Thursday, 14 January 2021

Recognition

 Thanks again to Anuj and his team at Feedspot for including my blog in their "Top 100 Transgender Blogs" for another year. I notice that Sue's News and Views is also listed among their "Top 50 Trans Woman Blogs, Websites and Influencers" as well. 

Click on the medal (right) or the links below for this useful resource and to see the other listed blogs, vlogs, forums and journals that all offer an authentic examination of trans life, whether personal or general.

Top 100 Transgender Blogs

Top 50 Transwoman Blogs 

You can also link to some of their recommended blogs on my blogroll on the right: YATGB, Femulate, Hannah McKnight, Male Femme, From "Me" to "Mandy" (and Mandy's Miscellany), KD's Blog (and KD's Life and Ramblings). The Bobbysox Blog is one of Feedspot's Top 70 Crossdressing Blogs (Top 70 Crossdressing Blogs). All highly recommended (or they wouldn't be here!)

Thanks also to other umbrella sites like T-Central, a similarly useful but wholly trans-related listing of active blogs and other resources:

T-Central 

In a world where, just for example, three-quarters of news on Covid-19 has been found to be false or misleading, resources like this serve to provide links to the genuine lived experience of trans people or their parents, help from allies and reports by responsible media organisations. A much needed injection of truth in an online and media world that's often distorted.

So, thanks for the accolades, Feedspot. 

Just think, I now have more online presence then even the President of the United States! 😉

 

Updating

I've been planning for a while to include a proper gallery of photos to this blog, various updates and links to more resources. More news on that as it happens.


A dip in the archives

Here's a photo from late autumn 2010 when I went out in Milton Keynes, UK, with friends. Later that evening we went to Pink Punters nightclub, which was a good venue for TGirls to meet at. We went there quite a lot in our early days out. Fun times.

(l-r) Maddy, Josie, Dee, Sandy, Bobby, Tiff, Gayna, Ange, Jo and me
 

Sue x


Cari lettori italiani

Sono contenta che questo blog sia stato di nuovo selezionato tra i migliori in lingua inglese. In un mondo ormai dominato dai "fake news", vi presento invece le mie vere esperienze vissute da donna e i miei sentimenti e pensieri sinceri sulla vita transgender, senza falsità. 

Pensate, in questo momento ho una presenza sul web più diffusa e rispettata persino di quella del presidente degli Stati Uniti!

Sue x

 


Monday, 11 January 2021

Which half of the woman?

 The classic stage magician trick of sawing a woman in half is 100 years old this week and Britain's Magic Circle has a celebration that you can view online this coming Sunday. More info in this article: Sawing People in Half

I'd have thought the trick was older, but apparently not. When I was little we had a bookcase near the dining table that had all the odd-sized and unusual books that didn't seem to go anywhere else. One of these was Hopkins' Magic, a Victorian manual on stage illusions. It was fascinating and not a little creepy as men in top hats and moustachios did apparently dangerous stuff to becorseted ladies. Some of the more memorable pictures are below

 


Aimée the Human Fly. I always felt more secure when I turned the book upside down.

Creepy clown executioner. No sleep for you tonight, kiddie.


The levitating lady

The disappearing lady, still visible

The disappearing lady ... disappears

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My mind is keen to see the coming Magic Circle show, but my legs have just walked out in protest!

This news did make me wonder, then as now, whether if you cut a trans person in half would you get one bit that's male and one bit that's female? The answer is, I think, no, despite the trans experience sometimes being presented that way. How male or female we feel fluctuates, as I've often said before; we experience an irregular tide of dysphoria. Whether you feel neither male nor female, or both at once, or only one gender, or mixed is something that varies between each of us, and varies for each one of us over time. My femininity is important to me, and when I present female I go the whole hog, as it were. Because of skin problems, I've had at times been unable to wear makeup, but presenting as a sort of androgynous person doesn't work for me in that it's not 'me'. When I have to present as male I do wear clothing sold in the women's departments, but I'm acting male and expecting to be taken as such. Frankly, being trans is messy. No neat divisions like Paul Daniels achieves on stage. For me it really has to be the whole Debbie McGee for me to feel 'right'. It'll be different for you. 

By the way, nice costume. (Oh, this old thing!)


A hug to the suffering

I can't pass over the ongoing suffering occasioned by Covid-19 and if you are struggling in any way I am sending you a hug. 

I am upset by the additional suffering caused to so many by bad governments and malign leaders. It takes quite an effort to be rid of these people. I wish there were easy answers.


A dip in the archives

Continuing the Victorian theme above, you may like this illustrated article on Victorian gender fluidity.

Gender fluid Victorians

 

Cari lettori italiani

Oggi chiedo se si può dividere una persona transgender in parti uguali, maschio e femmina. Non credo, perché (almeno per me) la nostra percezione della nostra maschilità e femminilità fluttua tanto. Per me è importante essere trattato come una donna quando mi presento da donna e, benché io sia sempre trans, mi sento completa solo quando mi si può distinguere come donna.

 

Sue x

 

 

Thursday, 7 January 2021

Stockings (of sorts) and other leg styles

I pulled down my stocking and found ... some sweets!

Well, it wasn't a proper stocking, it was an Epiphany stocking, like a Christmas stocking but redeemable on January 6th. In a lot of countries Epiphany is a public holiday and commemorates the story of the three kings bringing gifts to baby Jesus, hence the sweets. Here in Italy it used to be that kids got their presents delivered into their stockings on Twelfth Night by a kindly witch called Befana, rather than by Santa Claus on Christmas Eve. Naturally, the Americanised Christmas has taken over and Befana is a now lesser gift to end the Christmas season.

I've been in France several times in January and they have rather a nice tradition of an Epiphany dinner ending with an almond cake that contains a bean (usually made of porcelain) and whoever gets the bean in their slice gets to be queen or king of the festivities and chooses a queen or king consort.

Fellow bloggerette Lynn was complaining of the long road through January, but in Britain and more secular countries all the winter festivals bar Christmas and New Year have been lost, whereas here we have December 8th, January 6th and a host of other major public events, from carnival (February 14th - 16th this year), the music festival (March 2nd - 6th), the cycle race (March 20th), before easter comes. Less chance for boredom and winter blues to set in.

So I'm sorry if you clicked on my post hoping to see me in sexy stockings ... you'll have been disappointed. However, I also had a query about leggings and will do a leggings lookbook soon, but I would like to put up photos for the friend who asked to see how a short dress works with and without them. It's a style that was especially popular 5-10 years ago, a little less so now, but still perfect for spring and summer.

 

Long-sleeved tee and leggings. Simple but effective.



The same dress with light leggings/footless tights
Black floral dress with sheer tights


 

 

 


 

 

 

Floral dress with leggings
The same floral dress with sheer tights
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For me this was something of a signature look at the time.

 

Musical interlude: Prisoner of Gender

Much as I would like to comment on the world situation, it would be better to keep this post more relevant to a trans blog as, quite frankly, I'm sure most readers are more than fed up by what's going on. 

This song, "Prisoner of Gender" by Adèle Anderson of the Fascinating Aida trio, has been in my mind this week:

Prisoner of Gender

The introductory speech by Dillie Keane on Adèle's bravery in being publicly out about her trans status and the trust within the group is worth listening to as well as the song.


A dip in the archives

Lots of past photos above, but given that, until today, there was nothing but heavy rain from New Year on, I thought I'd put up this picture from three years ago. The rain's all right if you cover up! But this was taken in London, where rain is all part of the winter traditions (and the summer ones too!)

 

Cari lettori italiani

 Volevo parlare un po' della situazione internazionale ma sono sicura che ne siete già proprio stanchi. Dunque oggi ho deciso di condividere delle foto, e parlare un po' delle tradizioni che non esistono nel mondo inglese. Pensate, in Inghilterra non c'è nemmeno un giorno di festa e nessun evento tra capodanno e pasqua. L'inverno è lungo lì!

 

Sue x

Monday, 4 January 2021

The new and the ongoing

 

 Happy New Year! 

I hope 2021 is good for you. OK, I know the world is not functioning normally because of this pandemic so there's a lot of hope in that wish, but I think we all feel things are going to improve.

Stay safe, get vaccinated when available and don't listen to the ignorant. I've just read a novel* set around 1630 when plague devastated Europe. And how was it combated? By social distancing, by quarantine, by restricting travel and avoiding assemblies. Tried and tested methods. They didn't have such effective medicines or any vaccines, but we do, so get vaccinated. Any risks from a vaccine are far lower than the long-term, deadlier risks from this disease.

* I Promessi sposi (The Betrothed) by Alessandro Manzoni (1842), possibly the most famous novel written in Italian, set in the Duchy of Milan in 1628-30. It tells of wedding plans interrupted by the scheming of a local nobleman and what happened as a result. A beautiful story beautifully told.

 

Resolutions

I'm sticking with my New Year Resolution from 1997: I am a trans woman and every day I embrace my femininity in some tangible way. I dress as a woman, wear perfume, paint my nails, read women's magazines and chick lit, go out or online as Sue, decorate my home with flowers and pretty things, etc. Whatever the world says, or much of my body might suggest, I am a woman and I manifest it every day. I wrote about this resolution here:

Those biggest resolutions

Here's the photo I've chosen for my 2021 avatar:

 

Blog

Last year, like a lot of people, I had far more time to write my blog and I see that increase continuing in 2021. In mid-2019 I did wonder if there was scope for an English language trans blog from someone who no longer lived in an English-speaking country. But there is a lot to talk about in terms of trans news and a lot that I have wanted to write about and have never managed to. In this 700th anniversary of Dante's death I might tackle the subject that is still painful even half a lifetime later, which is the religious pressures I had on my trans life as a young person. Not exactly a Divine Comedy, it has to be said.

 

The third ring of the seventh circle of Hell in Dante's universe, where the "violent against nature" are rained on by fire. Although not specified, it is the most likely place where transgender people end up after death according to late medieval Christian theology. The Abrahamic religions have progressed a little since 1300 but there is still a very long way to go. One of Gustave Doré's famous set of 19th Century illustrations for The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri of Florence (1265-1321).
 

And talking of great Italians, I am getting (indeed, have always had) some readers from Italian speaking countries and will be adding a paragraph in Italian at the end of my blog entries. I've been living in Italy for over two years now.


A dip in the archives

I thought I'd share a post from January 2012 by way of complete contrast with January 2021 when going out is difficult. Not dissimilar to my description of sales shopping with friends in my last post, this includes a trip to the cinema. This shows how comfortable I had become living life as a woman and doing normal stuff.

First outing of the year

 

Cari lettori italiani 

 Vi auguro un felice anno nuovo. Speriamo che nel 2021 tutto vada veramente bene, soprattutto con l'eliminazione di questa malattia che ci ha fatto tanto tribolare. 

Aggiungerò qualche paragrafo in italiano ad ogni pagina futura, però questo rimarrà un blog scritto per la maggior parte in inglese. Chiedetemi pure spiegazioni nei commenti.

Fra poco aggiornerò la pagina biografica ("About") con dettagli su di me in italiano. Per adesso, basta dire che sono una ragazza transgender che si è spostata da Londra alla Provincia di Imperia, che cerca amiche e che vorrebbe anche qualche consiglio sulla vita transgender in Italia.

 

Sue x

Thursday, 31 December 2020

2020, what a contrast!

 My last post every year is usually a summary of my life as a trans woman in that year. Last year was too difficult and transitional (not in a gender sense!) to warrant a comment. But this year has been bizarre beyond belief. Not just for me but for every person on earth.

Who hasn't now been affected by the death through Covid of someone they themselves knew, or hasn't lost earnings or even their livelihood or business because of the economic effects of lockdown, or been isolated from friends, family and community, or just been sick with this bug themselves? What can I say? A hug to you, which I would give willingly if it were possible to touch one another. For my part, I've had little work, face-to-face contact with just one relative and seen no friends all year. 

I'm quite gregarious as a rule but, thanks to the nature of my work, I tolerate solitude quite well. But I'd have preferred a different situation!

I think 2021 will be different, must be different. Even without a vaccine, the pandemic would eventually peter out, but the sooner normality can return, the better off we will all be.

So as for my year, I've not been out en femme at all, but that's the case with almost all TGirls who aren't full-time, transitioning or transitioned. But I am almost always dressed en femme, more androgynously if I am outdoors and more obviously when at home. Occasionally I get out my camera, as I have done a few times this year, and it's been good to make the effort.




Mostly, though, I have been reminiscing in this blog on the amazing time ten years ago when I finally made my first proper steps as a woman in the big wide world. Those posts seem to have been very popular and links to those posts are below if you'd like to reread my experiences:

Overture: big anniversary (my first night out) 

1: My baptism of fire

2: The Great Drag Race

3: Getting out the front door

4: Hair and makeup

5: Sparkle: finding my tribe

6: First steps in trans living, conclusion 

I'll shortly be continuing my reminiscences on what happened later in 2010-11 as I considered transition. My Dip in the Archives today is a final tribute to that amazing year of 2010. The world seemed to be my oyster - what a contrast to 2020! I dare say anyone else would say the same of 2020, if for different reasons. As I said above, 2021 will be better. 

Here's a photo I took just this morning of the sunny horizon as seen from my new home. Symbolic? Or corny? Whatever, I wish you all good things in the year to come.


A dip in the archives

Ending 2010 was a lot of fun. Emma, she of the first two posts linked to above, came to stay with me and we went shopping in London, catching the train from my home. We enjoyed a morning coffee in Vergnano's in the Charing Cross Road, London's best coffee shop.


 We hit the shops around Carnaby Street, still a lively part of town.

 

When it was lunchtime we met Helena at Bistro 1 in Beak Street, Soho (sadly gone now, it was always good value with friendly service). We had a leisurely meal and a good chat.


Emma and I went on to the major stores of Oxford Street, Regent Street and Bond Street (the green set on your Monopoly board), where the winter sales were on. A lot of the Christmas decorations and illuminations caught our attention that year.


When our feet grew tired we went to a pub, the Mason's Arms in Maddox Street, Mayfair, and made some new friends.


And we finished our day at La Tasca Spanish restaurant off Oxford Street.


That was a great day out, just women looking for bargains in the shops and eating out together. It was a manifestation of our new-found confidence in being TGirls about town. Happy times!

Sue x


Sunday, 27 December 2020

Food interlude

Anti-Covid rules meant that the Christmas weekend had to be spent indoors and so as not to get bored I made sure much of my time was spent preparing food. All too often nowadays we end up being too busy to take time over our meals, balancing ingredients to get the taste we like best and then savouring our creation. It's too easy on a working day to get a microwave meal, a takeaway, or just do something simple. Even eating out relies on someone else's selection of ingredients. It's been a long time since I really concentrated on cooking, something I used to do well and then got lazy about.

As I'm living on the shores of the Ligurian Sea I thought I'd try to incorporate as many local delicacies in my Christmas preparations as I could. It's too mountainous for farms so any meat is rabbits, small birds or game; mostly, though, people eat fish. I don't like to cook fish at home, though, because of the smell in a largely open-plan apartment, and although the hob is high-tech, I don't have an oven. So for my main meals I selected birds that could be cooked in a pan, and local produce, especially pasta, olives, lemons, wines, basil and other herbs.

Here are some of the results, all successful, I'm pleased to say. 

Guineafowl peasant style, with Taggiasca olives

Poussin with lemon

Tortellini (filled pasta) from Genoa in broth

Selection of cured meat and salami

Chocolate 'salami' (I didn't make this). The white flakes are biscuit.

Pandolce, part way between bread and cake, with raisins in. Very nice.

Local sparkling wine, from Albenga

I am now officially overweight and, as I've said so many times before, diet starts tomorrow!

A dip in the archives

Here's a Christmas photo from this date 11 years ago, when I hadn't yet got out in public. 

I'm not quite sure how I achieved that bust - I never managed it again! Pity!

Sue x

 

Friday, 25 December 2020

Merry Christmas

 On this strangest of Christmas days let me wish you a peaceful holiday season. I hope you can relax a bit and enjoy some home time even though it may be very different from usual for you.

I'm on my own but I will be busy ... eating!

Here's a local delicacy, a pandolce, a soft sweet cake with fruit that I look forward to tasting later. I'll let you know how it went!

Sue x 


 

Wednesday, 23 December 2020

A need for Christmas comedy

I wonder what historians of the future will call this year? I used to live in London where 1665 is still referred to as the Plague Year. A similarly uncomfortable title for 2020 might well be used in the 24th century!

As much of the world closes down for Christmas, not for fun but to prevent the spread of disease and the breakdown in state health services, I can only wish you a holiday period that's not too miserable or stressful. And to think I usually grumble at having a cold in December and that preparing for Christmas is stressful!

I'm settling down for two weeks of limited activity when outdoor movement is restricted by law, but I am pleased to say that I got my fridge filled and have decorations to keep me cheerful and plenty to keep me amused. One other time I spent Christmas on my own and hated it, but this year I'm actually looking forward to doing some serious cooking and to the entertainment on TV. I intend to watch plenty of comedy - somehow, violent or dramatic fare so often on the box seems unsuitable viewing.

For tasters, here's British stand-up comic Eddie Izzard, who has just asked to be referred to as "she". Having always been gender-fluid and a verbal rambler, it's hard to know if this is a state of permanence, but I'm happy to call her by her desired pronouns and am also glad that we have another respected high-profile trans person like her out there.

Eddie Izzard: Death Star canteen

Quite by coincidence, this evening marks the 50th anniversary of the first broadcast of one of the best-loved comedy songs, "Ernie the Fastest Milkman in the West" by Benny Hill. Like many, I used to think Benny Hill was just a dirty old man but now I realise that, far from it, he was a comedic genius of wide-ranging talent and great sensitivity whose female characters were played straight and where women were, in fact, very strong as opposed to the often immature men around them. Here's the original version of what became a no 1 hit song in the UK and Australia in 1971, first shown on 23 December 1970 (in black and white because of a technicians' strike, a hallmark of those times that were awkward too).

Ernie, the Fastest Milkman in the West

Enjoy.

I'll be back on Christmas Day with proper seasonal greetings. Till then...

A dip in the archives

Here's my Christmas post from four years ago... the sentiments are the same and the photo is one I like.

Christmas 2016 

 Sue x

 


Friday, 18 December 2020

Crazy Christmas

 Now, I'd been planning to write a post about transition and another about trans actors (inspired by Elliott Page) and another about ... well, it doesn't matter because instead I have ended up spending my time rushing to get Christmas sorted before the next sudden lockdown, which I am sure is a situation much of the world finds itself in. With the likelihood of being unable to leave home over the long Christmas and New Year weekends, I have needed to get my fridge filled. The prospect of living off tinned food, rice and pasta in the store cupboard is too much! A First World Problem you might say, but - let's face it - Christmas time is a bit special and festivities are essential for cheering up the winter gloom.

I've always given myself a little gift at Christmas. Before I was out and about it was in the form of "from him to her", but now I simply shop for myself. It's a time to treat yourself to something unusual and feminine, such as perfume or pretty lingerie or nightwear or party hosiery, or some jewellery. I'm not sure if I'll now have the time for a little something like that this year, what with having unexpectedly to stuff the fridge for 8+ days of home cooking, but we'll see.

Just to illustrate the situation, here's an unusual Christmas decoration I found on the road into town. It's about 20 feet high and I assumed it was a stylised bushy Christmas tree ... but now I reckon it represents a bunch of festive coronaviruses rearing up and ready to strike! 

 


Stay safe and well out there this winter.

A dip in the archives

Here's a very popular post from December 2013 all about Christmas shopping in London, meals with friends, and a seasonal trip to Pink Punters nightclub. A very different world from 2020! Enjoy.

The rotating glass elevator ... 


Sue x

 


 

Friday, 4 December 2020

Winter boots lookbook

 I ought to do more in the way of fashion blogging - it's always been more popular here than my posts on the state of society!

Winter is coming and, although I chose to move to somewhere mild, we had snow on the nearby mountaintops the other day. So I will talk about my favourite winter accessory, which is knee-length boots.

 

Not only stylish, they also keep me warm and dry, which I confess has always been essential to me.

When I visited a dressing service before stepping out into the real world, my dresser advised me that a short girl like me would do better to stick to shoes and a shorter skirt. Emphasising more leg would make me seem taller, which is a fair point. And this is one of her suggested looks, which is pretty great if I say so myself.

 


The one problem is a practical one: this is fine for mild, dry weather but come winter I cannot get away with short skirts and sheer tights. I feel the cold intensely and miserably and - even at the risk of Snow White here being mistaken for one of her dwarf friends - I will not hesitate to lengthen the skirt, thicken the tights and pull my warm boots on. Besides, I've always preferred boots to shoes as a style statement ... so that's a clincher.

Over the years I've owned many pairs, some cheap and some pricey. Cheap ones are made to last a season or two but some have gone on for years. Generally, I find black matt leather the most versatile, but suede or patent leather have their place, and grey and tan can be very stylish if matched with the right outfit. I've never owned bright colours as they tend to work only when clubbing, whereas I am very much a women about town and prefer to blend in. But if Michelle Obama's Balenciaga sequinned overknees astound you, or Daphne's lilac go-go boots in Scooby Doo are your thing, or you're aching to be a Space Vixen in glitter boots, then by all means go for it. They might save your life, after all. *

I prefer boots to reach just below the knee. I have had several over-the-knee boots which, on the whole, are for the party scene although they come and go out of fashion and can work well with skinny blue jeans if you're out and about.

Here's my latest pair. Mid-price real leather in black, with a half zip and three-and-a-half inch tapered heel, which is my favourite heel style). My only small complaint is that the pointed toe pinches just a little, especially with tights.

Teamed with ribbed cashmere tights for winter

 

Tapered heel
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These replace a much-loved, cheap but very long-lived pair in fake leather with a full zip that I had to have reheeled many times since I wore them so often. Here those are with a short skirt, diamond winter tights and winter coat, and then with black leggings and light coat. As you can see, they work well with both formal and informal styles.




In black leather I have also had some three-quarter length pairs that somehow don't work so well. This pair have insufficient lining on the heel so it gets painful after you've walked for a few hours. That's the cheapness showing, but a very pricy pair I have are painful as they pinch. It's a difficult balance sometimes between comfort, style and price.


My favourite suede boots were this style below. They were cheap so I got them in grey, that lasted well, and black, that didn't! Why one and not the other, I cannot say.

They worked well with the same blue dress as in the last photo and especially well with a heather-toned tarten miniskirt I had, here with ribbed tights.




I have some faux-crocodile boots in black but, sadly, have no photos of what are actually a very stylish pair, and they are currently in storage. I have, however, been sufficiently photographed in my stretch patent leather boots that are really comfortable and were very fashionable in the mid to late Noughties as office wear. They are not a little sexy, too, and I've often worn them on party nights.

With neon tights and leather mini in the New Foresters, Nottingham

Girls' Big Night Out at Pink Punters nightclub, with red tartan mini and sheer black gloss tights
 

Ah, well... nice legs, shame about the face (I heard that somewhere). 

The ankle boots I so frequently wear are a subject for another post as they are a very different style and serve in all seasons.

I suspect a lot of TGirls secretly prefer winter to summer as the choice and style of clothes is wider-ranging. Do let me know about your favourite things, and any constructive criticism of my style is welcome.

I hope winter is not too cold for you and you avoid colds, flus and, above all, the dreaded coronavirus. 

* Readers who are unsure of the cultural references above may like to follow the links below:

Balenciaga sequin overknee boots 

Daphne and the Scooby gang 

Glitter boots saved my life 

 

A dip in the archives

Here's a link to a post about a little holiday I took en femme late in the autumn nine years ago. I stayed with a much-loved friend on the Isle of Wight and there was no male time at all. There's a photo of me in my favourite black boots again, with jeans this time, a winning combination. And the leather mini in the Nottingham party photo above was borrowed from my kind hostess.

A little holiday

Sue x