so she met us there. Café Boheme, which Susan suggested, was quite full so instead we went to the downstairs bar at the Curzon cinema on Shaftesbury Avenue and ended up spending three hours there as it was so enjoyable just nattering and sipping strawberry cider, amaretto, winter warmer cider … perfect! Such a simple and relaxing day, yet we did a lot.

   On Saturday I had to work but we’d decided to go to the Way Out Club in the City of London that evening. Now, this is one of the few London trans clubs and, as I’ve never visited any, this was an Important Event, like I was now going to qualify for my tranny license at last!

   We got there quite early, about 10.45 p.m., so got in cheap and got our complimentary cocktail (which is, as Helena had warned, like orange squash with a tiny drop of vodka). Oh, well, never turn down a freebie! The bar staff are pretty efficient there, to be fair. Irene was there and later my friends Joanne and Michelle joined us. The club isn’t a patch on somewhere like Pink Punters, and the ‘admirers’ really are the scrapings of the barrel. Dear God! What a bunch of ugly, fat, scruffy, sad losers! The Thai and Filipino girls there do, however, put the rest of us to shame for their fabulous looks, and for their charity in talking to the ugly, sad, scruffy, fat losers! (though I suspect most of the ‘admirers’ have to pay for the attention). I quite enjoyed the floor show, Vicky Lee introducing her disabled nephew who made a good ‘sit-down’ comedian, and then two singers, Vicki Vivacious and Vanilla Lush. I thought they were quite good. And had fab legs, of course. It does all have an air of an am dram production, though. Anna and I sat around for a bit looking at outfits, watching spontaneous pole dancing girls and taking photos of each other (hey, we’re T-Girls, what do you expect). I’m glad I went and saw the place, but honestly the tranny clubs in Leeds, Manchester and Milton Keynes are much better.

   On Sunday, Anna and I went our separate ways home. Mid-afternoon, though, I went out again to the Cambridge pub on Cambridge Circus where Joanne had agreed to meet me and Michelle. I had a mulled wine, which was just nice on a cold day. We decided to choose a previously untried Soho restaurant at random and went to Piccolo Diavolo in Old Compton Street. The food was OK, but nothing special. The Italian chardonnay, another random choice, was surprisingly good, though. We finished with a warming Irish coffee in a pub just off Southampton Row.

  All in all, a very sociable and nice weekend.

   Many thanks to Anna, Irene, Helena, Susan, Joanne and Michelle for making it such good fun.

Sue x

Barmaids a go-go

London's annual Erotica exhibition at Olympia is a trade show for adult products and anything of related interest (including toffee vodka, wedding dresses, hairclips, designer furniture, wall insulation, home-made sausages ...). There is something of a party atmosphere there, the focus is on women, and visitors are encouraged to dress in something sexy and attractive. This year the organisers wanted to provide a more obvious focus for the LGBT communities, including a transgender bar. T-Girls across the UK jumped at the chance and, after some considerable organising by the very competent Andrea, 6 shifts over 3 days of 7-9 barmaids each plus a couple of glamorous hostesses had been arranged to assist the delightful supervisor Carol and her 3-4 regular bar staff.

 

Erotica T-Girl Bar first shift: left to right, Ria and Stella (hostesses), Mandy, Helena, Andrea (organiser), Amanda, Eve, Jackie, Holly (supervisor), and myself Sue.

After initial nerves and a steep learning curve we soon found ourselves competently pulling pints and chatting with the customers. It wasn't that busy on Friday 18th but on Saturday 19th we did a brisk trade before things quietened again on Sunday 20th. Being in the gallery rather than the main floor didn't help our trade but it seems that the customers were happy with our service. It was tiring and we weren't paid, not even expenses or tips, but it is a tribute to all those who volunteered that most worked over and above their scheduled hours. But what T-Girl can resist being seen and admired in cute outfit? (Yes, we had a uniform of white blouse, black skirt and black court shoes; only the accessories were personalised).

For day 1 I chose a black leather wraparound skirt and satin blouse, for day 2 a short satin skirt with underskirts that billowed out and (ooh la la!) revealed my stocking tops. (Incidentally, so few shops sell stockings these days - the tights revolution is near complete! Like most women, I wear tights all the time now anyway and it's only when there's an event like this that you notice the disappearance of stockings). The outfit on day 2 went down so well that I abandoned what I had previously reserved for day 3 and wore it again (yes, I did wash my blouse and change my stockings!). I found I had to wear high heels at the bar as it was so high that I'd have struggled to serve in flats. But, hey, high heels hold few terrors for me, though being on your feet for hours is the tiring bit no matter what you're wearing. A big thanks to my wonderful friend Angela for lending me both skirts.

Standing in the gallery of the magnificent Great Hall at Olympia in my favourite outfit.

Two friends came to stay with me, Holly and Joanne S, and together we had a great weekend. Obviously, we got a chance to see round the show (strutting down the red-carpeted staircase in our glad rags is something that needed doing more than once) and we were compensated by being given tickets to the Winter Ball on Saturday night. We enjoyed travelling there on the suburban train from home in our fancy outfits, me in my pink ballerina dress, pale pink tights and pink shoes! (pink handbag too), Holly in her very slinky revealing dress and Joanne very cute in her short lacy Goth outfit. Maybe pink frills stood out a bit in a club full of people chiefly in uniforms, black latex and suspenders but, hey, conformity in a club of nonconformists is just wrong!

The public were very enthusiastic about drinking at our bar and the compliments were very uplifting. Our best support came from two traders from the next door antiques fair who latched onto us outside and took Holly, Joanne, Stella, and me to an excellent Lebanese restaurant round the corner, Chez Marcelle. They forgot to give us plates but we were so hungry and the food was so good that we didn't notice! It also gave the kids at the next table something to gawp at!

What an extraordinary experience! Although we were all tired and our feet hurt I think we all agreed we'd be up for it next year. Carol, our supervisor, said we were a delight to work with (as was she and her team of regulars). Word is that the event organisers were so pleased with us that we're very likely to be invited again next year, only this time we'll be on the main floor which should boost our sales and profile.

And I think we're all agreed that, although not entirely a serious thing, the T-Girl bar showed that transgendered people are personable, reliable, hard-working, decent, friendly and humane, which was the whole point for many of us. I think a lot of people at the event left better informed about what being trans is like (it's not just about dressing up as some kind of fetish). And the main thing is that we all had fun (and got fat on the sausages being fried up opposite us). It was also a chance to make new friends. And when a team of people who hardly know each other work so well together you know that friendships are going to blossom.

I'd just like to say particular thanks to Joanne (who helped me with preparing an art show on the Monday), Holly for her strength and inspiration (she went on to go to work as a woman the next week), Stella for being glamorous and entertaining (and chauffeuring us), Helena for being the superstar of the alternative London scene (and for buying me a sweet little cake for my birthday), Andrea for organising us, Carol for supervising us and being lovely and thanks to all the other girls (and boy) there for making it one of the most memorable weekends ever, and the other traders, performers and visitors who were so supportive. 

Me and 'my' girls, Holly and Joanne. You'd buy a drink from these lovely ladies, wouldn't you?


Well, that was my first job as Sue. Maybe it'll help land me a permanent job somewhere!

Sue x

A little holiday

I managed to take a few days out for a quiet little holiday as a woman, staying with another trans friend at her home on the Isle of Wight. It’s the first proper holiday I’ve taken as a woman and it was brilliant.

I’ve only ever spent one day on the island before so it was all fairly unknown to me. Perhaps November is not the best time of year to go but the weather was better than average and there were a couple of lovely sunny, mild days to enjoy the scenery, which is certainly beautiful with its rolling landscape, boats on the tides, thatched houses and glimpses of the sea with ships, forts, cliffs, and the mainland in the distance.

I travelled there by train and ferry with no problems at all and, best of all, was treated with helpfulness and politeness by rail and ferry staff (“thank you, Madam” – and thank you, you nice person). I was also delighted finally be able to squeeze myself (just) into 28”-waist superskinny jeans. My eating regime is working! From the ferry terminal at Ryde my friend drove us home and then we took a grand tour of the island stopping at Brading Down and, after a drive along leafy lanes and through the open and barren landscape of the south coast, the famous Needles at sunset. Wonderful!

 Brading Down, IoW: sea, sun, slopes, superskinny jeans!

A day of girly shopping in Newport was also pleasant. All the shop staff know and love my friend! It’s the sort of local friendliness that’s rarely found in a big city like London. I bought a soft satin blouse that may serve for my barmaid uniform at next week’s Erotica T-Girl bar.

What else? Well, T-girls can hardly resist examining each other’s wardrobes and comparing notes and trying things on. As she and I are pretty much the same size, that was a delight. Her amazing shoe collection puts Imelda Marcos to shame. Especially as, unlike Imelda, these fabulous shoes were all bought with legitimately earned money. I have borrowed two rather fun black skirts for my barmaid uniform, which are better than what I have at home.

We watched the first episode of C4’s new series, My Transsexual Summer, which was pleasing viewing, though I reserve judgment till the end of the series. They certainly seem a nice bunch of guys and gals, and I was glad that the transman contingent pretty much balanced out the transwoman group.

As thanks for her perfect hospitality, I treated my friend to lunch at a beautiful riverside pub, the Folly Inn, overlooking the Medina. The food was really excellent, as was the view of a receding tide with wading birds and boats, all in bright sunlight that shimmered off the water.

I was quite sad to leave the tranquillity and tolerance of the Isle of Wight, but I think I may be returning regularly now. It was a joy to spend four days en femme with no schedule and just relax and be looked after in a calm, quiet location. My batteries have been recharged for the crazy rush to Christmas that London is now gearing up for.

Sue x

Halloween at the Magic Theatre

I’d heard much about this occasional event, Magic Theatre, at the Rivoli Ballroom in South East London and thought it worth going to see what it was all about. The Halloween ball is said to be the biggest event of the year so it seemed like it would afford the best taste of the experience.

I met up with three friends, Joanne, Tiff and Mrs Tiff for a bite to eat, at the Victoria pub in Peckham, where the Halloween theme was being taken seriously. We arrived fairly early at the Rivoli Ballroom. I must look up the history of this venue as it is located in the most unlikely part of London, a quiet suburb, not really anywhere. Why it was built there of all places merits investigation (in a nerdy moment sometime). We were wise to get drinks and a table immediately at one of the bars as it became clearer later in the evening that Rivoli bar queuing may well become an Olympic endurance sport. I heard a rumour that there were 700 people there. Although a Halloween themed ball, it was clear that any reasonable – and preferably flamboyant – outfit was acceptable. The very few people who turned up in jeans stood out badly. Everybody is there largely to check out each other’s efforts in the costume department. Now, I thought that my black satin and net dress with long spiderweb gloves and tights was suitably exotic, but I was pretty underdressed compared to most! I think the devilish Klingons win my prize for best outfit, but there were some gorgeous Frankenstein’s brides, a very sexy black cat, Darth Vader, and plenty of devils who were certainly hot! The place is obviously a magnet for T-girls – honestly, those trannies get everywhere!

It was nice to see other friends there, notably Irene, Stella and Mrs Stella, and also to have a brief word with the lovely Jodie Lynn who helped me with ideas on makeup and clothes in my very early days as a T-girl when I was visiting her Boudoir dressing service.

A live band, burlesque acts, dance music and an after party at the bar down the road made for a fabulous evening. The ladies’ powder room is attractive (but negotiating the loo with all that gear on is an undertaking!) and the cloakroom is efficient enough. I’d had to work during the day (unexpectedly) which meant that I couldn’t keep going as long as the others, which is annoying. 

All in all, an event well worth attending. Next time, though, I shall have to wear something seriously flamboyant! This is just too ordinary!

 Sue x

A fun weekend in London

A friend of mine, Tina, came to stay to do a bit of sightseeing in London. So we went off to Westminster, where there are some sights to see, and saw them. More importantly (and you can see where my priorities always are!) we had a cappuccino at Vergnano’s on the South Bank, where the coffee is always perfect, a drink before lunch at Chandos pub off Trafalgar Square and lunch itself in Bistro One in Frith St where the quality/price ratio is the best anywhere. I can’t do anything unless my stomach is full!

We went home to change into posh frocks for the evening, a good plan in the end as I haven’t worn my best dress for a year and it was great to have an opportunity to do so. Tina loved the view from Waterloo Bridge by night, which is spectacular as you can see Westminster one way and the City and Docklands on the other with the South Bank close by. We met Helena and found a decent pub, Nell of Old Drury opposite the Theatre Royal, and were joined there by Joanne. I’d booked Sarastro’s, a very quirky, fun but good quality restaurant, and managed to get us a balcony table. Had a fantastic dinner (I recommend the duck confit; the lamb Anatolian – i.e. lamb shank - seems to be their signature dish and that’s very good, too). The gypsy band played that evening (some nights they have opera, others jazz) and the girls seemed to enjoy it very much.

Sarastro's restaurant. L to R: Tina, Helena, Joanne and me

Afterwards Joanne took us to the Cambridge pub, which was quite full, and we stood at a table chatting to some young, pretty, female Austrian students. I rather wish I was young, pretty and female (I’d be happy to be Austrian too if that was a condition). Oh well! I try to live that dream in as much as I can.

That was Friday. On Sunday a friend, Grace, came over to dress. It was her first time out and she was inevitably nervous (I can’t say I’m free of nerves myself) but we went to catch the tube by quiet back streets, hardly meeting anyone so she could get used to being out as a woman bit by bit. The first tube train was quiet, the second gradually filled up, and I thought that was a good build up. We had time for a coffee (I really do recommend Vergnano’s, this one in the Charing Cross Road!)

Off to the Cambridge for the official Angels Sunday Lunch. Joanne was working behind the bar. Ange met us there and we had a drink downstairs before venturing up the dining room. The food is good there and the portions are gigantic. The shoulder of lamb that Grace had looked especially filling. My roast duck wasn’t bad. Joanne knocked off at 3 for an hour so we just sat chatting while she ate, then we went for a stroll through Chinatown and Covent Garden. The thing about central London is that most people are concerned with their own business and are not interested in a group of T-girls wandering about, which is one of the many reasons why I love living here. Grace and I had a drink whilst waiting for the tube to empty a bit before venturing home.

I feel privileged to have been asked by another girl to accompany her on her first trip out into the world. Especially when she is such pleasant company. Grace has written at length about this day in her own blog and her assessment of her feelings are something that all T-girls should read, especially those about to venture out for the first time. [Link: Grace: Stepping out the door]

All in all a very nice weekend.

Sue x

 

Hell Bunny dress

Sometime one promises oneself something and it takes for ever to get round to it. But this time I've fufilled a promise, which was to buy a Hell Bunny dress, a style which I love. I suppose it's not happened yet as I've had no reason to buy. But now I've got tickets to the Magic Theatre hallowe'en ball I've had the perfect excuse. I spotted this beautiful item at Camden Lock and I knew I had to have it. It fits perfectly. Mmmm!!! Now for some spider web tights and gloves.

Sue x

That ache

It is often hard to describe feelings and emotions, but I shall try to explain what goes through my head and heart when I see an attractive woman.

The male inclination in me wants to talk to her, maybe ask her out, wonder what she's like to hold, kiss, make love to ... So far, so typically male. But the female side of me is also working furiously and wants to know where she got her clothes, is her makeup working, whether she'd make a good friend ... And then there's the transgender wonderings: what is it like to be her? how I could become like her?

The feelings don't compete, but in a way compliment each other. Yet the ache that these feelings cause, particularly the strong ache that makes me wish to be accepted as a woman like her, can be truly terrible, distressing my mind and searing my chest.

Being transgendered is very bittersweet.

Sue x

So little time!

I haven't posted for nearly two weeks. Have I nothing to say?

Er, no. Rather the opposite. It's just that time seems to be at a premium for everything these days. There's so much that I'd like to do, yet time is something that has to be parcelled out carefully. I've no idea what the solution is, unless it involves higher dimensions, or dumping some interests. Bah!

Sue x