The Femmathon concluded: everyday life

"I suspect that no-one who isn't trans understands the complete satisfaction of doing normal stuff in one's real gender. It's the banality that's actually the peak of feeling complete."

This is what I wrote in 2017 about the satisfaction of shopping as a woman (The Joy of Shops).

In the last two weeks I've been talking about the period when I tested the waters of living full-time female. Going out on day trips and visiting trans festivals, as I've described, is great fun but it's not the everyday, humdrum life that living in one's right gender entails. Indeed, because many trans people's opportunities to go out dressed may be limited at first and so quite special, there's often a party feel to a lot of the trans-based activities we do, and that can give trans people a false sense that transitioning to the right gender will be a whole bunch of partying. It isn't: life is life, and partying is actually a treat.

So after my week with Emma and friends, I mainly got down to buying groceries in my local high street and staying mainly in the neighbourhood. I was still wary of the neighbours seeing me as I left the house, but generally it felt natural and right to be living as a woman, just getting on with my own life and feeling really happy about it. 

I also spent a couple of days indoors, largely to give my face a rest from close shaving and makeup, neither of which do my skin any good. I may not look good when I'm not dolled up, but if there's no-one to see me, what does it matter?

Overall, the satisfaction of living full-time as myself for over a fortnight was incredible. Best time of my life. For the rest of summer 2011 I spent most of my time as Sue, apart from the 2-3 days a week I was at my part-time job or needed to see family or friends who didn't know about my being trans. And a similar pattern continued for another year or so, after which I began to feel that full transition wasn't right for me.

It's an approach I'd recommend. Take it slowly in small stages and consolidate as you go. 

 

A dip in the archives

There was one more fun day during this first Femmathon (or perhaps in the light of the above, Femmathon phase 1) and that was a trip to Kew Gardens with Petra and Joanne. A mix of science facility and pleasure ground, Kew was always a joy to visit and I took many friends there over the years. Indeed, I went back a couple of weeks after this, with Dee.

Petra, Joanne and myself enjoyed wandering through the grounds. We took a picnic lunch and spent most of the day there. Three trans women surrounded by flowers and greenery on a sunny day near the River Thames. That's got to be good.

By Kew Palace

Petra in front of the iconic Palm House

Girls in a bower

You've seen this one before but I've always liked it so you're having it again! The Queen's Garden, with two princesses.

Sue x

Cari lettori italiani

Oggi finisco questa serie sul mio primo periodo esteso come donna, dieci anni fa. Non sono mai stata così contenta che quando vivevo in questo modo, alzandomi ogni giorno e dicendomi "tu sei una donna e vivrai come la donna che sei". Era bellissimo.

Sue x